The unnecessaries

#1 developmental assessment

Me : pt already has palmar grasp n can transfer objects, but when i tried to make him to bang d cubes, he was unable to do so...

Prof : U r so IRRITATING...why do u need to say, i tried this that hah...Perlu ke??? Ckp je la cannot bang cubes, haishh..

Me : +.+ sorry prof..

#2 pneumonia-thingy

Me : on auscultation, both sides hav equal air entries, however, there was bronchial breathing n coarse creps over lower zone of left lung..

Prof : so?

Me : i was thinking of lobar pneumonia...

Prof : do u get extra mark ke for saying "i was thinking...??"

Me : no prof *tunduk kepala, haihh"

Words can be consoling and damaging sometimes. Choose wisely. 

Paediatrics posting. Org tgh ward round, ak boleh duk main n acah pt kt sblah. Haih. Posting ni mmg payah nk concentrate skit...

Back to d basic

Finally, got a chance to rant a few words here. Today was a non-stop class from 10 am till 5 pm, got a break only for half an hour. At d end of d day, my brain was so jammed, that was when d specialist asked me what was normal value for hb, i went "err, what hb??!" Psychomentally-retarded. Hehe. Doing anaest posting now. At d end of d day, it all went back to our physiology which i already flushed it out during our 2nd professional. Oh my. To a point when a specialist questioned our final year status. Okayy, sorry...our knowledge wass sooo volatile, that from 2nd year till now, what's remaining in our grey and white matter was so ciipuuut. Sampai stroke volume pun tak terkeluar. Adehh. What's happening nooww hahahahaa. 

Among d bread n butter of an anaestheologist, d unsung hero that will never get remembered by d patients

In icy-cold operation theatre

Why?

My previous posts were all about medical. Hahaha, sounds pretty much mcm xde life je. But at d end, what important is how u present ur life in front of Him. Hehehe. Prof N, asked us, why we took medicine..(its a bit too late actually to ask that question), so, i answered because i like it. I like d human science (despite of everybody was giving me yeah-dats-so-skema-answer look..hehe). The same reason why i like to write evendo it's not academic in content. Writing has therapeutic values to me at least. Hahaha. 

So, now, what's was my point writing this entry? Hahaha. Bosan sebenarnye. I dont know where is everybody else. Hehhe. 

Waiting alone somewhere. Haha

OT story-mory...

Funny stuff

There was a time when my friend n i wanted to go to d ot. But suddenly realising dat my friend didnt have new tudung for it. A big no-no la kan klau masuk ot dgn tudung luar. So, i told her to wait in d changing n i looked for any extra tudung. I found it, and i gave to her. She was like shocked and screamed like gile at me..."seriously, like seriously u r giving me SARUNG BANTAL! SARUNG BANTAL for god sake!" ......Errr, awk kan suke pakai shawl, sarung bantal pun boleh belit into shawl pe....and both couldnt stop laughing for dat. It was sarung bantal putih for patient's bed. At that particular time, i really didnt know what was on my mind...ntah kenapa laa time tu, kalut sgt sampai sarung bantal pun ak rase boleh jd tudung.....

Yeah, another creepy photo. This is a sliced-uterus. Hahaha. *ok, not funny* hmm, If endometrial carcinoma didnt make it grew bigger, then what did? Jeng jeng jeng

xSemangat request kt MO nak assist ERPOC. Lepas tu, blurr dari A-Z. Nak scrub pun hancur. Nasib baik OT staff baik time ni huuu 

When mama interuppted dis so-called medical discussion. Hahaha. Ok2 i know, i saved my parents numbers using their names. 

Here n there

A seriously one short post..

I'm almost at d end of my ong posting. N still feel like lacking in everywhere. Huuu. Our grand ultimate Prof N said, we r not behaving like a medical student. In other way of putting it, we r pretty much useless bunch of ppl. Oh well, almost 3 yrs of clncl have made d ears numb towards dat kind of comments. At d end of d day, take watever d lessons u can to be a better person, d rest...just flush it into d toilet bowl. Hehe. 

Today is a public hol. Unfortunately, no 1 plan is...to go to hospital, find a case for presentation and cover d wards for teaching round. Hahha. Well, typical life of medical student. What's more a HO later.

