books....

well I ordered the Sookie Stackhouse novels. The books The tv show True Blood are based off of. I've had them just aabout 2 weeks and I've read all 7. So yesterday I went to the store and bought the 8th book. Finished that today.. Now I have to wait until May 2009 for the 9th book!!! I don't know what I'll do until then.. They are so good, I can't even explain my love for them.

so back from the dr's after reviewing my tests... Everything is normal... all my levels for whatever she checked came back "perfect".. so what does that mean???? it means we have to keep trying and working on our timing.. She offered a referral to an RE, so I'll talk it ove with the hubby and see what he wants to do. I think we'll just keep trying on our own for a while and see what happens.. we'll revisit the clomid and going to an RE at a later date..

It's good to know there's nothing wrong, but it's frustrating knowing that it's not working at the same time.. oh well..

cycle 13 draws to a close

yep that's right. I temp'd this morning and even though it was still well above coverline, I decided I would poas and see what the outcome would be. I had a feeling it would be negative, but since I have a dr's appt this afternoon to go over our test results I thought i would test so I would know and be able to tell the dr. So now we are moving on to cycle 14.
I have to be honest, i never thought it would take this long. I come from a family of fertiles. you know the type, think about getting pregnant and BAM! it's done. I have 4 older cousins and they all got pregnant crazy easy and most of my younger cousins even the teenagers, don't seem to have a problem. Yet here I am, barren at cycle 13. I am patient and I know it'll happen if and when it's supposed to, but it's getting a little ridiculous. I don't even think my younger sister tried this long. I could be wrong though. I'm not quite sure on the time line. And she has endo.
So what could possibly be wrong with me?? I don't ask about the husband because we got his SA results and all is good in his hood. Perhaps, it's nothing and it's just not our time and we need to just keep at it. but it gets to the point where it's just work and not fun anymore. Oh well, only time will tell I guess.

I have a rash..

it started itching last night on my shoulders and at 4am i was woken up by a horrendous burning sensation at my neck. it went from my shoulders up into my scalp, around my neck down my chest between the ladies, wraps underneath them and stops at the top of my tummy.. it's so itchy..

Hypochondriac

That's me.. The office manager just came by to talk to me about 30 minutes ago and she's sick.. you can hear it in her voice.. I was thinking the whole time she was talking to me that her sick breath was flying out at me an infecting my insides... I tried to only breathe a little bit during the conversation.. I don't think it worked.. I now have a sore throat and I'm pretty sure her superbug cold flew into me and got me sick...

juju fertility doll

So this weekend my MIL handed me a JUJU doll from New Orleans, she has had it for many many years and apparently thought we could use all the help we could get and handed it over. I'm supposed to sleep with it under my pillow. Interesting , we'll see if works.. hahahaha the picture is actually the male doll, I have the female. I'm too lazy to go get the camera and take and upload a pic. but you get the drift of what the thing looks like.

Ghost Whisperer

Can we talk about last weeks episode please. The one where they went on the 3 day cruise.. She says at the beginning about how maybe 3 days of no stress will help with the baby making.. And I instantly think, OK maybe the scheduled it and she's gonna be ovulating.. come to the end of the episode and she's at home and all of a sudden gets woozy and feels sick... Then all of a sudden her husband and her both think at the same time, OH HEY! maybe we're pregnant!! OK, well then you would've been pregnant BEFORE you went on the cruise. Let's not mislead people into thinking they will have symptoms right after having sex. I'm mean she wouldn't have even implanted yet!! I realize it's a show, and that it's about ghosts, so it's not like it's super factual. But, you should make real what you can. And this should be one of those things.

cycle day 10 bloodwork.

I went this morning to get my blood drawn for cd 10. The girl who took it might have well chopped off my arm. it totally hurt, more then just the normal pinch. and it was super bleeding afterwards. She said "we have a bleeder!!" and i chuckled but I was thinking, um that's because you just rammed a huge ass needle THROUGH my vein. it still hurts and just stopped bleeding. now i have a bruise already and a little bump there. and It was taken an hour and half ago!!! I don't think she really knew what she was doing. I hope it don't get her when i have to go back for my cd 20 blood work. what a way to start my morning.

