Bile housemates adalah mo kt same dept

Hakikatnye ak nak cekik diri ak for putting myself into this weird n ackward situation. Tp not everyone is the same at work n at home. Ahahahahaaha......

Terkial kial mencari rentak

Well byk plak masa nk update hihi

Tgh2 tagging kt ward rase rileks la skit lagi rileks klau mo n specialist yg round tu jenis supporting n bukan hormonal mcm sesetgh ongist ni.

Rate of extend kt sini agk tnggi. Thanks to this particular specialist. Even hod pn xdpt nk argue dgn die. Aduh. Dahle supervisoor ak. Hmmm. Slalu bile everybatch masuk 4-5 je akn dilpaskn. Slbihnye akn di extendkan to 1-2 months. Maka ak dh nmpak future ak kt ong mcm mne. Berzmn la ak duk sini.

Nak kne kejar logbook tagging pastu viva baru offtag. Wpun mcm certain tmpt bleh auto-offtag je after 2 weeks tp ak agree la bile ko kne wat certain requiremnt n viva, at least u r in-chargeable n trust-able. Hihi

Yeah....till i got some free time to mngomel sini. Misssssss home thp gilosss. N dah start bnjir ni huhu...moga2 dipermudahkan semua

Ong neonates

Yeah currently got basic life support aka BLS training...so got few extra min to write stuff here.

2 days living as ho...1st poster tagging ho in ong posting, at labour room exactly...
To put it negatively
Terrible
Horrible and
Miserable....

On a bright side i learn a lot, a very indeed steep learning growth. But this period of learning comes with huge responsibility n complications along the way. Mistakes r unavoidable. Mcm biase klau dah salah or xdpt nk wat pastu kena marah plak for being slow...mmg down. Nak nangis tp nasib baik jenis tahan ayaqq mata kuat. Cari spot privacy skit. Kahkah.

Anyway being a local grad may have help u familiarize with the ward n hosp condition but being student n working r 2 opposite poles. Walaupun dh tau beza sblum ni, but putting urself in the situation baru rasa tinggi langit tu. Ewaah metafora nye ayat.

Worst days r yet to come. Baru taggers 1st poster org xbg expectation yg tinggi. So yeah...

Eceeeh entry as day 3 of life mcm saiko je. InsyaAllah moga ade kekuatan.

Next time till im offtag (with d logbook filling rate ni bile laa bleh nk offtag ahaha)...

Quarter-Century

Yes, i turned 25 years old today. It makes u think, how far have u achieve in ur life or how much amal have u made for the life after this? So much blessings have been bestowed by Him, but does my gratefulness can ever equate those. 

Life after this needs greater scale of strength. Expectation vs self-experience are 2 different things. Even if u expect the worst of everything - the question lies whether ur mental/emotion/physical capacity can adequately compensate them. Listening to many stories of HO quitting does give u a sheer fright to such situation. Life is about choices. Quitting maybe is the best circumstantial option for those who did it at that particular time. We'll never know. 

Today's birthday cake story, i told my nieces they could only eat the cake if I allowed them. So, i left the cake on table for the whole day, just to see how far they could resist the temptation (such an evilish aunty laa aku ni hahaha). 

 With the loss of few cherries and the densely-topped chocolate flake was gone - not bad laa.
 Taat juga anak sedara aku ni haa. Alhamdulillah hihi

And also, thanks to those who wish me. Esp to those who even pray for me to get marry soon. I do appreciate it hahaha. 

Nothing seems to work out

Among my mission for this remaining heavenly-hols is to post as much as possible here before i really go into a long hiatus mode. I'm not sure what to expect - or i should not expect anything after all? Tricky mind games. haha. 

Planning - the most core thing about it, is get prepared that it will not even get executed or run as it should be. That's the game of life. Nothing will ever get u prepare for it. 

