Where am I?

If I still have any blog readers out there, I apologize for my absense. Im trying to work up the nerve and the desire to relive this all again, to explain why I have not been around. But, frankly I am emotionally exhausted right now. In telling my story as of late, I hope to get a couple things out of it. I hope that one, it will be some sort of therepy for me and help me move on and for two, I hope that maybe I can help someone else into knowing that they are not alone. Because until I came out with this I thought I was totally alone only to find out almost every single married person I know has gone through this. Its a daily struggle to get through each day with these feelings so one day soon, I will be blogging again, and blogging about this.

By the way, the kids and I are in PA now visiting family and friends and its just what I need. We are having a good time.

Goal reached

My goal of 130 pounds has been reached as of yesterday. These pictures are me last week at 133 pounds.

Lazy

I really been lazy with my blog lately. Face Book is so much easier.

Blah.

-23, +Johnny Fairplay

When I look at myself in the mirror, I dont see the 23 pounds that I lost. I still see almost the same person with still room for improvement. But when I see these pictures, I think to myself, Wow. I did lost a lot of weight! Here a few pictures of over the last few days. Currently I am 136 pounds, from 159 pounds in May. I have 6 more pounds until my goal weight, but I think I can spare to lose a little more in the belly. I still have a roll. A much smaller roll..but still a roll I would like to see go away. I had set 130 as my goal to be realistic and make it a goal I know I could reach. From 130 pounds I will just continue my running and better diet habits and if I lose more, great. If not, then 130 is fine too.

Currently I am in a size 8 ladies/9 juniors from barely squeezing into a size 14 ladies/13 juniors. I would love to see a size 6 ladies/7 juniors and Im thinking Im not too far off because the last few times I have worn my size 9 jeans...Ive been hiking them up wishing I had belt that fit me.
Im still running 1 mile per day, some times a little more. It took m3 almost 4 months to get this far. In another 4 months I would love to be able to run 1.5-2 miles per day or even every other day.
Pictures below are from the base Labor Day celebration.





They had great food ( I treated myself to cotton candy) and rides and games for the kiddos. Plus face painting, a clown making balloons and paper flowers, etc.
They also raffeled off free Continental Airline tickets for a round trip to Fiji! We didn't win (booo! could totally use those tickets now to get off this island)
We also had some cast members from the reality show Survivor. The last season we kept up with and watched was the season from which Johnny Fairplay had lied about his grandma dieing to avoid getting voted off. They also had other cast members, but of none I recognized because I haven't watched the show in a long time.
Caden and I got to meet him. I must say I am not a fan how this guy did the tv show....but it was neat to meet him. Here are some pictures of him.

Blah

Soooooo tired of being stuck living on this island! Im so ready to move on! We have 10 more months until we get orders. 10 more...I can do it. WE can do it.

Its so small here. This island is 4 miles wide and 30 miles long. Imagine being stuck in that small of a space to live for FOUR years. Some people even travel more than this island is long just to work!

Im so tired of having nothing to do with our children for whatever reason. This island should not be a four year tour for families with children. Im not kidding when I say there is nothing to do here. We have one VERY small zoo. We have one VERY small water park. We have 2 VERY small malls. And these 'malls' are not like the mall you are picturing. Trust me. I want to be able to take Kayla to a real zoo and to childrens museums to learn and grow.

The weather never changes. Except during the rainy season we get downpours out of nowhere for days, weeks, on end. Its so.freaking.hot.out I barely go outside to play.

I just want to move.

I considered going back home to PA for a visit. Its just too much for the budget to handle. I can hop to Hawaii free and then buy a ticket for myself and the babies from there, but even then its between $700-$1,000. *sigh*

I just want to move.

Real

Come to find out that the funeral exercise that I blogged about below was not an exercise. It was an exercise for a real live military funeral. A National Guard guy from here committed suicide by hanging. So sad. I just found out today.

Playing war

Well, here it is....the week we been dreading for 2 weeks. Or 5 weeks? Dada left home at 2 am Sunday morning to go camp out in Guam's jungles to play/practice war for a BIG inspection. The base has prepped for this inspection for MONTHS. If this inspection fails....well, then the General gets fired. Dada will not be home until Friday.

Poor guy. I couldn't imagine having to do this.

Back to being a single Mom to these 2 little ones.

Pictures below are of last week at the base "Tumbling For Tots" program. At the same time, in the same gym, there was an exercise for a military style funeral. It was very strange sitting there watching my full of life, energetic babies run amok, while right behind them there was a 'funeral' going on.