i can be so extreme sometimes.

it's so easy to end something. one insensitive reply, one rash move, one wrong decision. once it happens, it seems tt nothing more can be done. coz it has ended.. n everything we do reminds us over and over again that we can't turn time back..

dun worry, nothing has happened. it was just the ending of the concubine show, the ending of channel u's 4 years, the ending of this year. suddenly, I let my emotions flow...

accumulation hides what is beneath, until the bottom breaks down and collapses
such times, are actually countable..

painting a beautiful picture over a ruined backdrop... smiling while e other holds back tears... openings that start on the closure of an ending... but openings are hard to begin with in the first place. The amount of hard work, effort and foresight have to first be considered.. it's so difficult to write a good opening to anything, that we often write, dispose, rewrite, dispose and rewrite again...

So will we know when to stop throwing away our openings? i don't know.. on the surface we welcome each and every one of them to give a good start to our new beginnings... we start with countdowns and celebrations, like what we r goin to see on the streets tonite.. cheers, confetti... but this yr's abit different...e new year mood isn't there for many..

our endings, our openings. which is the one that we want to welcome and which is the one that we want to say good-bye to..? but yes, regardless of what I can or can't tell, perhaps we shld always leave behind the bad and look towards the good...

move on... life is continuous, stop to rest but not to sit around..
sincerely wishing all people a happy and better New Year!!

it was a feeling of true happiness i realise...

okie.. maybe i shld ask myself first... do i really know so much abt this world that i can conclude tt i felt true happiness? but really, last nite I experienced it when i was out for dinner with class peeps..it was really really great to see almost everyone together once again.. with mdm toh..altho it had only been a few weeks since we last gathered tog. got a chance to chat at least once w every single classmate i have in 71..

n i thot, this time..
it's really the quantity, that counts as much as the quality

n indeed we spent alot of quality time together as a class..
taking photos, crapping, teasing each other,

gave eefung her calendar present (special acknowledgement: thank you jiemin!! for helping me n qr rush the calendar at harbourfrnt.. haha really appreciate it much =)),

walking round n round harbourfront jus in search of a toilet (w e 'help' of misleading directions frm e signs -_-), and the typical 71 type of waiting around...=P

trainride to city hall with tian and jj trying to be funny, taking candid photos of us sitting in a row... =D ,

to esplanade, to e roof garden, photos...and back home..
den me and ee fung were exclaiming at how good the turnout for esplanade was.. the first time =).. was a pity tt the sky was cloudy... cant star-gaze as much as we wanted to..

time passes so quickly when u r enjoying yourselves rite? =)
but it's a blessing to feel this way, rather than wishing that every second of your time will drag past more quickly...

Is it bcoz of e donations.. that make everything seem more meaningful?

I miss everyone...and really let's meet up every july 1st... our class bday...

haha long live 03s71
thanks so much for adding to the colours in my life.. there's a little something to remember each of you by.. little gestures, expressions, and kou tou chan.. n thanks for being so warm n friendly towards me.. so much so that i feel "welcomed" every time i see you all.. hahha..

take care everyone...=)

(sidenote: feel like sulking =/ coz i cant view the photos in yahoogroups.. got error group check... darno wad tt is...=/)

listening to an old song "ai qing zhuan wan de di fang"... found it really nice... =))

a pink umbrella is staring at me now.. haha.. wad i talking? 2004 is drawing to a close.. n 2005 cant wait to come into our lives... as inevitable as some things may be, i really hope tt less disasters'll happen next yr...tt more pple'll live happily n healthily... tt more prayers'll be answered... tt things and pple around us'll be much more appreciated...

asking for too much? but i thot it's just right

"Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
'Tis the season to be jolly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la"

.......

i never knew wad came after that... hahaha..

Merry christmas!!!
think i'm goin to slack my christmas day away... =P n enjoying it tooo... time to catch up on vcds.. yay!

u noe it's really really hard to be a housewife? u need good judgement n luck... e pain of judgin the weather wrongly n den having to rush madly to bring e clothes in... u need patience n concentration, u cant be distracted by e tv while u r cooking.. n u need creativity too.. hahaa

sorry digressed alot..

anw... last nite.. had steamboat at home..tried out nice new soupbase.. hehe den went to e christmas celebrations at indoor stadium organised by city harvest church...i duno if it's wrong to say this, but i thot e turnout was amazing.. such tt we had to queue for 1/2 hr b4 getting seats at e side facing e opposite sides of e gigantic screens -_-''reading lyrics backwards.. coz all e other 3 sides were completely filled..enjoyed myself tho i tink i cldn't feel e same way as e others do towards e real meaning of christmas... amm was there too =)later went to fill stomach again..den when i alighted e mrt at bishan... e clock struck twelve.. n (haha no i din drop my glass slipper -_- wah lame)..pple started shouting "merry xmas" to one another!! (cldn't tell it was in e train or on e platform)hahaaa... just had a wonderful xmas eve last nite =)) maybe i shld keep an account of all e special xmas nights.. or bdaes.. so tt time cant wash these memories away =P


* * * * * * * * * * *

still qt tired after genting trip.. haha n my sleeping hours haf become qt irregular.. sleep at 2+ wake up at 12 0_0.. but hahaa it was fun on e whole!!

21/12/04

woke up feeling groggy.. on jiali's bed.. her dad drove jiali, me , ys n uncle denn to golden mile..13 frens..small commotion abt having xiao peng you photo in passports..long sleepy bus rides w cards...a not-v-nice-15RM-lunch halfway there..e view out of e window getting mistier n mistier as e bus followed e winding road up...resort hotel instead of hotel 1st world =)..room w ys zz xn..shopped arnd aimlessly hehe..haunted adventure (not scary coz was in e middle of e grp n hence was not pounced at, unlike uncle, who was n thus he scared me hahaa).. a quite ex-not-v-worthwhile buffet dinner for e gals..trooping upstairs for cards, cute naughty kent n his cousin zz.. den went to walk walk outside.. nice cooling misty feeling.. took blurry n funny photos here n there.. xn n cheesecakes..found out e right way of enjoying it.. sleeeep (for me)

22/12/04

8 woke up by e soft sound of an alarm clock which zz claimed was v loud... haha.. ate dim sum breakfast... weather too misty all outdoor rides closed.. disappointed but went for cable car,indoor rides, archery instead.. haha like ferris wheel where we met this really adorable, friendly baby boy.. =) shared a half-chicken meal at kenny rogers...yum, mist cleared..went on e spinning, "adult merry go round", swing-like ride w a bloated stomach.. luckily din puke..=) queues n more queues.. corkscrew, e roller coaster ride, heart dropped out when we zoomed down.. funnily 360 degrees din feel like anything scary.. more rides.. sampan dinosaurland.. accidentally broke specs.. blur-blur followed e others around..dinner at jap restaurant.. blur-blur karaoke w qt female songs to choose frm..cards.. zzzzzzzzz =D

23/12/04

ate wanton noodles.. n took many photos.. =) long, disturbing ride downhill.. bot some tu chan home...sleeep n bridge... confusing everyone w my unthinking bridge tactics.. oops sorry...wrong decision abt not goin toilet.. jam at causeway.. mrt w uncle.. optician..home.. dinner =))


* * * * * * * * *

everything became foggy.. n e road standing before me was unclear, uncertain, n kinda unwilling too..when i lost my sense of sight, i seemed to have lost my sense of hearing too. never realised e importance n value until i saw others with it.. regret? disappointment? or missing its presence? whichever it is, somewhere inside me feels cold.. not because of other pple but because i knew how much i wanted it with me..

road stll foggy.. but my sense of hearing's back.. n all i know is tt i'm really happie to welcome it back =)

hungry... shall go eat lunch!





this white xmas tree looks so fluffy!!!

went to play captain's ball w e class pple =) really fun, tho we din get into finals (n subsequently lost interest in knowing who won.. haha)... n xn's church's pple r so nice n friendly... =) such tt i found myself to be not very sociable. oh wells... =) bad thing was sharon had a bad fall =(... but melinda came to cheer us on too!
later goin over to jiali's hse to stayover for e night =)...luckily her mum says she doesn't mind or else i'll haf to go book cab at 5am.. 0_0 haha... yeah so tmr going genting w the class pple... hope we'll all haf a great time!! =D after genting, it'll be christmas!! suddenly feels v cheerful...lalala

i'm such a mommy's child i realise...ok it's jus goin to be 3 weeks... 3 weeks later i'll emerge as a much grown-up person.. hahaa

christmas's coming!!! but i tink i'm goin to be so late in sending out xmas cards...

on e way home...

there was a middle-aged man walking in frnt of me. If it wasn't for his walking stick, i wldn't haf known tt he's blind. not wanting to try overtaking him, i followed closely behind..tic-tic-tic went his walking stick... felt qt worried tt he mite walk straight into e mud left over frm constructions work, or tt he mite trip over somewhere. but he didn't, n he walked confidently w a sense of purpose n direction.. n later when i looked back, he was still alright, tho abit slow...

i noe we shldn't attempt to feel a sense of pity for e "less fortunate".. coz they r pple like us... but naturally admiration grows for them... maybe they do have hidden anxieties tt we outsiders do not see, but at least they seem to noe more about e world than some of us out here... is speed important...? do our pre-conceived ideas about how things may turn out really true...? looking at those shang ban zu rushing across the mrt platform scares me.. do they really noe what they want out of their lives... besides not being late for work?

ya perhaps i'm scared... scared of e unknown.. scared of e future... scared of everything.. perhaps all e "sensible advice" i had ever given in e past are all crap...feel like a rotten person....

read somewhere that: imagine u have a clone, but ur clone has an undesirable quality/character that u do not possess. what do you think it may be?

