the one who started it all

Christmas Day, 1990. Mom brought home our first foster baby, Amelia (whom we called Lindsey . . . except for Jared, who wanted to name her Kirsten and called her that the entire time she was at our house). I was the happiest 6-year-old on the planet. My cousin Brittany was pretty excited, too, obviously. :-) 

By the way, we're still Christmasing with family in Arkansas, so it's totally acceptable for me to be writing Christmas posts, just in case you were wondering.

home for Christmas

Our sweet Olivia, now named Haley Grace, went home with her forever family on Tuesday! Say a prayer of thanksgiving for this Christmas miracle!

advent

ad·vent/ˈadˌvent/ noun. an arrival or coming, especially one which is awaited.

Meet Olivia Hope. She's been awaited. She has arrived. And, unbeknownst to some very blessed family out there, she is COMING!

As you may have already heard, Olivia's staying with us until she's able to go to her adoptive family. We are so thrilled to get to love on her for a little while! The above picture is from the day Trish and I brought her home from the hospital. She was a tiny 5 pounds, 3 ounces. When she went to the doctor for her check-up a week later, she was 6 pounds, 2 ounces! What can I say? We know how to grow babies around here. Olivia's two weeks old now and getting a little closer to chubby every day.   

Though she's only been with us for about a week and a half, baby Olivia has quickly become the golden child of the family. She eats well, she sleeps well, she doesn't cry much, she doesn't spit up, she doesn't whine, she doesn't talk back, she doesn't take my shoes without asking . . . you get the idea. The words "she's perfect" come out of our mouths multiple times a day. She's pretty much an angel. In fact, if you ever see her doing something less than angelic, you should probably call 911 - she might be dying or something. Oh, and she's also gorgeous, which only adds to her angel persona.

And now that I've totally jinxed myself, I'm off to be on baby duty for the night! (edited to add: I wasn't feeling great and was exhausted from working four 12-hour shifts this week, so Trish offered to do last night's feedings - just another of the many reasons I'm so glad Trish is better!)

But first a few pictures for your viewing pleasure . . .

Now tell me that's not an angel . . .

Say a prayer for sweet Olivia and everyone involved in her journey, most notably her birth family and the special family that is being prepared for a different kind of advent this Christmas!

November is . . .

National Adoption Month.

"We adopt not because we are rescuers. No, we adopt because we are the rescued." -David Platt, author of the book Radical . . . currently in China picking up his little girl : )

While I have lots of things I'd love to say about adoption, I'm just going to share a video tonight, because a) I've already made you read one long November post full of statistics, and b) I only have six minutes left in November. This is from The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption (did you know Dave was adopted?). I love them.



"I dare to believe that the luckless will get lucky someday in you. You won't let them down: orphans won't be orphans forever." -Psalm 10:14

November is . . .

Pancreatic Cancer Awareness month.

I stole an article from this site. Allow me to share it with you . . .

Pancreatic cancer is the only cancer tracked by the American Cancer Society and National Cancer Institute with a five-year relative survival rate still in the single digits. At 6 percent, the survival rate for pancreatic cancer has not improved substantially in 40 years.

"The incidence of pancreatic cancer has been on the rise since 1998 and experts predict the upward trend to continue, with a 55 percent increase in pancreatic cancer cases by 2030," said Julie Fleshman, president and CEO of the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network. "During National Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month and beyond we must work together to know, fight and end this deadly disease to save the lives of tens of thousands of Americans in the future.

Pancreatic cancer was recently thrust into the spotlight once again with the passing of technology industry icon Steve Jobs, Nobel Prize winning research scientist Ralph Steinman, MD, and "pianist to the presidents" Roger Williams – all within days of each other. Through the years, this deadly disease has claimed the lives of other luminaries including actors Patrick Swayze and Michael Landon, Carnegie Mellon University Professor and The Last Lecture author Randy Pausch, PhD, and opera tenor Luciano Pavarotti.

But mostly, pancreatic cancer affects the lives of everyday Americans: mothers, fathers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends and colleagues. This year, more than 44,000 Americans will be diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and nearly 38,000 will die from it. In fact, 74 percent of patients die within the first year of their diagnoses because the disease is typically caught at a late stage. There are no early detection tools and few effective treatment options exist.

Two percent of the National Cancer Institute’s (NCI) federal research funding is allocated to pancreatic cancer. The Pancreatic Cancer Action Network is urging the public to Volunteer for Progress by taking simple actions that can make a big difference in the fight against the fourth leading cause of cancer death in the United States. The actions include volunteering with a local affiliate of the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network, participating in events such as PurpleStride or PurpleLight National Vigil for Hope, or contacting their members of Congress to gain their support for more pancreatic cancer research funding.

Who wants to throw up after reading that? I do, I do! I want to throw up because I know those statistics personally. To me, they have names. They have faces. They have families. They have friends.

I subscribe to a pancreatic cancer email list. It is a wonderful little community of patients and caregivers supporting each other through the hardest journey of their lives. I've gotten multiple emails from them each week for the last year. And each week, there is more bad news. Someone else has a recurrence. Someone else's treatment plan fails. Someone else isn't eligible for surgery. Someone else goes on hospice. Someone else dies. When I read the statistics mentioned in the above article, I think of these people. They have names. They have faces. They have families. They have friends. 

And as the daughter of one of those statistics with a name, a face, a family, and lots of friends, I have a request that is not much different from the one I made last year. Do something to help. Visit www.knowitfightitendit.org. Click on the links provided to sign up to be a volunteer for progress or learn how to advocate for more research funding. Write to your members of Congress and ask them to co-sponsor the Pancreatic Cancer Research and Education Act (I'm very proud to say that one of the senators I wrote to last year has since co-sponsored the bill. I'm sure it was because of the life-changing letter I sent him). Donate to www.pancan.org or buy something cute from their store. Pray for a cure.

