The following story was written by someone I know, and I think it needs to be shared with others.

I am a 28-year-old woman who has worked in male-dominated fields.  Most of my life I’ve been “the girl” — the only daughter with five brothers, or the only girl on the crew. I’m used to being surrounded by guys. Last summer I worked on large wildfire incidents as an equipment manager trainee. This entailed working under the direction of the ground support unit leader alongside other equipment managers and the mechanic. On one incident I was the only woman working alongside seven other men. On top of that I was the youngest by an average of 20 years. The leader was a tall, somewhat-fit man who was older than my parents, but acted like a 17-year-old high school jock. 

I quickly learned that he wasn’t much of a leader and more of a bully. On my first day I knew he needed to learn that just because I was a young girl and trainee I wasn’t going to step back and allow him to treat me how ever he wanted. At one point that evening, he kept talking over someone I was trying to talk to, so — without making eye contact — I put my hand up and hushed him.
“You don’t hush me!”
“(Name), I just did. Now D what were you trying to say?”

I was surprised I didn’t get smacked upside the head.

I later learned that the look on his face was priceless. Most of the other guys had been working with him for a handful of days and had just learned to keep their head down and put up with him. 

For the following week I stood my ground. He made many inappropriate comments towards me and would try to put me in a head lock when I got “snappy” with him. But I never let him get to me. A few times other men on my team would come up to me and share their disgust of how he interacted and treated me, often stating “If he acted like this towards my daughter I’d…” 

As what usually happens a couple weeks into a large incident, the morning briefing contains a spiel about harassment. “Blah, blah, blah,” as interpreted my many fire personnel. I don’t know if someone said something to the leader about me, but later that morning he quietly came up to me and asked if I thought he had crossed a line and was harassing me. My response was “(Name), I’ve dealt with guys like you. If I were someone else, then, yes, you probably would have crossed that line a long time ago.” He stammered something about “sorry” and not wanting me to feel like he was harassing me, and I ended the conversation with, “Then watch yourself.” The remaining couple of days he did watch himself around me. 

When I’d share with my supervisor back home what a complete ass he was, she’d tell me to file a harassment complaint, but I’d seen how much trouble that was for a coworker on another fire, so I didn’t want to bother with it. I knew I could stand up for myself, and I only had a few days left. As I was leaving, and a new command team with a different leader was coming in, one equipment manager decided to file a complaint against the leader. I don’t know what ever came of that, and, honestly, I don’t really care. 

Looking back what I found interesting is that all these other men, whom I respected and enjoyed working with, not once stood up and told this guy that he was out of line while he was in the process of acting out line. Perhaps they saw that I was holding my own, perhaps they didn’t want to make more trouble for themselves, perhaps they knew that the harassment hotline rarely worked and made more trouble than solutions, or perhaps they were still doing what they were taught, don’t question or talk back to authority. I think leader saw himself as the jokester that everybody loved. In reality, many people outside of ground support thought he was pretty great. I feel that if a couple of those other equipment managers had stepped up and called him out on his behavior, he would have stepped back and checked himself. 

Bottom line:

1. Men need to hold other men accountable. 
2. Continuing to teach or accept wrong will never make it right. 

A colleague in the field of learning assistance is doing research about how the experience of running a tutoring center has influenced my teaching. This what I wrote for him.

I managed a math tutoring center for twelve years. Prior to that I was an adjunct math instructor. As a math teacher, I felt it was my job to clearly explain the mathematics to the students and it was their job to learn it outside of class. I had a sense that the more clearly I explained it, the more easily the students would understand it. Since I was really good at explaining math clearly, I felt my students were understanding it quite well. Until it came time for them to take a test. They seemed to have trouble remembering everything they clearly understood in my class. One time a student told me in frustration that he understood everything just fine until he sat down to take the test and then his mind would go blank. I knew I was out of my league with this kind of problem, but I also knew there were people somewhere on campus who might know how to help him. I told him there was a Learning Enrichment Center, “somewhere on the other side of campus” and he should go there and talk to someone who could help him.