..
..

the quality u've chosen is the one that u urself actually hav, but is often sumthing u try to hide or refuse to admit all the time

...

but whatever...
the sun continues to shine tomorrow

it's better to be optimistic huh? =)

new midi... ^_^

night deep human silent

(ye4 shen1 ren2 jing4)

hahaz, i duno y on earth i'm online now... jus dun feel like sleeping. was qt bored, so started to anyhow blog-surf... one thing tt i know but always do not fail to amaze me again n again is that how different people's personalities are... n there's a tendency for people to "make themselves more depressed than ever"... but then again, logic does not always come into good use and sometimes, you realise that it's possible to have either 2 answers or none at all... anything but e one answer that u hope will turn out to be the correct one... is man is born selfish, n so being selfless is a v v hard n high level to attain..??

was counting the months i'll be working next yr (if i can get a job immediately when i start searching seriously at e start of Jan)... then i'll be working for only 5 mths coz june'll be spent on a well-deserved summer hols!! (w some of the future newly earned salary!) looking forward to goin overseas for a while, or maybe i shld haf pestered my parents more.. haha nvm lah.. i still can go travel arnd e world hopefully in my next 20-30 yrs?? haha tho i tink it's qt cute e way retired senior citizens go on tours.. =) anw i wanted to say tt, working 1/2 a yr sounds better than working for 5 mths to an employer? hmmm....

getting late... shld go n get some sleep... goin to challenge myself tmr... haha 0_0

long time neva online liao... =)

tdy went to job-hunt with huimin n xinyi early in e morning... n found out how difficult it is to find a good temporary job w/o the help of any recruitment agency... =( n some pple give u really bad responses.. haha we can jus tell them "we can offer even better service than you" if we ever get jobs like theirs... no wonder e news say tt service standards r dropping... aiyo, surely this is not e kind of attitude u wan to show to ur customers on one bright sunny morning? tsk tsk..

anw one of e most challenging of all our attempts was to search for this company offering admin/customer service job... found out tt it was somewhere in an industrial park near hougang... coz e blur us got off e bus late (a kind elderly uncle told us tt we missed our stop.. really thanked him alot)... n den ended up walking like what seemed like 4km... -_-''' on a really ulu n deserted road w no female pedestrians in sight (ok exaggerating abit)... until we finally reached e place... abit old lehz. n tho e employees were nice to us, giving us application forms n stuff... e boss was like eee... din like him. n he din like us either i presumed.. haha either we looked too young or inexperienced... oh well. haha. anw e company's name called Pest Man.. -_-'' shld be a pest control company but.. well it kinda fits e description of.. haha... better not say anymore... later get sued..

leg pain liao. evidence of no exercise in e hols haha. turning back time.. hmm prom was on wed =) e programme was better than wad i expected.. n i tot tt e ambience was jus nice... tho e lights were abit dark for photo-taking, which was e most fun part of prom i guess =) n everybody looked so good tt night!! felt kinda envious... e class gals looked so stunning!!! almost cant recognise some of them from far =D so had a nice time admiring mei nus.. (i wonder how e guys felt.. LOL) haha n of coz e guys look great too... hee cant wait to develop e many photos!!! den aft prom, me n qr went up to siaohui's class's hotel room... n took photos! e room was qt grand leh... for $200+.. n we even sat beside e giant bath tub.. haha... e night scenery was breathtaking too... den we stayovered at mich's hse... n did nothing much lah.. tink most of e class peeps were too tired to stay up... discovered 2 symtoms of extreme tiredness : 1)stoned look 2)behaviour extremely high... =)bad ending to it all was i puked my whole mac's breakfast out when i got home.. mus haf been too bloated while taking bus.. but all i cld tink of was e $$$ flushed down e drain.. wad a waste!!! yikes...

thurs was spent sleeping n watching hk drama again... an interesting n thought-provoking show abt conflicts n competition btw concubines in e Forbidden City jus to win e favour of e Emperor... qt scary..e way they plot n schemed. n it also talked abt guessing the minds of others.. hmm it's similar to wad happens in e workplace rite? nice,nice!! tink ps wld love watching this kind of shows lots..=).. on fri... went to my mum's fren's hse to.... play w dog!!.. it's a Schnauzher (how to spell??) like entian's Wallie... only tt it's mostly black... called nicky i tink!..so guai n loyal.. following his owner arnd.. haha. den met this other my mum's fren n her son, who also studied at hc.. but i never knew him b4... wanjun's fren =). anw my mum's fren stared at me... n said i dun look like a "hong-kong-gal".. haha. duno whether to feel sad anotz.. coz tink like wad some pple know, Hk got many chio gals who noe how to dress stylishly n yet not look like they r following e trend blindly.. blehz. nvm loh.. haha. but truly enuf, i dun look like i was frm overseas huh? haha... was as surprised as xn when she found out qt recently tt i wasn't born in s'pore.. hmmm den a few days back went to kbox w eunice for e 1st time... n sang all e cantonese songs available there.. haha i love e duets!! so nice!! n i luv singing e guy's parts of e songs.. hahaha..

so long... blog again next time!! =)

outing became an "inting".. but equally wonderful =) thanks, my best fren.. haha.. we both paying tribute to each other... *goosebumps*

anw.. i tried searching for answers to my qns... so e final decision... was the same old words... wait and see =) like i read somewhere b4, u can only completely forget something when u have forgotten the day in which u were trying hard to forget that something. Confusing? but very true...

a few days more to prom... am i excited? haha.. DARNO (quote: entian.. haha i miss seeing the class)

found out y i felt hot n thirsty whole day... haiz. phoned amm juz now.. felt v bad for postponing our outing..duno if i can make it for tmr... =( take care everyone... e weather's terrible

these few days had been qt eventful :) shopped for e last of e prom stuff like makeup.. i decided tt i hate e job of buying makeup, u can never be sure tt it'll look nice on u..(haiz alot of $$ down e drain too..), went to sit above e fountain of wealth n chat, swimming, e shutter... :) tho sometimes hols seemed to be filled w..abit of emptiness? i guess it's natural... but some things jus left me very confused...duno y...den sometimes to push such thots out of my mind, i go to my mum.. not to talk about anything in particular, but i tink somehow even listening to her talk abt her daily encounters... i feel better. like she's e one who brings me back down to earth when i feel like i'm floating arnd aimlessly...

these few days she was saying abt not being able to find a "zhi4 tong2 dao4 he2" companion... n how "shallow" some of her frens r becoming as time allows her to know them better...e.g. gossiping behind pple's backs, abandoning old frens for new ones bcoz of some short-term advantages...i guess nothing beats frens who haf been w u for like more than a decade, tt u cant even rem e days when u n them were not frens yet... :) i also guess tt friendship n family r e two most impt things in my life...even if tt means tt i dun put much into my career. wad kind of person am i? definitely not someone who's ambitious or has big plans for e future... amm said tt i'm a "people" person...which i tot was partly true... i like having my frens n family arnd me more than anything, living each day the way it turns out by itself.. but i cant get along w jus anybody.. n thus i guess sometimes i appear strange? haha.

oh well.. seem to be crapping alot... but sometimes i feel tt u wun noe how u feel till something happens to u.. n not matter how much mental preparation u try to put in... in e end things are jus... well different. i tink it's best for me to find a job soon (only tt i'm so lazy) n quit thinking abt e future in a round-about way.. coz somehow life has its own surprises... n i do believe in fate, not in destiny..

haha din receive any mail frm e moe person... =( n i seriously haf to brush up my piano theory... they r so rusty i'm like ashamed of myself... gotta go :P

slacking arnd at home now... waiting for lj..haha...

i bot my prom dress! like finally hoh. e person was like telling u can wear long gowns one lah if u wear some high heels... but being e klutsy person i am.. i decided against it.. (cld feel tt e salesgirl was trying to be nice ahha =P)(i can still rem e painful experience of wearing court shoes/high heels for job-shadowing at a law firm in my sec sch days... so many blisters!) anw,
tried to go jogging dis morning really not jog for a little distance already feel myself running out of breath.. how lousy? haha i tot amm says "shopping is exercise" ^_^''

got a new midi!!.. tink it's quite nice.. tho i haven heard e actual song yet... haha. tried reading e lyrics.. it's abt a girl regretting not treasuring this v good guy till it's too late... so e title's called " ai4 guo4 wo3 de hao2 ren2". sounds typical but e last few phrases said "xi3 jiu4 yan4 xin1"... usually we talk abt pple being "xi3 xin1 yan4 jiu4"..? if such a day comes.. it'll be qt sad rite?

anw.. if u r a guy, wad wld u do if another guy keeps pestering ur gf? keep sending her sms n waiting for her at places.. hmmm if it's me, i'll go bash him up.. muahaha -_-''. but really, tho u can say tt it's fair competition, i still tink tt somehow it's wrong.. morally?

hehe... i figured out something..(or maybe i shld haf long ago) tt if i go out only on alternate days n stay at home on other days... i wun tire myself so easily! -_-''

anw.. yesterday went shopping loh... was kinda amazed at e *abundant supply of accessories of all kinds on jus e 1st floor of isetan... either coz i usually walk pass w/o peeking my head in or.. they really have alot on sale now.. hahaz. sy kept exclaiming at almost every blue earring/pendant (tho i like blue too =)), den sj was looking for a necklace to match her "dirty-green-colour-dress". huimin tried to introduce some "cat-earrings" to me (which wasn't farnie at all ^_^)amm found sumthin nice too, but later when i saw e one she kan4 zhong4 in heeren... had to agree tt e "more-ex" one is more special. funny. i realise i seldom buy things when i go for shopping.. it's alwiz try try try den put down. haha i bet e salespeople hate customers like me. but oh well, there r alwiz e pleasures of window shopping... n somehow if i relate it to "kokology" (more on it later), it reflects accurately some of my values in life.. interesting!!

aiyo...elaborated such alot on jus this. hee. had a not-very-full-lunch.. den it was shop shop shop...saw some beautiful crystals n stones..clothes..den neoprints!!! hahas.. i wish we din delete away e xmas hat!! aiyo.. sy lah...so sensitive.. tot tt i was irritated coz there was no space on e sofa left for me so i sat in frnt?? no lah.. was jus kidding wad. n u made sure u exchanged places w me later... blehz.. so nice to me huh?? =)

den.. walk walk walk.. to OG.. din get to use hm's discount card.. waste ur efforts liao oops. but haah i tot e fitting room was kinda farnie.. we all squeezed in den there was these 2 curtains drawn closed. had to shout "anybody there"... only one auntie answered. so of coz we tot e other wasn't occupied.. but luckily we din open e other one coz somebody came out in time.. ahh. tried on some prom dresses.. got one amm n hm say qt nice.. but i guess i'll come again n see again if i cant find any at other places...:) got many nice shoes tt's suitable for prom.. but aiyo.. i wun pay over $50 jus for a pair of heels tt i mite toppled over in...

oh yah.. e macs person found us really weird when me n sy ordered one large coke n two cups of plain water... -_-''' n it tasted like water frm e dentist's larh.. really wan to play zhong ji mi ma?!.. den somehow resting made us even more tired.. haha. influenced by me isit? den instead of shopping more, went to kino.. haven read a good bk for ages.. hid in e children's section..tt's where amm led me into e world of kokology...



