Dear Isaac,
On this day, one year ago, you were born. It was the most glorious day of my life...knowing you has changed me.
I remember when we got to the hospital in the morning, there was already a little gift there for you... a little stuffed lamb... from Taylor and Lenny. We got settled in what would be our room for the day, and nurse Kathy got mommy all hooked up to a bunch of machines and things. One of those machines let us hear your heartbeat. When Mom-Mom, Grandpa Jim, Aunt Kate and Uncle Tim, Pop Pop and Grandma Mia, Grammy and Grandpa Jack all came back to see us before you were born, they could hear your heart beating, too. Some doctors came in to take one last look at you on the ultrasound machine so that they could figure out the best way to get you out of my tummy safely. It was neat to see you in there one last time. Pastor Guy and Pastor Rob came back and prayed with us and they prayed for you... knowing that it's never too late for God to perform a miracle and to heal your sweet little body.
Then, we went to the operating room where you would be born. You were born at 8:33am; and while God did heal your body like we prayed He would, I know I met a miracle that day-- you.
You are the most beautiful baby I have ever seen... your fuzzy hair, your perfect little nose, and cute lips just like daddy's. Daddy and I are so thankful that we got to meet you while you were still alive so that you could feel us hug you and kiss your little face, and so you could clearly hear us tell you how much we love you and how proud we are of you. We do... and we are.
After you were born, nurse Kathy helped us give you a bath an put on the blue little outfit we got for you. Then, you got to meet everyone!! Your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, and some of mommy and daddy's closest friends who also love you very much. We're so glad that they all got to meet you and hold you. You are just precious.
Isaac, do you know that you have changed the world? That your life has impacted many, many people for Jesus? Do you know that there are people who didn't want to go to church who are now going back because of hearing about your life? That over one hundred people played in your golf tournament? That there are people who spend more time with their family, who hug their children a little bit tighter because of you? I am so proud to be your mommy... and I am so thankful that God has chosen to use you in a mighty way.
We miss you so much. We wish that you were here, just learning to walk, babbling out sounds like "dadada" and "mamama", and devouring your first taste of cake. Mommy and daddy know, though, that you are perfectly cared for in heaven... that you are healthy and whole, and that you have everything you need. We are thankful for that; but we still miss you. Deeply.
I love you, Isaac. I am so proud of you. Happy birthday, sweet boy.
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Thursday, December 25, 2008
December 25, 2008
Dear Isaac,
Today is Christmas... but you already know that because you are celebrating with Jesus himself.
Yet, Mommy and Daddy wish so much that you were here. We miss you Isaac... we miss your sweet little face, your soft cheeks, your fuzzy hair, your cute nose, the way it felt to hold you and snuggle with you. We were looking forward to much to getting to celebrate Christmas... and Easter... and you brithday... all for years to come.
For some reason, God decided it was better this way... better for you to be with us for 9 months and 16 minutes than for the long, long time Daddy and I would have liked, and prayed so hard for. For you, it is better. As your Mom, I would like to think that it would be better for you to be here with us; but you are in the better place. For me and Daddy... well, it seems like it would be better for us if you were here; we just miss you so terribly.
There's not a day that I don't think of you, miss you, long for you... you are so precious to us, Isaac. And even though you're not physically here this Christmas, and you won't ever be, you'll always be in our hearts; you will always be remembered; and you'll always be loved.
I love you, sweet Isaac.
Love,
Mommy
Today is Christmas... but you already know that because you are celebrating with Jesus himself.
Yet, Mommy and Daddy wish so much that you were here. We miss you Isaac... we miss your sweet little face, your soft cheeks, your fuzzy hair, your cute nose, the way it felt to hold you and snuggle with you. We were looking forward to much to getting to celebrate Christmas... and Easter... and you brithday... all for years to come.
For some reason, God decided it was better this way... better for you to be with us for 9 months and 16 minutes than for the long, long time Daddy and I would have liked, and prayed so hard for. For you, it is better. As your Mom, I would like to think that it would be better for you to be here with us; but you are in the better place. For me and Daddy... well, it seems like it would be better for us if you were here; we just miss you so terribly.
There's not a day that I don't think of you, miss you, long for you... you are so precious to us, Isaac. And even though you're not physically here this Christmas, and you won't ever be, you'll always be in our hearts; you will always be remembered; and you'll always be loved.