AND It's freezing cold in my office and we were told we had to turn in our space heaters. So my legs and toes are icicles now. Thanks a lot.

Tucker Max...

I recently read his book I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. It's his supposed true stories about hanging out with his friends and humping girls. Good stories, I laughed a lot. Until I got to the last chapter, He warns you though about that last chapter before you read it and I should've listened. I won't spoil it for you.
But the conversation I had with J while reading the book and finding out tidbots of info was kind of funny. It went something like this:

D- Hey he worked at Fenwick West!

J- Isn't that where you worked?

D- No but we played them in softball.


couple minutes later

D- Hey he lived in MV! *

J- Oh gosh, you humped him didn't you! I'm gonna read that book and they'll be a chapter about you!

D- um, no. no humping.

J- you can tell me! I won't be mad, you totally hooked up with him. He looks like the frat guys you used to date.

D- no seriously, I know I was an easy going kind of gal, but really, I didn't hook up with him. If i hooked up with him I would've told you.

J- sure whatever you say.

* (this is important because I grew up and lived in MV until I moved in with J.)

This ended the conversation for a while. We did revisit it one more time. But it was short lived and I'm pretty sure that he gets there isn't a chapter about me and I didn't have sex with Tucker Max.

Clomid no go

So J and I had a talk last night and decided we want to NOT take the Clomid this cycle. My dr said that I didn't have to take it since we know I am ovulating. And since the S.A. results came back normal and I don't have any issues with my woman parts we'll just keep trying without it. I'll continue with the bloodwork this cycle since I already started, but no Clomid. I think J is really concerned we'll have 12 babies at once. He said twins he could handle but anymore then that and he's not prepared. hahaha So,ok. We have prepared mentally for twins because I fit most of the criteria for them. But I guess we can hold off on unnaturally making more then 1 baby.
We will revisit the Clomid early next year if we feel we need to. Good thing I only paid $10 for it.

HSG done!

So I' jus tgot back from my HSG appointment. Let me tell you. I was sooooo scared and nervous going in becasue of what I've read and what people have told me. And it didn't start out great. I get to the hospital which is split up into 3 buildings. I"m looking around for this place and I can't find it. The X-Ray department is called something diffrent then the hospital so that's what I was looking for. I see the Xray dept and I go into the admitting section and they tell me that I'm not on the appt list.. So now I'm stumped and freaking out because i'm missing my appt. So I call and they tell me that I am in the right section and to go back in and if they can't find me this time to have them call the Xray waiting room. This time I'm amazingly enough on the list. crazy! I guess the other lady was on crack. Cut to the actual procedure.

The radiologist is being shadowed by a student so I had someone else staring at my hairy cooter and legs. Oh that's right I forgot to shave. Oh well! SHe explains everything to me shows me what they are going to use and what's going to happen. She was very nice, funny and informative. I told her I was nervous because I'd heard tons of bad things. She promised me it wouldn't be that bad and it would just feel like cramps. Ok i can do this!!

The dr came in, explained everything again and we started. The speculum was a little uncomfortable but it wasn't too bad. then the catheter went in.. ok a little more uncomfortableness. then he blows the balloon thingy up and there's crampy feeling, then the dye goes in. So then the cramps got bad. Now I'm lucky enough to not get cramps during my period. so I'm pretty sure these were just normal cramps. It felt like poo cramps actually. A couple deep breaths and they were gone. I watched the dye go through on the screen, which was pretty cool and then he pulled the thing out. HOLY MOLY!!!! that friggin hurt. I screamed. The dr apologized and made sure i was ok.

I told the girls in the room that was the worst part.. And it was. So now, i'm just crampy and tired. But all is well. I'll survive.
Good news is that everything was perfect and there was no blockage. I start my Clomid tomorrow. SO hopefully all goes well with that.

HSG Today!