Ok, maybe not really a short post. 

Pretending to look hard at d screen during seminar, budget la concentrate, when in fact, all we could think was foooood.

Among d photos found in our smartphones. Typical of medical ppl. This patient has massive adhesion and beyond recognition for futher surgery.

Ohh yeahh!

I promised myself to write a new post after I finish with my cwu. Well, i havent finish it yet, and here I am, wanting to rant one or two stuff here. Where should i begin errmmm...well, right now, i'm enjoying my watever-still-left in my hols (read : freedom). Luxurious sem break. Huhu. But still, d work n assignments, everything still needs to get done. 

First of all, i'm blessed and thankful to Allah for i'm still breathing n living in His religion. 

Secondly, this country is getting more ridiculous...in political, economical, educational bla-bla-bla... and suddenly, anybody is subjected to this sedition act...making me more nervous even to continue writing this hhahaha

Thirdly, being in final year, pretty much stressed everyone out. What's more being in a totally different group of people and u'll start seeing how ppl act and react differently. I'm okay with people, but i hate bad attitude (not that mine is good enough hahaha). Just to say, i need to calm down a little bit and let things happen. Adapting or ignoring, whatever laa to survive. 

Fourthly, marriage. Oh wow. I'm writing about this once and for all....wat to say eeh. Hmmm, let's just skip this one....Zzzzzzz. Not interested to think or write about it. Heh. 

Lastly, i need to stop writing this and focus on my cwu n watever books i brought along from d hostel. 

Anwayyy, i'll update from time to time, the chronicles of being a final yeaar. muhahaa.

Dedicated to my special readerss, my fatherr of courseee. When suddenly he asked me, why i havent update this blog for soooo long. Really baba, really, u read myy blogg *tears* hehehehe. And to a few friendss of mine who keep on asking me to update d blog (ok, tipu. xde la 'keep  on asking' pun..). Well, let's just stop d narcissism here. Hehe. 

Temerloh wayy of grand opening the labour set. Forceps sane sini.

The height doesnt matter when the spirit is on! -Limah

Sakinah, d bossy sistah..

Just ignore bob. With miss eyzawiyah. Our fathers' x-usm student.
(itu yg beriya amik gmbr nye haha)

Waiting for miss eyza. Surprise birthday party jusstt after our short cases exam.

Ci-ku-cak with optic disc. 

Alas!

Assalamualaikum. Amboi lame nye xmenulis kt blog ni. Lepas breakfast, tetiba mengidam nak tulis sumthing. Even it is out of significance. Hehe.

Well. i've started my final yr since more than 2 more ago. With a new group, no a prob. Just fine with me. (okay tipu la, nasib baik ade sof, ade jugak teman nk berbicara panjaaaang2. Teman sama2 sesat. hahaha. Dalam OT temerloh pun boleh sesat =.='). Unfortunately, my new group ni, mostly negative sense of direction. Do a combination of me, sof n hawa. Oh myyy, u never know where we will end up. Dasat. (pompuannn, cliche xreti jln...)

Done psychiatry, Ophthal n ENT. For me, among the luxurious postings ever. Great n cool lecturers n ppl in d clinics plus freedom of my night time. Ehehe. So, bile masuk ong, rase mcm dah lame sgt xkena maki n tengking sana-sini. Hahaha.

Us, the gen05. :D

And i got a new addition into the biig family (yeayyyy :D, alhmdulillahhh). Newborn nephew, 5th anak sedara. And of course laa, next year baru dapat jumpe. Huhuhu.

Boyssss hehe

Random old time pics. hewhewhew

Ranau #2

Rumah yg kami sewa agak serba kekurangan tp dipujuk hati agar diberi peluang utk mengajar diri erti bersyukur dan bersabar. Tp alhamdulillah, owner rumah pun mcm memahami, ditambah2 nye pelbagai perabot n alatan rumah yg baru.  Hehe :) 

2 benda yg menarik di Ranau ialah permandangan n culture nye. Mostly di Ranau org Dusun. Ada yg muslim, christian n pagan. Kat sini, 50-50 muslim n christian. Sekali pandang mmg xboleh nk differentiate dusun muslim or christian. Kalau di hosp, nama mcm melayu dgn ber'binti' tak semestinya muslim n nama yg pelik2 tak semestinya christian. U've got to ask to know. And anjing2 yg berkeliaran, melepak di doorstep rumah2 sini ialah scene yg agk biasa jugak la (tp bukan doorstep rumah kami la hehe). U dont disturb them n they wont bother u. 