Speaking of praying, it's Monday. Don't forget to pray for Trish. ; )


ETA: Our friend Kathy (technically our friend LeAn's sister-in-law whom we've never met) needs your prayers. She's also fighting pancreatic cancer and today received the discouraging news that her current treatment plan has stopped working. Please be in prayer for Kathy and her doctors as they try to determine the next steps to take, and pray for God's power and healing to be shown in Kathy's life! 

the notebook

alternately titled: a thankfulness post, one day late (but it's not my fault because I was having a computer crisis last night)


I bought this notebook at Target last year in the days leading up to my mom's surgery.

Then, I used it to keep track of Mom's visitors and friends who brought us food . . . 

. . . as well as her medication schedule (and also a list of good/bad nurses while Mom was in the hospital, but I'll keep their names off the internet).

Yesterday, my mom used this same notebook to plan her Thanksgiving day cooking schedule. And then she cooked. And hosted guests. And ate (a normal sized meal).
 

.
Yes, we have much to be thankful for indeed.

I hope all of your Thanksgivings were as blessed as ours!

a snippet of today

Oh, by the way, that's not her real hair.

Trish to me: (referring to a sick friend of hers who needs surgery) "They can't put him to sleep because he has a heart condition."

Tekia: (surprised) "I didn't know they put people to sleep."

me: "For surgery!"


Thank you, God, for adoption. How boring would our family be if it had ended with me?? 

God says YES.

If you need a reminder of God's faithfulness today, look no further. I've got a great God story for you. This post is a long one, but it's worth the read - I promise. Plus, there's a super-adorable slideshow at the end. Anyway, here's the story.

In June of 2009, I met a woman named Yvonne at Halle/Niva Grace's adoption ceremony. Yvonne was there with her little boy, Wynton, who had spent the first few weeks of his life in pre-adopt foster care with Halle's mom. It was there that someone gave Yvonne a link to this blog, and she decided to visit (to see pictures of the beautiful Halle, of course!). She left a nice comment for me (oh, look, here it is). I replied. The end.

Or not. It was over a year later before I "met" Yvonne again. My family was in the middle of the greatest trial we've ever faced. You remember. It was October 2010, and my mom was a month out from what many medical professionals describe as the worst surgery ever. She was starting chemotherapy for pancreatic cancer. One day, out of the blue, my friend Claire sent me an email about Yvonne. Claire had been the case worker for Yvonne's son Wynton (as well as several of our foster babies). She told me a little bit about Yvonne and her husband Petrick's story...they'd suffered the loss of multiple biological children...they'd experienced several failed adoptions...their newest baby girl Lauren had recently lived and died in my NICU. Claire also told me that Yvonne was still reading my blog, and that the way I'd written about our family's trials had been helpful to Yvonne as she faced the premature birth and loss of her daughter. She also shared with me a link to Yvonne's blog, which I promptly visited.

I went to Yvonne's blog and read about the children she'd loved, most of whom she'd lost...her sons Peter and Peyton who were born too early at 15 and 16 weeks...several babies that she and Petrick had planned to adopt but whose birth mothers ultimately decided to parent them...her little boy Wynton who was the best Christmas present she ever received...and finally, her daughter Lauren Victoria who was also born too soon at 23 weeks. Yvonne spent a month in the hospital before delivering Lauren, and Lauren spent four days in the NICU before going to be with Jesus. I was off work taking care of my mom during this time, so unfortunately I never knew Lauren.

You know how you sometimes feel like you know a person after reading their blog? Well, after reading Yvonne's blog and knowing that she'd been reading mine, that's how I felt. I felt like I knew her, and, as strange as it may sound, I wished I could've been there to be her daughter's nurse. I watched videos of Lauren and listened to the voices of my co-workers as they cared for her, and I wished I could've been the one caring for her. I looked at her pictures, and I wished I had been the one taking them (because you know how I feel about babies and pictures, right?). I wish I could've stamped her tiny footprints on pink paper, and I wished I could've placed her in her mama's arms for the first time. 

I ended up emailing Yvonne, just to share those thoughts with her, tell her I was praying for her, and tell her how precious her baby girl was. She told me that she knew I worked in the NICU and that she had hoped I'd be taking care of Lauren, too. She also told me that she'd been praying for my mom (and has since shared with me that, while she was on bedrest last year, she checked my blog daily for Tricia updates) and that my faith throughout Mom's cancer journey had really ministered to her in her pain. And then she said these words, "Even after Lauren died, I still knew that someway, somehow God was going to make things better. I'm still waiting, but I know he is going to do it."

If I didn't have this exchange saved in my inbox, I probably wouldn't believe it happened. I never could've imagined where God would take mine and Yvonne's relationship next.

My mom spent most of her winter months cooped up in the house, so weak and sick that she rarely left her recliner. By springtime, she was starting to feel more like herself again and was still cancer-free! And then summer brought something (or someone) that we never thought we'd have at our house again...a foster baby. Keeping foster babies was something my mom so missed doing while she was sick and something she prayed she would one day be able to do again. Little Patricia was an answer to prayer for our family. Her presence in our home meant things were normal again (or at least as "normal" as things ever are at our house). Trish and I took turns doing all the mom things with Little P...bathing, feeding, getting up with her at night, etc. And everyone else enjoyed loving on her when she wasn't crying, spitting, or pooping. 😉 Mom had a special bond with Little P. Possibly because they shared the same name, but probably because Little P was a such a beautiful reminder of God's faithfulness to our family.

We prayed often that God would provide just the right family to raise Little P. We tried to guess who that family might be and dreamed about who we wished it could be. But God surprised us with a better idea than any of us could've dreamed up on our own.

You see, a year ago, I emailed Yvonne and told her I wished I could've taken care of her baby girl. As it turns out, nine months later, I did. I wished I could've taken her pictures and made her footprints. Nine months later, I did. I wished I could've placed her in her mama's arms for the first time. Nine months later, I did. A year ago, Yvonne was grieving her firstborn daughter. She was also praying for healing for a woman she didn't even know. Nine months later, that same woman was caring for the baby who would become Yvonne's second daughter. 