I'm getting a littel nervous. I'm scared because of all that I've read and what a couple people have told me. So I'm not looking forward to the feeling of a freight train getting rammed up my cooter. Hopefully, it doesn't hurt that bad. I have vicodins in case I need them afterward. My supervisor also told me I can just head home afterwards because I won't want to come back to work. So that's nice. She also reminded me why I'm doing it and to remember that. So I'll keep that in my mind!

baby maker 3000

So I thought for fun I'd go to the VW site and use the baby maker 3000.. Now I didn't use the best pics of us but I'd like to think this baby came out pretty cute. I'm sure any real baby we have, if we're ever blessed with this task, will be way cuter. J seems to think this baby is ugly. I've seen worse fake baby makers though.. Now we just have to wait and see, only time will tell I guess.

p.s. I don't like the routan commercials, i think they are insensitive. But I"m sure they don't care.

cranky

I am a big cranky mess..I have no idea why.. I mean it's probably because I'm on my period and I'm having hormone difficulty.. but besides that.. I felt fine this morning, oh well.
so tomorrow i go in for my cycle day 3 blood work. and on Thursday i have my HSG. Fun time ahead i bet. good thing i have vicodins. hopefully I'll be one of the lucky's that doesn't feel a thing.. A girl can dream.

We got the results from DH's SA.. everything is normal. so that's good. I'm glad he doesn't have to worry about being broken.

There was more I wanted to blog about but my crankiness has taken over the brain and i can't think now..

GO PHILLIES!!!

Since I married into a Philly family I've come to be a fan of the Philadelphia teams.. SO i'm excited that the Phillies are going to the World Series! Let's go Phillies!!!!!

bad day all around

I woke up this morning with a horrible headache. Not quite a migraine but might as well be. I also have a dentist appt today I'm not looking forward to. I have to get my permanent crown put on. ugh! what a horrible day. I realize things could be worse, I just really hate headaches.

Also, I'd like to send prayers and good thoughts to the ladies and families of two blogs I follow.
"When Hello means Goodbye"- Her and her sister are going through surgery today for a new kidney. My prayers are with you two for luck with the surgeries and speedy recoveries.
And "He will carry me"- my heart is broken for you guys. I have no words for what you're going through. I send my prayers to you, your family and sweet baby Issac.

the Clomid Challenge

I went to the doctor's yesterday to talk to her about why it's taking so long for us to get pregnant. After talking she decided she'd have us to a fertility work up and called it the clomid challenge. I think this is a silly name.. A challenge.. to take meds that make you crazy. hahaha. oh well. I'll do it. So J has to get an S.A. done and I start on my barrage of tests next cycle. All the blood work, and HSG 100mg of clomid for like 3 days or something and then we see what happens. Not to mention the insane sex schedule she has us on. I mean I'm down to do it obviously but that's a lot of humping. oh well, it needs to get done if we want a baby right. She also seemed to be very clear on the fact that clomid can increase our chances of twins. Especially for me. I meet most of the factors normally for having twins and then we through the clomid on top of it. It'll be interesting to see what happens. I assured here were are prepared for that and have already spoken about it many times.

We'll see how everything goes. I'm sure as was she that nothing is wrong and we just have to keep trying. We know things will happen when they are supposed to happen, so we are being patient. But it doesn't hurt to make sure there's nothing wrong in the mean time.

work sucks

I hate it here at work. I'm so done, it's ridiculous. I am bored all the time because I don't have enough work and when I get work I finish it too fast. I pimp myself outs to other departments but even that is drying up. And the worst part is my co worker. I hate her with a passion. I pray everyday for patience and guidance on how to deal with her. This is the lady that called me on a Friday night at 10:30pm drunk out of her mind to tell me how much I suck and that no one likes me. Which is complete B.S. no one likes her. She said I'm so mean to her, never help, and make her cry everyday. Really?? I'm so not mean and I ask her if she needs help everyday. She has issues with passing work off. So, I don't want to hear it. She told me the other day that I had to go to Home Depot for her.. UM, no I don't and I'm not. So, we got into it and she said I was being a bitch.. It's really hard for me to not wish horrible things on her.. I can't stand her and I need to find a new job. So, that's what I'm working on for now. I can't stand the stress here anymore..