When I started managing the math lab, I had no idea there was a difference between tutoring and teaching. (at least, the kind of teaching I was doing.) But, thanks to great professional development from the learning assistance community, I learned quickly. I was especially challenged by Bob Hackworth (I’m pretty sure), who told me through the list serve that the “hit-and-run” tutoring done in my math lab was actually remedial and not very helpful, as opposed to a more developmental approach taken in appointment-based tutoring. I took his challenge and eventually developed a very developmental “hit-and-run” tutoring program. Eventually I was teaching my tutors mantras such as “the person doing the talking is the person doing the learning” and “never say anything a student can say.” I challenged them to tutor without a pencil — not something to do all the time, but a great exercise on occasion. During this time, I was introduced to Rita Smilkstein’s “dendrite theory,” trained tutors on it, and it became a major theoretical foundation of our program. In the meantime, I continued to teach one class a year. I realized that real learning doesn’t happen in the kind of classroom I was running. I started by implementing one new technique that opened my eyes to what really had been happening in my classroom. I would demonstrate how to solve a problem, then I would give the students an example to solve on their own. I walked around the room (not an easy thing to do in a room set up for lectures) and looked at the students’ work. Shocking. I had just demonstrated exactly what to do on the board and half the students in the class couldn’t even do the first step. The first few times I did this really rocked my world. I couldn’t understand how these students couldn’t even do the first step by following the example on the board. Over time I came to understand the value of group work, recognizing the need for the students to teach and talk to each other. Another lesson realized by working with students and tutors in the math lab was the lack of conceptual understanding that students had. I had no control over the curriculum, but I recognized the need to move away from the mile-wide-and-inch-deep curriculum being used. Now that I’m the director of a developmental math program, I am able to do that. I immediately recognized the value of the new pathway courses that developed conceptual and contextual understanding along with procedural fluency, and we have implemented such a course. We are now working on our STEM path courses, so they also develop conceptual and contextual understanding. I know now that when my students couldn’t follow my example on the board and do the work themselves, they lacked much, much more than the ability to follow a procedural example. They lacked a positive belief in their ability to do that. They lacked a belief that they belonged in that math class. They lacked a growth mindset. They lacked conceptual understanding. They probably lacked interest. After all, who would want to learn math that way???

If I catch the 7 am train, I get to work by 9 am. (We’ll skip the marveling at my 2+ hour commute, ok?) In order to catch the 7 am train, I need to get up at 5:30 if I’m going to get my 25-minute workout in (which really lasts more than 25 mins with the cool down, but we won’t go into that either.). This morning I woke up at 5:50. Oh, well. It’s not a big deal if I take the 7:30 train. As I’m finally ready to walk out the door, I notice it is 7:30. Oh, well. I guess I’ll take the 8:00 train. And in the meantime, I’m going to sort through these papers for my research study and save having to carry a huge pile of papers with me. Well, by the time I got the papers I needed sort out, I was cutting it kind of close. I just missed the light at the intersection before the train station, and figured I’d missed the train. But just as the light turned green again, I have hope as I see the train just coming to the station. I screamed into the parking lot and it’s looking like I might just make it. I grab my purse and my bag of food for the week’s lunches and run. Then the avocado rolls out of my food bag, and I scoop it up as I continue running – noticing that it is feeling pretty mushy now. And as I straightened up with the mushy avocado in hand, I heard something hit the ground. I stopped and turned around, scanning the ground. Nothing there. It’s now or never on catching the train. Go? No. I HEARD something hit the ground. I walked a few steps back and saw my keys laying on the ground about 2 feet in under a parked car. I dropped to my knees and reeeaacched under the car and came up running. But hesitant, because the train should have been pulling out by now, and I don’t want to run all the way to the train just as it is pulling out. But it was still sitting there. So I ran. A little bit. And I paused and looked at the conductor – like “are you going to wait for me? or are you toying with me?” The bells started ringing and the steam blasted and I watched it pull away. I turned around and walked to my car. Ok. Taking the 8:30 train will work. I don’t have any meetings until 11:00. I sat in my car and read Michael’s email and looked up the location of the tornado that hit eastern Tennessee yesterday (far away from Alisha, thankfully, or sadly, I’m not sure which.) I checked Facebook and wrote a comment on a post. And I gathered up my belongings. More carefully this time and walked to the train platform. Wait a minute. Is there an 8:30 train? There are some people coming to the platform. Hmmm. I got my answer as I looked up to see when the next train would arrive. “To North Temple – 3 mins” That’s right. There is an 8:30 train, but it only goes to Salt Lake. I have to wait until 9:00 for a train that goes to Farmington, where I keep a car parked to drive in to WSU. And as I write those words — I remember. The car is parked in Salt Lake at my husband’s office. Crap. I could have – should have taken the 8:30 train. Or I could have ridden in with my husband. Oh, geez. This day just keeps getting better.