Another thing is the view. Anywhere within Ranau, boleh nampak gnung kinabalu kat background. Subhanallah, cantek sgt ok! Mungkin sbb selalu sgt di bandar, so, pemandangan gunung tu sgt la refreshing rasa nye. Hehe. 

Our 1st day

Hosp Ranau with Mount Kinabalu at back

Taken in Kundasang

Breakfast at the car-side. At Desa Dairy Farm

At Desa Dairy Farm. Nak panjat ni dah gelabah, belum nk panjat gunung kinabalu. hahaha

Teaser Ranau

Duk dalam rumah...

"Whats smell is this?"

"Thats kampungg smell laa"

Ahahaha. Here we are at Ranau. The pekan is not that rural pun, but the house we are living is. Nak bergosip pun jiran sebelah boleh dengar. Well, mama ckp, "nahh nak cari pengalaman sgt..hahah" Gelak sama-sama. 

Duit mungkin byk habis tp boleh dicari. Tapi pengamalan dan memori suka duka xsemua boleh dicari.

"Prof, payah juga nak ke Sabah ni, nak cari rumah, kereta bagai sume"

Prof ckp, "haishh, org muda skranng ni payah skit dah mengeluh..." 

Senyum je tgk prof. Prof badan kecil je tp jiwa besar. Bila ckp nak ke Sabah, word pertama yg keluar dari mulut prof, 'berdakwah'.

Semalam, on d way to Ranau, ada church dekat setiap 1 km. Dengan signboard yg super besar. Mengalahkan sume signboard yg ada. Hebat x usaha dakyah diorg?  Huhu. Tp alhamdulillah, sampai Ranau, ada jugak masjidnya. Agak besar n nampak lively skit, sbb ade kedai2 kat dlm tu plus ada jugak sebahagian jemaah dr golongan muda. Hehe. 

Till here. Will write some more later. 

Here and There

The older u get in medical school, d more u feel u don't know. Or at least u used to know before. Used to. 

Currently, am in family medicine. One more exam-bonded posting. Before elective. What 's interesting in this posting? Hmmm, spent a lot of time in car, travelling one KK to another. Meeting all sort of people. Primary care. First contact with patients + gate keeper to hospital admission. Okkkayy, i'm not replacing prof K to give her lectures. But my point is, this is where the common things r happening. Where does d unwell but stable ppl get treatment. Basically, patients here include all branches of medicine. So, still got to know from A-Z, just not that deep. 

Having said that plus being a 5th yr med student plus completed almost all major posting = subjected to 'bamboo'ing by all parties. Not knowing. Or used to know. 

Well, plenty more to come in future. So, xheran la. Still, got to learn from d experiences. Valuable beb. 

May Allah strengthen the heart to embark on this loooong endless journey + increase the knowledge. Amiin. 

And the golden phrases : the bio-psycho-sosial approach and diagnosis. Making me feel that this family medicine is an integration of psychiatry and int. medicine. Tp hampeh, practically, none to be seen in KK pn. Fast-paced. Mane dan. 

Oklah. Out. Salam.

Immunization on-going issue : the anti-vaxers

Sakinah kena dengue early this week.
Alhmdulillah no hosp, just daily fbc for monitoring.

This journey needs a strong heart.
Pray to Him, the turner of all hearts.

Its just a teaser

of what future behold. 

Despite of having another exam tomorrow, here i am writing another puporseless post. Others r having their power naps to go tru another study n sleepless night. Tonite.

Earlier today, the patient in the hypothetical theory exam was actually having UTI with SIRS, complicated with AKI and hyponat 2nd to nv, followed by HAP with respiratory failure and complicated again by pseudomembranous colitis due to overwhelming abx therapy. Pity that make-up patient. Heh.

Well, life is not getting any easier from here and now on i guess. 

More to come. 

And yeah, cant wait to be home. Tomorrow.

