friends

Over the last 8 years I have made some amazing friends here in Montana. For the longest time I had only one good friend here. In the last year the friend base has increased 10 fold. I have been blessed with a group of girlfriends with whom I can share almost anything. It has been truly amazing to me that this has happened in the time that I have needed friends the most.
In the next week I will be having to say goodbye to a friend who has been a catilist for many of the friendships that I have developed. My friend is moving back to her home in New York and I will miss her dearly. The other day she said "I forced you to be my friend. I really didn't give you an option." The thing is if she hadn't "forced me to be her friend" I would have missed out on an wonderful friendship that I know will continue on well after she has moved away.
I don't always make myself the most open person to others. It is hard for me to put myself out there and truly share myself with others. Don't get me wrong I'm not the hermit type but forming real and caring relationships is hard for me to do. I will let people see the surface but to really let them in isn't something that is done easily. That's one reason I have this blog. I need to share things with others but it's hard for me to do that in person without feeling like a burden or feeling weak. I think people see me as strong and independant but underneath that is someone who stuggles with more then they will ever realize.
Though Christina will likely never read this I have to thank her for allowing me to be me, excepting me and my baggage, and helping me to find a small group of friends that will hopefully last a lifetime!

changes

I am a person who loves change. I like to try new things, visit new places, and all round expand my horizons with new experiences. The time as come for me and Chef to make some pretty major changes in our lives. (no we are not having a baby!!!) We are preparing to move to OHIO! Yep, move to OHIO! I never in a million years thought I would move back to the Midwest. However with our experiences with Chef's mom over the last few weeks we have decided that this is what is best for her. Is it what is best for us? We don't know yet. We hope that it will be good for us. I have been feeling down with my job and Chef has hated his for a while now. Don't get me wrong we are VERY happy to have the jobs that we do but it is just time for a change.
We have put a lot of thought into this move. There is a lot to hopefully gain but there could be a lot lost in the process. We feel right now that the goods out weigh with bad. Even if things don't go as expected we can always leave and find our lives elsewhere again.
Thus over the last week I have begun packing up unneeded items. I have also began doing touch up painting and giving the walls a more neutral color. We have decided to try For Sale By Owner and see if we can steal a bit of traffic from our neighbors. We are also going to price our house below those that are similar to ours in the neighborhood. If we don't have to pay Realtor fees we can sell for less. We also aren't looking to make much money on the sale. We hope to walk away with some money. If we can do this we will have money to put down on our new home and hopefully get a better interest rate. We currently have no set timeline for which we would like to move by. I think as time goes once the house gets the for sale sign we may develop a timeline but for now we are willing to do the work and wait.
Wish us luck!