On August 8, Mom placed Little P, now named Madison Grace, into the arms of Yvonne, her mama forever.

I don't think there has ever been a big brother so in love with his little sister!

So many prayers were prayed in each of these situations...prayers by Yvonne for my mom, prayers by Yvonne and Petrick for God to "make things better", prayers by me for Yvonne and Petrick, prayers by my family for baby Madison. And God, in all of His glorious genius, heard these cries for help, threw them all together, and said YES. He has the best ideas.



So the moral of the story is...read my blog and pray for my family today, and in a couple years, we might give you a baby.

(Just kidding. Maybe.)

trick or TREAT!!!

No tricks from Dr. Tauer's office today! We got a major treat! Mom's scan was completely unchanged, meaning the enlarged lymph nodes are still showing up but have not changed at all in over 3 months . . . and also meaning the rest of her scan (i.e., her liver and other probable sites for metastasis) was completely clear!

Though it wasn't an "all clear", every scan that shows those nodes as "unchanged" is more evidence that they're not cancer. : ) Dr. Tauer's exact words were "It looks great!" He was very encouraged and is just as amazed by God's goodness as the rest of us. He said Mom looks better and better every time he sees her. We actually talked more about more non-cancer stuff than we did about cancer stuff, which is always a good sign. Mom's tumor markers will take a few days to come back, so be praying for those to be normal.

Mom's next scan will be January 10, 2012. Dr. T was comfortable waiting 4 months for another scan. We opted for 3 months, which really turned into more like 2 months after they coordinated it with her Herceptin schedule.

Go ahead and start praying about the scan in January, and send up lots of prayers of thanksgiving for the awesome news we received today! God has definitely showed us His glory!

Oh, and happy Halloween from Jamier and Jamal! : )

(Jamier on the left, Jamal on the right . . . in case you couldn't tell.)

pink and purple and blessed all over

Oh, hey, friends. My name is Callie. Remember me?

Sorry my blog has been rather boring lately. If it makes you feel any better, I've been working on a really long and awesome story (a true story, that is) that I've been meaning to post for like two months now. But first an update on your favorite blog hog, Trish . . .

First of all, it's breast cancer awareness month and almost pancreatic cancer awareness month. And how cool is it that I just found a graphic with both pink and purple ribbons? It's like it was made for Trish! Did I really just get excited about that? Yep, I really did.

I actually have no update yet. I just wanted to remind everyone to be praying, because my mom's next CT scan/appointment with her oncologist is TOMORROW! Happy Halloween! Who wants to make bets on what Dr. Tauer will be dressed as? Twenty bucks says he's Mickey Mouse. Or a pancreatic adenocarcinoma cell (now that's scary!). It's definitely going to be one of those.

As you long-time Tricia fans already know, we've been watching (well, technically Dr. T and radiology have been watching) three enlarged lymph nodes in Mom's chest and abdomen for about 3 1/2 months now. We have no idea if those lymph nodes are cancer or not. Her last CT scan was two months ago, and it was unchanged from her scan in July. If you need a refresher about her last appointment, click here.

Trish saw Dr. Behrman (surgeon) last month, and he was so pleased with her Whipple recovery that he doesn't want to see her again for a year! He also didn't seem the least bit concerned about the enlarged lymph nodes. Mom's tumor markers in August were normal (for both breast cancer and pancreatic cancer). The routine blood work that's done every three weeks (when she gets Herceptin) has been normal. And she's still looking and feeling great! So, while we have no idea what to expect tomorrow, we're very hopeful that we will receive more good news. I told Mom a few minutes ago that I'm starting to worry because I'm not worried. Weird.

Anyway, here are the requests for tomorrow . . .

• A clear (or unchanged) scan. We're expecting those mystery lymph nodes to show up; we're just hoping they haven't changed. And those of us who are really crazy are hoping God has fixed this problem completely and we'll get an "all clear!" : )
• Normal tumor markers
• Wisdom for Dr. Tauer
• Peace for our hearts 
• God's glory to be revealed

We'll talk to Dr. Tauer and get the results of the scan tomorrow. I'll be at the clinic with Trish and will post the results as soon as I can. The tumor markers will take a few days.

Thanks for praying!

Halle is three.

I got a surprise phone call a couple of days ago, and a tiny voice on the other end of the line said, "I want to see you."

The sweetest little girl in Iowa turned three today (did I mention they moved to Iowa? They did. In May. Hence her wanting to see me.). Not a day goes by that I don't think of her, miss her, and pray for her.

It's hard to believe that three October 5th's ago, I'd never even heard of her.

happy whipple day

One year ago today, my mom spent 8.5 hours in surgery while hundreds of prayer warriors stormed the gates of heaven on her behalf. Volunteering to pray during specified time slots, our friends made sure that a prayer was being said for Mom during every moment of her Whipple surgery. They also made sure that the rest of us were not alone as we waited - forty friends came by to love us, feed us, and pray with us during our 10-hour stay in the waiting room. Nearly 400 people visited this blog throughout the day checking for updates. Our facebook pages and phones overflowed with messages of support, encouragement, and love.

To each of you who said a prayer, who came to visit, who brought a meal, who sent a message of hope - "thank you" doesn't seem sufficient. But thank you, thank you, thank you. God has carried us through the last year with amazing grace and He's used you to do it. Your kindness and love still overwhelm me.

One year later, Trish still has no pancreatic cancer in sight!

Happy Whipple Day. : )

 

  
"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy!" -Psalm 126:3


P.S. One of those friends who waited at the hospital with us was our dear friend Nancy, who unexpectedly passed away this past Thursday. She and her husband Don have loved my mom as one of their own since she was a little girl. My parents and some other friends had just been out to dinner with Nancy and Don the night before she died. Please keep her family and friends in your prayers, especially this weekend.

I was in English class.

something normal

Trish/Granna and her oldest grandson Hunter during Camp Granna last month . . . Granna is probably the only person with whom Hunter will willingly pose for pictures!

