"If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to."
After placing a baby boy for adoption in 1999 (via an open adoption) we met for the first time in 2010 at his sister's high school graduation. His "opening words" to me were, "Hey Cori! Long time, no see!"
He is an amazing young man. He ended up having a musical ability to play the piano that is amazing! He writes his own music and it is phenomenal.
The evening was great. He played the Wii with Landon. That was the first time Landon had played Wii bowling and he had a great time!
I was astounded at how much he and Brynlee look alike...
We became friends on FB but I tried not to comment, to respect his privacy and not intrude. He came to my daughter's baptism last year and the family party afterwards. In his words, "It was the best party ever!"
Last week...he blocked me without any explanation.
Ouch.
I have gone round and round, trying to figure out if I did/said something...if so what? I have sent an email to his mom/dad, asking them to talk with him to see if/where I overstepped bounds. (I haven't commented on one of his posts since December.) If he does want to stop communication, I will, of course, respect his wishes. I can imagine that it is strange for him. He is 13 and IF his friends know about me, I can imagine the possible comments.
"Isn't that weird?"...."You don't really talk to her, do you?"....."Is she going to tell your mom about 'X' post?"
I get it. I honestly do. Open adoptions are tricky and to be honest, this is the first time I have ever questioned the wisdom in it...not for myself, but for him. I have tried to always put his needs first.
I am trying to have faith that my Heavenly Father knows how to help all of us, in each situation...in THIS situation. But to be honest, I wonder when I will stop feeling like my heart is being torn out of my chest. It is still very painful. It's been 13 years for "B" and almost 16 years for "Q". Anyone who says that time heals all wounds has never been a birthmother. It never goes away.
So here I sit, feeling like I'm losing it....and HIM...all over again.
