FOMO, YOLO, “Yes…and.” We live in a time where it’s all about doing it all, having it all, taking on every challenge that comes our way.
And don’t get me wrong — so much good comes from this approach to life. I’ve met some of my greatest friends by living my life this way. I’ve had so many great experiences and adventures I never would have had otherwise.
But lately, I have found myself wondering, when is enough enough?
There comes a point where you cannot say yes to everything. You cannot do it all. And this mentality of thinking that if you say no, you’re missing out, I’m starting to feel is becoming unhealthy.
Sometimes it’s good to say no. By saying yes to everything, are you really enjoying each event to its fullest? Or are you living half in the moment, and worrying about which thing you need to run off to next?
Sometimes we worry if we aren’t out with our friends, we’re missing out on life. But by spending that time worrying about what we’re missing out on, we are forgetting what’s right there in front of us.
Sometimes we don’t actually want to do something, but the fear of what might happen in your absence outweighs the lack of desire/funds/time to do the thing, so we force ourselves to go along.
Sometimes “FOMO” is actually peer pressure in disguise.
My biggest fear about being away from Facebook this month was that I was sure I’d be missing out on things. Plans are often made from Facebook. I’d miss check-ins from friends nearby that I could meet up with. The events I couldn’t go to, I would feel even more in the dark about because I couldn’t see the photos of the night.
But you know what, instead, I feel liberated.
Yes, I’ve missed some events. Yes, I am clueless as to what people wore or who was there or what dessert they ordered.
I’ve learned that deep down, I actually don’t really care all that much.
Don’t get me wrong — that sounds harsher than I mean it. I care about my friends. I care about what they do. But I don’t care so much that I should be spending my time away from them worrying about what they’re doing without me.
When I am not there, I am somewhere. Often with someone. I want to focus on that place and that person in that moment. And ignorance is often bliss.
Furthermore, I am now a homeowner. And a wife. And a suburbanite. Unless I am made of money, figure out how to teleport, and how to convince my friends to hang out in the suburbs, I literally cannot do it all. It’s been a hard road to learn to accept these truths, and be content — happy, even — with the things I can do.
What I am trying to say is this:
Live your life to its fullest. Say yes to things that scare you. But also, don’t be afraid to say no. Learn the difference between fearing missing out, and living in the moment with what’s in front of you. Learn to distinguish between things you want to do vs not wanting to feel left out.
As with most things, life is not all-or-nothing — it’s about balance. What feels balanced probably differs from person to person, and even from time to time in one person’s life. But I want to be true to myself, and do a better job of finding the balance that works for me right now.
The Goode Life 