So you may have already heard this news from Trish or me on facebook. Or, if you're like my mom's sister, you heard from one of your co-workers (oops! sorry, Aunt Bernie!). Anyway, the latest good news we've gotten is that my mom's tumor markers are still NORMAL!

In no way does this mean we're in the clear. Tumor markers are not always reliable; thus, those mystery lymph nodes could still be cancer. However, with normal tumor markers, we can still hold out hope that they're not cancer. And that is a very good thing! We like to hold out hope around here. : )

Trish is feeling great. She has a routine appointment with Dr. B (surgeon) next Tuesday. I'll let you know if anything noteworthy comes from that visit!

the Saturday evening post (aka, the latest on Trish)

Okay, here's the detailed version of Tuesday's visit with Dr. Tauer, for those of you who are really nosy. :-) As I said before, Mom's CT scan was unchanged, which is a good thing. Obviously, we would've rather heard "all clear", but we weren't really expecting that. And we wanted some definite answers about what's going with those enlarged lymph nodes, but the only way we'll get that is if we do a biopsy. And since "unchanged" means the nodes are still too small to biopsy, that's definitely a good thing! The nodes in question are two enlarged lymph nodes in her chest and one in her abdomen. We didn't find out about the one her abdomen until now, even though it's been there. This worries us, because it could be the pancreatic cancer (PC). The ones in her chest are more likely to be breast cancer (BC). Neither would be good, but there are definitely more treatment options available for BC. Mom said, "I don't know whether I should wear pink or purple!" (Purple is the PC awareness color, and I'm sure you know that pink is the BC awareness color).

It is still entirely possible that none of this is cancer. Lymph nodes swell for all kinds of reasons. Dr. Tauer said the lymph node in Mom's abdomen could be post-surgical (i.e., caused by something Whipple-related). I've read online that Crohn's disease (which Mom also has) can cause enlarged lymph nodes. And Trish also has a stent (from the Whipple) floating around in her intestines that could be causing inflammation. So who knows. As far as the lymph nodes in her chest go, we learned last week (thanks to some in-depth googling by yours truly) that those could be caused by a complication of the reconstruction surgery Trish had after her mastectomy in 2001. We (along with Dr. T) will be discussing that possibility more with Mom's plastic surgeon. We really have no clue. Dr. Tauer has no clue. But he was very pleased with the results of Mom's scan and wants to continue to monitor these mystery lymph nodes closely. Mom will have another CT scan in two months, on Halloween day.

As far for Mom's tumor markers, we have no word on them yet. They're a send-out lab, so it takes a day to get the results. If they're bad, Dr. T will call and let Mom know (at least that's what he did the last time, which was seven years ago). If they're good, Mom gets a postcard in the mail. Yes, we could call the clinic and find out, but we're not worried enough to do that. We will, though, if a postcard doesn't arrive next week! So, as many on facebook have said, pray for a postcard!

Mom will see Dr. Behrman (remember him? the Whipple surgeon?) for a routine follow-up appointment in a couple of weeks. He may have something to say about the lymph node in her abdomen. We'll see.

And the prayer requests are as follows:

• Mom's next CT scan is October 31st. Pray for good news!
• the mystery lymph nodes . . . pray for no further growth and for whatever's causing that inflammation to go away! 
• normal tumor markers . . . pray for a postcard!
• wisdom for Mom's doctors - Dr. Tauer, Dr. Adams, and Dr. Behrman - as well as wisdom for Trish as they all work together to make the right decisions
• praise, praise, praise and thanksgiving for God's grace and faithfulness . . . Mom is now a 10-year breast cancer survivor and a 1-year pancreatic cancer survivor! Amazing!

always faithful

I know some of you probably want more details about Trish's doctor's appointment yesterday. And I promise to provide those soon, but, tonight I need to blog about something else. Tonight I need to take a minute to make sure anyone reading this blog understands just how great God's faithfulness is. Because it is so great.

Ten years ago this month, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. Seven years ago this month, her breast cancer progressed to stage IV when it metastasized to her liver. According to medicine, her prognosis was terminal. She survived. One year ago today, hundreds - probably thousands - of prayer warriors stormed the gates of heaven begging for God to spare my mom from another fight with cancer. One year ago today, we were disappointed with the answer He gave. One year ago today and every day before and since, He has remained faithful.

On August 31, 2010, my mom, dad, and I sat in an exam room at The West Clinic and received some of the hardest news of our lives: my mom had pancreatic cancer. We were shocked and devastated. We went out to eat (we tend to do that whether we get good news or bad . . . why not?), and then I came home and wrote this post. I wasn't sure I'd be still be posting updates about my mom a year later. I knew that only about 20% of people with pancreatic cancer survived a year after diagnosis, and most of them probably didn't have a history of stage IV breast cancer. But here we are, one year and thousands of prayers later . . . I'm blogging about Trish, and she's currently rocking a baby girl to sleep. Great is His faithfulness!

I've read and re-read the post I wrote a year ago today. Whenever I need a reminder of God's faithfulness, all I have to do is go back and read my "Tricia" posts from last fall and winter. Try it. Depressing as it may sound, it's encouraging to go back to those hard days and be reminded of how far my mom has come and how God has been working in our lives all along. He's done so much more than we could've imagined. He's walked with us through fires we were sure we'd never make it through. He's blessed us in ways we never saw coming. I simply don't have the words to express how thankful and amazed I am. My cup runneth over.


(Not my favorite video, but definitely my favorite version of one of my favorite songs. It has often been played in the dark quiet of my room when I've run out of words.)

"I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."  -Lamentations 3:19-23

mystery unsolved

Hey friends. Sorry for not getting to the blog until midnight! Hopefully you've already seen or heard our good news. If not, I'll just give you the short, facebook status version of Mom's doctor's appointment today. Trish's CT scan is unchanged from 6 weeks ago. The two enlarged lymph nodes in her chest are the same, as is the one enlarged lymph node in her abdomen (which we just found out about today, but has apparently been there for who knows how long). This is great news, because it means that, if it is cancer, it's not growing. It also means there's still a possibility that it might not be cancer! So guess what we get to do? Watch and wait. Again. Dr. Tauer wants to do another CT scan in two months. Thanks for all your prayers and please keep them coming!