And after sitting at the train station for an hour, I decided to drive to work, as I recalled that when I drove the other car to Salt Lake, the check engine light came on. I wasn’t confident that I could jump in that car and rush to Ogden in it. Not a stellar start to my week.

Got a good letter from Michael this week.

So a few weeks ago, a man walks up to us and tells us that he’s moving out and would like some help. He lives on the 3rd floor in the building that’s next to us. As we talked more, he told us that he couldn’t take everything with him, so what ever if left we could have.

So Tuesday we went over and took some of the stuff that we knew we wanted. His whole house was pretty much not in any shape to have anyone move anything… His paperwork was everywhere! So we took a couple of things. It took us about 3 hours. We had to move it from his apartment to ours, which is also on the 3rd floor. Then Wednesday he had other movers come who got everything he wanted to take. We told him Thursday we would come over and get everything else out.

We showed up over there about 11am and started going at it… We
when’s through and cleaned out as much trash we could. Then started moving big stuff. He had so much jone! I can’t even tell you…. I have pictures of our apartment filled, then the front of his building was covered in it stuff. The mission office told us that they wanted pretty much everything… So we got everything. About 9:30 rolled around and we told him we’d come back Friday and finish it. Dan wanted to be out of the house early Friday morning. Friday we went over and he gave us his keys to the apartment then took off. We spent the morning moving more crap out and throwing away jone. At 12 we went to C.’s and he made us a ton of food. We started off with: tamales smothered in bean sauce and El Salvadorian sour cream (SO GOOOD!!!) I normally don’t like tamales but it was amazing… After those, we Had the burrito. This burrito was huge!!!! So we downed that. Then we had C.’s style octopus. After that we had a fresh fruit pie. Oh that was good! About 2:30-3:00 pm the mission office had their truck and trailer at the apartment, so Elder F and Elder G headed over there and helped load that up. Elder E and I stayed there and helped C with his computer. The internet kept going out and we were the geek squad. So it took about an hour. We got it fixed! As we left, my tire had a flat… So we got enough air into the tire to make it to a bike shop. I had to replace the tire and tube. Not cool… Then headed over to best buy so Elder E could get a speaker. We got home about the time the truck had left.

That night, we went to that ballet at the visitors center. It was with a ton of kids, that didn’t dance that well…Which is fine, it was cute. But then the teachers jumped in and danced also, and I understand why the kids weren’t that good. Not trying to be mean or anything. But it was really bad.

Saturday we woke up, had studies. Then we get a call from a restricted number. A man in a middle eastern accent started to yell at us and ask how our number got on his sons phone. Then told us that he’s a minor and we are never to talk to him again. We tried asking his name but he hung up on us. A few moments we received a text message. “I am the father of ______, my son is a minor do not try to text him again.” We replied, “Alright, Sir.” Then a few moments after that we received a voice message. He told us never to talk to his son. He has our number and is going to contact the FBI and some other stuff… So we call president and ask what we should do. He told us not to worry. After a few more calls from the man, and quite a few swear words later, he stopped. During all of that we got a call from the boy and his mom telling us sorry on behalf of the father, he doesn’t live with them and they’re divorced. So we can come over…

After lunch, Elder G and I headed over to another persons house… To help them… MOVE!!! You guessed right! From
11:30am-8:45pm we help this lady move all of her stuff from a storage unit, into her house. By the end of it, they loved us and invited us over for dinner later. They’re from the Dominican Republic, also really cool! We got home and then finished moving the rest of D’s stuff out and dropped the keys off. So he’s completely done!