#throwback

The recent house hunting for my HO-ship reminded me of Ranau. The house we rent during the elective. And the shock we had. Hahaha. Orang bandar sangat kan. Lol. While we'r at this, here some pics of it...missing the memories...

the green house...2 bijik astro tu sekadar hiasan 

The entrance or trail to the house with group of dogs waiting n guarding? in front haha
by 5-6 pm, kiteorg mmg dah balik rumah n bertapa sbb kwsn agk gelap klau balik mlm2

but nothing can ever beat this view waktu keluar rumah
2 weeks je elective, the rest jlnnnn2

Anyway, talking about house hunting, my father quoted an arabic wisdom, aj jaar qabla ad daar - the neighbour before the house. One value that is forgotten by far too many people. the more advanced a community less interaction they have (well, xde la semua sebenarnya huhu). One time, while i was having a posting at temerloh, 2 years back - it was during a weekend when this an old man came knocking on our door. Of course la i didn't think much at that time (igtkan pakguard haha =.='). Suddenly he said, "nak beli berlian x?" while showing a cluster of what-he-called loose diamonds la kan. I was like...haaaahhh apekah. Quickly said sorry and closed the door. Still i thot it was random people selling weird stuff. Unknowingly, my neighbour (who was staying at the opposite of our house) witnessed the events.  Then, he went around and around telling the story and advising the other students to lock the gate and never open door to any strangers. When the story came back to me, i was like, "ehhh mcm aku je yg bukak pintu tu, hahaa". Well, things could get worse actually, that someone could be doing some act of pukau or God knows what was really happening at that time. My point here is to live in a community is to be concerned to one another. Preventive action of any unwanted events. Well, theoretically begitulah, tp kalau dah kerja siang mlm, ke laut juga...so depend on one's self juga. (yg menulis ni pun same je =.=')

Blinded Conformity

At the end of CSI show, they have the ant death spiral scene and Nick explained that ants don't have eyes and they follow the trails with scents. Abnormally (and terribly too), if a loop is created instead, other ants will heed on the scents and thus, a circular mill (made up by antssss) is formed. It could go on by hours and days until they all die of exhaustion or something interrupts the motion. And D.B said, this is a blinded conformity. 

Malay-ly speaking, it is 'ikutan membuta tuli.'

Interesting scene from my fav old series. Hihi.

Too many unthinkable events happen lately, be it national or international. Our political games r getting rougher and dirtier everyday. Reciprocally, it affects the people downwards. The emerge of a new party stirred up the intensity of this battle. and yeah, the breaking up here and there.

Our Gov't is already ke laut looong time ago. They r beyond salvation.

So, now, people are in great confusion, some get so irritated and just shut down from this aspect of life. Some decided to continue the fight. A friend told me, this one has 'imam' as leaders, while this one is lead by professionals. Silently wondering which one is better. The world we r living in now is full of hypocrisy and it is difficult to tell who is better? based on the outer layer of appearance. The betterment depends on whoever has a better conduct.

Information is a click away. Some can be true/untrue/unproven etc...look at it at different angles and perspectives too. One-sided views, u may see the trees but not the jungle (haha apakah analogi ini). Be informed and be critical. The least u can do. And it's not necessary to political views, can be just anything u encountered with.

Quite interesting content...

The only book I bought during KMS d other day...haha

writer of the road to mecca 

NUNJI last month presented by Dr Mujahid Rawa...
the never-ending controversial issues in our country

Yang mane satu?

denied, denied, denied -> asked apology if not saman -> lengthen the time for apology ->
xjd saman bcoz it was true but (spin some stories here) -> if fail, just arrest the informant
storiess of my country =..='

u can be as rajin as semut but don't go do things blindly maaa

A step closer to?

It takes me like forever to properly pusblish a post here. Haha. Pure laziness of me. And i believe this blog will be untouched for the next-nextt years. Hopefully, that does not happen because i like blabbering here. Will be starting Ho-ship soon. All those documents that need to get done, each and everything that needs to have several copies and other misc preparations...New things all over again and truthfully it's lil bit terrifying. hahaha. Terengganu is not too far from here at least. Initially, it was my 1st choice (since my med school actually hahaah). Then, after months of my parents' persistent persuasion, i thot i better off here closer to them and my home. But fate has its own way. Maybe it wants to teach me a lil bit of independency :D. May Allah ease our journey after this....with the so-not-nice stories here and there, tough environment and everything, i hope i can still hold on with the spirit and the reason i embark this urghh tiresome journey in d 1st place. Lol. 

I need to change the above countdown...hihi

Gambar konvo...
Tqqq to baba sbb setia amik gmbr2 during convo n mama meredah panas bagai...
Tgh2 panas pn, ak boleh lagi ade adegan jatuh tngga kat luar dewan, nasib baik bkn ats pentas =.='

I dunno how it happened, but i'm glad we all met n decided to stick to each other...
through thick n thin...