Kokology: The Game of Self-Discovery


FROM THE PUBLISHER
Created by a famous Japanese psychologist, kokology is the study of kokoro ("mind" or "spirit" in Japanese). Based on sound psychological principles, Kokology asks you to answer questions about seemingly innocent topics -- such as the color of an imaginary bird that has flown in your window -- and then reveals what your answers say about you. Kokology offers a unique approach to self-discovery and, when played with others, can provide hilarious insight into the you that they never knew.


haha it's like personality tests.. but somehow it's rather accurate. or maybe i'm a predictable person...? den sometimes u r amazed at wad e analysis tells u. maybe abt sumthin inside u tt u din noe or din wan to admit.. not bad!!

e rest had to go off early..they got e standard chartered marathon briefing thingy..had pastamania.. met lijuan in j8... den aft tt met amm's mum.. n went to amm's hse to dye hair!! =D felt really thankful to her mum, for putting in so much effort n patience. really, one of e highlights of e day was when she decided to add in some highlights to my hair too.. n bro also had a nice haircut n highlight.. all e more will be mistaken for being a couple by pple on e streets -__-'''' wo cai bu yao... hahaha... den coz dad went to e "technifair" at expo n bot a digicam =P..when we got home he was testing e camera on us n e new hairstyles... :)

qt a happy day... n a happy nite to end it off too.. wow i luv hols... at this moment!

oh well...how? i alwiz seem to make pple worried.. aiya, i wish things aren't like this. but see? i can bounce back really fast! :)

anw.. it's e very FIRST day of hols...spending my morning in a really silly way..almost got blew off by e wind when i woke up... somehow it was so cold.. aft brushing teeth, i plopped down on e sofa n started watching some funny hk drama in my pyjamas -_-'' it was really cold... din plan to do anything tdy... mebbe i'll go see tt weird doc again... (sharon:haha) den go buy some stuff..haf crystal jade aftnoon tea? YAY...come home laze summore... wahh haven done tt for ages.. hehe... den tmr can stay out w e silly bunch =) hopefully can find a nice prom dress. urghz i hate my hair, it's like a bush... u noe it's v satisfying to see all those unneccesary hair fall down to a heap on e ground..? mus go for a haircut.

hehz had a good time yesterday watching e incredibles...(which was really farnie.. esp nearing e end)n kbox..(y ili noe us so well ^_^)n w sw taking photos w all e xmas lights n deco... pple haf white xmas, we had a wet xmas?? still a mth away.. anw felt abit bad when e rest accompanied me to e bus stop.. no next time ok?? i dun haf enuf $$ to reward all of u... hahaz...

saw a nice mtv recently... it was qt a new song by andy lau.. called "An Mo Nu Lang" (Massage lady= massage gal)..it had a nice story to go w it.. let's see if i can still rem...


* * * * * * * * * *

One night, an attractive woman in her late 20s boarded a taxi. She had heavy make-up on, n after telling e taxi-driver her destination, she started talking non-stop on her handphone. Soon, she was whispering sweet little nothings to e other party in a flirtatious way. The taxi-driver drove on non-chalantly. Both of them, were just making a living out there.

As MassageGal talked on w her 'client', she fingered e necklace arnd her neck playfully. The pendant was silver, with a ribbon shape smilar to e Anti-drug Abuse Badge. The shiny silver caught e attention of Taxi-driver, who happened to look at e front mirror at tt time..

(flashback)

Two teens were cycling home after school... The girl's ribbon-shaped pendant shined in e sunlight. The boy cycled behind her, smiling happily at her. They stopped by some trees and closed their eyes, enjoying e peace arnd them..

* * *
Taxi-driver broke out into a knowing smile, but he did not say anything. MassageGal has reached her destination.

Another nite. MassageGal was taking a ride in Taxi-driver's cab again. This time, MassageGal noticed a long, conspicuous scar on Taxi-driver's left hand. And the taxi-driver was drumming his fingers subconsciously on the steering-wheel...

(flashback)
The girl cleverly disguised the hideous scar on the boy's hand by painting a henna on it. The boy lovedplaying with drums and the girl played the guitar well. They played together, laughing happily. But one day, the girl told the boy tt she's goin overseas to learn playing e guitar properly. The boy's devastated, but he did not say anything.

* * * *

MassageGal smiled knowingly and touched the plaster on her index finger. She has reached her destination and she got out of the taxi. The name-card sitting in e taxi read "Liu Yong Ming".

* * * *

Before leaving, the girl shouted across the woods "Liu Yong Ming'll become a famous drummer!". The boy followed by shouting "You will be a successful guitarist!"

* * * *

Taxi-driver knocked on e window pane. He smiled n handed out a red packet to MassageGal. He says, "Here. Wish you well." MassageGal smiled again n accepted it before walking away.. Taxi-driver drove on...


(The End)


Everyone has his/her own aspirations. We may or may not realise them in e end, but they will stay unforgotten. Taxi-driver n MassageGal did not reveal to each other their identities after losing touch for so long. Perhaps they wanted to leave some pride n good memories in each other?

Anw, Taxi-driver was acted by Andy Lau n MassageGal was an actress whose name i forgot.. hehez

wooo hoooo
exams R OVER!!!

hahaha... well, almost... bio mcq.. aiya, i've got time to complete e whole tys over e next 2 days... wow i sound almost... confident?! *appalled look*

haha. sounding abit too hyper n silly...blehz. keep meeting shiyun n xinyi on 852 during these exam days.. v happie. coz i'm a clown to pple like peishan n shiyun hahaa.. makes me feel v fortunate, to entertain/annoy them n oso to self-entertain..coz tt's jus so-me...=) bhb n lame n noisy... never lacking in topics to discuss abt.. tho i'm not sure if e feeling's mutual? haha.. so m i abit selfish to them in tt sense? anw.. cant wait to enjoy our hols tog.. starting w outing w e class pple on thurs.. movie+kbox?? yay~


(gets more serious)

* * * * * * * * * *
some things, u tend to do them out of habit...

actually i had alot of things to blog abt last wk... jus tt e feeling of coming online n goin offline in a rush din feel right.. when i was studying, my mind often wandered abt.. strangely i was thinking in english, as if i'm blogging.. in e past i used to blog when days turned out to be bad n i din feel like confiding in anyone.. n i had a stupid assumption tt perhaps if i wrote more, my gp mite improve (-_-'').. obviously it remained as only an assumption.. now i'm so used to blogging tt my fingers itch to type sumthin.. hehe.i enjoy blogging! only bad thing is tt nothing's a secret online..

I wonder how much time pple use to 'plan n write' wad they wan to blog on?? i'm qt slow.. sometimes even taking 1 h?


* * * * * * * * * *

sometimes, pple intrigue us. from them, we get e feeling that, no matter how we try, we can never understand how their minds work? similarly, these pple think secretly to themselves, how come nobody understands how we feel?

Different frequencies?

but e more i tink abt it, there r really some instances tt we cant possibly console pple by claiming tt "yes, i understand how u feel".. unless we haf e exact same kind of experience or encounter.. to others, this person is either "thinking too much" or simply "too hard on him/herself", but to the person, e problem may be a gigantic one. their original ability to think rationally has vanished out of existence.. perhaps they already know tt the woods tt they r venturing uncertainly into, 'll engulf them in darkness, out of the reach of rest of e world, but yet they continue walking on..

perhaps e tiniest bit of light in there is enough to spur them on..

we, being the outsiders, try to stop all these from happening. but did it work? did they listen? y din they listen? should they haf listened? if we pull them back, wld it haf done any good?

pple w/o e pillar of support tt they've grown dependent on.. can they revert back to their lives quickly? suddenly, they feel lifeless, as they've floated out of themselves.. looking back w sadness n hurt.. it'll take time, but time hurts too?

it'll be pretty scary to discover some unknown secret abt someone u thot u knew inside out rite? but even if u noe, wad'll u do?

or maybe as frens, support them in wadever decision they may make? the warmth of external encouragement and support do lessen e harshness of any outcome, but often pity comes on more strongly than sympathy...

which brings back e qn of "do we really understand how they feel"?
I guess e ans's not..
so shld we think carefully b4 we even say "wo liao jie ni de gan shou?" to others?


* * * * * * * * *

i said alot hoh? hmmm maybe coz i've been puzzled over this..since some time ago. like how pple seem to over-react..over things tt i consider super-trivial n "solvable", n how little value pple seem to put on things tt i thot r v v impt

y make things so complicated? almost every other conflict out there.. act boils down to sumthing v stoopid. wad dumbos.. fighting over nothing. hmm.. is tt a sweeping statement?

does anyone understand how i feel? hahhaaz
i'll stop at this then..

* * * * * * * * *

more grievances ahead.. (haha how long-winded)

about Singapore Idol

(hahaa.. i tink i read ili's blog long ago, n she said tt it shld be singaporean idol instead?)

ok let's admit tt i enjoy watching it..hehe
but there r really some v annoying things tt happened...

like e way they seemed (not sure) to show contempt for Chinese music n its industry... everyone noes tt it's filled w packaged stars tt count on young fans' support now, but wasn't it e same case for other music industries at some other point of time too? like e english boyband era during our upper pri sch generation... n there r good n bad songs in all industries... how can u generalise jus lidat? esp. when u cant possibly grow up w/o listening to them. it's popular music mah... n they r pleasant to e ears...

isn't tt a basic requirement of music? u can put e best of everything into one song, n it can still sound horrible..

like e judges seemed to be objective, but they were subjective w their one-liners n tones.. y is it alwiz tt they seemed to concentrate all bad comments like "tt was e worse rendition of tt song i've ever heard of/tt was an awful performance" on only 1 person, e person they predict wld be kicked out tt wk? (haha.. like jerry ong? how come these kind of comments din surface during e selections for final 30?) how can something be jus good or bad?

anw e sound system's qt bad (do u call it acoustics? =P)when olinda was singing dun cry for me argentina.. e accompaniment sounded so.. unsteady? weird? like u wun noe when to come in (but she knew haha).. sounded like somebody's hammering on e poor piano

tink taufik's really good.. hope he wins! sylvester oso not bad lah.. but maybe he's more natural playing in his rock band?

hahaa... relieving my stress now... stress makes one feel grouchy n moody huh?? lots of complaints... =S sorry sorry..

shall make good use of e net today!! ...doing nothing much.. ^_^ so long.. tata!