#prayfor529mesir #prayforMH370 #prayforinternalmedicineexam

A minute to break

Alhamdulillah, I survived this week. :D It's a chronic sleep deprivation when u find urself keep on sleeping and waking up in front of laptop. hahaha. End this week felt like almost 60% of d workload was pulled off. 'High-five'-ing myself. ehehe. 

Still smm and sewaktu dgn nye needs a final touch n editing. Hah buat lagi tjuk genetics mmg haru rase bace journal n sebagainye. Hehee. Well, talking about supervisor, some can be superb-ly offended if u were just to email or msg him/her. i mean, evendo the msg was intended to ask when to meet. Like haaa. I guess d previous student under his/her supervision must have really irritate him/her before. n d thing i learned in med school, ur superior always right. hahahaaaha. Oh well. 

Anyway, int med is coming to its end. Likee whattt, rase mcm br smlm je start. Not sure what happened in between dat. 

Hmmm, yesterday's meeting, when big boss reminded everyone regarding our tanggungjawabsss. Its not the issue of how many responsibilities u have. It's going to get more n more in the future. It's how u manage ur prioritisation. Jgn jadi mcm tukul dgn pahat la.  Ok, snap. Terasa. Haish. 

Oklaa.

still #prayforMH370

and #palestinesyriamesir huhuuu

Jumpe bdak2 newcastle kt program ari tu.
Masing2 mcm cam xcam je, skali once dh perasan, mcm whoaaaaa.

Oh my...sofiyyah getting tembam-er. at the 90th+ centile. hahahaa

Macam-macam

Both life and air currently are suffocating. Will be more suffocating in future. Hopefully not for the latter one okay. Na'uzubillah.

Sekarang nk bukak tingkap fikir 2-3 kali. Sbb bau asap je. Last2 baju pn bau asap. Huhu. Nikmat udara segar Allah tarik. Nah hamek kau.

This few weeks, mcm2 jadi nya. Ape negara ni semakin lama semakin xberkat kot? Kalau jahiliyyah terang terangan sana sini tp sume buat2 xnampak, xtau. Yg xinnocent, dijadikan innocent, yg innocent wat dek je. Mmg haru biru...

Ermmm. Laju je jari ni type kat keyboard ni. Kwn sebelah mesti igt aku tgh syoknye menyiapkan case report yg mmg dari td asyik tersadai. Heh.

Ermmm, skang tgh peak sume org stress nk menyiapkan case report, SSM, seminar dan ade jugak yg unfortunate kne kalut2 fikir utk cpc jugak nnt ni. Tu masih ade yg belum settle cex. Mmg seminggu dua ni boleh dikatan haru la jugak.

Ade yg stress, tetiba wat decision nak kuar mkn ice cream mlm2. Waaa, seronok, tp bile fikir JPA xmasuk lg, eheh, lupakan la.  Instead, tidoo is the most economical stress-reliever for now -..- ahaha.

Elective posting ari tu semangat nk wat kt Sabah lps hajat nk g Brisbane terbengkalai (3k utk 3minggu kot hosp tu mintak =.='). Skarang ni, tgh haru nk cari tmpt penginapan + sewa kete kt Sabah. Mmg $$$ laaa jugaakk.

hhuahua, lupa plak nk siram pokok syeera. Katenye kne siram twice a day. Pagi dah. Ptg td mcm hujan, ok la kot. Pokok cili yg kiteorg suspek die jantan, sbb smpai skarang xde sbijik pn cili keluar. haiih. Pokoook oh pokook.

Huahua, kan best klau bleh bantai tulis case report dgn journal pelbagai dgn cara sempoi begini. hhaaha. mimpi laa.

Oklah mmg ade flight of ideas sgt ni. Hoihoi, jomla kembali ke bumi nyata utk siapkn case report, seminar dan pelbagai lg........

...

Kebenaran...

Setiap yang benar 

betapa ditekan 

tetap menjalar, 

tanpa dibaja, 

kan tetap mekar, 

tanpa udara pun 

kan tetap segar. 

-A.Samad Said

Le Weekend?

Yeah, so much for d weekend. 

Classes here and there. The weekend bliss.

...

Hati yang fragile means hati yg semakin jauh dari Dia. huuu.

