HAM - LET me in

 HAM,  LET ME IN  - mostly by Kendra Hall, with help from Shakespeare

           A Tragedy

ACT I

SCENE I.   A straw house in the country.

PIG I at his straw house. Enter to him WOLF

WOLF

Greetings,

Lord Pig I beseech thee,

 let me enter.

PIG I

Nay, you venomous slosh-guzzle,

fare thee well,

hath thou not heard my dismissal!

WOLF

Methinks thou art not in earnest!

I beseech thee, let me enter!

PIG I

Nay you thieveing leech,

dispatch thyself!

WOLF

Then in mine ire shall I

breathe out strong breath

and lay waste to thine dwelling!

            Wolf blows straw house down

WOLF

Thou wouldst not grant me enter,

yet I have come off conqueror,

I Shall feast upon the spoils;

“The world’s mine oyster!”  (Merry Wives of Windsor)

            Exit WOLF

SCENE II. A humble stick house in the country

            PIG II at stick house. Enter to him GHOST

PIG II

What manner of  trick be this?

Be thou mine brother or piglet damn’d,

            Ghost beckons PIG II

“See! It beckons me forward!”

“It waves me forth again: I’ll follow it!” (Hamlet)

            WOLF approaches, Exeunt GHOST

Come away! What means this excitement?

WOLF

Lord Pig, I beseech thee,

Let me enter.

PIG II

Hath not I been warned;

Away with thee, At once!

WOLF

Methinks thou art not in earnest!

I beseech thee; let me enter!

PIG II

“I trust I may not trust thee!” (Hamlet)

Doth not the apparition warn against?

Thy swagger and bloodstained muzzle

Do betray thee. I say, away villain!

WOLF

Then in mine ire shall I

breathe out strong breath

and lay waste to thine dwelling!

            Wolf blows stick house down

WOLF

Alas! What generous meat doth present?

“A dish that I do love to feed upon” (Taming of the Shrew)

“This business is well ended” (King Lear)

            Exit WOLF

SCENE III. A brick house in the country

            PIG III at brick house. Enter to him two GHOSTS

PIG III

Hath mine eyes deceived me?

Art thou not my brothers,

Born of the self same matron

Who bore me in her affliction?

Canst thou not speak;

Yet ye beckon me forward;

Shall I yet see what is the cause of thy appearance?

            Enter WOLF

Fie! Thy blood lay upon the villainous wolf.

“This butcher's cur is venom-mouth'd, and I
Have not the power to muzzle him;”  (Henry VIII)

Prithee, brothers, protect mine honor;

Vengence upon the filthy savage.

            GHOSTS descend upon WOLF

WOLF

Is this but the apparitions of my kill?

Tis the same.

            WOLF knocks on PIG III door

Lord Pig, I beseech thee,

Let me enter.

PIG III

“Fly hence, and leave me: think upon these gone;
Let them affright thee. I beseech thee,” wolf,

“O, be gone!”    (Romeo and Juliet)

           

WOLF

Methinks thou art not in earnest!

I beseech thee; let me enter!

            GHOSTS surround WOLF

Save me this pageantry;

Forgive mine assassination!

PIG III

I have not a house of stick or straw,

Thou mayst not enter herein my house of stone.

To thy grave of earth thou must enter in

This is but fair play.

WOLF

I die!

            GHOSTS surround and engulf  WOLF, WOLF dies

PIG III Standing over WOLF

Tis not solace.

I am but mad,

Vengence restores not.

Thy mischief can n’er be undone.

           

            Exeunt

A little refinement

A few of you have asked for details about Nora's behavior chart.

I once nannied for a sweet girl who was so very polite and a very good girl. That wasn't by luck- the previous nanny had made a board game to help her become a lady. I loved the idea and stored it away in my brain for later. Now it's later, and my little heathen needs some direction.

Supplies:
Poster board
Markers
Ruler
Scissors
(And stickers if you want)
That's it!

The basic idea is to make a board game and some activity cards to go with it. I wanted the game to take about two months, so most of the activity cards only have a value of one or two spaces. If she completes the activity or behavior on the card she puts stickers on the spaces (but you can also just cross of each space with a marker). If she lands on a star she gets a treat (a piece of dove chocolate) if she lands on a heart she gets 10-15 minutes of one-on-one playtime with mom or dad. She loves playtime with us and she loves chocolate- but you could substitute prizes or other things that make your child happy for the hearts and stars. When she gets to the end she will get a larger prize (she wants a set of girly Legos) and a certificate deeming her a refined lady.

The hardest part is coming up with the activities cards. I want them to sound encouraging - not pointed (stop burping at the table you uncultured swine!... is a little harsh)

That's it. If you have any questions, ask in the comments and I'll answer them!