海阔天空
BEYOND
(sigh.. how to change to chi characters? somehow cant change e encoding lehz)

* 今天我 寒夜里看雪飘过
怀着冷却了的心窝漂远方
风雨里追赶 雾里分不清影踪
天空海阔你与我 可会变 (谁没在变)

多少次 迎着冷眼与嘲笑
从没有放弃过心中的理想
一刹那恍惚 若有所失的感觉
不知不觉已变淡 心里爱 (谁明白我)

Chorus
原谅我这一生不羁放纵爱自由
也会怕有一天会跌倒 背弃了理想
谁人都可以 那会怕有一天只你共我

Repeat *
# 仍然自由自我 永远高唱我歌
走遍千里
Repeat #

A very very old song...n a very nice song indeed. was listening to it.. quite heartwarming.. or maybe u can say, saddening...hmmm

I kinda miss going out of the house...
Jiayou everyone who's muggin for As.. (who's not -_-'')

I have a dream...


ever since a long time ago.. maybe it first started w this series of storybooks abt a young dancer goin to all parts of Europe to perform...was fascinated by descriptions of both e city life and countryside..(thanks to my limited knowledge of how europe is like) haven thrown away these books yet.. haha

n maybe these days, under e influence of e scenery captured in jay chou n stefanie sun's mv...my mind began to wander abt again subconcsiously..I want to go...

to Paris.. to some, the most romantic city in e world... e place where perhaps everyone drink wine like it's water..to see the churches n cathedrals...the art musuems (even tho i noe almost nothing abt art...) Eiffel Tower..(n maybe to see e real "Pompidou"...LOL) n of coz e Palace of Versailles... w its beautiful architecture n lush gardens...fountains..sounds so lovely (frm books n pictures)...maybe go find a pic now..








(credits to: http://users.stargate.net)

ok i found 3.. haha choices, choices (urghz remind of e nightmare of gp.. shant tok abt it =P)



(credits to: http://www.alltravelswitzerland.com)

to Switzerland... hmmm i can only think of Swiss Chocolates now... (yummmy!) there's where e Swiss Alps are? the little villages n villas hidden in e mountains...the calmness n serenity of e valleys n lakes tt'll sparkle n shine (i tink)... how absolutely beautiful it'll be... sighz... :)



(credits to: http://www.westland.net)

to Italy... maybe to Venice... one of e few unique charming cities in e world..e wishing fountain i saw in dis HK pilot drama...e bridges over e many rivers/canals...if it's in e evening.. i guess it'll feel even more magical...

haiz..feel like i'm in wonderland... n i'm having lots of fun loooking at photos hahaz. n i feel like i'm a walking advertisement for tourism in Europe.. =) why i'm so captivated wif this thot i duno, like how some things cant be explained. like how some things u cant push out of ur mind no matter how hard u try...

perhaps tt's e only thing i can do now... to keep this dream alive... i'll continue to feed it with little snippets of wad i noe... until it grows n matures..in another 10 yrs or so..

..into reality =)

Meanwhile.. i'll wait.. patiently



*******************************

it's raining v heavily... e weather's so unpredictable these days.. rem to bring umbrella when u go out haha...

jus realised tt e sight of raindrops jus hitting softly onto e ground... is actually quite pretty.. like little fountains..

time to get back to muggggging mode ^_^''''

wish list:

Osim "Massaging Armchair" =O

feeling worn out... one of those days.. tt ur body feels like it had been beaten up two days in a row.. maybe eating more'll help replenish some of that much-needed energy...=/


but there's summer scent OST to listen to =))


04. Ojjomyon (Maybe) - So JinYoung
(also credit: aheeyah.com)

nah eo jjeo myon jeuh ah yo
jah kku tah shin shen kak eu nah nyeo yo
nae kah eu rah myeon ahn doi neun de
nae mahm eul nah du mu leu ke sseo yo

Maybe it is a good thing
At least it feels that way when I think of you
I don't want it to be this way
I don't even understand my own true feelings


nae kah ae ee reo nah yo
jah kku tah seen ee bo ko she ne yo
jeo mahl ee rah myeon ahn doi neun de
nae mahm ee jah kku heun deul ree ne yo

Why do I feel like this?
I always want to see you
I don't want it to really be this way
But my heart is always trembling



*CHORUS*
yae ee je seo ya nae ke wan nah yo
neo mu nah keu dae reul keu dah ryeo neun de
ee je seum kee jee ahn eel rae yo
kah seum ee she kee neun dae ro eon je kkah she

Why did you come to me?
I waited for you for so long
I won't hide it
And will always open my heart wide for you


keu de reul sah rah hae yo
I love you


ee jae keok jeo mahl ah yo
ee rahh ke nae gah kyeo ee jen ah yo
nah du meel kee jee ahn neu mahn keum
neo mu nah kee dae woh nae nee kkah yo

So don't be afraid
Now that you are beside me
I still can't believe it
I want you so much

* Repeat


ee reon ke sah rah ee yon geun yo
bah ro ee ke sah rah ee yon sun geun yo

It was love
Love the way that love should be


kke chan ah yo geon jeo mahl ah yo
nae gah dah shin eul jee kyeo jul kke yo
ee je nah eo dee e do kah jee ahn ah yo
ee rahh ke dah shin gaht e seo eon jah kkah je
sum she ko ee sseul kke yo

Its okay, don't worry
I'll look after you
Sometimes I'm not with you
But when ever I'm with you
I can breathe


=)

hope lj'll let off some of her stress... jiayou gal.. u r almost there!! qr too..lots of luck everyone =D

A voice of his own

was flipping thru a "The Toastmaster" mag lying arnd at home..


"Imagine a world in which unexpected sounds r amplified to an ear-splitting pitch, n new experiences r a constant source of panic n confusion. Where faces r practically unrecognizable, their expressions unreadable; n even looking at ur own face in e mirror makes u uncomfortable..."


This is e world of Matt Ward, a Toastmaster member afflicted wif autism.

met a few autistic individuals in e past.. mostly they were parents' frens' children.. rem vaguely tt i din noe how to interact wif them (or perhaps i wasn't v outgoing) they seem to be in a world of their own n they dun seem to respond to wad pple say. but... actually they R in e same part of e world we r living in.. not in outer space..

if all autistic pple share e same view as above, i guess having to face other "normal pple" every single day is really a chore n not jus a challenge for them.. if pple in dis fast-paced society keep moving arnd him in a whirl, if pple keep shooting strange expressions at them, if pple keep bombing at them questions tt had never occurred to them b4...

how wld u feel if u r one of them?
it's no wonder tt they may feel withdrawn frm this society.


"A lot of my classmates tot i was retarded bcoz I looked n acted kind of weird. but i didn't noe they tot tt, bcoz i cldn't tink abt them"

Autistic pple often haf special talents in e.g. maths, science, linguistic skills..other hobbies.. n they prefer to be alone to pursue these interests..but like us, they do haf emotions, only tt they dun haf such a large variety of them. (which is good to an extent, u cant tink too much) i guess reading widely allows some of them to discover e complexity of human nature n emotions.. but they cant relate to them, except the closeness they may feel towards their family, who've been supportive of them ever since young...

i jus wonder... sometimes we ourselves may be in a state of panic n confusion..n there r times when looking at ur own face makes u uncomfortable (urgh)... we arent that different aft all?? y shld we look at others thru colour filters, when (if it's possible) we take out our eyes n see for ourselves... how we r like ourselves?


haha jus some random tots....

p/s. anw if u r really really really v bored these days, try tuning to kids central (hahaha) every weekday at 1.30pm..to catch e baby/toddler version of looney tunes!!! happened to watch it last time... so cute!! esp. baby bugs bunny!!! =P

p/s. Tom n Jerry's not part of looney tunes rite? den where did they come frm??? haha

hmmm... usually right aft a paper, I wun haf much motivation to study for e next one... haha so lazy. ^_^'' bio prac tdy i guess was quite alright, except tt i pressed my calculator wrongly n ended wif wrong values for e chi square thingy... =( but nvm lah... shall not discuss it anymore, or else later discover more mistakes...

sighz, it's so boring.. to study everyday... (had e urge to throw away my bioprac notes.. haha but i figured tt they'll prove to be 'valuable' materials for any j1 out there)..hmm n i alwiz fail to concentrate properly during afternoons.. maybe instead of coping at home everyday, i shld try going to sch to study sometimes... maybe next wk? tink i shld start planning my schedule properly...

so since mugging was boring me to tears *again, i dug out some old mp3s tt were burnt into cds a few yrs back... amongst them was one really nice jpop compilation!!! really miss listenin to jpop quite alot... considerin tt my mind was almost alwiz on jap music way back in 2000, 2001... e days when MUSIC STATION (dis jap music variety show in which e singers perform live) was still broadcasted on ch8 at unearthly hours at 1am on thurs nites... (was really upset when ch8 decided to stop airing it... guess they tot tt nobody was watching... but of coz... 1am in e morning?!?! luckily i had my faithful old vcr w me.. hehe)

ever since korean stuff came into e music n drama scene n 'kicked' jap stuff out of this world, i've had little access to jpop...except perhaps hmv =( i love korean love songs, but i miss e unique sound of jap music.. 'poppish' but often there r some interesting new elements in them... haha shant bore u to tears too w details... haha..but yeah, i HAVE to mention this song.. tt was released in 2001 i tink... such a great upbeat song!!.. moderately fast beat.. n i rem their dance routine matched e song so well....so much style u jus haf to love it... esp. e opening music of e song... =) wonder if it can still be found on e net?


here goes....
JOUNETSU (passion) by Kinki Kids

'nakanaide...'
taisetsu na omou kara yume ni todokanai
jikan wa boku ga umete ageru

kanashikute hitomi o tojita mama ja
kono ai wa mienai
namida wa iranai kara asu e yukou

*jounetsu no honnou KIMI no te o ubatte
hashiri dashita nara mou tomarenai yo

ai o tsutaetai ima sugu tsutaetai
kawaru koto no nai hakanai kimochi o...