I love you, sweet Isaac.
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
December 10, 2008
Dear Isaac,
Mommy is missing you so much today. There are so many things that I would love to show you, tell you, do with you...
I know it's not you who is suffering; you are in the most perfect place. But Daddy and I are... we are here without you and we miss you terribly.
I love you so much, sweet Isaac.
Love,
Mommy
Mommy is missing you so much today. There are so many things that I would love to show you, tell you, do with you...
I know it's not you who is suffering; you are in the most perfect place. But Daddy and I are... we are here without you and we miss you terribly.
I love you so much, sweet Isaac.
Love,
Mommy
Saturday, October 18, 2008
October 18, 2008
Dear Isaac,
I don’t know how to put into one letter everything I would want to tell you in a lifetime… but I want to try because Daddy and I love you so much. We are so proud of you.
From the moment we found out about you, Daddy and I were so excited to meet you. As you grew, I could feel all of your kicks and wiggles, especially when I would drink a fizzy Zazz or eat something sweet. I remember the first time Daddy could feel you kick, too. As you grew, I would feel you move in new places, and that made me so happy because I knew that you were growing and were full of life. I loved it. Some of the doctors we met with suggested that we let you go; but that was never an option for us. You are our child. We have loved you from the moment we found out about you, and wanted nothing more than to be your Mommy and Daddy and to shower you with as much love as one could possibly give in a lifetime.
I remember the day that Daddy and I chose on a name for you… Isaac Timothy. We chose the name Isaac for two reasons; first, because of the story of Abraham and Isaac in the Bible, and feeling as though we were being asked to take a large step of faith in entrusting you into God’s care; and secondly because Isaac means “he will laugh.” We both just loved the thought of you laughing with joy. We chose Timothy as your middle name because Timothy means “to honor God.” We knew that your life would be honoring to God, and we wanted your name to reflect that. The night we chose your name, Daddy made up a name certificate and we prayed as we named you… we couldn’t wait to tell people your name so that they could pray for you, too, and start to get to know you even more. We loved naming you because at that point, you became even more personal and we felt even more connected to you as your Mommy and Daddy.
While you were still in my tummy, every morning I would sit and write you a letter while playing you music. You really liked when I played Wonderful, Merciful Savior and How Deep the Father’s Love for Us. After the letter was finished, I would read it to you. On my way to work each morning, I would talk to you, telling you about the colors in the morning sky, or simply just how much I love you and how proud I am of you and to be your Mommy. Every night, Daddy would say good night to you… he told you how much he loves you and how proud he is of you, too. We wanted so much for you to hear our voices and know that it was your Mommy and Daddy who love you, Isaac. I hope that you heard us, and that in hearing us, you just felt so deeply loved.
Did you know that while you were in my tummy we took you all sorts of places? We went hiking at Sugarloaf Mountain and walked through the tree-lined path. On the Fourth of July we watched fireworks and listened to their big, loud “booms.” We took you to the beach and jumped waves with you in the ocean. You and I even sat on the beach in the early mornings and I would tell you all about the beautiful sunrise and the sounds the seagulls made. Over the summer after a big thunderstorm we would often see a rainbow; I wished so much that you could have seen them, too. I told you all about the beautiful colors and the way each one would stretch across the sky. Towards the end of the summer we went golfing with Daddy, and I know he was excited to share that with you. We went to weddings, and football games, on picnics, and to so many other places; yet there are still so many things Daddy and I would have loved to do with you. We just weren’t finished making memories with you yet.
October 7th was the greatest day of our lives. You were born at 8:33am; you weighed 4 pounds, 12 ounces, and were 17 ½ inches long. Not only did your body have weight, but your life has weight, and significance, and you matter. You still matter, sweet Isaac. You matter to the One who so uniquely created you. You matter to the people whose lives you have touched and who you have brought closer to Jesus. You matter to me and to Daddy; you will always be our first child and our son. We are so proud of you because you…your life… has made a such a difference, especially to us. The sixteen minutes you were with us were the sweetest sixteen minutes of our lives; and I am thankful to have had that time to whisper in your ear over and over again how much I love you… to have kissed your little nose and sweet cheeks, held your hand with all your perfect little fingers, and then to hold you for hours afterwards, just studying all of your perfect little features and seeing how beautiful you are.