The day I painted the bathroom (and hit my head)

I hit my head today. Kinda hard.

I feel a bit stupid about it.

You see, I put the ladder in the bathtub to paint the high parts of the wall. The ladder didn't fit very well, so it was wobbly and not locked into place. Then I climbed right up and sat on the very top. The part that warns that it is not a step, yeah, that part is where I parked it. I had a full tray of paint and I was reaching for the wall and pushing hard with the roller to make sure I got as much paint out of each stroke as possible.

Then it happened. I rolled too hard, lost my balance and the ladder went one direction and I went the other. It was the strangest sensation. Like I was being swallowed. It happened so fast and so slow all at the same time. I had the time to have thoughts go through my head like: "Well, this wasn't a good idea", "I hope I don't land on the ladder", "Grab something!", "Help!", and "This is going to be bad."
Then I hit my head on the marble window ledge and then again on the edge of the tub. Also, this is when I lost consciousness. Somewhere in there I also sliced the heel of my right foot on the ladder and pulled the towel rod out of the wall--landing on the bent rod. Great. Also, I think I'm going to take all the kids toys out of my bathtub. I landed on a tugboat, some Little People, and a bottle of shampoo. Of course I don't remember that happening, I just noticed when Brian pulled all those things out from under me.

Brian had just got home from a trip to Chicago a mere half hour before the fall. According to Brian he heard a yell, a crash, a bang, a few more crashes and then silence. He ran to the bathroom, saw paint everywhere, the ladder was out of the tub and standing upright next to the sink, and he found me in the bottom of the tub unconscious. He said it took about 15 seconds for me to come to and respond.
I woke up to see Brian's concerned face. My head hurt a lot. I felt ok otherwise- thanks to the adrenaline.  I had the shakes... and I felt stupid.

Brian called 911 and had the kids call Nana to come be with them (thank goodness for Nana). Ethan was in hysterics--he thought I was going to die (I didn't know this until he told me later, poor guy thought I was literally going to the hospital to die). So he called Nana and all he did was cry uncontrollably. Then Nora said to Ethan, "Give me the phone Ethan so I can tell Nana what's going on." She then calmly relayed to Nana what happened and asked her to come to our house. Brian was able to get on the phone and put Nana's mind at ease. Sheesh, the drama!

Our neighbor, Katie, came right over and took the kids. Then the paramedics arrived. At this point I realized I had cut my foot really bad, but it didn't seem to be bleeding so I wasn't too concerned.
I did NOT want to go the the hospital. But all I could think about where the stories of people who hit their head, didn't go to the hospital and then died the same day. I sucked up my pride and went with the paramedics on the stretcher--neck brace and all. When they helped me stand, the blood started gushing out of my heel--guess it was worse than I thought.

I was so embarrassed. I hadn't opened my eyes much because of the pain in my head, and tears were flowing unrestrained (pain, stupidity and embarrassment causes lots of tears)... I have the best neighbors and I was sure that they were all out watching the whole ordeal as I got wheeled out on the stretcher. I asked the paramedic, "How many people are watching? I'm so embarrassed." He said, "Just keep your eyes closed and it never happened." :-)

Ambulance ride, emergency room, CAT scan, x-rays.

Diagnosis: concussion and a severe laceration that needed stitches. Eight stitches.
They stitched me up and sent me home with a few prescriptions to kill pain, avoid vomiting, and protect against infection.

I'm suppose to rest for a few days and not hit my head on anything.
I'm just mad the bathroom is only half painted.
My advice: Hire painters. It is much cheaper than a trip to the E.R.

Why don't you act your age!

Sometimes you look around and say, "WHAT!" When did these kids grow up? Why aren't they babies- they were babies yesterday, I swear!

They want to do everything by themselves, for themselves, and make all their own decisions. They don't want you to brush their teeth or do their hair.

They don't necessarily listen to your advice or your requests for that matter.

They know how to use your phone better than you do. They laugh at jokes you can't believe they understand. And you can't spell words over their heads when you don't want them to know what you are talking about....

But, they are still your babies. You want to hug and squeeze them, give them kisses, tell them you love a hundred times a day, and pinch their cute tooshies. And at night you still sneak in while they are asleep and remember, and smile.

Or, at least, I do.

Ethan's Baptism

Ethan turned eight a few weeks ago. We believe that this is the age of accountability. Also, it is the age we believe is old enough to choose to be baptized. Ethan chose to be baptized.