Sunday was good. It was fast Sunday. We had church then from church, we headed over to C’s and had a BBQ. We stayed at his house until it was time to head to the visitors center. We had practice at 6 then a concert at 7:00. The performance was amazing! There was a Japanese singer, Sister Eyring (violin), her brother (piano), then another lady on flute and another piano player. I pretty much recorded the entire show. But my iPad ran out of memory so I couldn’t record the last few pieces…. Which were amazing!!!! 😦 but oh well. It was still great!
We got home about 10.

So jumping back to Monday. We had a zone activity. It was a blast! We played capture the flag/paint fight in the woods! The paint was mixed with water and we had a ton of fun. I’m going to be sending a lot of pictures and such.

Well that has been my week. It’s been long, but the blessings are
amazing. My back is hanging in there and I was able to help all these people. That was one of the biggest one I’ve noticed.

Well, love you all!
-Elder Van Wagoner

The latest letter from Alisha:

So this Easter didn’t feel like Easter at all… We pretty much just did the same things we usually do except this week as we knocked on less actives doors we asked if we could share a brief Easter message. The message was a brief story/trick that Brother G. up in A. shared with me. It was a fun day. Most the people were nice and the ones we didn’t get to visit with because they were too busy invited us to come back. When Sister H. and i got home we enjoyed a good Easter supper of steak nacho’s. Have i ever told you how much i love Sister H? I might even move to Texas to be her trailer neighbor… I told her that she’d get to hear me complain all the time. To that she asked why because you’re living in a trailer? I then informed her no because i’m living in Texas… she laughed. She didn’t know i was serious. 

A couple years ago, or so, Misty rented her house to Jessica, and emailed a few ladies from the ward to introduce us to Jessica.  I saved the email conversation. (I remember asking everyone’s permission.) When you read it, you’ll know why.  Oh that every new member of the ward could be welcomed this way. I think.

The Conversation:

Apr 17, Misty wrote: 

ladies – I’d like you to meet jessica, our new renter who is moving in on May 15^th.

jessica – here are the links to rachel, kristen, kathy, and natalie’s blogs:  (kathy d. my dear, do you blog nowadays?)

{omitted in case there are privacy issues}  

a good way to get to know these ladies – they are FABULOUS!!!  a handful of my favorite human beings on the planet!  🙂

thanks gals –

m

Apr 17, KRandle wrote:

Jessica  – All right, I have to admit that I am disappointed that you are not going to be Misty; I had a lot invested in hoping Paul would come back home here and be the resident lawyer for all the squabbles that plague this bummy neighborhood.  But no. He won’t.  And that makes him stink.

However, that said – perhaps it will be BETTER having you guys than the jump-ship Coxes, because you WANT to be here, and we are delighted at the prospect of fresh meat – wait, I mean – neighbors that we can get to know and invest in and love and who will STICK AROUND.  Besides, we have no Jessicas on this street  – or, I think, in the other part of the ward.  Do we? Can anybody think of one?

You will live across the street from us and I guarantee the dogs will drive you wild (they drive us wild) and you will think that we are all crazy, unless you are crazy too, in which case, you will not notice a thing.  I think that last bit is your best strategy and probably your only hope for survival.

This is a very dull neighborhood.  No, really – it is.  (You guys – stop laughing.)  And annoying, as all those leaves in Fall keep getting all over the place and turning colors, and there are all those happy kids in the street on the summer nights (wait – I’m remembering when the COXES were here).

And the ward – well. You’ll see.  You’ll see when you get here.  You’ll think, “What the devil have I gotten myself into?”  Except, of course, that  you will be at church when you think this, and you won’t be allowed to actually think the word, “Devil.” So before you come, do some thinking and come up with an acceptable euphemism that will allow you at lest a modicum of rhetorical satisfaction in that regard.

When you move in, don’t be shy about hollaring for help or advice (if you want THAT kind of advice) or asking for drinks of water, or borrowing the water closet or any of those kinds of things.  We don’t bite hard.  And neither do the dogs, although they badly want you to think they will.

Anyway, I hope you are excited to come, because you might as well start off with hope.  And don’t be fooled by our blogs; we always put a brave face on everything.

Looking forward to seeing your truck roll in,

Kristen

April 17^th, Rachel Rubow wrote:

Oh!  My!  Crap! KRISTEN!!!

You are going to SCARE HER AWAY!!!!!

Sigh……….  get to know me, I am FAR more civilized than your neighbors across the street.  I live on the OTHER side of center street where we are much more proper.   