Bad bad day

Last night I was blessed with the arrival of my dear friend AF. I knew she was coming so it wasn't a surprise but I hate the way I feel while she's here. Today seems to be the worst of my months since I've been off bc. I woke up feeling incredibly icky. Then when I was getting ready for work I noticed my skin broke out a little and I feel really bloated. I put on my new jeans I just bought last weekend that were comfy and loose and today they are tight and make me feel fat. ugh..I hate this. Then, my allergies kicked in. so I've been sneezing and congested all morning with a headache. And my coworker is wearing horrid perfume that is not helping the matter.. I would like to just go home and put my pj's on and veg out in my bed. I realize this is all trivial, but it's my blog and I can vent if I want to.

"CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY!!!!"

prayers for the sister in law

My sister in law is having brain surgery today to remove cysts. I know she'll be ok but that will not stop me from praying all day long. It's long story on why she's having the surgery in the first place, so I won't share it. The important part is that she pulls through and she's ok!
that's all just wanted to jot it down.

MOVIE REVIEW!!

Well in the last 3 days I've watched 4 movies and so I thought I'd share because they were all really good.
The Bank Job. I thought I would hate this movie. Doesn't exactly seem like the kind of movie I like. But it has Jason Statham in it so I figured I'd watch a guy movie with the hubby. It was really good! It's based on a true story so that made it more interesting. I don't exactly know how much of it was true but none the less it was interesting.

Step up 2, The Streets. I really like dance movies and I loved the 1st movie. Plus it has a great soundtrack and Rob Hoffman. I like him a lot. It's basically the same as the 1st movie but with a better story. And we still get to see Channing Tatum, even if it's only for like 5 minutes.

Shutter. It's a "Scary" movie that's not really scary but is a good story. I'm sure it was a Japanese remake like The Ring, and The Eye. There were parts where we had to turn the volume up really high to hear the voices but other then that a very decent movie.

Then last but not least we watched Definitely, Maybe. AWESOME! I love Ryan Reynolds and Abigail Breslin is super cute. This was such a great story and had an awesome ending. I won't ruin it but I thought I would be disappointed with how it turned out. I like movies to end the way I would like them too and most of the time they don't. This one did and I was so excited.

I know I didn't say too much about plots but I know if I did I would over share and then you wouldn't need to watch the movies. But they were all really really good!

creeper in my crawl space

I watched the movie Vacancy this weekend and it reminded me of a story from my past. True story, nothing made up. This happened about 7 years ago. I was renting an apartment with one of my friends. We rented a 2nd floor apartment because we thought it would be safer.
I came home one night around midnight after hanging out with my ex husband. As I walked in the front door I could see that my roommates closet light was on due to it being open a crack. Now this wasn't unusual behavior since she would do this often to leave some form of light on for when we or she came home. I turned on the living room light and the kitchen light and picked up the phone to call my ex and tell him i got home. We spoke for maybe 10 minutes. I turned off the kitchen light and walked into the living room and turned off that light also. Then I realized it was pitch black in the apartment, so i turned the light back on and thought well maybe i just thought the closet light was on... So I turned on the kitchen light, turned on the hallway light and proceeded to open the hall closet. Nothing. I turned the corner and checked the linen closet, nothing. Checked the bathroom. Went into my room and checked it out. Nothing. My last stop on my journey was Jen's room. I turned on her light and looked under the bed.
Now, I have no idea what I would've done had I actually found anyone hiding. But it seemed like a good idea. I might also mention, that we had friends who lived in our complex with us. One of those friends being a rather big large guy. Did i call him? No, i figured it was nothing.
So my actual last step in my find the boogie man hunt was the closet of Jen's room. The door was closed, so I flipped the light switch and gave it a second. I slowly opened the door and found nothing!
So I'm safe right? So I turn off all the lights I have now turned on and get ready for bed. I turn on my fan and my stereo in my room so i don't hear anything and get settled in. As I'm laying there trying to fall sleep I see the hall light come on. I get up and check out my window to see if my roommate is home. Her parking spot was under my window. Her car was not out there. So i start contemplating my next move. I crawl back in bed thinking maybe she couldn't drive home and got a ride. I start to hear thumping and pounding and general sort of chaos going on in the hall. I am getting really scared. Then whoever was out in the hall bangs on my door so hard I thought it was getting kicked in. Here it is, I'm going to die. My door didn't actually get kicked in but I was sure there was a hole on at least the other side. I look at my phone and think about calling 911. That would be logical. But how are they going to get into the apartment! I can't have them kicking in the door, then what are we going to do! I can't go open it for them, because the crazy killer is on the other side of my door. I think about calling my friends who live in the complex, they have a key. But i decide I don't want them to get hurt. So what do I do? I squiggle down in nook between my bed and the wall and put my blankets over my head and start praying. That's right. I'm the stupid girl in the scary movies that runs up the stairs instead of running out the front door. Apparently my prayers worked because I feel asleep and didn't wake up until 7:30 the next morning.
I got up and checked my roommates room. She was there fast asleep. I didn't want to wake her knowing she go tin late , so I left for my dads house for the weekend. It's about 3 hours away. When I got there I called the apartment to tell Jen what happened. She didn't answer the phone. I called her cell but there was no answer there either. So i left a message to call me at my dads. She did and I told her. She then proceeded to yell at me about leaving her with someone who was OBVIOUSLY trying to kill her. since I'm still alive she figured they were after her. She stayed at her parents house that weekend and I went and picked her up when i got back into town.