Isaac, we miss you so much. My arms are heavy and ache with the emptiness of not being able to hold you and snuggle with you anymore. But, we are so thankful to have had the chance to meet you… to look at you and just take you all in; to look at your cute nose and realize it’s just like mine; to see how your toes are just like Daddy’s; to look at the details of your little hands and feet, and to be captivated by the beauty of who you are. You are the greatest miracle I have ever been a part of, sweet Isaac. We loved being able to kiss your soft little cheeks and little button nose, and to tell you over and over again how much we love you and how proud we are to be your Mommy and Daddy. We hope that you heard us every time we told you we love you, that you felt every squeeze, and hug, and kiss we gave you, and that we somehow managed to give you all the love of a lifetime in the time we had with you. The sixteen minutes we were able to share with you were the sweetest sixteen minutes of our lives.
We know that Heaven is the best place to be, and we long for the day when we will get to see you again. Please know that you hold the most special place in our hearts, and that we will never stop loving you.
Love,Mommy and Daddy
I don’t know how to put into one letter everything I would want to tell you in a lifetime… but I want to try because Daddy and I love you so much. We are so proud of you.
From the moment we found out about you, Daddy and I were so excited to meet you. As you grew, I could feel all of your kicks and wiggles, especially when I would drink a fizzy Zazz or eat something sweet. I remember the first time Daddy could feel you kick, too. As you grew, I would feel you move in new places, and that made me so happy because I knew that you were growing and were full of life. I loved it. Some of the doctors we met with suggested that we let you go; but that was never an option for us. You are our child. We have loved you from the moment we found out about you, and wanted nothing more than to be your Mommy and Daddy and to shower you with as much love as one could possibly give in a lifetime.
I remember the day that Daddy and I chose on a name for you… Isaac Timothy. We chose the name Isaac for two reasons; first, because of the story of Abraham and Isaac in the Bible, and feeling as though we were being asked to take a large step of faith in entrusting you into God’s care; and secondly because Isaac means “he will laugh.” We both just loved the thought of you laughing with joy. We chose Timothy as your middle name because Timothy means “to honor God.” We knew that your life would be honoring to God, and we wanted your name to reflect that. The night we chose your name, Daddy made up a name certificate and we prayed as we named you… we couldn’t wait to tell people your name so that they could pray for you, too, and start to get to know you even more. We loved naming you because at that point, you became even more personal and we felt even more connected to you as your Mommy and Daddy.
While you were still in my tummy, every morning I would sit and write you a letter while playing you music. You really liked when I played Wonderful, Merciful Savior and How Deep the Father’s Love for Us. After the letter was finished, I would read it to you. On my way to work each morning, I would talk to you, telling you about the colors in the morning sky, or simply just how much I love you and how proud I am of you and to be your Mommy. Every night, Daddy would say good night to you… he told you how much he loves you and how proud he is of you, too. We wanted so much for you to hear our voices and know that it was your Mommy and Daddy who love you, Isaac. I hope that you heard us, and that in hearing us, you just felt so deeply loved.
Did you know that while you were in my tummy we took you all sorts of places? We went hiking at Sugarloaf Mountain and walked through the tree-lined path. On the Fourth of July we watched fireworks and listened to their big, loud “booms.” We took you to the beach and jumped waves with you in the ocean. You and I even sat on the beach in the early mornings and I would tell you all about the beautiful sunrise and the sounds the seagulls made. Over the summer after a big thunderstorm we would often see a rainbow; I wished so much that you could have seen them, too. I told you all about the beautiful colors and the way each one would stretch across the sky. Towards the end of the summer we went golfing with Daddy, and I know he was excited to share that with you. We went to weddings, and football games, on picnics, and to so many other places; yet there are still so many things Daddy and I would have loved to do with you. We just weren’t finished making memories with you yet.