Ummm, do me a favor.  Don’t read my blog post today about toilet papering my garden.  Or the time I pooped in a strangers house because I was out running and needed to poop!  Or……….  well………. best not read my blog because I’m the civilized one of the bunch and I need you to keep thinking and believing that.  What it would do to this ward if they thought other wise…………  

Welcome!!!!

The Oiser of the neighborhood.  You’ll recognize me by my overalls, All Star tennis shoes, and straw hat.  

April 17, Kathy V wrote:

Oh. Dear.  

Jessica, are you wondering, already, what the “devil” you have done?

As the Bishop’s wife (a rank I rarely pull), I would like to officially welcome you to the ward.  And let you know that you will acclimatize to Kristen and Rachel eventually – it might take a few months.

Thankfully, you have an insanely SANE next door neighbor in Michelle Tuinei.  She is kind, peaceful, brilliant and loving. (And I’ll bet her girls babysit, too.)

Actually, you are moving into a wonderfully loving neighborhood – one that has had few changes in members over the years. They are a close group and all very watchful of one another.

I, with Rachel, live on the other side of Center Street – a more loosely organized group of people, but we’re getting there. Since I work full time and am going to school, too, I maintain mostly a virtual relationship with my friends and neighbors.  I am highly grateful for this blessing of technology. 

(Hey, Gals, do I sound Bishop’s-wife-ish enough???)

Yeah, the truth is I am as nuts as K & R, but in a completely-stressed-out-of-my-mind sort of way. In case you haven’t noticed, not a one of us is shy.  Hope we haven’t overwhelmed you yet.

We do manage to sneak off together to the Provo Farmers Market on the occasional Saturday morning.  Pretty soon Rachel will be taking me shopping there because she’s going to lose our sugar bet and have to buy me something fun.

Do we know when you are moving in yet? (I’m usually the clueless one.)

See you soon.

K

Apr 17, Misty wrote:

For crying out loud – THIS is why I didn’t want to leave!!!!!!  

Oh. Dude. Seriously though – have u ladies seen the movie Cranford?  Get your hands on that movie and watch it together until at least midnight. You will thank me for it. 

I PROMISE.   Lace pooping cat. Jammie wearing cow named Bessie. You will DIE laughing. 

:):)

M

Apr 17, Rachel wrote:

We live in Cranford!  Did you not know that Sister Holioak (Did I just spell her name wrong??) has a naked chicken that she knits outfits for???  If that isn’t Cranfordish I don’t know what is!

As for the Bishop’s wife introducing herself as ‘the bishop’s wife’…………..  that was pretty darn brave of her to do so since she just told you an untruth!  I won’t be buying her anything from the Farmer’s Market!  It will be she who will be buying me fried pickles down in Payson!!!

Kathy, I had a thought………..  this whole sugar thing we’ve got going.  I do think we should add something along the lines of on our birthday we’re allowed to cheat for that one day………………….  Yes?

And P.S.  I deserve pickles now because I am an emotional eater and this has been an emotional day with the two boys getting their tonsils out and me listening to little children in the recovery room screaming and crying and not knowing if it was my child!!!!!!  I DESERVE SOME SUGAR TODAY but nooooo, I haven’t cheated cuz I WANT SOME PICKLES!  

Someone?  Please bring me some pickles……..   and bring some to Jessica too.  It would be the neighborly thing to do……..

Misty!  I declare it thus that you come home right now!!  Hey!  The Bunker’s house is for sale!!!  😀  You could move in there!

Apr 17, Misty wrote:

No sugar?  Maybe I am safer in Arizona!  :):)

Someone – get that woman a pickle!!!! 

Apr 17, Kristen wrote:

Cranford is a PBS series – charming and quiet and I loved it.

Jessica, if she has any sense at all, is running for the hills.

Apr 17, Rachel wrote:

What?   Where did you get that we didn’t like Cranford?  We love Cranford?  Which is why we live in Cranford and can relate so well…

No sugar yes because we both know our health will be better if we go off so we are trying to help each other.  Really. 😀

My birthday is in June.  June 22 y’all.  Take note.  It is my last year being in my THIRTIES!  

And yes, listen to Misty.  GET ME SOME BLASTED PICKLES!