More details to come, I promise. :-) 

such a blog hog

Pray hard, Team Tricia - tomorrow is my mom's next big scan! As you probably know, it's mainly being done to check on those enlarged lymph nodes in her chest, but we know her pancreatic cancer could show up again at any moment. So just pray for a scan that's clear of all types of cancer!

Mom had blood work done when she got her herceptin a couple weeks ago. We prayed for normal tumor markers. If you're wondering why I never posted the results of those tests, it's because we never received them. As it turned out, somehow her tumor markers didn't get done. That's a little frustrating, but we weren't too upset about it because we've been focused on other things. I don't want to elaborate on this too much, because we don't know anything for sure . . . but I will say that we received some encouraging news last week. :-) I think I'm even a little bit excited about tomorrow (weird). We're cautiously planning on good news. And we're planning on God sustaining us even if we don't get good news.

And we're also planning on spending the afternoon playing with a really cute 11-month-old. Oh, because there's one at our house right now. Baby Z's foster family is out of the country, so she's hanging with us for the next week. Respite care is fun. Did I mention she's really cute? Because she is.

Okay, back to Trish (she's such a blog hog) . . . I think we have to be at the clinic at 10 in the morning. Trish will have lab (tumor markers for real this time), then the CT scan, and then see Dr. Tauer. Hopefully we'll have some news to report by lunchtime.  

Here are the prayer requests for tomorrow in review:

• a scan that shows no cancer or disease of any kind anywhere in Mom's body
• normal tumor markers
• some definite answers to whatever's going on in these mystery lymph nodes . . . preferably answers that include fixable problems!
• wisdom for Dr. Tauer
• peace for our hearts
• God's glory to be revealed

Also, I want to follow-up on the prayer requests I posted a few weeks ago.

• After a grueling round of chemo, a biopsy that showed remission(!), and five and a half weeks in the hospital, our friend Karen got to go home last week! Pray that God will strengthen her as she enjoys this time at home with her family and that her leukemia will remain in remission.
• Our friend LeAn's sister-in-law Kathy starts her chemo for pancreatic cancer tomorrow at 9am! Her treatment has been delayed a few weeks because she's been in the hospital with elevated bilirubin (sound familiar? Trish had that problem this time last year). Pray that her treatment this week will be hard on the bad cells and easy on the good! LeAn keeps a caringbridge site for Kathy here.
• I didn't share this last time, but our friend Joan had a PET scan today - her first after the latest change in her treatment for her lung cancer. Pray that she'll get good news when she meets with her doctor on Wednesday!

Goodnight, dear blog readers. I'll post some news tomorrow!

just another manic Monday

Last week was busy with Camp Granna activities (and an adoption ceremony!), and the past few days I've been a bit under the weather, so my blog has gotten neglected. But I wanted to pop in real quick and remind everyone to pray for Trish today! She's still feeling great. She goes to West Clinic for a herceptin treatment tomorrow, and we plan on asking them to draw her tumor markers again. Pray for normal blood work tomorrow and a clear scan on August 30th!

Big P and Little P in late July

a little about a little p

 

Yes, Little P is still with us. Yes, she over a month old now. Yes, I've only dedicated one post to her (and even that one post she had to share with Trish).

Usually when we have a foster baby, his/her pictures and updates are plastered all over my blog on a pretty regular basis. Unfortunately, due to vacations and cancer and just general summer craziness, I'm afraid Little P has gotten the short end of the stick in the blog department.

I don't think she's too happy about it, either.

 

It's okay, Little P. I promise you are just as adorable and have been just as photographed as all of our other babies. See?

Little P (or maybe I should say Not-so-little P) went to the doctor this week and weighed a whopping 9 lbs, 1 oz! She was 6 lbs, 12 oz at birth. What can I say? The girl likes her food. Just what kind of food she likes has yet to be determined. Due to fussiness and spitting up issues (and possibly some diva issues?), we're on our third formula, and she seems to like it the best so far. In fact, she likes it so much that she wants to wake up every four hours and eat some. I know what you're thinking - "Callie, she's a newborn. Of course she wants to eat every four hours." You don't know this newborn. This newborn started sleeping all night (we're talking 7-8 hours) on her second night home from the hospital! She's advanced. And, while she is a bit of a diva sometimes, we think that just gives her more character.

Oh, yeah, and she smiles now. And every once in a while she'll let out a little coo. I've yet to get a picture that showcases her adorable dimples, but I'm not giving up.

By far the most exciting news in the life of Little P is that she met her family last week! I can't wait to tell you all about her mom, dad, and big brother. I'll post pictures and share details when things are a little more official. I'll also share her new name! She's glad to finally be called something that doesn't sound like a child rap star. ;-)

Little P's "Gotcha Day" is set for Monday! Until then, we're soaking up every second we can. :-) 

Jesus in my driveway

Jesus came to our house last Wednesday night. At first they just looked like a bunch of regular teenagers, but, by the time they left, I was certain Jesus was among them.

When we first saw the group of teens park their cars in front of our house, we thought they were some hoodlums who came to pick a fight with Jamal (he'd received a weird prank call earlier that evening). The men of the house weren't home. Tekia was so freaked out that she took the baby to the back of the house and locked the two of them in a bathroom. She swore she saw bullet holes in one of the cars. ;-) Trish went out to talk to them, while I stood at the back door with phone in hand in case one of them started to cause trouble.

Mom went outside and called into the dark, "Can I help you?"

Teens/Jesus: "Um, we came to pray with you."

Oops. (By this time, Mom could tell who they were.) 

Okay, then, I guess we won't call the police on you. Or fight you. 

After chatting for a few minutes and then praying over Trish, they grabbed their sidewalk chalk and went to work on a masterpiece that brought tears to my eyes and continues to bless us daily.