When I got to her folks house her brother and 1 of his friends came with us back to the apartment to check it out. I told them all exactly what happened and we went in. They went straight to the closet. Saw that there was ceiling popcorn on the shelves and on the ground. So they went up into the crawl space where they found a pitch fork and all the firewalls knocked out to the other apartments. We call ed the cops they couldn't do anything but take a report since nothing besides a break in occurred.
Through out the next couple weeks we would notice lights on when we would come home, the sliding glass door would be open, all the cabinets would be opened. Things we didn't leave open. Dude was telling us he was still coming in. Our wonderful management staff was worthless and didn't do anything and couldn't understand what we wanted from them... Needless to say I moved out as soon as I could.
Thankfully nothing happened and we were safe. Hopefully nothing like that happens again and I don't act like a dumbass!

Yo, Philly! stories about my DH

I woke up thinking about when I first met my husband and decided I would share some stories.

The 1st night I met J was while he was working as a bouncer at a local Irish pub. His supervisor introduced us after we both asked about each other. He didn't talk much and it was loud but i could make out that he talked funny. You know marbles in the mouth sort of mumbling.. So the next time I saw him I asked where he was from. He said Philly, I said "West Philadelphia born and raised?" thinking I was being cute and he'd get my fresh prince of Bel Aire reference. I was wrong, he didn't get it.. He said "No, Northeastern Philly, but my dad grew up in west Philly." so I had to explain to him my joke. He still didn't find it funny. Oh well! My best friend at the time when hearing that J was from Philly said "West Philadelphia born and raised!?" I said "That's what I said! but no he didn't even get it, I had to explain it to him!!" See I'm not the only one.

I like to annoy my dear hubby every now and then when people are on reality shows and are from Philadelphia. I always ask him if he knows them. I don't care how old or young they are, I will ask. I'm for sure that one day I'll ask and he'll tell me yes. During American Idol last season they had that crazy glitter girl audition that tried to sound like the chick from Jefferson Airplane. Anyway, we were watching the show with his parents, and i asked if he knew her. He said "HELL NO!" His mom said "Don't lie J! That's your ex girlfriend!" hahahahaha it was great that she chimed in with me and helped with the annoying.. Of course he never dated her, but it was a good one.
Now to go along with this story I asked him if he knew the guys from Boys II Men. He said no but his dad worked with one of their dads.. So of course I asked his dad! I said "you know Boys II Men?" He said "I know Shawn and his dad, but not the other guys." So I asked if he knew Will Smith and his dad, i believe i got something thrown at me.. oh well I guess you can't know everyone in Philly!!
J is waiting for the day that someone from Mtn View pops up on tv and he can ask me if i know them. I said "I probably do, it's not a big city. As a matter of fact I went to school with Megan Berwick!" then i had to explain who she is.. She played ZZ in salute your shorts... anyway he wasn't impressed.. But it's not really fair. When his family moved out to California they moved to the O.C., so he was just quick to tell me he went to school with DJ from Roseanne, Stephanie from Full house and Taryn Manning.. well aren't you just special.