Jessica?  Honey?  Don’t be shy.  We don’t bite.  Just Kristen’s dogs…………  HAHAHAHAHA!

Apr 17, Kathy V wrote:

When is your birthday, Rachel?  I’m thinking mine comes before yours. Truth is, if we last until mid-June, you’ll probably win. I can’t imagine not eating sugar while I’m doing my residency in Logan — but you never know..

So tonight the stake primary president planned their next temple trip in a few weeks and we are going to Sub Zero for ice cream afterwards.  Yikes!

Drug those children and they’ll stop crying. Or go ahead and have some chocolate to make your self feel better.

Misty – the funky blue house next to Marrott’s is for sale, too. Wouldn’t you love living next door to the Marrott’s?

Where do you get this Cranford movie?

(Is anyone concerned that we haven’t heard from Jessica yet?)

K

Apr 17, Natalie wrote:

Oh my. I didn’t know this was going to Jessica, too. And, yes, I think we should be concerned that we haven’t heard from her. 

But since I didn’t officially welcome her in my prior response, WELCOME JESSICA. I am the normal one in the bunch- which translates into “I am the boring one”. I also am excited to have some new people in the ward who may just stick around awhile. (Unless, the rest of you crazies have scared her away. 😉 And, due to the Bishop’s wife’s stressed out brain she failed to mention that I, too, live on THE OTHER SIDE of Center St. But, that being said I have no problem crossing over from the dark side; it is closer to the river and all of your lovely neighbors. 

And, you two on the whole no sugar thing….just go get some pickles to eat while you both spend gobs of money at the Farmer’s Market and eat some chocolate already! 😉 Love you.

Nat

Apr 17, Kathy D wrote:

Oh. my. gosh. why do we not get together more?  Who would not love us?  We are like the ones everyone feels better about themselves after they are around us for a few minutes.  HA!  I don’t even like pickles but now I want one, albeit dipped in chocolate 🙂

Apr 17, Kristen wrote:

I read all of these.  Responses? (and why do we need Facebook?  We can say everything in a reply all and not have third cousins of people we knew in high school butting in):

Pickles dipped in chocolate is probably the most HORRIBLE IDEA EVER. ptewy ptewy. But I echo the sentiment behind it. Honest.

No sugar is the SECOND MOST HORRIBLE IDEA EVER.

We are not funny.  We are quaint and quirky.  There’s a difference.

Kathy V: she did not escape with her sanity intact.  Where did you get THAT impression?

Okay. Back in the saddle (oh, don’t I wish I were?). Please tell me that dust doesn’t count just legacies of literature, photographic history and genealogy do.  Please. Tell.  Now.  And while you’re at it, tell me what month it is.

love to the chicks – 

K

Apr 27, Jessica wrote:

Oh dear! What have I gotten myself into!! LOL! You gals are so funny! I’m excited. I’ll be sure to stock up on toilet paper for Rachel, we buy two ply, so you won’t have to sandpaper your bottom!

We get the keys on the 15th and I will be there that day doing some painting and waiting for Comcast. We are doing the big moving on Saturday, the 19th.

Our wonderful Missionaries at our current place are going to help load the Uhaul on the 19th but they won’t be able to help us unload. Are there any in our neighborhood that are just dying to lift my sofa and such? I have a few friends and family that are coming to help us too.

It was really nice receiving emails from you!

See you soon!

Jessi

Apr 27, Rachel wrote:

You bet!!  There are many here ready and willing to help.

I’m SO excited that you are prepared to pamper my bottom.  😀

Girls!!!  Remind us all of the 19th so we can be sure and have many hands to help make light work!!

Apr 28, Misty wrote:

Ahhhh – there she is!

:):):)

Apr 29, Jessica wrote:

Wow! You are very sweet! Thank you! We have some friends and family coming to help us move, but the more people we can get to help, the faster it will go! I had a major surgery not too long ago, so I won’t be of too much help. I’m not allowed to lift anything over 12 pounds. But I will pack alot of light boxes that I can lift.

I’m so excited to move into a nice neighborhood. You’ll have a blast watching me attempt to ride a skateboard and hulahoop. I’m a kid at heart. I also love Stampin’ UP! I love to make cards and crafts. My husband and I are into photography. Nothing professional yet, more of a hobby.