Check out the driveway love they left for us (click to see bigger).

 

 

Thank you, Jesus, for sending your people to speak truth to our hearts (and our driveway). And for making us laugh along the way.

a post about PET scans, plans, and prayers

Okay, as promised, I'm back to give you all the details on Tricia's latest doctor's visit. This post will be long. Consider yourself warned.

The enlarged lymph nodes that Dr. T saw on Mom's CT scan last Monday did light up on her PET scan on Thursday, which would lead us to believe that there is cancer there. However, the nodes are too small to biopsy, and, as Mom has had two types of cancer, Dr. T doesn't want to do anything without a biopsy. So right now we're kind of stuck. We're going to watch and wait and go back in 4 weeks (August 30th) for another CT scan. If the nodes are normal-sized, then we do nothing and assume it was a fluke (provided Mom's tumor markers are still normal and she's still symptom-free). If they're larger or if there are more involved (or if Mom's having symptoms or has elevated tumor markers), then I'm sure Dr. T will further investigate. If everything's the same, who knows?

Now, as you probably already know, we've got two cancers to consider here (at least we hope it's just two!). There's Mom's breast cancer (BC), which was last seen in her liver in 2004; she's been NED (no evidence of disease) on the BC front ever since. And then there's the pancreatic cancer (PC), which was removed via surgery last September. The lymph nodes closest to Mom's PC tumor were removed in surgery, and five of them tested positive for PC. Even though Mom's BC is stage IV and her PC was stage II, the PC is more of a concern to us because there are very few options for treating PC (and basically no effective treatment options, according to medicine). Hence, if this new finding turns out to be cancer, we want it to be BC, because there are several different treatment options available for Mom's type of BC.

Because of the location of these new enlarged lymph nodes, Dr. T still feels this is very unlikely to be PC, which is great news. These nodes are located in the center of Mom's chest, closer to her original BC site. Dr. T says that it's likely that Mom's BC has cloned itself into a form that's resistant to herceptin (the drug that Trish has been receiving for the last 7 years to keep her BC away) and started growing again in these lymph nodes. Upon looking back at Mom's last PET scan from last August, Dr. T noticed that this same area in her chest took up some of the radioactive dye back then; but it was subtle enough that it wasn't concerning. So that's discouraging, as it seems to point to cancer being present there a year ago. What's encouraging (and also puzzling) about this is that Mom's BC tumor markers are normal, and, in the past, they have always been elevated when her BC was growing.

False positives are pretty common on PET scans, as any infection, inflammation, or increased activity can make body parts "light up." Just to give you an idea of how sensitive these things are . . . after being injected with the radioactive dye, Trish has to lie in a recliner in a dark room for an hour before the scan. She can't talk or read. She can't even work a crossword puzzle because that might increase activity in her brain and make it light up on the scan. So there is still a possibility that this could turn out to be nothing, but the fact something showed up on last year's scan makes it more worrisome.

We've known Dr. T for almost ten years now and can usually read him pretty well. We've seen him happy and encouraged, and we've seen him grim and somber. Mom and I both agreed that he was difficult to read this time. When he could tell we were trying to read his mind (apparently we weren't hard to read, ha), he told us that he's worried by the PET scan results. And then a few minutes later he noted that he's encouraged by Mom's normal BC tumor markers. So who knows, really? Who knows if this is breast cancer? Who knows if it's pancreatic cancer? Who knows if it's some other kind of cancer? Who knows if it's cancer at all? One thing we know for sure, though, and that is that God is alive and at work here, just as He always has been. Before leaving, Dr. T reminded Mom that "the Lord's been all over this since the beginning." And there's nothing hard to read about that. :-)

On to the prayer requests . . .

• Pray for total and complete healing from all types of cancer and anything else that might be going on in my mother's very abnormal body! It's Monday, by the way. ;-)
• In two weeks (August 16th), Mom goes for her normal herceptin treatment, and we plan on asking for tumor markers (both BC and PC) to be drawn again. Pray that both of these will be normal!
• Mom's follow-up CT scan will be August 30th. Pray for a real all clear! Pray for whatever's going on in Mom's lymph nodes to completely resolved by then.
• Pray for Dr. T as he plans Mom's care and that of his other patients.
• Pray for our friend Karen and her family. Karen went through a round with breast cancer three years ago and has recently been diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia. She's been in the hospital for the last two weeks going through some pretty intense chemo. She has a second bone marrow biopsy coming up soon.
• Pray for Kathy and her family. Kathy has recently been diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer and has a PET scan tomorrow. She should start chemo sometime this week.
• Pray that each of us will feel God's peace and presence and that we will trust Him always.
• Pray that God will continue to reveal His glory throughout every twist and turn of this roller coaster. Pray that we, as well others, will come to know Him more and love Him better because of this experience.

Ten years ago this week, my mom found a lump in her breast. Our family has been through a crazy ride with many highs and lows over the last decade, and God has been faithful through it all. We never could've imagined the challenges He would allow us to face and the blessings that He would shower upon us along the way. We're still riding. And we still serve a God who is always faithful. My cup runneth over.


P.S. I know there was a lot of medical info in this post. If I forgot to address something or if you have a question, feel free to leave a comment and I'll do my best to answer.

because I know they're reading . . .

Hi, Mom & Dad! I can't wait to meet you!

rehearsal

Good advice from David . . . 

"When my soul is in the dumps, I rehearse everything I know of You." -Psalm 42:6

I was planning on posting more details about our talk with Dr. Tauer, but today I've spent more time on some much-needed rehearsal. I have flash cards for this task. One day I'll show you.

Details and specific prayer requests coming tomorrow. Or the next day. Or sometime in the next 5 weeks. ;-)

expect the unexpected

The roller coaster continues. The lymph nodes did show up as positive on the PET. However, they are too small to biopsy, and Dr. T's not going to do anything without a biopsy. So the plan is to watch them and do another scan in 5 weeks. Both breast and pancreatic tumor markers are normal. I think Dr. T expects this to be breast cancer that has become resistant to herceptin, but he's encouraged by the normal tumor markers. Or it could still be something benign. 5 weeks to pray. You're not limited to Mondays. ;-)

I'll post a more detailed update later today.

roller coaster

Trish, Little P, and I are headed to see Dr. T with our roller coaster faces on! I'll post when I have some news.

further explanation and some more good news!