Alhamdulillah selamat masuk ke posting baru. Internal medicine II. hmmm. selamat la sgt.

Tak tau nk tulis pe dah. Poverty of thot. Ok bai. =.='

Bussiness round. Yep. 

Hols

I havent update much about hols. Most likely because i dun really hav much hols nowadays and of course, will be lesser in future.

End of d psy posting .
One of d patient drew me a 'pontianak'. He said better off to befriend with vampires than un'covered' women with tight clothes. hahaaa.

It was almost 2 am and she was still active.
Too tired to entertain her, i finally gave in and returned this cheeky girl to her parents.

Ahahaa. Just a short one. Not really in the mood of writing a lengthy one. 

Status

"Status APG ni selalu je menusuk.."

"Hahaha, yeke? hari ni status psl pe?"

"ermmmm........kat dunia ni, ada 2 golongan manusia..........yg baca AlKahfi dgn yg tak baca..."

=.='

oooh, baiklaaaaaahh.

 Jumaat, Kahfi JOM! :)

Connection

Al-Anfaal, 63 :

"...And brought together their hearts. If you had spent all that is in the earth, you could not have brought their hearts together; but Allah brought them together. Indeed, He is Exalted in Might and Wise."

Hati kita masing-masing Allah yang pegang. Kalau ukhuwwah fillah, sebengang mana dgn sahabat kita, Allah kasi cantum balik. heee. 

"Bagai air dicencang tidak akan putus..." heh. betul ke x. Kena berguru dgn Dr Chong. His Malay is soooo heybbat with all sort of peribahasa and flowery words despite not being a Malay himself. ahaahaha. 

Psy posting nak abes dah. Next week exam. May Allah ease everyone (as well as ortho supplement lpass tu!) Dah mcm2 cite dgr from patients. Humaaaan imagination can beee soooo expansilee. hahaha.

Hati Cincang

"Auntie, hati tu ade rase kena cincang ke?"

Heh, nak tergelak jugak dgr Dr tanye mcm tu kat patient.

Hati kena cincang.

Luka berdarah weh. hahaha.

Ehem. Xde nak cite hati cincang ke ape. Heee.

Semalam ade kelas tafsir ust Kasyfun. Continue lagi surah An-Nuur.

Br je duduk ust terus baca ayat 14-18 surah An-Nuur.

14. Dan kalaulah tidak kerana adanya limpah kurnia Allah dan rahmatNya kepada kamu di dunia dan di akhirat, tentulah kamu dikenakan azab seksa yang besar disebabkan kamu turut campur dalam berita palsu itu; - 

15. Iaitu semasa kamu bertanya atau menceritakan berita dusta itu dengan lidah kamu, dan memperkatakan dengan mulut kamu akan sesuatu yang kamu tidak mempunyai pengetahuan yang sah mengenainya; dan kamu pula menyangkanya perkara kecil, pada hal ia pada sisi hukum Allah adalah perkara yang besar dosanya. 

16. Dan sepatutnya semasa kamu mendengarnya, kamu segera berkata: "Tidaklah layak bagi kami memperkatakan hal ini! Maha Suci Engkau (ya Allah dari mencemarkan nama baik ahli rumah Rasulullah)! Ini adalah satu dusta besar yang mengejutkan". 

17. Allah memberi pengajaran kepada kamu, supaya kamu tidak mengulangi perbuatan yang sedemikian ini selama-lamanya, jika betul kamu orang-orang yang beriman. 

18. Dan Allah menjelaskan kepada kamu ayat-ayat keterangan (hukum-hukumNya); kerana Allah Maha Mengetahui, lagi Maha Bijaksana.

Ayat2 sebelum tu adalah penceritaan bagaimana Saidina 'Aisyah telah difitnah. Sedih ok. At some Rasulullah tak bertegur sapa dgn 'Aisyah. In fact, semua dlm keadaan xpasti nak percaya or tidak kepada berita yg disampaikan kaum munafik. 

Just imagine hati seorang perempuan, it's okay when d rest of d world is doubting u, but when ur loved one does dat…only God knows betapa 'cincang' nya hati tu. Huuu. 

