I was standing in the queue waiting for my turn at a Shoppers' Stop billing counter, clucking impatiently at the time ladies ahead of me in the queue were taking. I couldn't help saying to myself, "Women...! Why do they take so much time? They will open their handbags, take out their wallets, pay money, keep it in the handbag, zip the wallet, keep it inside the handbag, zip the handbag....and God forbid, if they forget something, the whole process starts all over again. Women....!!!"
Whenever a queue adjacent to where I was standing seemed to progress faster than mine (which always, always happens..!), I jumped to join that one (it just struck me, I can join Indian politics too).
Finally when after an eternity, my turn came this is what happened:
The guy at the counter (cute chinky guy): Yes ma'am?
Me (priding myself on the fact that how smooth his dealing will be with me unlike all those kinds of ladies I have described above): Ya. Could you please bill these for me?
Him: Sure ma'am. Do you have a membership card?
Me: Yeah (handing him my sister's Shoppers' Stop card, as I didn't have one, and the parking ticket for 'No parking fee')
Him: Thank you ma'am. Would you like to pay with cash or card?
Me: Card. By the way, if I also wish to have my own membership card, what's the procedure?
Him: You just have to give us your name and contact details and a charge of Rs200.
Me: Sure, I would like to get one made.
Him: Sure ma'am. Here is the form.
Me (trying to balance my wallet that I have taken out of my handbag, which is still unzipped): Sure, I will fill it.
Him (taking the filled form from me and handing me the reciept and the 'no parking fee' reciept): There you go ma'am.
Me (now struggling visibly trying to sign the reciept, putting in my handbag the parking reciept, but not the wallet): Thanks. You haven't returned me my debit card.
Him: Yes ma'am. Here it is and here is your complimentary gift (handing me my new membership card and two booklets on Shoppers Stop and a free music CD)
Me (clutching all the stuff in both my hands with no idea what goes where in my handbag): But you haven't returned me the first membership card that I gave you.
Him: Oh! Yes ma'am, sorry. Here it is...!
Me (putting the debit card, the new SS card in my wallet, closing the wallet, putting it in my handbag, putting the shopping reciept, the other SS card, the parking reciept, the CD and the 2 booklets in my handbag and zipping it): Thanks.
Him: Here's your buy.
Me (now balancing the phone and my extra-heavy handbag): Thanks.
I turned back to meet the hostile stares of the people behind me in the queue. I smile apologetically. The person behind me in the queue (with a disrespectful "finally"), moves to take my place. As I slowly start to worm my way out of the queue, the guy at the counter calls me again.
Him: Excuse me ma'am. Just a second.
Me (going back up to him rearranging the shopping bag, my handbag and my phone between my shoulders and hands): Yeah?
Him: Have I given you the parking reciept?