'hanasanai...'
hanashitaku wa ikara KIMI dake o mamotte
donna toki demo soba ni iru yo

itsu datte nakitaku nattara sugu ni
dakishime ni yuku kara
namida no wake o BOKU ni kikasete yo

jounetsu no honnou mou hitori janai yo
itsu mo itsu made mo KIMI o aishiteru

asu o shinjitai futaride shinjitai
owaru koto no nai yume o kanaeyou

jounetsu no honnou KIMI no te o ubatte
ugoki dashita kara mou tomaranai yo

ai o todoketai ima sugu todoketai
kawaru koto no nai afureru kimochi o
KIMI ni...


(got translations orh!)

sounds like i'm a crazy fan of kinki kids.. but i ain't lah.. everytime i recalled Tsuyoshi (Tang2 ben3 gang1-e guy who acted in Jin1 tian2 yi1)'s 'mop-like hairstyle', i feel like LOL...come to think of it, i never really had an idol b4... hmmm last time my frens ask me how come my expectations r so 'high'? but i tot if u wan to worship somebody, u mus really like him/her alot. so i guess developing a fondness for somebody needs time, understanding n a special connection (haha digress )

wad a long post..feeling v sleepy... partly coz i woke up in a frenzy in e middle of e nite by shouts n cries frm e next bedroom.. turned out tt somebody was having a nightmare (hahhaha wun disclose who was it...) but anw i din noe whether to laugh or cry..was incredibly exasperated at having to try falling asleep again, but also incredulously amused coz e shouts sounded like killing of chickens (sha1 ji1)muahaha... i'm so mean, maybe i'll dream of godzilla tonite... urghz

It was all in all... a very nice week... :)

goin to talk abt myself again... haha... sorry. coz it's a good form of destressing u noe.

Sometimes i'm surprised myself..at how little things are able to cheer me up... to e extent tt it feels as if i'm living for them to happen... a v. strange thought. pple say u haf to pursue ur own happiness n i do agree... but it's often tt i do doubt tt i'm doing e best thing.. perhaps i'm v happy-go-lucky, but deep down, i tink i'm sometimes a someone who's abit too emotional. i thoroughly enjoyed myself today in sch... coz w/o the revision lect n As stuff, e atmosphere within e class felt alot more relaxed. i like the feeling of seeing almost everyone in high spirits, laughing away as if there's no more As, no more worries, no more stress. even if it lasted for only a moment, within e 4 walls of E201 for half an hour.....like mdm toh said, "i wish i brought my camera.."

this period of time has been v hard on us, n will continue to do so. many of our teachers, tog with us, feel e pressure of e need to do wadever we can now. remedials, consultation... when i saw ms ng's timetable... she only had her sundays for her family day... all other days were packed w appointments with her students... "dates" fixed n cancelled... hopefully all our efforts'll pay off, n of coz they should n they will... =)

i duno if putting away troubles is a sign of escaping from them, . not thinking abt e As all the time... I'm not sure tt it's really a true reflection of myself, i'm not sure if i've haf reached e threshold of e amount of stress i can withstand. it sounds rather stupid to say tt i dun really noe wad to expect for e results of my A levels... there r alot of things weighing on our hearts now, there's really no more room for any more worries.... except to focus, n jus do wad we r capable of...

i guess we r all smart human beings, arent we?

wanna say thank u to 71 n my frens, not especially for anything, but jus for being there as examples of life...

me, watching e world go by.... jus now while having lunch w eefung, i suddenly tot of my 18 yrs on Earth, how different experiences haf helped to shape me into e person i am. so many things haf happened... this 2 yrs of jc life, probably (kinda ironically) is one of my best times spent here... i wondered if i've grown up, or bcoz e things i've gained haf created such a great impact on me... they do all haf a reason for happening..

10 yrs down e road, a full class gathering may not be possible, due to all kinds of circumstances. but i noe, i must not ask for too much, n not everything can be within my control. but the happy times we've had together, will never be forgotten... shun qi zi ran ba.. may we all succeed in e things we do in e future!!

~tried changing blog layout.. ^_^''' not good wif html

haven been blogging these days... i wonder y too... anw e past few days haf been quite nice lah... attending lectures regularly *grinz.. did chem in library... equilibrium's driving me nuts.. perhaps coz it's related to maths again =(

of coz e highlight of the week was e preparation of qr's bdae present!! hahaha... it's funny tt she din suspect anythin at all, frm how we bluff her tt we were goin to coro aft sch den sneaked to orchard..how i told her i'm goin AMK popular to buy laminating paper, how wj "skilfully" asked her wad her fav flower n colour was, to how we secretly met up early in e morning to mount e whole jigsaw...=P

it was a real joy to see qianru's obvious surprise n touched expression..n silly gal, pls dun feel "indebted" to us or wad "undeserving" coz we did it willingly out of our own heart.. plus ur smile's wad make all these worthwhile.. u noe giving's a kind of happiness in itself? =)

rem our lame msg at e back? no matter wad happens, u muz persevere on!!

oh ya, haf to mention... we were taking turns giving qr hugs.. when ys mysteriously appeared behind us.. with a completely straight face, he said," ah? i tot u all are queuing up for a hug, so i'm queueing too loh" ^_^''


HAPPIE BIRTHDAY to QIANRU!!!


~ ~ ~ ~ ~


something happened yesterday confused me alot. I was told tt i shld always rem to haf "fang2 ren2 zhi1 xin1"...but i'm absolutely sure tt that person has only purely good intentions... esp. coz i know tt person like since young? sighz. i din noe tt my actions mite trigger some anxieties in a third person.. feeling quite sorry abt it. but on e other hand, i tot, maybe tt third person's jus letting her imagination run wild... i'm not smart, but i'm not dumb either, at least i noe tt my "innocence" certainly surpasses that of the level of naivety.. i dun jus start talking to strangers on the streets, except when they r asking 4 directions or donations, n of coz i dun leave my contact info lying arnd on e Net...

oh wells. i'll be more rational next time..


~ ~ ~ ~ ~


pple say tt i dun haf a temper at all. but of coz i haf one. maybe only angels dun haf one. but i'm a human...

i rem according to becky, i'm one of those who are good-tempered most of e time, but when i really get angry.. it'll be very yan2 zhong4 (serious)...

tt's quite true i guess. usually i see "no point" (quoting daphne) in getting into a rage over small matters. it not only throws u into a bad mood instantly, it is oso v. unhealthy... =) if i can tolerate.. i can..

sometimes, u live not jus for others, but urself

in cases when i'm really provoked, my breathing becomes so rapid tt i cant breathe at all, i haf to calm myself down 1st... that happens when i feel tt i'm wrongly accused of sumthin, or tt sumthin unjust happens... usually when we get angry, all kinds of nasty words n accusations come flying out of nowhere. stuff tt we had never tot tt we r capable of sprouting.. n to make e situation worse, we start dragging other people in. n bring in unrelated things of e past to try to win e other party....

at e end of e day, we dun even rem y we started fighting in e 1st place..
so perhaps one piece of advice which applies to all of us at some time or another,

never start thinking of wad bad e other party has done for u, or wad good he has never done for u at e heat of e argument... coz tt's how many tragedies start..


wad a weird post...haha..

sighz


it was...

my first love






it was...

love at first sight... *blushes



=)

let me show u a pic...





it's was love at first bite actually...Ritz's Apple Strudel!!... sounding like a swa gu here.. but it's really my 1st time eating... so delicious...n it melts in ur mouth




wah... toking abt food makes my day =D forget all troubles, all worries....yay a good way of de-stressing tooo

haha... wad a crappy post.... i watched the terminal with my mum today... she found her way to cine n bot the tickets by herself.. i find her so ke ai n street-smart at e same time... =) had yummy lunch at suki ramen... oh anw e terminal was really nice n wen xin =P although the plot wasnt that outstanding n clear, n some parts were not well-linked, i tot it was still very worth-watching... n esp. i had free complimentary movie tickets!! hahaha... i rem i haven watched a movie with my mum since many years ago... in my memory i can vaguely my very first few movie outings like "Jurassic Park- The Lost World"...

very happy tt we both enjoyed ourselves... haha seems like i'm alwiz catching a movie b4 getting back prelim results.... bleahz


p/s: tt wasn't my big mouth lah (in the pic)

小城大事 杨千嬅

青春彷佛因我爱你开始 但却令我看破爱这个字
自你患上失忆 便是我扭转命数的事

只因当失忆症发作加深 没记住我但却另有更新蜜运
像狐狸精般 并未允许我步近

无回忆的余生 忘掉往日情人 却又记住移情别爱的命运
无回忆的男人 就当偷厄与瞒骗 抱抱我不过份

* 吻下来 豁出去 这吻别似覆水
再来也许要天上团聚
再回头 你不许 如曾经不登对
你何以双眼好像流泪

彼此追忆不怕爱要终止 但我大概上世做过太多坏事
能从头开始 跪在教堂说愿意

娱乐行的人影 还在继续繁荣 我在算着甜言蜜语的寿命
人造的蠢卫星 没探测出我们已 已再见不再认

Repeat *
我下来 你出去 讲再会也心虚 我还记得到天上团聚
吻下来 豁出去 从前多么登对
何以双眼好像流泪
每年这天记得再流泪

Super duper nice song.... haha... actually it's the midi of my blog =P
aiya... i dun like goin to sch for only a few hrs den goin back home again, knowing tt i shld start planning a timetable of some sort for As... but jus cant put my mind into doing it...

yesterday was horrible, to me, to a few others too... was in quite low spirits.. i cant stand myself moping around ni'm sure it'll affect others too. but it's kinda impossible to cheer up when ur heart inside is feeling so dejected =( i dun hate maths, i REAlly dun hate maths, n i dun mind doing them too (if they r not too 'challenging') n seriously i tot this time round, i was pretty calm n composed... n it wasn't tt difficult aft all. i tot e maths department was quite kind actually. but still, my results were...like v. disappointing. i cant say tt it's all careless mistakes for e many qns i had like 1 or 2 m out of like 6 or 7 m, for there's alwiz some misinterpretation/or my messy handwriting cost/caused me alot of m coz i miss out things everytime i go to e next line...