Okay, so today I'm sure I have good news. Trish's tumor markers (for breast cancer) are totally NORMAL!

A little lesson in tumor markers for the non-cancer folks . . . certain cancers cause certain tumor markers in the blood to rise. Not all cancers have reliable tumor markers, but Mom's particular breast cancer (BC) has always resulted in elevated tumor markers when it's growing. Usually the markers will rise before the cancer is big enough to show up on a scan. Tumor markers are not used to diagnose (it's more like they give little hints), so we still can't rule out a recurrence of breast cancer until after Thursday's PET scan. But normal tumor markers are definitely a good sign. :-)

I should also mention that, although there is a tumor marker for pancreatic cancer (PC), it is not nearly as reliable as the BC ones. In fact, Dr. Tauer wouldn't even run it if we didn't ask him to. We don't know if it's normal right now or not - they'll do that test on Thursday (per Mom's request, per my request).

And now for some further explanation of yesterday's visit with Dr. T . . .

These every-3-months CT scans are mainly to check for recurrence of Trish's pancreatic cancer (PC). Her surgeon once told her that PC has a 90% chance of recurrence after surgery, and, as I've mentioned before, it's very difficult to treat. So we have to keep a close eye on it. If the PC returns, it's likely to show up in the abdomen (probably the liver, which could get tricky since that's the last place her breast cancer was!). Because the CT scan of Mom's abdomen was all clear, Dr. T feels pretty certain that Mom is still free from pancreatic cancer. This is great news! Miraculous, actually.

As I said yesterday, the scan showed some enlarged lymph nodes near Mom's original breast cancer site (from way back in 2001). Any number of non-cancerous things can cause lymph nodes to swell, so we're hopeful this is nothing to worry about. Dr. Tauer did not act alarmed or grim (both of which we've seen from him before). However, given Mom's history, this is something that needs to be further investigated and quickly - just in case it is something to worry about. Hence the PET scan on Thursday.
 
And that brings me to my next lesson for the non-cancer peeps - PET scans! If you're wondering why Trish needs a PET scan when she just had a CT scan, keep reading. A CT scan shows any type of lesion - it's basically a bunch of x-rays. It can't differentiate between malignant and benign tumors/masses/lymph nodes. A PET scan can (usually). With a PET scan, the patient is injected with a radioactive substance that makes areas with abnormal metabolic activity "light up" on the scan. Thus, cancer will show up as a "hot spot." A PET scan cannot differentiate between different types of cancer. So if Mom's enlarged lymph nodes show up as hot while her breast cancer tumor markers are normal, a biopsy would probably be the next step. Hot lymph nodes could mean the pancreatic cancer has worked its way up to the chest (possible, but not likely), the breast cancer has returned without affecting Mom's tumor markers (also possible, but not likely), a new cancer has started from scratch (possible, but seriously?!), or something else weird and random has happened. The point is this: pray for no hot spots on the PET scan!

Trix will remain radioactive for several hours after the PET scan. But she will not glow in the dark. Bummer, I know.

Typically, Mom sees Dr. T after a scan and gets the results immediately. But since they didn't have a lot of notice with this one, it had to be scheduled on a day that Dr. T is out of the office. :-( So it's possible - if not probable - that we won't find out the results of the PET scan until Mom sees Dr. T again next Tuesday. Can you say 'long weekend'?

Anyway, here are the latest prayer requests . . .

• praise and thanksgiving for a clear abdomen and normal tumor markers!
• praise and thanksgiving for the fact that Trish is still feeling great!
• a clear PET scan on Thursday (i.e., no "hot spots")
• complete healing from pancreatic cancer and breast cancer and whatever could be causing enlarged lymph nodes
• God to reveal his glory every step of the way . . . us not to miss a moment.

Lots of you have asked how we're doing. We're doing great! Really. I'm not sure if that means we have a freakishly unshakable faith (doubt it) or we're crazy (probably) or that cancer has beaten us down so much we've become desensitized to the punches. Probably a mix of all of the above. Whatever the reason, we're having a good week here at home. Thanks for being a part of it. Your prayers and encouragement mean more than you know. :-)

good news? bad news?

Little P is rather unhappy with me (and, apparently, life in general) right now, so I'll just post a quick update that some of you have probably already seen on facebook.

Sorry to keep you in suspense. Even more sorry that I can't just post "all clear" and be done with it. Here's the news from today, which we know isn't the worst, but may not be the best . . . Mom's scan showed some enlarged lymph nodes around her original breast cancer site. Because her abdomen was completely clean, Dr. T feels that this is very unlikely to be related to the pancreatic cancer. He feels that it's more likely related to the breast cancer, but most likely to be something totally random and not caused by either cancer. Still, he wants to do a PET scan just to be sure. Mom will have that done on Thursday morning. Still waiting on her tumor markers from today. Keep praying!

I'll try to post more details later if Little Miss P will cooperate. :-)

3 months later

Three more months have come and gone, and a beautiful three months they have been. We got home last night from a week at the beach (Little P was so excited to see us that she stayed up 'til 3am just to play - what a sweetheart!). Now it's back to the real world - a world that, unfortunately, includes doctors' visits and CT scans and chemo rooms. A world that, fortunately, is only temporary.

It's time for another CT scan for my mom. Tomorrow morning she'll have a scan (as well as blood work) to check for any signs of cancer recurrence in her body. We pray for another good report, but we're very aware - as we are on every scan day - that tomorrow could bring news we don't want to hear. [Oh, by the way, I. hate. scandays.] Trish is feeling great, though! She said a few days ago that this has been her favorite summer ever. We are blessed.

