stocking stuffer

Oh, by the way, Santa brought us an early Christmas present.

Her name is Shae . . . she's been with us for a little over two weeks . . . she'll be staying here until she's able to move to her adoptive family . . . and she's probably cuter than anything you got. ;)

from our tree to yours

Merry Christmas!

photo booth find

Niva Grace (aka Halle) and me during her last visit

"stable disease"

I hate the disease part, but I love the stable part! Good news today! There was no (significant) change at all in Mom's scan! The lymph node (with breast cancer) in her abdomen still appears completely normal. The lymph nodes in her chest are still enlarged, but no different. The pancreas, liver, and everything else in that area show no signs of disease.

There were a couple of surprises, but nothing Dr. Tauer is concerned about. First, the scan showed "stable sclerotic bone metastasis" on Mom's T12 vertebra. Dr. T had the radiologist look back at previous scans, and apparently this was first seen in 2006. Dr. T said it could just be some arthritis; the radiologist called it metastasis because he knew Mom had stage IV breast cancer. It has never changed and never lit up on a PET scan, leading us to believe it's not cancer. I'm not sure why we're just now hearing about it. We only recently started getting written reports of the CT scans, and it probably hasn't been included because it was "old" news. No follow-up will be done (except her normal CT scans) unless Mom starts showing symptoms. The second thing is that Mom has an ovarian cyst. Dr. T said that it looks benign and that women get them all the time. He's not worried.

The plan is for Mom to continue Herceptin (infusion every three weeks) and Tykerb (pills she takes daily). We'd love to drop the Tykerb because we think it's the source of most of her GI problems, but Dr. T isn't comfortable stopping it just yet, if ever. If it ain't broke . . .

Mom requested a genetics consult, because you know it's kind of fishy that she gets so many diseases (breast cancer, Crohn's disease, and pancreatic cancer in the last 11 years . . . but who's counting?). Dr. T said it would probably be a good idea since she's never had one before, so he set up an appointment for her with the geneticist tomorrow.

So there's the October scan report! Thank you so much for praying us through another scan day. We appreciate it more than we can say.

And we would appreciate very much it if you would also keep our friend Joan and her family in your prayers this week. Joan has been battling stage IV lung cancer for about three years now, and this week she's entering a new trial in Nashville. She should begin the trial drug tomorrow. She and her family/friends will be doing a lot of traveling between here and Nashville over the next few weeks. Pray that this treatment will be successful in stopping her cancer's growth, that the side effects would be minimal, and that Joan would begin to feel better soon! God has been glorified through Joan's journey, and I'm excited to see what he will do in this next chapter.

Thanks, friends!

scan day tomorrow!

Speaking of months for which I'm thankful, October is another one. If not for the research funded by so many pink events during past Octobers, my mom would probably not be receiving the two life-saving drugs that are currently being used to battle her breast cancer. I wish every cancer could have an October.

And speaking of Trish and breast cancer, tomorrow is a scan day . . . no fun. :( They'll be looking for any signs of disease, of course, but specifically monitoring the breast cancer for which she's currently being treated and checking for recurrence of her pancreatic cancer. We'll meet with Dr. T after the scan to get the results. (If you're behind, her last report from July can be found here.)

As always, prayers are begged for and appreciated. :) Mom is doing pretty well most days, but I can find things to worry about all the time; so I'm nervous as usual. Please pray with us for an "all clear" and for God to be glorified tomorrow!

let's hear it for August

August is not my favorite month. (I realize it's October, but you know how prompt I am about updating my blog...)

Historically, August has not been a great month for our family. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in August 2001. In August 2004, the breast cancer recurred in her liver. Then in August 2010, my dear Paw Paw died suddenly, and three weeks later, on the very last day of the month, my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I know God holds the eighth month in his hands just as tightly as he does the other eleven, but I would be lying if I said I didn't dread its arrival every year.

This year was a little bit different, though. This year I realized that August, mean as it can sometimes be, does have its perks. Because we can't take a picture like this in any other month of the year.

    
Yes, there is my mother. Surviving stage IV breast cancer and stage II pancreatic cancer. And not just surviving. Living. With a heart full of thanks and joy.

And I'm wondering . . . who would God be to me if there had been no Augusts?

C.S. Lewis wrote, "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

My darkest August days have seen me on my knees, face down in my bathroom floor, crying wordless prayers, and God has met me there. And in those moments, I've known him in a way that I often forget about on my brighter days. I've learned how to trust him more, believe him more, rest in him more. I've learned that his presence is constant, even when it's not obvious. So I suppose I'm thankful for those Augusts and the father I've come to know there. He is really all I need.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

And let's hear it for August.

lucky tomorrows

Tonight I'll be sharing a life lesson from my baby sister. 