no use complaining anymore... was jus thinking wad a pity....=..( me n wanjun were discussing abt how pple all over e world r suffering frm civil unrest (like Laos, Cambodia) n lots more terrible experiences n here we r, complaining n worrying our hearts out coz of e marks tt din belong to us in e 1st place. like "wah... i need another 0.5m to get a D.. or i wish i wasn't tt careless, or else?!" jus goes to show how we can be so narrow-minded at times... being unhappy is one thing, but jus 'let bygones be bygones"...

i'm fine again tdy... (-_-)'' coz somehow prelims r not impt!! =P hahaz.. sigh lousy maths... i mus b more careful n brainy... stuff myself with more bottles of chicken essence + bird's nest.. how else can i improve except to keep practising? oh ya wanna say thanks to shuwen... =) haha u r a great comfort!

me n qr had lunch with ili jus now =P long time no see... notti gal goin to play mahjong with her friends... hmmmm my fingers feel so itchy now!! i oso haven played for a long time... like since e stayover at mich's hse in june?? not gambling la... haha (i can see ah-ma janice's head shaking) but it's alot of fun mah... =)

new police story.... such a good movie =).. dun care abt any critics out there... i give it 5 stars... yay~ guess it was really worth watching...tho my fren said tt it was abit too violent... i cant agree with her at all... hahha maybe i secretly like watching violence? -_-'' no lah... but lots of action n excitement n touching moments...i like that =Pp

71 peeps u all MUS go n explore the cd that Mdm Toh prepared painstakingly for us if u all haven... coz it's like opening a treasure box... all that is inside glitters and shines...with all our wonderful little joys n laughter tog.. very touched...we'll alwiz rem u Mdm Toh.... n thanks for making each of us so special in ur eyes...

feeling very happie today =D somehow when i'm happy i'm abit lost for words... *grinz i may even stutter for no reason...

Joke of the Day:

An auntie is talking on her handphone on a bus. She and her grocery bags occupy one whole seat and she is saying in a loud voice:

"Haaaaallo?"
"Eh wo3 zai4 Bai2 Mei3 (''Prime" Supermarket), ni leh?"

Hmmm.. u get the joke?

...

No? hmmph...
BAI2 MEI3 (also meaning like "striking a pose" ?)
Muahahhahahaha

Anw, the bus was just passing by Prime Supermarket in my neighbourhood. I was sitting right behind e auntie n was trying hard to suppress my laughter. Luckily the next stop was my stop... ^_^''

anw heard tt NJ's having some "Dress to Impress" workshop tdy.. sounds scary n ma fan to me.. haha luckily i'm not in NJ, or else haf to dress up for either a date, award presentation or an interview.. hehehe

Today's Mid-Autumn!! =D long ago used to play wif candles n lanterns.. so fun! i tink if i look out of my window tonite, i'll see Bishan Park lit up beautifully with all sorts of candle lights :P shld be a full moon tonite is it? aha i rem during e prelims season, it was jus a tiny skinny cresent up in e sky....watched it become larger n larger as each night passed by, while i tried unsuccessfully to concentrate on mugging hahaha

A nice story...: =P
credits to: www.lovefatedestiny.com/lovestories11.htm


The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver and, using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he'd told her was empty. Then she settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg.

It had been a year since Susan, 34, became blind. Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity. And all she had to cling to was her husband, Mark.

Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all his heart. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength and confidence she needed to become independent again.

Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city. At first, this comforted Susan, and fulfilled Mark's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task.

Soon, however, Mark realized the arrangement wasn't working. Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But she was still so fragile, so angry - how would she react? Just as he predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again.

"I'm blind!", she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I am going? I feel like you're abandoning me."

Mark's heart broke to hear these words, but he knew what had to be done. He promised Susan that each morning and evening he would ride the bus with her, for as long as it took, until she got the hang of it. And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day.

He taught her how to rely on her other senses, specifically her hearing, to determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment. He helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her, and save her a seat.

Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw her arms around Mark, her temporary bus-riding companion, her husband, and her best friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience, And his love. She said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday... Each day on her own went perfectly, and Susan had never felt better. She was doing it! She was going to work all by herself.

On Friday morning, Susan took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying the fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Boy, I sure do envy you." Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all, who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live for the past year? Curious, she asked the driver, "Why do you say that you envy me?"

The driver responded, "It must feel good to be taken care of and protected like you are." Susan had no idea what the driver was talking about, and again asked, "What do you mean?"

The driver answered, "You know, every morning for the past week, a fine-looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you as you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches until you enter your office building.

Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky lady." Tears of happiness poured down Susan's cheeks. For although she couldn't physically see him, she had always felt Mark's presence. She was lucky, so lucky, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn't need to see to believe - the gift of love that can bring light where there is darkness.

Good Things about Strangers on the Street

They rarely acknowledge your existence, and that's just fine with you.
Sometimes they're rude or pushy, but then sometimes you are too.
They're faceless to you as you are to them, and they're hard to win over but quick to condemn. Yet, every stranger you will ever meet has a kindness and a beauty you just can't see.


More good things about strangers on the street:

They show you the faces of the other human beings living in the world. Strangers are your silent companions on your journey through existence.

Someone you will never know, have never met and will probably never meet again, is concerned enough about you as a fellow human being to show you a small kindness, like holding a door open or pointing the way to your destination.

They often smile at you just because you smiled at them.

~from: http://emotiontoolkit.com/goodthings.shtml

i guess it's very true... sometimes our gut feeling tells us e wrong things. we may feel tt someone doesn't really like u much, but actually we r jus thinking too much. who noes, e other person mite be thinking abt e same thing. pple somehow dun look friendly to one another not bcoz they mean to, but bcoz they had their own initial misconceptions (in shakespeare lang: misconstrued) tt they find it hard to let go of...n maybe they jus duno how to express themselves. perhaps tt's how many misunderstandings start n remain unveiled...

tt's something i learnt of recently... but of coz u cant force some things to happen if they r not meant to be...

feeling so bo liao now... surfing around for nice stuff to put here... =) e past few days i'm been having a case of insomnia... cant sleep soundly enough.. tend to get up at unearthly hours like 3am for no particular reason, den cannot go back to sleep. lie there staring wide-eyed at e ceiling, enjoying e peace of e nite.. (if only i dun need to get up tt early for sch) duno y oso.. exams r over for now, i'm supposed to recover frm lack of sleep rite? haven been napping too =( one of my must-have fav pastimes at home!? gone... even tho my legs were jelly-like aft yesterday... hope to haf better 'luck' next time

haha speaking of yesterday.. had alot of fun singing ktv... (even tho felt like we got cheated of money by kbox AGAin), roamed arnd e streets, neoprints, anyhow trying on clothes tt wld never fit on me, had some heart-to-heart talks which i enjoyed e most...=D n asked some questions tt i wld haf found it awkward asking last time. i guess some things come naturally, if they come at e right time and place...

recently someone told me sumthing interesting...something i never had problems wif b4.. (dun ask y=p) something tt seems sweet n caring to a person may actually seem freaky to another... so it all depends.. dun do things tt may scare e other person off although u may jus mean well... hahaz. wad crap i'm typing.. but yeah, dun envy others bcoz for example they get alot of attention (or even suitors) coz u never noe wad extra problems come with it all in a package...

oh yah, jus now my mum bought her nice pencil case in j8, a 'reward' frm me n brother as a show of encouragement for her in her english course =P haha it's kinda cute, it was e other way round abt 10 yrs ago...

gonna rest at home today... n tmr morning... better take good care! hahaz. i noe if i cant fall asleep tonite...i'll haf mdm toh's file to explore once more... sighz she's one of e 2 loveliest n most special teachers i've ever had =) e other's ms quek of coz.. one of e post As days we'll go visit her.. hope she's doing fine...

one thing tt seem overused but still serves its purpose: cherish everything, everyone arnd u for every single moment...

heyhey... i'm back again!! prelims r over for almost everybody..so it's becoming more n more common to see pple u noe on e streets, in town, n even...in e pool?! hahaha... ya yesterday when we went swimming at jurong, i saw many familiar faces, like yibing n qinglei... n oso dis couple i noe (not v.well)...which made me feel both surpised n v.paiseh coz when i 'discovered' them e moment my head emerged out of e water, they were only less than 1 metre away in frnt ... --_______________--''' like qr says i alwiz get caught in embarrassing situations...

den there was another malu-ating incident... in e wave pool, well shant elaborate any further ^_^ jus tt haf to thank huimin a million times for having lots of "strength" n for troubling her... n not tt i have anything against single sex sch pple (n anw i was frm one myself -_-) but some guys r really v. bo liao lehz... esp. when they try to dare each other to do sumthin dumb. haha.. suddenly tot of last time at sentosa, we witnessed this this bunch of bikini gals strutting abt n trying to persuade this grp of guys to play beach volleyball wif them... wahh y do i sound so critical today.. hahaha

got rather sunburnt but wad matters e most tt we had fun rite? haha... den we met up wif shiyun in town.. she went to pierce her ears again coz they closed up.. den we promised to 'pei' her but somehow e salesgal keep blocking our view den in a flash b4 we noe it she's done wif the piercing.. went to look at prom dresses again like on thurs wif xingni shuwen n eefung... but aiya i jus dun haf e figure to look right in them loh... so short oso.. =..( wonder wad i wld end up wearing... haha.. oh ya e movie the choir boys (sorry forgot e french title) was kinda nice... e teacher was quite an inspiring one... =)

still feeling kinda tired.. maybe shldnt haf stayed out e past 2 days... but hehe there's time tdy to rest welll :) i luv this kind of lazy feeling...
still waiting anxiously for e final verdict tmr... sighz i really hope tt it will go in my favour... tho i dun wan to make them worried, but i see this as a good chance of showing them what i can be... tmr goin out wif amm *excited ahaa.. coz it's been a long time...

hope everyone's having fun out there!!!!!!!!

my dark rings/eye bags r actually growing to a beautiful size of like 4cm long x 2cm wide (never bother abt its depth) -__-'''

considering that my eyes r those small kind. double -_-'''

........

jus cldn't stop tearing while watching tv tonite... is it coz i'm tired or wad (sighz wanted to nap but jus cldn't fall asleep.. overexhaustion?) , or was it coz i was watching parts of e repeat of Titanic... duno y it made me feel abit sad. maybe i was thinking abt sumthing in e past, almost long forgotten, or maybe i was thinking abt e present. or u can say, future as it's never too far away... it jus din make sense coz i continued feeling like this while watching jia cai wan guan on ch8... when PP was trying his best to move junjie to tears...