Almost There

Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli...we received the news from SPA that we were offered for HO intake this Dec. Letters are making their ways to our homes. Yet I'm still unsure what to feel. The closer it comes, the more blunted I feel. 

Anyway, I made a mental note to post a few things here. But pure laziness and a heavy sense of procrastination really made my day. I got a chance to attend a few events for the last few months. So much to share and yet I'm stuck either on bed or in front my tv haha. 

Early Sept, I had chance to attend National Unity workshop organised by IDEAS people (was actually replacing my younger brother). You know what, mostly those who attended there were either have political science background or actively involved in that particular field - guess u know where I stood among them; clueless most of the time. hahaha. And it was a workshop, man. WORKSHOP. U supposed to throw out ideas and questioning statements coming from each other. Dude, i was not in the right place. Yet, it was so interesssting that I forgot to take any pictures while I was there. Somehow, that particular event became a platform for me getting to know people of different ideologies. Libertarians, socialist etc...and my facilitator herself is from Seksualiti Merdeka. Surprisingly, including me, there were 3 USIMians. None of them I'd known before actually. 

There's a few points worth of sharing here. Two mains topics discussed were on public policy research and campaign/advocacy. It sounded very technical like sooo way beyond my usual thing. The former topic was on research for issues concerning public policy making. Nothing new, since we also had discussed it in during the good old days at campus. We were then divided into civil society (also known NGO), politicians, businessmen and student group. This way of division was to see how each level of people favour certain interest according to their niches in the community. The theme was on fostering national unity.

I was placed into civil society (like thank God because at least something I was familiar with - i think...). We decided to focus on education part, in which at last, we unanimously believe that our current history subject was very lacking. How? Well, it didn't deliver the message of 'hubbulwaton' and understanding + respect to other races and cultures. Our history is merely factual events and rigid contents with one-sided point of view. My history textbooks were full of highlights ink. Haha. Because I didn't grasp the core of subject instead I memorised it all and regurgitated it back on exam papers next day. I hate it yet I wanted to pass (as nerd as it may sound) - with flying colour. Lol. My nephew who stays in Australia; while he was on vacation here, was telling me a story on WW2. How he hates Japanese soldiers - said they were bad people for attacking the Americans. He said it soooo enthusiastically as if he is an American =.='. (when I was 7 y.o, i'm still in my own world :P). My point here is, some people way of teaching/learning the history is remarkably effective.

Another issue was, the weightage of peninsular vs Borneo history is off balance. The Borneo side of history is somehow marginalised compared to us here. I remembered reading about their fight against British, feeling like they were side dish to our main fight here in peninsular. At the end of our discussion, we recommended that our history syllabus to be govern by independent bodies that are not biased by certain political groups. But will it possible for us to have the uncensored history of our nation that really (really) teach on early cultural relation, our Malay dilemma (should I say ketuanan Melayu?) or other narrative views on the nation's history? That really requires enormous reform in the education system. Lol. Which at this particular moment is...a bit...unreachable?

Other groups were speaking on women's right in the corporate, speech freedom in universities for students and academicians and i could not remember what was the 'politicians' were after for...hahaha

My usual awful handwriting - i volunteered to write most of the time hahaha

                                     

Next, the second half of the day, we had a forum on 'Advocacy & Campaign'. The forum was based on the panelists' experiences in organising and handling their own's. We got different panelist from different NGOsss; Yana Rizal (Projek Dialog), Mandeep Singh (Bersih 2.0), Thilaga Sulathireh (Seksualiti Merdeka) and Abdul Rahman Shah (TFTN). Among the points emphasised by the panelist were proper documentation, to have a niche (either from group u've working already or forming a coalition with other) and I couldn't really recall anything else...hahaha.

So, for the group discussion, we had Thilaga to facilitate us. Her story during the forum was, of course, on her fight for LGBT and how they've become the national threat for that. I shall not discuss on their choices here. But among their fight, I believe, was on basic human rights. If that's so, whatever their choices are, their basic human rights should not be violated.  So, for the advocacy, we made a sequel from our previous presentation; that is to introduce diversity of our historical narrative to the education board. By doing so, it gives the students freedom to choose the book that suits their thoughts (well, i guess at the same time, encourage them being critical and creative). and yeah, creates more challenges (probs as well :P) to the teachers. The idea sounds too idealistic actually.  With the gap between the rural and urban areas as well as the draconian law we have in this country, the idea is a bit overestimate. But it's never too late to think of anything. hihihoo. 