Due to a months-old toe fracture that won't heal, Tekia is currently wearing a boot and walking with crutches. The other night she and I were returning home from a trip to Walgreens, and she dropped some of her change while getting out of the car. I told her, "Kia, you dropped a penny."
 

She (realizing that bending down to get it would require some extra effort) shrugged and said "That's okay. I'll just leave it. Then I can find it tomorrow! And you know what they say about finding pennies, don't you?"
 

What if we lived every day with that attitude? Planning for and expecting good things to happen to us the next day?

Expect lucky tomorrows.

p.s. "I just burped and it came out my eye." (other wisdom shared by Tekia this week) (or something) 

random repost: tired (9/29 update)

I wrote the following post two years ago today, almost to the minute. Only instead of sitting on my bed, I was typing it from a hospital couch...

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I just had to look at my phone to verify that it was the 29th and not the 28th. The days are all running together.

Once again, Mom's day got off to a rough start. Every morning, for some reason, her stomach decides it cannot tolerate food. Then, as the day goes on, Mom eats a little bit at each meal and everything seems to be going great . . . until she wakes up the next morning. She did this yesterday, and then she had a great afternoon and evening. We thought she was making real progress. But this morning she got sick again while eating breakfast. The rest of the day has been good; we're just anxious to see what tomorrow will bring. 

Other than her "morning sickness", Mom's feeling pretty good physically. She's getting around great. She's ready to be home. Her electrolytes were off again this morning, so she had to get some extra meds along with her running IV fluids. Her white count was also up a little bit, but the doctors don't seem very concerned about it because it's not that far from normal and she's not showing any symptoms. Her drains are still there and still draining, though they're putting out much less fluid than yesterday. She's still retaining a lot of fluid in her hands, legs, and feet, but they say that will resolve when she's off IV fluids and moving around more.  She's not the least bit hungry (praying for an appetite might be something to add to the list!), but is forcing down food in small amounts. For a while, it was very apparent that she was getting better every day, and now it seems that she's kind of stuck. The doctors, residents, and nurses keep telling her she's doing great and that this eating thing just takes time.

So here's the deal (whine alert!) . . . we're tired. Mom's tired of throwing up every morning. Tired of being chained to an IV pole. Tired of worrying about the kids. Tired of being in the hospital. I'm tired of blogging about cancer. Tired of running back and forth between the hospital and home. Tired of seeing her tired. We're all tired.

Thanks so much for reading and sharing and praying. We've been so blessed yesterday and today by visits and prayer time with several of our much-missed friends. Today's prayer requests are pretty much the same as yesterday's (apparently I'm also too tired to type out prayer requests). Here's to a restful night and less whiny tomorrow. :-)

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"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." -Matthew 11:28-29 

Yes, please.

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9/28/10. Mom's first trip outside the hospital after her Whipple surgery. 11 days post-op.

9/29/12. Girls' shopping trip to Charlene's in Halls, TN.

Great is His faithfulness!

 

Chip & Gayle {a squirrel story}

I have a story for you. A squirrel one. You may remember when we got Rocky the squirrel about three years ago. If not, click here. It seems that, in raising Rocky, we inadvertently became the people you call when you have an orphaned baby squirrel. We currently have a full-grown squirrel named Bullwinkle, who was found by a lawn service guy a few months ago and given to Jamal. Bullwinkle has yet to be released because Trish adores him. We also acquired another newborn squirrel around the time we got Bullwinkle, but after getting her hydrated and eating, we turned her over to be raised by some neighbors.

Avery and Bullwinkle during Camp Granna last month

So two weeks ago tonight, a tree was stuck by lightning in our friends' backyard. In the tree was a squirrel eating a nut. Sadly, the squirrel did not make it.

Fried nut. Fried squirrel.

Three days later, two dead baby squirrels were discovered in our friends' backyard, courtesy of a missing mama squirrel and the family dog. The next day, our friend Brian rescued another baby squirrel from the family dog and found yet another one making her way down a nearby tree (screaming all the way).

And then he did the only thing he knew to do. He called squirrel people.

That would be us, apparently. 

And so, meet Chip and Gayle.

Chip is a boy and Gayle is a girl, of course. We think they're about 6-7 weeks old (5 weeks when we got them). They're very tiny and adorable and love to snuggle up together under a towel or blanket. Having been without their mom for four days, they were both very sick and dehydrated when they came to us. Poor Chip's hind legs and tail appeared to be paralyzed for the first few days, probably a result of his encounter with the dog. But after a steroid shot from the vet and some TLC, Pedialyte, puppy formula, and "squirrel PT" from us, both Chip and Gayle are doing great now and Chip is using his hind legs and tail!
  