haiya perhaps it's jus all bcoz i'm alone at home.. cooked n ate my own dinner (kk la.. it's jus noodles) .. coz my parents r now at esplanade watching a musical called' mama mia'' i tink... so somehow when u r feeling bored, u'll start to think abt all sorts of things, everything... den emotions come flooding in. haha actually i'm not alwiz lidat, but i dun like being alone for too long a time, i tend to miss pple =) n i jus dun feel e motivation to mug for chem, last prelim paper!!

tmr's my brother's bdae =P since many yrs ago i've given up on trying to think of surprise presents to give him.. haha mutually agreed tt we better decide on buying something each of us want. good eh? but wun be seeing him tmr i guess, since i cant possibly fly to ntu... n anw his gf'ill be there to celebrate for him =) better not be lightbulb again... last sat when she came over 4 steamboat...really e more i look at e both of them, e more i tink tt they r v. compatible, in terms of both looks n personality hahaha... his gf's very sweet n gentle...pretty too! n her voice's so naturally soft tt... eh tt my voice sounds like a bulldozer next to hers!!! (i'm serious loh, sharon if u r reading u muz believe me) i tink i was quite glad last time tt she's e kind type... n easy to get along wif.. shall try getting to noe her better in e future =D

haha.. back to my bro. actually some events of e past week besides stress affected me alot...till last weekend i felt so overwhelmed n scared.. den luckily he reassured me tt only e parties directly involved r able to sort it all out themselves.. feelings of helplessness r inevitable, but they shldn't be e reason for me to be unhappy. drove alot of sense into me that time... thanks bro (tho of coz u wun noe i haf a blog!...yay! tt's e point~) we often criticise ourselves tt we shld haf, or cld haf done sumthin to help e situation, but we r oso often so wronged abt ourselves. e fact tt we humans all haf our limitations, still remains in e very end. we cant please everyone, we cant save everyone, we cant stop bad things frm happening. n e same goes to exams too, if we din fare well enuf, it's bcoz at tt particular point of time n place, we r jus not at our very best. it doesn't mean tt we r stupid, or we r bound to fail everytime...

starting to blabber again... cant wait for thurs' chem to finish den i can throw a big stone off my heart! bio was terrible tdy, i mus practise thinking faster... how can i train up on tt?? ^_^''

jus now i was thinking abt sumthing silly... wad if i haf other nick names for a nice change? like...e.g. Brainy Mayi, Tall Mayi... BIMBOTIC mayi... or even beefy mayi if i were to be a guy? wahhhh lame.... hard to imagine huh?

so for now i'll remain as ur Goofy ant... hey there!

宁夏 梁静茹

宁静的夏天 天空中繁星点点
心里头有些思念 思念着你的脸
我可以假装看不见 也可以偷偷地想念
直到让我摸到你那温暖的脸

知了也睡了 安心的睡了 在我心里面 宁静的夏天
知了也睡了 安心的睡了 在我心里面 宁静的夏天

new song.. first time i heard it i tot it sounded quite nice... simple n nice =) really got a peaceful summer feel, tho october's coming soon so shld be autumn soon in some countries.. scenes of falling leaves...spectucular. qiu tian de tong hua haha. act reminds of e poor tree which was once standing (majestically) by our class bench but then it got ill so it was chopped down =( haha n xingni trying to catch a falling leaf.. n then making a wish aft that. quite like this kind of things tho it doesnt really come true. i guess if u really wan something, u haf to depend on urself to turn it frm a dream into a reality..

looks like everyone's feeling physically n mentally drained aft this week... me too now still feeling abit groggy tho i've slept alot.. haha i tink i need to exercise...really soon! one more week! getting so unfit maybe go swimming or play ball play badminton... never ever counted myself as sporty but i tink playing physical sports is much more fun than working out in e gym or doin stuff like aerobics hahaa.. esp those u put in a tape n start following e actions of e instructors shown in e tape =P

sumthin has been whirling in my head for e past week. sumthin about trust. sometimes u noe about sumthin tt others duno..it's not a secret but u dun purposely say it out bcoz u tink it's all abt trust in each other. but it bothers u sometimes coz u wish others can see e light by themselves. haha... all these sound rather un-understandable... it's ok... jus feel like voicing it out. i heard sumthin on e radio i tink... abt faithfulness n trust. how much trust is sufficient... how too much or too little trust is harmful. not sure if i'm a trusting person, or a trustworthy person... sometimes i got some things i wan to share, but end up not saying. maybe bcoz i duno if others wan to listen or if i'm really prepared to give everything..

saying alot in words these days... haha. eh i tink i'm very chatty on e bus lately... maybe tt's my way of relieving stress aft each murderous paper.. n we laf abt anything in e reading room yesterday... frm brush borders to cilia to faye wong's 'jiang ai' song... muahaha we r getting really weird loh.... =)

come here for a short short break hehe... actually got lots to blog abt...but better not say now, i'll take a long time (^_^)'' jus now got caught in a rainy-storm...den i forgot to bring umbrella tdy luckily my mum v. gladly came down to busstop to bring for me =) but while i was waiting, there was this man sitting (on e ground!) at e void deck...singing loudly to himself... quite scary. so i had to move away to stand somewhere else...coz last time had some weird experience during my guides days in sec sch which happened on a rainy day too...

me n my campmates were on a urban hike. it started to pour heavily den we had to take shelter under a void deck too. suddenly a man emerged frm nowhere n asked us if we cld give him some water to drink (we were carryin a 1litrebottle anw).. we were like er...er.. den later another man came... n offered us a big packet of chocolates!? n den he left... we were like double huh again... e man looked nice enough, maybe he jus saw tt we were cold n hungry tt's y he offered us.. but still in e end we threw e chocolates away. abit bad hoh? but better to be safe than sorry =p

so do strange pple roam abt esp. during rainy days? haha. duno wad point i'm driving at... but was quite glad when mum finally arrived! anw chem tdy was not tt good... had time to finish but sighz i still left alot blank.. like some organic qns.... but better than panicking like during blk test 2. tmr still got econs n bio prac hope everything will go on smoothly (smoothier) for all of us!

goin to eat liao... aha hot porridge on a rainy day... not bad!

=)))))))))

got a strange uplifting feeling jus now...as if I was suddenly lifted up into e skies. bouncing up n down on e clouds like doraemon. like cotton candy. yeah, like somebody said in a magazine, (tink it was lin zi liang) everything we do needs courage. even expressing ur love n concern to ur close ones take alot of courage. n i'm really glad, n being a person who isn'tv.expressive with words, i hope u noe u r alwiz a part of us

=))))))))))
grinning frm ear to ear, eye to eye, cheek to cheek..

yesh....despite e sad realisation tt i wun be able to finish studyin... haha like welcoming impeding doom with open arms. sigh drinking tea/coffee jus doesn't seem to work on me.. i'm exceptionally awake, but with a distracted n foggy brain... hehe. well good luck to me...

n to u too!

caught e news last nite... reports of e aftermath of e terrible incident in a school in Russia done by e chechen terrorists. sighz 400 lives.. n even those children who survived will suffer frm mental n emotional trauma...hope e counselling'll help them overcome it. it seemed even more horrifying than e one last time when e chechen terrorists held pple hostage in e cinema... duno wad to say... it's almost impossible to haf "world peace" as advocated by so many, many pple all over e world, including e miss universes...maybe doing more charitable deeds will not help neutralise all e bad things done in this world much, but perhaps they will bring more hope to pple suffering frm e edge of poverty, starvation, civil strife, war, epidemics....