As usual, we'd appreciate your prayers . . . for a scan that's all clear, for normal tumor markers, for peace that passes understanding, for trust that seems crazy, for God's glory to be revealed. As usual, I know I don't even have to ask. After all, it's a Monday anyway. :-)

I'll update tomorrow.


p.s. If you've ever wanted to meet our favorite oncologist, Dr. T, check out this video. He's recently appeared on two episodes of the Lifetime morning show, The Balancing Act (you can find the other video if you search "breast cancer" on the site). What I'm trying to say is, we'll be hanging out with a celebrity tomorrow. I'll try to get you an autograph.

We went to the beach and took family pictures.

You've been warned.

sandy

"No, Chase, you can't take a picture with my camera right now because you're too sandy. You might get sand on the camera."

Apparently that was not what he wanted to hear.

back in the saddle again

In the notes section of my phone, there is still a to-do list labeled "BW", which stands for "Before Whipple." Little did I know when I entitled that list that is exactly how time would be measured over the next several months. Before Whipple. After Whipple. Everything was normal before the Whipple, before my mom got pancreatic cancer. So much was not normal afterward, for so much longer than we expected. However, little by little, normalcy (or something like it) has crept back into our lives and we (mainly Mom) have found ourselves experiencing so many things for the first time again.

First day home. First trip to church. First time to go out to eat. First time to go shopping. First time to sleep all night. First time to stay awake all day. First Christmas. First time to hold a baby. First time to celebrate a birthday. First time to eat lunch with Tekia at school. First garden.

We had another first last week - our first vacation! (our trip was amazing, we made so many great friends, and I'll blog about it soon!) Trish did awesome. So awesome, in fact, that two days after getting home she added another first to the list.

First foster baby.

Yep, seriously. Are we crazy or what? 

Foster care was one of the many "normal" things that cancer took from us. Last fall, we weren't sure that Mom would ever have the opportunity or the ability to care for another baby (and neither would Dad or I, as we'd be taking care of her and the kids). But after her last clear CT scan back in April, one of the first things I did was send our social worker a text from the chemo room telling her she could put us back on her "list." :-)

So here we are. Meet Little P.

A sweet baby girl who was born last week and needs a place to stay for a little while. Maybe a few days. Maybe a few weeks. Whatev.

Wanna guess what the P stands for? Oh, you know, just Patricia. As in, my mom's first name. How great is that? We hadn't planned on taking any babies until we were done with our summer traveling (we're going on our original family vacation with the whole family next week) . . . but how could we say no to a Patricia?? Especially a Patricia who didn't have anywhere to go? So we didn't say no, because that would've been silly.

We originally thought she'd move to her new family by the end of this week, but now it's looking like she'll be around a little longer. So she'll stay with another family while we're on our trip and will likely return to our house when we get back (unless she's able to go to her adoptive family before then, which would, of course, be great for her). For now we're enjoying getting to love on her while we can! Jamal and Kia are at camp this week, so Little P has our undivided attention.

On the schedule for tomorrow is her first photo shoot. But right now I'm headed up to my area of the house with a baby, a bottle, and a binkie (normally I prefer paci, but obviously binkie sounded cooler here). I'm off work tomorrow, so I'm on baby duty tonight.

We are so happy to be back. Can't believe we've been blessed enough to get to do this again. :-)

Inheritance of Hope

So I have a bit of exciting family news to share . . . 

No, it does not involve a new baby.

Or a new squirrel.

Yes, it does involve DISNEY WORLD!

Thanks to an awesome organization called Inheritance of Hope, this time next week the Memphis half of my family will be playing in Disney World!

Inheritance of Hope is a nonprofit Christian organization that serves children and families with a parent who's been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness (or, in our case, a parent who's been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness twice . . . way to be an overachiever, Trish). IOH provides "cost-free, worry-free" vacations to these families in the form of trips called Legacy Retreats. A few months ago, one of my mom's friends told her about IOH and asked if she could nominate us for a Legacy Retreat. She did, and about two weeks ago we learned we'd been chosen for this retreat to Disney World! Technically the all-expense-paid part only applies to the parents and their under-18 children. However, since I'm Trish's personal nurse and all, I figured I should probably go, too, just in case she has a bad day or something. ;-) And we've come to find out that some of my expenses actually will be paid, because IOH is just that awesome.

In addition to providing families with fun vacations and helping them make lots of memories, IOH also wants to connect families like ours with other families that are facing similar challenges. Thus, we will be joined on this trip by 15 other families from all over the country, each of us there for reasons we prayed so hard not to have (I'm talking about the diseases, not the kids). Licensed counselors (including children's counselors) volunteer their time to come spend the weekend with us, and there are also volunteers who come along to play with the kids, take pictures, help us plan our activities, pick us up at the airport, etc.

In the info packet we received about the trip, we were given IOH postcards to pass out to our friends. But then we didn't really give them to anyone. Oops (we just found out a couple weeks ago!). So I'll just tell you what they say. One side basically tells about the Legacy Retreats like I have here, and the other side tells how you can help support a family you care about (that's us, unless you happen to know one of the other families going). You can help out by 1) making a donation to IOH at their website, 2) getting "involved" in our Legacy Retreat experience (have no idea what this means - I would think maybe it involves writing a note or something. It says to email [email protected] for details, and I do know that we love Jill), and 3) pray for us!

I'm excited and nervous. Of course I'm thrilled that we get to visit Disney (Jamal and Tekia have never been and the rest of us haven't been since I was five), but I'm also prepared for these few days to be difficult as well. I know that, for some of these families, this will be their last vacation together. And this is the only way some of them are able to get away from home for a few days. I know that not every sick parent there will look and feel as great as my mom does right now. The IOH staff has very prayerfully assembled this particular group of families, so I'm eager to see what God has in store for us next week.

Get ready to see lots of Disney pictures! You can also follow the IOH Legacy Retreats blog and twitter by clicking on the links found under the Disney World picture on their site. 

Oh, and it's Monday, so pray for Tricia!