With the group faci - very resourceful and friendly in person

Wow, this is super lengthy post than my usual. Still have a few to write...till i've have the spirit and mood for more lengthy postts hahaaha

Bedtop Ranting : Jobless

i didn't post anything lately because nothing much to be said or blabbered here. i'm still in the transition place of no-longer-a-student-yet-jobless. Based on seniors' experience, we thot we could slot in the september's HO intake. We were wrong. It's full already. Now, we got extra 2 months.  I really want to travel but looking at our current devastating, continuing declining currency rate, it's not a good choice either. haih. so, here i am, looking at this laptop, thinking what should i write. 

there r so much things going on in this country right now. u don't know how to say or begin with. let's just look at our administrating government. everything that happens r beyond intellectual or even logical comprehension. corruptions here are blatantly done. now we're definitely gaining more fame in that area else where. looking back, why muslim countries are always the ones with highest corruption rate...guess the belief and faith are fading away. needless to say, one crime leads to another and vicious cycle just continues in its evilish way. people who r trying to get things right are often threatened and shush-ed away. this country is definitely on verge of political emergency...(or it is already?) 

pic says it all...

Nothing much going on with my personal life. weddings here n there. some of my besties are upgrading one level now. may Allah bless u all. till i got something worthy of blabbering. i'll just post few photos now.

alhamdulillah, complete version of family photo. so nice to have everyone home! :P

Sofiyyah's identity crisis. dress + kopiah... 

'glamourously' (laaaaaaaa sgttt)  known as CBT 

outing with mak buyung...i just realised, most already taken :P

A Breakthrough 2

alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal...

It's the half of the ramadhan already...omgg that's sooo fast. Last night, i really had bad, really bad my usual allergic rhinitis, rase dh mcm air terjun dari hidung ni. I'd to stop my terawekh early, run back home n just fell asleep. since, that's the only way to make it stop despite of all sort of nasal sprays and anti-histamine. 

Let's continue where i've left. We have 2 weeks of medical ethics posting before we had our study leave. it was wonderful posting actually discussing numerous medical controversial issues but the thots of having pro exam near the corner was really killing us inside. so, every night during the medical ethic posting, some of us would go to the wards and really, really brush up all the examinations techniques...

we had a picnic with ust nazri during the weekend, small gathering with before we left the school huhuhu

during medical ethics, my group was given task to debate on whether dispensing role should be taken out from GP's...
i'd no idea what d heck i was debating on hahaha

what was with a guy strapped with a piece of cloth n a ball?
man-breast! lol
this time actually, we were having a mock exam for our friends sitting for surgery supplementary exam...

So within that 2 weeks of study leave, we pretty much need to digest all infos and examinations from various posting. Boleh dpt mental breakdown rasenye. it was like ur main agenda for the whole week was studying...at the end, all we did was selectively study yg main2 posting n main topics je. Hahaha. At that time, only God knows how serabut our brains were.

with all-time-fav lecturer - int med revision...

this was taken during our study group at temerloh- case presentation asthma kot...hihi

how i even survive this state of room omgggg hahahahaha

About the pro exam itself....we had clinical exm on weekends...coz, that was the only time where the daycare will be empty n unused. Needless to say, the nervousness, the butterflies and how sick it felt that morning. Tp tawakkal je laa. Arriving at the exam place, looking one by one patient coming in for the exam, only God knows howw it feeeelssss inside!!! I was sooo nervousss, my sympathetic response was shoooting so crazy till the moment I was called in for the long case...sumpah nk terberak...(ok, mind the language haha...sorry..). But seriously, i felt like running to the toilet. But alhamdulillah, i calmed down a lil bit and the feeling was gone...fuuuuh. 