You will be laughing at me for sure. I have chronic pain/fatigue (not the funny part), but I constantly wear pajama bottoms and skateshoes. I like to be as comfortable as possible!!! LOL!!

I’m sure that we are all going to have a great time!!!

See you soon!

Jessi

Apr 29, Rachel wrote:

Oh you’ll fit right in!!!!!  You and I can sit in the sun in our jammies and laugh at the neighbors and when we’re done laughing at the neighbors we can put on a show so they can laugh at us!

Apr 29, Kristen wrote:

Jessi – there isn’t a person among us who isn’t wonderful, silly, dealing with underlying challenges, slightly self-apologetic and excited about life.  I can’t say this about everybody in the neighborhood and ward – but these women, most of whom are older than you are, by the way, are not the kind of people who talk about other people behind their backs, who are unkind, unwilling to see the best where they can. And they all are very thoughtful and serious about the gospel.  They return what they borrow. They have a deep foundation of hope and respect for others.  And they all work very hard.  They stand up straight.  They laugh like crazy. They cry when they are moved spiritually, or lovingly.

We don’t get together very often because we’re going six-ways-to-Sunday.  Many of us live demanding lives (that would not be me – the oldest and the empty nester).  But being in the same ward, and neighbors keeps us connected.  And the internet does – our words connect us.  Some of these people are the bravest women I know.  I am the least among them.

You won’t have us dropping by every day or hanging out much.  But we’re always running in the background, like virus software, keeping each other honest.

And summer nights (assuming this isn’t the worst year for mosquitos ever) are nice in the front yard.  You’re lucky to live next door to Tuinei’s.

Apr 29, Kathy V wrote:

Wow. Kristen. That was beautiful. Or I should say, “love”ly, cuz it made me cry.  Of course you are not the least. You are the lead.

Apr 29, Rachel wrote:

Listen to her!  Listen to Kristen going on and on about not being brave and the least among us!  I am so going to come over with a baseball bat and whip your little butt!!  Honestly!!!  Grrrrr!  You are downright impossible!!!!

Apr 29, Kathy V. wrote:

You know. We might as well address this now…

Jessica, Do you play the piano?

Apr 29, Rachel wrote:

LOLOLOLOL!!!  I just fell off my chair.  

Apr 29, Misty wrote:

I just fell off my rocker. Oh. Wait. To hear Kristen talk it should be her falling off the rocker. DOH!!

Cameron has two weeks left in the mission. Wow.

A rumor starting going around a few days ago that some missionaries would be getting shipped out of Vava’u tomorrow (with me and the other finishing zone leader being a part of it) so I was sort of worried that it would be true. This is for sure my last week here in Vava’u so i would have been bummed if i couldn’t finish what i started here, but now I’m pretty sure I’ll be here till next Monday so I’m glad. One of our investigators we’ve been working towards for the last two transfers will be baptized this week along with the 10 year old daughter of a woman who is coming back to the church, so it’ll be fun to be there. We just started teaching a girl who’s been coming to church on and off for the last few months but has been too busy with school to be taught. We’re pretty sure she’s already decided she wants to join the church so if we finish the lessons and she’s repentant then maybe she’ll be baptized too on saturday. The members would like that. My companion has told everyone this is my last week here and they’re all trying to find ways to send me off (having me baptize people is the most popular choice), but I’m not pushing for anything. But anyway the work is good and I’ll have enough to keep me busy till the day i leave, so I’m grateful for that. I’m excited to hear about Alisha’s investigator who got baptized. Here in Tonga (probably not different than other places in the world) the work depends entirely on the members. Lucky for us half of the population are members so sometimes it’s like things come easily for us while the rest of the missionary world are killing themselves just for something (kind of like me in Ha’apai). But anyway congrats Aligal, i hope the last 6 months were worth it. I would be happy if i served two years and only baptized my platinum investigator from Ha’ateiho.

I love you all very much but i think i want to see Oakley the most out of y’alls so i hope you guys up in no mans land can make it down for the 9th. If not it’s cool, i have been in one of the slowest countries in the world for the last two years so waiting a while won’t get to me.
Dad’s gona love me when i get home…

yup. ofa atu

El Van Wagoner