Chip

Gayle

Trish says she's going to release Bullwinkle sometime soon - not because she wants to but because the babies need his cage. He's been practicing in some trees. I'll keep you posted. ;-)

#istandupfor

I think everyone should watch this show on Friday night. And maybe give a little money, too. Because this is an organization that's making a difference in the fight against cancer, specifically pancreatic cancer. So watch and give and pray for a cure.

www.standup2cancer.org

Oh yeah, and #istandupfor Trish. :-)

a month of lovely crazy normal

Okay, I'm not a student. I don't have kids. I'm not in a youth group.

So why am I so busy in the summertime? I don't get it. Nonetheless, it seems to happen every year. The last month has been one week after another of lovely craziness.

First, I went on a cruise with my family. Lovely.

We came home and had about two weeks to throw together a college send-off party for 20 amazing teens in foster care who are starting college this fall. Several Memphis churches came together to show these kids some love and it turned out better than I could've ever dreamed! It was quite possibly the best party I've ever attended (and I'm not just saying that because Trish and I were in charge). Also lovely.

As soon as the best party ever was over, we plunged right into a week of Camp Granna with my awesome niece and nephews! Crazy.

In the midst of all the lovely crazy, I've been working (of course I had one of the busiest work weeks ever the week I got back from vacation) and gardening and editing photographs and not blogging or posting cruise pictures (sorry).

And lest you think I'm complaining about all this busy-ness, think again. Because you know what else I haven't been doing? I haven't been making weekly chemo trips to West Clinic with Trish or going with her to get bad news from her doctor or spending the night on a hospital couch or having to be the mom of the house while the real mom is out of commission.

The last month has been nonstop for me . . . filled with lots of lovely, crazy stuff. Normal stuff. Non-cancer stuff. And while a few more hours of sleep would be nice, I'm not complaining one bit. :-)

cruising

Remember that time I went on an awesome cruise?

Yeah, me neither. But this time next week I will!

For the next week, the Memphis half of my family will be sailing around the Caribbean on the Disney Fantasy! (Sidenote: all five of us will be staying in one stateroom. Pray we don't kill each other.)

Those fireworks are for us. They got really excited when they heard we were coming.

star pupil

Great news! Mom's scan was read as "stable", meaning there's been no progress of her disease since her scan in April. The only thing that shows up as possible cancer are those enlarged lymph nodes in her chest that we've been watching for almost a year now - they remain unchanged. The node that tested positive for breast cancer in Mom's abdomen didn't show up on the CT scan at all!

Dr. Tauer called Mom his "star pupil" and wants her to continue with the Tykerb/Herceptin combo for at least three more months - maybe forever. We'd rather get rid of the Tykerb at some point due to the unpleasant side effects, but Trish can definitely live with them if she has to! She will have another CT scan in three months. We gave Dr. T some goodies from our garden (sweet pickles and cucumber apple rings) so he'll have more incentive to keep Trish around for a few more summers. ;-)

While waiting for her scan, Mom met two other amazing cancer-fighting women - a 92-year-old who "fast walks" 2.5 miles five days a week and another woman who's headed back to Haiti on Monday to continue her work with World Vision. I hope their news today was as good as ours! Praise God for "sick" women who don't let cancer run their lives!

We are so grateful for all of our faithful prayer warriors and for the ways that God has answered our prayers!


"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!" -1 Chronicles 16:34


p.s. Sorry I'm so late in getting this update posted - I literally fell asleep mid-post last night!

prayer request for Team Tricia!

Y'all still praying for Tricia on Mondays? If not, today's a good day to start back! She has a CT scan TOMORROW!

This is Mom's every-three-months check-up scan to see if her current treatment is still keeping her breast cancer under control and to look for any signs of pancreatic cancer recurrence (and let's be real here - we're keeping an eye out for other stuff, too . . . there's no telling what could happen with this woman). Mom's most recent cancer activity has been metastatic breast cancer in a lymph node in her abdomen, and her last scan (at the end of April) showed much improvement. I'm hoping and praying that there will be no signs of any type of cancer on tomorrow's scan!

Trish is still doing great overall. She still has good days and bad days, and every once in while she'll have a day or two that makes me start to worry, but, for the most part, she's living a totally normal life. If you spent a day with her, you'd probably never know she was sick (well, except for all her pill-popping). That doesn't mean the fear of bad news isn't still there when Mom has appointments like this, but we continue to trust that God will be faithful just as he's always been, regardless of whether tomorrow's results are good or bad. It is our prayer (and hopefully yours) that his name will be glorified through every step of this journey.