Ethan's baptism was very nice. Grandma, Nana, Tara, Chris, Kristy, and their kids were all able to be there. There were some nice talks, a beautiful musical number and then we waited for our turn to have Ethan baptized... There were 9 kids getting baptized the same day! We were the last to get to use the baptismal font- it was a long wait ;)

When it was Ethan's turn, Brian baptized him (twice, because the first time he didn't say the words quite right). Then, since Ethan was the last kid, he got to pull the plug on the font- he was very excited about that. After Brian and Ethan were dried off and changed, they came into the room and he was confirmed and given the Gift of the Holy Ghost. It was a beautiful blessing. As he was being blessed, in my mind I saw Ethan as a grown boy, wearing a white shirt and tie, out serving the Lord on a mission. He was handsome, brave and strong- and he knew what he believed and was happy. I felt the Spirit so strong. Then, Grandpa Miles played his guitar and sang a song about baptism. It is a song that Miles wrote for Brian when he was baptized. So cool! Then we finished up the rest of the program.

For lunch we went to Golden Corral! Buffet! (Ethan keeps talking about the buff-ette that we went to ;)

It was a lovely day, and I'm so proud of Ethan. He is growing and maturing so quickly. Before I know it the day will be here that he is out serving that mission for the Lord. He'll be a fantastic missionary.

Enjoying Motherhood

There are moments in motherhood that some people call paychecks. Here are some of my "paychecks"...

Seeing what Nora has decided to wear to school.

Making silly faces with Wesley, watching him grow.

When the kids play together nicely.

Family walks on beautiful nights... and when funny stuff happens. "your eye, mommy!"

Ethan taking 12 samples from the Vitamix guy when he says, "take as many as you'd like!"

I love being a mom. When I look for the good stuff about being a mom- I see it everywhere, I hear the sweet things they say, I feel their chubby arms around my neck, and I know how to make them happy.
These kids were meant to be mine, and I was meant to be their mom.

Chicago and a baby!

 

 I'm not one to go on a trip without my kids in tow. I've rarely been away from them more than a night. BUT - my sister Megan was about to give birth to her fourth child... I hadn't seen her in so long, I haven't been able to be there for my sisters at any of their other births, and I we just got our tax return... ;)
So I presented my argument to my husband. And he lovingly said that I could go (after I promised to take care of all the details, told him how important it was to me, and begged a little).
So with kids schedules taken care of, meals planned, and totally AWESOME friends willing to watch the kids until Brian got home from work- I bought my plane tickets.
A little back story- Megan was going to have her baby naturally and I was planning on going to see her two weeks before her due date. But I just knew that she would have the baby while I was there! Everyone kept asking me (even Megan) but what if she doesn't have the baby while you're there??? I assured everyone that even if she didn't, that Megan and I love hanging out together and that we'd finish tons of projects and I give her back rubs- still a total win! Secretly, though, I knew she'd have the baby while I was there.
I caught a late flight out of Dallas. It wasn't until I got to the airport that I realized just how much I was going to miss Brian and the kids. It hit me kind of hard as they dropped me off. I kissed and kissed them and then headed off on my adventure.
The flight was lovely (I was nauseous as usual on the plane). I sat next to a Pastor from Naperville named Dave Ferguson. We chatted about kids, family, religion and politics.  I enjoyed every minute of it! I think I talked his ear off. After landing, and not throwing up, I was delighted to be in Chicago! But I forgot how long each of the terminals are- my legs were burning by the time I got to the front to be picked up. Meg was there waiting for me! She is so pretty pregnant.
We hung out, finished projects- checked them off of her mega-nesting list (yowser that thing was huge!), and talked and talked...And loved on Linky, JJ and Hazel of course.

Thursday night I got to meet up with some of my favorite gals from high school.  I hadn't seen them in years and years. I sure love them. Now we are "grown up" it's amazing how much closer you can be just through gaining similar life experience (husbands, jobs, bills, kids, mortgages) and I wish we could've had a sleep-over so we could've talked all night. I love those girls.

Friday was especially eventful. We went to Home Depot to buy a new toilet- it was cold and rainy, so of course the minivan wouldn't start. Jeff came to save us, but we just couldn't jump the van. We went home and organized, sewed, and cleaned... And Meg started having a lot more regular contractions. So by midnight she packed her bags and we headed off to the hospital.

It was so awesome to be there for the birth. Megan was amazing. Louisa was born on Saturday morning, she was perfect.

I got to spend the next two days with Megan at the hospital. We mostly just stared at Louisa, slept and talked. Seriously the best vacation ever!

Since Megan came home on Sunday, I had an extra hang-out day before I had to head home. Yay! So I packed Linky and JJ into the car and headed out to Sycamore to visit one of my favorite places- Ollies (I love you custard ice cream).

Tuesday I headed home. 
I had the best time.