Well, 2 days have passed so I supposed I should post and let you all know what happened, and give you an update.
On the 26th, I had my orientation. I went in, filled out paperwork, had 7 vials of blood taken for various routine tests. All that took 2 hours of waiting. I sat in the waiting room after that for another 2 1/2 hours. The nurse had told the doc about my brown spotting and he wanted to an ultrasound to just make sure everything was fine. He said many women experience that during pregnancy but as a precaution he wanted to check. So I had to wait until all his appintments were taken care of before he could see me. After being there for 4 1/2 hours, I went to the bathroom and wiped lots of red blood and small clots. I told the nurse I need to see the doctor NOW. So he took me in next, and did the ultrasound. I knew right away something was wrong. The gestational sac was hollow on the screen. I didnt see a bean shape in it at all. He said it was empty and gave me all sorts of options and talked to me and recommended I still go to my scheduled ultrasound the following morning. So I did.
My IUI doc saw the same thing. He game me options and said early miscarriage is common. I opted to just let things pass naturally since I had already started. Im going to see him next week for a follow up to make sure everything has passed. Then I wait for AF to show again and I will start my clomid again and we go from there all over again.
I had a hard day yesterday. I passed many huge clots and it was hard to see. I was in no pain. Its hard to understand why these tissues are falling out of me when they should be in me nourshing my baby.
The good thing is I am very excited to move on and try again. I do not want to wait. I would do another IUI tomorrow if I could. We know that isnt possible though. I am very hopeful and excited and believe things will work out for the best. I know I am meant to be a mommy this way. I know it will happen.
I also researched a lot, and got many girls emailing me who have had success right after a first miscarriage. So I know things will work out. Here is some info form my book, What To Expect When You Are Expecting.
If you've had a miscarriage:
Early miscarriage is very common ( many doctors believe that virtually every women will have atleast one sometime in her reproductive years ), occuring in as many as 40 to 65% of conceptions. More than half of these occur so early that pregnancy is not even suspected yet so these miscarriages go unnoticed, passing for a late normal or heavier period.
Though it is hard for parents to accept it at the time, when an early miscarriage occurs it is usually because the condition of the embryo or fetus is incompatible with normal life. Early miscarriage is generally a natural selection process in which the defective embryo ( defective because of genetic abnormality ) is lost because it is incapable of survival or is overwhelmingly malformed.
All that said, losing a ba by, even this early, is tragic and traumatic. But dont let guilt compond your misery-a miscarriage is not your fault. Do allow yourself to grieve, a necessary step in the healing process. Expect to be sad, even depressed for a while.
For some women, the best therapy is getting pregnant again as soon as it is safe. Most often, miscarriage is simply a random one time occurance caused by chromosomal abnormality, infection, chemical exposure, or chance and it not likely to recur. Repeat miscarriages ( more than 2 ) may be related to hormonal abnormalities in the mother.
Some studies have shown that women actually have a higher than normal fertility rate in the first 3 cycles following a first trimester loss.
Happily, the chances are excellent that next time around you'll have a normal pregnancy and a healthy baby. Most women who have had one miscarriage do not miscarry again. In fact, a miscarriage is an assurance that your capable of concieveing, and the great majority of women who loose a pregnancy this way go on to a complete one.So after reading that, and many other articles online, and responses from girls who had experience, I am VERY hopeful.
There is just another angel in heaven working on giving us the gift of life. The good thing is, we know that I can get pregnant very easily on drugs! I just cant wait to try again.
Thank you everyone for your emails, posts, and messages for Nick and I. I've had so many its hard to respond to everyone individually. But each and everyone has made a world of a difference to me. Thank you for takign the time out to help support me. Its hard going through this alone, without a spouse to turn to for comfort, without family..with no close friends nearby.
But I will get through this and we will get a sticky BFP!
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