i rem once i happen to read a nice article in a readers digest left at e class bench... this was this millionaire, who exchanged 1 million $$ for 1 million dollar coins n (forgot e details) sent every coin to all around e world through mail. in his letter he told e recipient to reply him with any wishes, or simply any interesting details abt which part of e world e coin went to. 1 yr passed, n there were no reply frm any of e letters. jus when e millionaire wanted to give up hope, e letters started flooding his mailbox... there were pple who thanked him n told him how did they spend e dollar coin on... there were many wishes n e millionaire learned lots of valuable knowledge abt pple all over e world. tho e value of a dollar coin is tiny, somehow hopes were given, recieved n exchanged thru it. frm strangers.. to suddenly frens. tink we need more of such of ideas to remind us of ren jian de wen nuan...


~~~~~~

disillusioned. n almost fanatical..
u dun tell us wad's on ur mind
perhaps i shld haf a good long talk wif u, if tt's e least i can try to turn u back. sighz

on a lighter note, i tink my 1st anniversary with my blog has jus passed... haha *cheers =P tmr goin out to study wif frens.. try to be more productive!

comp's still suffering frm an attack by a million viruses...(haha soph, it's crawling again) quite ke lian.. n e modem's not working...despite restarting n reformatting a gazillion times hmmm heard of similar cases frm my frens too... haiyoz this'll jus cont giving me headaches coz my dad'll wan to use it every nite...but i jus duno how to solve e problems except to try over again...bro says we mite as well get a new com...=P haha. adding up e possible costs of repair will = a brand new comp!

so every sec here's very precious... mus not waste any more time... later dc again ^_^''

haven been doin much these days... normally i'll start e day off by slacking arnd n looking 4 stuff to do until abt 12.. aft lunch den i'll start to mug seriously... but tt's e time for aft naps.. hmm trying to kick off e napping habit but it's hard!! esp. when it's possible to fall asleep on e table/sofa/bed.. without any knowledge of it til i wake up like1 hr + later.. wondering if it's still evening or already morning e next day. hmm besides tt i get distracted easily too...=( but can only keep trying to convince myself tt...jus do as much as i can... n maybe... things will jus turn out fine in e end...

my dad suddenly got e v. old videocam repaired n started to play farnie videos of e past (kk ...there were only 2 pathetic ones) 1 was some prize-giving ceremony when i was in p2... e good old days when i still cld go up onstage to receive sumthing... haha tt's really true. (nice sunyanzi song on 933 now btw) huimin was 1st, amm was 2nd, both of them look so cute n innocent. but frm den can already tell their diff. personalities... haha. den I came along, as 10 yrs younger... standing on e steps peering abt in a gan-cheong way... me, now sitting in frnt of e tv, almost died laughing at myself...coz i was bowing in such a robotic n obedient way... hahahhaa... ben1 dan4. aft e ceremony, one stoopid thing tt happened was me n my frens counted to 3 n started making faces at e camera -___-'''' really not childish lohz. so i felt kinda comforted in e fact tt in these 10 yrs, i've managed to grow up n mature quite alot... haha tho it's difficult to realise e changes coz we r conscious of ourselves n everything arnd us everyday...

somehow in times of stress (frm exams) like now, we tend to feel v. vulnerable. we start reminiscing abt happy things of e past... thinking abt how simple n careful life was... but maybe these r e things tt will cont pushing us on, no matter wad happens in e future... one day we'll be able to look back, with A levels as part of our past tooo..

during e weekend... went to east coast park to haf seafood dinner.. coz sep's got 2 bdae babies in my family... yumyum crabs!! (cld feel e spiciness in my throat even when i reached home) haven been to east coast 4 so, so long, i cant even rem. maybe coz it's so far away ba. anw aft dinner we stood by e beach, enjoying e sea breeze...so cooling n nice =)) made me feel v. happy n relaxed. n i tink it was my 1st time... if only i stay near e sea.. den maybe can come more often.. added to my to-do list aft As... =P it was quite surprising to me tt e sea was so quiet n 'tame'.. den my bro started to chuan shou his knowledge of engineering to me... saying tt e wall below us's called a 'sea wall'..haha

but e night was somewhat ruined by e weird taxi driver... he kept talking to himself n doin all sorts of actions while driving.. made us e passengers quite worried 4 our lives.. even had to remind him tt e 'greenman light''s still blinking when he tried to drive past it... urgh while saying tt he's in a hurry... seems like he got some mental problem... so bro tried his best to stop me frm sleepin in e cab.. jus in case...hahaa =) maybe next time i'll go learn a self-defence course....

kk... better go for dinner!! byeeee... cont mugging pple!

was rummaging in my drawer, looking for some source of inspiration n motivation to STARt mugging for e day... i started to read letters, past letters ranging frm those frm my den good pri5 fren kaimei (sighz we've lost touch) to those of last yr's...some of them were jus plain gossip letters or crappy ones...pretty fun re-reading them again, they remind me of things in e past tt i've almost forgotten abt. n to some extent, they do inspire me (erm u asking y am i still here n not studying.. ahaa)...so many anecdotes of my own... my growing up process, evidence of how gossipy n lame i was n still am... it reminds of how happy i am w/o e looming threat of A's...=D suddenly feel very wen1 xin1... i'll never ever throw them away.

was thinking if i'm a DJ i cant bear to throw any letter away for it contains a little bit of e heart of e writer... tt someone's sharing ur joy or sorrow with u... u haf e power to make them happy again... ahh.. but it's quite impossible to keep all lah, soon e radio station'll turn into a huge rubbish dump hehe

Give more than expected..

feeling kinda happie tdy... duno y =) nothing special happened.. but it's been alwiz like this, i get pretty sad abt little things tt happen, but a v.little thing'll jus unexpectedly make me a happy person again... so full of emotions. not a v.good thing u noe. but i try not to bear grudges against anyone or myself overnight.. n tink i still haf a long way to go on learning abt e virtue of forgiveness... n often it's partly my fault tt i make myself sad... but for now, i'll TRY to tink of nothing else but exams...concentrate concentrate concentrate!! try to make myself hyper n enthu for mugging *punch fist in e air * ^_^'''

jus saw zz's post on class blog... i'll jus haf to pick a safe occasion to ask my parents again... haiz pls let them help me learn wad independence is!? how i wish i can prove myself capable in taking good care of myself...... i dun mind forking out my own savings for a trip wif e class!!

was watching yang qian hua's concert on vcd.. some of e duets sang were those of e late 80s to early 90s.. e time when cantonese pop songs were at e peak of their success with e mass.... not hard to understand y.. coz the songs r all so nice!! wonder if can find them at kbox hehe... was thinking, music really rocks my life... not tt i'm v. musically inclined or not tt i noe alot abt music (acty i can only give like 20 marks 4 my knowledge of e music arena).. but w/o music, boring pasttimes (of now) like doin math rev. wld be really BORING... n once in a while, turning up e volume to my earphones is quite thrilling.. pity i cant dance huh... quite a funny sight, moving to music while solving maths prob -_-''

anw... here's one song tt can really brighten my life when i'm feeling lethargic:

你的微笑 F.I.R

喜欢用我的音调 唱出你的味道
这一秒 有种感觉甜蜜的发酵
一百种言语知道 爱有一个声道
才明了 是你眼神传来的暗号

太多的幸福报到 拼凑爱的美妙
笑一笑投入你怀里然后撒娇
不需要别人来教 把爱紧紧抓牢
这一秒 决定拥抱你给的美好

爱情是你独特的味道 在我的心中围绕
别人都不了 只有你知道
因为你 世界不再单调 我的微笑 你明白就很好

你就像月亮绕着轨道 拥抱着地球闪耀
在我的星球 写下惊叹号
有了你世界神魂颠倒 你的微笑 编织了每一个奇妙

though e road ahead seems never-ending these days, considering we still haf like 2-3mths b4 we'll reach our destinaton, but never give up or step on e brake... thinking tt our oil in us is running out... but it will never, if we keep adding to it, with love, care, dreams n aspirations...
when we feel tt we r abt to break down any moment, wish for a petrol station to loom in sight n it will appear =) never understimate wad pple can do for u... den aft tt u can start ur car again, accelerate n sprint for e finishing line.. it's so far yet so near... believe me, u'll soon be able to see e turn in e road, to yet another destination of ur life, to meet up with new challenges in time to come =D

jiayou everyone, n keep e motivation ongoing!

借口 周杰伦

翻着我们的照片 想念若隐若现
去年的冬天 我们笑得很甜
看着你哭泣的脸 对着我说再见
来不及听见 你已走得很远

也许你已经放弃我 也许已经很难回头
我知道自己错过 请再给我一个理由 说你不爱我

就算是我不懂 能不能原谅我
请不要把分手当作你的请求
我知道坚持要走是你受伤的藉口
请你回头 我会陪你一直走到最后

就算没有结果 我也能够随
我知道你的痛 是我给的承诺
你说给过我笑容 沉默是因为包容
如果要走 请你记得我

如果难过 请你忘了我

nice song.. kept thinking abt it today
it's e last day of sch..=( duno if i shld elaborate...
jus now standing outside e shop window besides swensons...
there was a poster named "Today's advice"
i closed my eyes
n pointed randomly
e box read "give more than expected"
y didn't i realise it sooner tdy
or i jus wldn't heed it
i was unreasonably tired n unhappy
i oso duno e exact e reason y
maybe it was this, or that..
i tink it was this

or shld i jus go sleep
forget all abt this

tdy my ct came back to sch.. she was wearing specs... was wondering how was she feeling as she read her time mag silently.. den suddenly she started telling us abt wad happened to her father.. even tho i sort of knew it yesterday already, i was still caught in a moment of helplessness n despair. maybe it was the way she described it, i duno. It was a major relief to hear tt he's now out of danger... but something bothered me.. we, as her ct class, were the very trusted ears she needed.. in a way it was heartening to know tt she placed so much significance on us, her students tt she has known for only 2yrs. but i was thinking, wad if we were not there.. den she'll haf 27 less pairs of ears to listen to her troubles.. n she din seem to be in very close relations with her family except her dad..we all noe tt in critical times like this, frens' n closed ones's support n encouragement matters the most. if not, it may signify a bad turning pt in a person's life... we din say anything reassuring..plain listening mite be the best tt we can do to help, but nonetheless, i hope tt it may make e biggest difference.. rem she was saying sorry sorry to tell us so much aft tt.. i wondered y.. maybe it's her way of saying thanks 4 listening. it came naturally..

life is precious, pls stop using dying to threaten ourselves..
n i realise they r more n more pple with mental problems (not-inborn kind) in this society (there's 1 specific incident yesterday but shall not elaborate here), not sure of wad really caused this phenomenon but really... pple.. loosen up n relieve ur stress, or else we'll all turn mad one day.. being mad is very saddening actually.

n tt wld be very unnecessary. coz at least we do haf a choice not to.

距离 林俊杰

在距离三公里的位置 我在这里
想象心中的你的呼吸 同样的熄着灯的窗子
你在那里 听不到我呼吸着分离

我走向前 你看不见 真的遥远
就连叹息 影子听见 也是无言
你走向前 我看不见 你的思念
你和我之间 刻着一条界线 不曾有改变

保留着三公分的距离 我的眼里
填满着整个我爱的你 坐在同一张四方桌子边
你的眼里 读不到眷着我的讯息

当爱离开之前 能多苦 能多深 能多甜
距离是你走过我身边

bro's goin back to his ntu hostel dis weekend.. now my parents n him r on e way there... wanted to tag along but it's a rented van dun really haf space 4 me with my bro's supplies arnd.. feeling abit sad coz i'll only see him like thrice a wk in e future... nobody 4 me to disturb, or talk to... den he's been my permanent math tutor.. (haiz i tink my maths' been goin down e drain since sec4, like mdm toh rote, i shld haf seeken (is there such a word?) guidance 4 my weaker subs.. oh well it's kind of late 4 tuition? wang hou de ri zi zhen me guo?)... seriously i tink he' s an even more patient person than me... n he explains things well too. but maybe wad i'll miss most abt him is his 'noise' n presence at home... =( now tt family's not well off, e car's not with us anymore... can no longer travel to jurong point to haf family dinner tog on sat like last yr.. it's so far away..

anw e com left in my bro's room now is goin bonkers... so another good preventive measure to ban me frm coming online.. hehe. good for me i guess.. so i'll try not to blog so much

yesterday met up with lj... n she told me some affairs of e heart.. suddenly i become a love consultant?! tried to ans some of her qns.. but i'm not like experienced or wad... so i wondered if i've helped her anotz.. den she was saying one of her guy frens was confiding in her his relationship troubles... (which was quite farnie e way he cldn't see wad seemed to be obvious to girls), which oso made me wonder... if i haf a close guy fren confiding in me lidat... it'll be quite fun to help him... not as-in being matchmaker ^_^'' but as in i'll be really happie for him if all goes well...=D but i dun haf lah, well maybe it's my personality or wad, but of coz friendship shld come naturally... haha i cant possibly try to make frens jus 4 dis purpose rite?