October 7th was the greatest day of our lives. You were born at 8:33am; you weighed 4 pounds, 12 ounces, and were 17 ½ inches long. Not only did your body have weight, but your life has weight, and significance, and you matter. You still matter, sweet Isaac. You matter to the One who so uniquely created you. You matter to the people whose lives you have touched and who you have brought closer to Jesus. You matter to me and to Daddy; you will always be our first child and our son. We are so proud of you because you…your life… has made a such a difference, especially to us. The sixteen minutes you were with us were the sweetest sixteen minutes of our lives; and I am thankful to have had that time to whisper in your ear over and over again how much I love you… to have kissed your little nose and sweet cheeks, held your hand with all your perfect little fingers, and then to hold you for hours afterwards, just studying all of your perfect little features and seeing how beautiful you are.
Isaac, we miss you so much. My arms are heavy and ache with the emptiness of not being able to hold you and snuggle with you anymore. But, we are so thankful to have had the chance to meet you… to look at you and just take you all in; to look at your cute nose and realize it’s just like mine; to see how your toes are just like Daddy’s; to look at the details of your little hands and feet, and to be captivated by the beauty of who you are. You are the greatest miracle I have ever been a part of, sweet Isaac. We loved being able to kiss your soft little cheeks and little button nose, and to tell you over and over again how much we love you and how proud we are to be your Mommy and Daddy. We hope that you heard us every time we told you we love you, that you felt every squeeze, and hug, and kiss we gave you, and that we somehow managed to give you all the love of a lifetime in the time we had with you. The sixteen minutes we were able to share with you were the sweetest sixteen minutes of our lives.
We know that Heaven is the best place to be, and we long for the day when we will get to see you again. Please know that you hold the most special place in our hearts, and that we will never stop loving you.
Love,Mommy and Daddy
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
October 7, 2008
Dear Isaac,
Today is your birthday. It's 4:08 am, and in about 5 hours from now, Daddy and I will get to meet you! Right now I am sitting here, playing you some music (the songs you seem to like best) and feeling you wiggle. I wish I could sit here for a while longer.
Yesterday Daddy and I didn't do very much. We both just wanted to be home and be with you. I had to go to the hospital for them to take some blood, and then we went out to lunch for pizza. I ate a late dinner since it was the last meal I could eat. I wanted to make sure your last meal while you're in my tummy was good... so I had chicken pot pie and of course, a Zazz. For dessert, I had chocolate chip cookies and milk.
I don't know what to expect today; I know that Daddy and are looking forward to meeting you, holding you, kissing your face, and just giving you all the love we possible can. Mom Mom and Grandpa Jim, Pop Pop and Grandma Mia, Grammy and Grandpa Jack, Grandad, Aunt Kate and Uncle Tim, Uncle Pearce, Aunt Jolene, Aunt Melinda, and our small group friends will be there to meet you, too. I know each one of them is looking forward to meeting you, too, and just giving you all the love they can.
I know that the day you meet your child is supposed to be filled with nothing but joy; and Daddy and I are joyful. And we're both also hoping and praying so much, even now, that God will heal your little body on this side of heaven so you can be with us for a while. If not, then today you will get to meet Jesus, and be with Him in Heaven... and I know that's the best place you could be. I guess Mommy is just a bit selfish and doesn't want to have to possibly let you go.
I am so proud of you.
I love you so much, Isaac.
Love,
Mommy
Today is your birthday. It's 4:08 am, and in about 5 hours from now, Daddy and I will get to meet you! Right now I am sitting here, playing you some music (the songs you seem to like best) and feeling you wiggle. I wish I could sit here for a while longer.
Yesterday Daddy and I didn't do very much. We both just wanted to be home and be with you. I had to go to the hospital for them to take some blood, and then we went out to lunch for pizza. I ate a late dinner since it was the last meal I could eat. I wanted to make sure your last meal while you're in my tummy was good... so I had chicken pot pie and of course, a Zazz. For dessert, I had chocolate chip cookies and milk.
I don't know what to expect today; I know that Daddy and are looking forward to meeting you, holding you, kissing your face, and just giving you all the love we possible can. Mom Mom and Grandpa Jim, Pop Pop and Grandma Mia, Grammy and Grandpa Jack, Grandad, Aunt Kate and Uncle Tim, Uncle Pearce, Aunt Jolene, Aunt Melinda, and our small group friends will be there to meet you, too. I know each one of them is looking forward to meeting you, too, and just giving you all the love they can.