Alrite, just a teaser utk ayat2 sebelum tu. Just nak share the verses that come after that. Ayat ke-11, Allah bebaskan tuduhan fitnah drpd 'Aisyah. Next verses, Allah betul2 kecam mereka yg sampaikan berita tak benar ttg org beriman. Fuuuuh.

"19. Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang suka terhebah tuduhan-tuduhan yang buruk dalam kalangan orang-orang yang beriman, mereka akan beroleh azab seksa yang tidak terperi sakitnya di dunia dan di akhirat; dan (ingatlah) Allah mengetahui (segala perkara) sedang kamu tidak mengetahui (yang demikian)."

In other words, jgn berprasangka buruk terhadap org di-sekeliling kita esp sahabat and kawan2 kita. Kalau dah terdetik di hati, jgn lafazkan di mulut. Ust pesan.

Kita fikir, alaaa, cite je, no big deal. xde masalah kan. Bukan nye kita belasah or pukul org tu. 

"dan kamu pula menyangkanya perkara kecil, pada hal ia pada sisi hukum Allah adalah perkara yang besar dosanya."

Naaah, amik kau! 

Ust pesan utk jaga perhubungan dgn manusia. Okk, mmg mata rasa mcm masuk habukk gile. Tuhann je tau dah berapa byk dosa buat dgn mulut ni. Lagi-lagi minggu ni. Event tu. Sediih sgt.

Mungkin kita xbuat dosa besar. Zina, bunuh, minum arak ke ape. Tp dosa kecil sape perasan? Kita yg buat pn xperasan. Malaikat ratib dan 'atid je lajuu catat sume tu.

Pastu Ust sambung dgn ayat 20 dgn 21,

20. Dan kalaulah tidak kerana adanya limpah kurnia Allah dan rahmatNya kepada kamu, dan juga (kalaulah tidak kerana) bahawa Allah Amat melimpah belas kasihanNya, (tentulah kamu akan ditimpa azab dengan serta-merta). 

21. Wahai orang-orang yang beriman, janganlah kamu menurut jejak langkah Syaitan; dan sesiapa yang menurut jejak langkah Syaitan, maka sesungguhnya Syaitan itu sentiasa menyuruh (pengikut-pengikutnya) melakukan perkara yang keji dan perbuatan yang mungkar. Dan kalaulah tidak kerana limpah kurnia Allah dan rahmatNya kepada kamu, nescaya tidak ada seorang pun di antara kamu menjadi bersih dari dosanya selama-lamanya; akan tetapi Allah membersihkan sesiapa yang dikehendakiNya (menurut undang-undang peraturanNya); dan (ingatlah Allah Maha Mendengar) lagi Maha Mengetahui

Tgh2 sedih dgn dosa bergunung ni, dtg laaa plak ayat 20. Semakin byk habuk kat mata ni…

'Walau la fadhlullah'….byk kali keluar phrase ni dlm surah An-nuur. Kita ni, klau x kerana belas kasihan Allah, klau x kerana hidayah yg Dia sering bg, klau x kerana nikmat yg Dia kurniakan setiap saat, pasti kita x lari drpd azab Allah.

Allah tu maha pengampun, even sebesar gunung everest pn dosa kite, selama mana kita asyik lupa and lalai pada Dia, Allah tu sifat nye Ghafur.

Tp manusia, belum tentu…

wallahu'alam.

A breaker

Sometimes in life, people make mistakes. We hurt each other in a subtle way that we dun even realize it.

But, would it fair, to focus one mistake and to totally forget d whole great things about it?

All those time. All those moments.

A breaker. I am.

And again, why bother on what others r saying about it, when in fact, how do u feel about yourself is the most important.

Leave it or say it. Both bear different consequences.

And now, I've to pay for the choice I made.

As the saying goes, "Bagai tikus membaiki labu...."

#misshome

Byk bende nk bgtau, byk bende nak bebel kt blog ni. Tp xleh spend byk masa kt sini. So many thingssss r waiting to be brainstormed and done now. Huuu. Allahumma yassir.

And countdown nak balik umah ade lg more and less a month. Can't wait to see everyone at home including d new addition, Sofiyyah!

Sakinah & Sofiyyah

saje nak lepas gian tulis blog. hahaaaaa.