I'll update tomorrow!

 p.s. The above photo is of Trix and Madison (aka Little P) at Madison's birthday party a few weeks ago. Love. :-)

what I've been up to lately

Gardening,

 

gardening,

 

gardening,

gardening,

 and more gardening.

 The garden that was once Paw Paw's . . . and then mine and Mom's and Paw Paw's . . . has now become mine and Mom's and our friend Cindi's. And we are spending a lot of time there . . . growing such wonderful things as okra, tomatoes (regular, cherry, and roma), yellow squash, zucchini, cucumbers (so many cucumbers!), peppers, eggplant, watermelon, cantaloupe, sunflowers, zinnias, and some accidental peas. Actually, we have no idea if eggplants are wonderful or not . . . we don't know what we're going to do with them, but we're growing them anyway . . . just because we can.
  

Oh yes, and we've also been doing some eating lately. 

Lots and lots of eating.

Have I mentioned I love summertime?

how lucky I am.

Last week, my mom and I got to see our sweet Niva Grace (aka Halle) for the first time in almost a year. She is three and a half now and lives in Iowa with her mom, sister, and new stepdad (we were in Iowa for the wedding!). Niva Grace and I have always had a special relationship. However, since it had been 11 months since we'd last seen her, Trish wondered if she would even remember me. I knew she would. And she did.

Mom captured some photos of our very happy reunion.

Leaving her in Iowa the next day was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. It was ten times harder than the first time I had to say goodbye to her - for both of us.

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." -Carol Sobieski and Thomas Meehan, Annie

This foster care stuff is not for the faint of heart. 

babies on a changing table

So there's this changing table in our garage. My sister-in-law had borrowed it from Trish and returned some time ago. It was the changing table upon which she'd diapered my niece and nephews. Anyway, this changing table has since taken up residence in our garage. It comes in really handy for storing things like gardening tools, an old comforter, and the occasional sleeping cat.

The old comforter is inside of a trash bag, and we noticed recently that a bird had made herself a home inside the trash bag as well. Makes sense, I suppose . . . what bird wouldn't want to sleep on a down comforter?

Turns out that bird became a mama this week.

Yes, in a nest on a down comforter inside a trash bag on a changing table in our garage lie five or six newborn baby birds.

They are not cute.

But they are hungry.

And they do have very fuzzy heads.

So there's that.  

 

To all the moms I've loved before

Happy Mother's Day to my fabulous mother! I love you, Trish!

The above picture is from a little Mother's Day trip we took to California last week. So thankful for more memories made

And I also want to wish a Happy Mother's Day to all the other special ladies who've played mom roles in my life at one time or another. You know who you are (and if you don't, check the pictures in the post below). I love each of you dearly and am so thankful you've been part of my "village."

And now I shall recycle my favorite Mother's Day post from my early blogging days. Enjoy.

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sharing

Mom told me yesterday that I had until tonight to get a new blog post up...perhaps she was fishing for a Mother's Day post? That's okay, I suppose, because I can't think of a mother who deserves one more than she does. A blog post seems like a pretty trivial way to pay tribute, but, until I have my own talk show, this will have to do.

I've collected some pictures of some of my favorite moms (click on any of the pics to see bigger). My most favorite is mine, of course, so most of the pictures are of her. Looking at these pictures, I realize that in several of them, my mother is caring for a child to whom she didn't have to be "Mom." I learned from my family that when you've got something good in your life, you should share it. My mom taught me this by sharing her "mom-ness" with many children and young mothers who needed to know what a real mom was supposed to be like. Every child whom my mother has fed, bathed, clothed, and loved has known the blessing of having a real mom. I'm so thankful to have had the opportunity to share her with them, and I know they are eternally grateful to her for the special part she played in each of their lives. I'm tempted to say that Jared, Jamal, Kia, and I are the really lucky ones who get to have Mom all the time; however, Hunter and Avery get her for a grandmother! I think Granna may be her favorite role yet.

I probably didn't realize how blessed I was until that terrible summer day in 2004 - when words like "terminal" and "incurable" became part of our vocabulary. I'm so grateful to have gotten to spend another Mother's Day with Mom, and I pray that we will get to celebrate many more together.

I know Mom would not be the Mom/Granna we know and love without the special moms in her life, so I would like to thank each of them as well. I hope and pray that, when I am a mom someday, I will remember all the "mom" things I've learned from each of you.

Happy Mother's Day to all my favorite moms!

PS - Maybe Mom thought that the more children she mothered, the more gifts she would get for Mother's Day. If any of you are thinking of trying this plan, don't do it - she still only got gifts from us.