I know that the day you meet your child is supposed to be filled with nothing but joy; and Daddy and I are joyful. And we're both also hoping and praying so much, even now, that God will heal your little body on this side of heaven so you can be with us for a while. If not, then today you will get to meet Jesus, and be with Him in Heaven... and I know that's the best place you could be. I guess Mommy is just a bit selfish and doesn't want to have to possibly let you go.
I am so proud of you.
I love you so much, Isaac.
Love,
Mommy
Monday, October 6, 2008
October 6, 2008
Dear Isaac,
Do you know how proud I am of you?
I am so proud of the way that over and over again I have been told by people, some of whom I know and others that Daddy and I have never met, that you have had an enormous impact on their lives... how you have helped to restore their faith in God and have brought them closer to Jesus. And you have certainly done that for me and for Daddy. I am so proud of you.
I can't believe that tomorrow is your birthday. It seems like it has gotten here so quickly. Last night our small group friends came over to pray for us. They prayed for all kinds of things... for time together as a family, for you to not be in any pain when you're born, and for a miracle. I really am excited to meet you tomorrow... to hold you, to kiss your little face, and to try to somehow take all the love I would ever want to show you in a lifetime and give it to you all at once.
I love you so much, Isaac.
Love,
Mommy
Do you know how proud I am of you?
I am so proud of the way that over and over again I have been told by people, some of whom I know and others that Daddy and I have never met, that you have had an enormous impact on their lives... how you have helped to restore their faith in God and have brought them closer to Jesus. And you have certainly done that for me and for Daddy. I am so proud of you.
I can't believe that tomorrow is your birthday. It seems like it has gotten here so quickly. Last night our small group friends came over to pray for us. They prayed for all kinds of things... for time together as a family, for you to not be in any pain when you're born, and for a miracle. I really am excited to meet you tomorrow... to hold you, to kiss your little face, and to try to somehow take all the love I would ever want to show you in a lifetime and give it to you all at once.
I love you so much, Isaac.
Love,
Mommy
Sunday, October 5, 2008
October 5, 2008
Dear Isaac,
Yesterday Daddy and I had a nice day just being with you. We had a pretty lazy morning, which was okay because as you know, I love laying around and just feeling you kick.
For lunch, we decided to go on a picnic. There was a park that Daddy remembered seeing and it took us a little while to find it; but once we got there it was so nice. We sat at a picnic table right near the river. It was sunny and warm, but not hot; there was a gentle breeze that rustles through the trees, and the river gently moved along over the rocks. I was so glad to be able to take you on your first picnic.
I can't believe your birthday will be here in two days... that this time on Tuesday, they will be getting things ready at the hospital for Daddy and I to meet you. Like I told you before, I am very excited to meet you, to look in your eyes, to run my hands over your soft hair, and kiss your sweet face. My heart hurts, though, too, because I don't know how long Daddy and I will get to keep you. I just love you so much... even from the moment we found out about you, I have just loved you. I just want you to know that if there was any way to make things better, I would... I would do anything. But really it's up to God, and so we keep praying and we keep asking Him. And we know that if His choice is to have you go home with Him, that you're in the safest and most loving hands you could be. I just wish you'd get to be in our hands for a while.
I love you so much, Isaac.
Love,
Mommy
Yesterday Daddy and I had a nice day just being with you. We had a pretty lazy morning, which was okay because as you know, I love laying around and just feeling you kick.
For lunch, we decided to go on a picnic. There was a park that Daddy remembered seeing and it took us a little while to find it; but once we got there it was so nice. We sat at a picnic table right near the river. It was sunny and warm, but not hot; there was a gentle breeze that rustles through the trees, and the river gently moved along over the rocks. I was so glad to be able to take you on your first picnic.
I can't believe your birthday will be here in two days... that this time on Tuesday, they will be getting things ready at the hospital for Daddy and I to meet you. Like I told you before, I am very excited to meet you, to look in your eyes, to run my hands over your soft hair, and kiss your sweet face. My heart hurts, though, too, because I don't know how long Daddy and I will get to keep you. I just love you so much... even from the moment we found out about you, I have just loved you. I just want you to know that if there was any way to make things better, I would... I would do anything. But really it's up to God, and so we keep praying and we keep asking Him. And we know that if His choice is to have you go home with Him, that you're in the safest and most loving hands you could be. I just wish you'd get to be in our hands for a while.
I love you so much, Isaac.
Love,
Mommy
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