my long case was psoaritic athropathy. imagine the moment i arrived at d pt's bed, his hands were all crooked up and when he was trying to sit down, the back was soooo stiff that he couldn't bend at all....i was likeee "ya Allahh, what is thissss!' but alhamdulillah, the pt was soo nice and explained to me one-by-one his prob. i guess bcoz the case was a bit tricky, the examiners only asked pretty much basic knowledge...thank God. for short cases, i got OnG, paedss (initially, i was told to plot a growth chart, haruuu jee, sbb xjumpe2 mne axis utk age hahaha), n lastly opthal... 

candicate 16...

taken  by our lecturer juuuust before our short cases...had to smile for d pic, dlm hati dup dap dup dap....

post clinical exam, relieved sbb dh abes the one main n crucial part of pro exam...
this was taken just outside the daycare...

our exam hall...spot me in the middle with orange tudung n sweater hihi
from 1st yr till 6th year, this is where we had our exams...
nostalgic takk hall ni? hahhaahah traumatized ade leee




Alhamdulillah...we made it :D...this was only half of the list actually...

For few course-mates of us, who Allah has delayed their success, insyaAllah, there r hikmah in it, may u all become stronger Drs  and our prayers be with u all...future journey is going to be tough...i dunno how tough it will be, but enough to get into psy f/up huhuhu...

till here...i guess, i should write non-medical entries after this...

Us @graduation dinner

and yeah this is me...mcm nerd sgt plak with pensss n highlighterss in pocket haha
ok, babai student life...

A Breakthrough

Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal.

I'm so excited to write this new post after a loooong hiatus that i'm not sure what sentences or topics should i start with first.

Well, i've finished my med school. As a expected, previously, i was sooo keen to end this undergrad life, now, i'm starting to miss all those moments esp when i saw my previous posts. All those bitter and sweet moments. Now that i've realised that my last post was end of last year and already so many things happened in between that.

Before I really concluded my undergrad life, maybe a lil recap for the past 6 months would be nice. So, in later years, i can come back here again and be reminded by my ownself what i used to be.


I always like int med posting, despite of its bountiful, borderless and pretty much anything under-the-sun topics...i guess that includes my other course-mates. I'm quite sure the one that make it happen was because we have one hell of coooliooo int med team dept. Hehehe. They make us falling in love with the posting. Although, i'm sure it'll be the most unwanted and hated posting when working later. hahaha. The load of the work will be ....... =.=''

I'm not sure why we had a class on floor, i think the room was occupied n we wanted to save time from looking for other places. n yeah, i was sitting next to garbage bin actually hahaha

the superb int med dept. nak jugak post gmbr ni...ahaha

My last clinical posting was surgery n orthopaedics. When ur father is one of the known, senior as well as malignant orthopods/examiner...i know it wasnt meant to be a nice n peaceful posting. What's more when one of ur lecturers was failed by ur father during his master exam.  Eventhough, it had nothing to do with me...but, yeah, not really a good coincidence.....padahal okay je posting ni, tp tak pasal je ak cuak lebih. nak masuk pass over time pagi2 pn ak doa panjang2 spy xkena soalan pelik2...hahaha. there was one time during pass over, my name was called to answer a question (but my group was in OT, thank Goddd). The question was on xray of cervical vertebrae...which view to see lower cervical bla bla....mentang2 lee baba specialised spine, tak pasal ak kne. hahaha...

we had a quick revision with baba at his hotel...
becoz my orthopods lecturers kept on saying how malignant baba is, i've to convince my friends that he would no eat them alive during d revision class...haha lol   

Among my fav stuff in ortho, POP hihi, nampak tak betapa hancus nye wat POP, ulnar gutter la, volar slab la...
last2 bantai jee...

so mechanical n technical.....

kalau dah name surgical posting, maka, haruslah bertapa di OT...
Looks can be deceiving...nampak je la mcm concentrate observe, God knows where our minds have actually gone...

this was our last day in surgical posting as well as last day in Temerloh.
will i be back here...?? hope nott

Save the last for the best...nothing can beat class ust nazri...the best ever...imagine just 2 hours of class dedicated for u just only to hafal n be with Quran despite of the superbly hectic weeks u had... that moment of peace n rejuvenating...

Nampak tak betapa semangat nye praktis tahriri surah kahfi ni...hihi

With ust nazri, our last time celebrating his birthday...

i think till here for now...mcm dh panjang sgt ni huhu...next post will be the revision week, where we almost lost our mindsss hahaha n pro xam itself. Till i write again....