Speaking of Boys II Men, I asked if growing up they dressed like Motown Philly style. Like boys II Men in there video. I got the craziest look from J and I believe he said "Please don't tell me kids out here actually dressed like that!" oook... "um, yeah they did.. that wasn't the cool thing to do??" He just laughed uncontrollably for a long time.. I guess us west coat kids are just dorky nerds.. I remember boys dressing like that for homecoming! nope not actually the style back in Philly.. who knew!

my dad

So around this time last year my dad bought a new motorcycle. I told him not to ride it because I didn't want him to get hurt before my wedding.. Well he rode it and got in an accident and broke, or shall i say shattered his leg. It's been a very long recovery process that he's been dealing with. Pins, screws and rods inserted everywhere bone graphs and most recently and infection. which they had to take everything out of his leg to try to heal. This morning I find out he re-broke his fibia! So he goes in tomorrow to have yet another rod inserted. He's not sure how it broke, he thinks he twisted it wrong. The doctor said since the bone was missing a chunk, it was bowing and probably just sort of snapped. Anyway, it sucks and I feel bad. I know it's not my fault. But i know what a hard road he's already been having. And now he has to go through it all again. Supposedly this time the healing won't take so long and he'll be back at work next week. I hope that true. He's been pretty depressed about how it's ruined his life and he can't do his simple pleasures in life because he's in too much pain. So here's to hoping he heals up good and can get back to his simple pleasures in no time!

my most recent wacky dream

Like I said before, I have some pretty crazy dreams. Here's the last one i remember from Saturday night.
It started out in a mall of sorts. There was a movie theatre and then offices. I was in what appeared to be a doctors office. As I'm in the waiting room with other patients we see these crazy looking zombie type people stammering through the court yard. Now they weren't zombies exactly more like mind controlled people who were walking like zombies. We were trying to figure a way out of the office that would avoid the zombie people. For whatever reason we came up with going through the air vents. As we're crawling through the vents we stop to look into other offices and notice the zombies things are all around and inside the offices. we finally come to the end of the vents and opens up into the movie theatres. So we crawl out and walk to the exits that are directly in the theatre. Someone opens the door and pops their head out and see the lot is empty. Amazingly enough, someone that crawled through the vents with us has parked their truck out there. So we make a mad dash to his vehicle! Next thing I know I'm walking through what I would call a street festival of sorts with my husband. It seems we're looking around for something or someone but due to the festival chaos am out of luck. Which leads to being at a friends house for a bbq. My husband and I are looking up at the sky noticing these birds flying and talking about how they look so crazy speeding and buzzing around. The little black birds turn into black shoes that are now falling into our friends yard. As we all gathered to figure out what was going on we realized someone was catapulting them from another yard at us. My husband and I are hanging out under a tree while this is going on and a white dove lands in the tree. Now the dove was plastic and had a weird head. It was sort of like the play doh heads that when you push down strings of play doh come out. I told hubby to grab it! Once he got it in his hands it turned into a real white dove and then my dream flashed to us sitting on the lawn playing with 3 babies. That's the end of the dream due to me waking up.



I have a add on to this post that has nothing to do with my dream but isn't worth it's own post, i don't think. Heidi Montag's new song.. UGGHHH!! It's a good beat, too bad she sucks and the lyrics are incredibly stupid. And the worst part is when she's rapping/talking with some weird accent saying all the designer names.

welcome to my first blog!

So as I mentioned in the description this will serve as a mish mash of thoughts and ideas. I have some pretty crazy dreams so you'll probably read a lot about those. I tend to have a lot of zombie dreams so it should be interesting. Feel free to help interpret them if you'd like. That will be entertaining for me also.

I'll be rambling anything else I think people might find entertaining or that i just need to get off my chest. Like my lame co-worker I'd like to kick in the face. The hubby and I are trying to get pregnant with our 1st child so I'm sure they'll be stuff about that on here too. Perhaps some funny stories from my past if I can think of any.
I hope I keep whoever is reading this entertained! And thanks in advance for letting me spill my stories and thoughts.

D MacG!