i re-did the fool
& am loving the web
i just finished “the sacrifice” & am contemplating “death”
my punkrock mixtape
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tarot update
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mourning like a rockstar….
yesterday was the 17th anniversary of my brother’s death.
probably murdered by his own political party after he was called to testify about his role in stolen elections.
i’ve been coping with his death better the last few years
but do tend to drink whiskey this time of year
so yesterday
feeling sad & thinking of mike
i just drank whiskey & made art cards all day
also
i was all like
wait…i can use non-human skulls as well….if you want me to mail you a random postcard, message me your address ([email protected])
or
as always
you can buy my art ($10 per card; 3 for $25)
or donate to my cause (both venmo & paypal via my email address)so happy solstice, y’all
take care & hold your loved ones tight -
skulls & tentacles
so i started drawing these guys that showed up in my art journal one day & just love them so much that they became my solstice greeting card for this year.
also!
i am re-doing the little progress i made with a tarot deck by switching to a skull & tentacles tarot deck.
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going smaller
i decided since i am having trouble actually doing a roadtrip tour of independent bookstores of the midwest, i will mail out a copy of my novel to them…with a postcard!
i have been having so much fun making the postcards, that i am reluctant to stop.
so i will sell off the excess…& keep on making postcard art.
because
it makes me happy.
so there.
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admitting defeat
“fish eyes” 9×12 mixed media on inkstained watercolor paper lately i am realizing all the things i am not; all the people i am not:
i am not a small town person
i am not a fixer-upper of the broken down
i am not a knitter
i am not a maker of mosaics
i am not a kindred soul
i am not a keeper of livestock
i am not a willing community member
i am not a nice person
i am not a well-behaved person
i am not a commercial artist
i am not a commercial writer
i am not successful
i am not a world changer
i am not an influencer
i am not good at relationships
i am not good at housekeeping
i am not good at housemaking
i am not a good mother
i am not able to be conventional
i am not someone who wants to cook on a woodburning stove
i am not someone who wants to “rough it”
i am not good at sitting still
i am not good at putting down roots
i am not easy to get along with
i don’t play well with others
i am not good with commitments
i am not good with responsibilities…so what am i then?
who am i?
maybe clearing all this away, the person i want to be, the person i really am can emerge like a fucking butterfly. rise from the flames like a goddamned phoenix.
right?i’m selling my house. admitting that i cannot do this alone & do not want to do this alone. i am never going to fix up my house…never going to finish what i started.
i will miss my yard, but i will not miss the stress of daily looking at the mess i have made, wondering when i will ever get the oomph to fix it (i won’t, ever, as it turns out)
so i’m admitting defeat & moving into a city, moving into a rental, saying “fuck it.”
i wanted to end my life more than anything last friday.
turns out there is more than one way to do that.
“simon smith” 8×8 mixed media on inkstained watercolor paper i’m also going to quit making art to sell for awhile
&
maybe
my zine as well…
i will still write & draw but without my vain search for an audience. -
twat the zine issue 6
issue 6 now available
it is $5 a copy plus $2 per order
for shipping & handling
&
as always
back issues are available
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mixed media art
these are some of the mixed media pieces i have been working on. i find that if i just keep drawing, the demons are easier to play with.
the following are inkstains that i found images in & finished with pencil, pastel, & more ink:
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twat the zine issue 5 now available
i am now in the process of doodling & binding issue five of twat the zine.
if you have an interest in this issue or past issues, simply message me here or email me at: [email protected]
i am also open to swaps.
i ask $5 a copy with $2 shipping per order.on saturday, you will be able to find me in viroqua at the viroqua public market (aka “main street station”) for their vendor day event.
i will be putting together copies of issue five as well as pimping my novel–my demon mixtape.
& show-casing any new artwork i have done.
who knows, maybe i will bring my tarot as well & offer free tarot readings. -
twat issue 5
i have put together issue 5
but am waiting on any submissions
do you wish
to submit
to twat the zine?
(in every sense of the word)
or just send me something cool you wrote
or drew
or
send me a shout-out for the back page
send any submissions to [email protected]
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best review ever
KODAK Digital Still Camera “your book is fantastic. you are funny and real and wise and articulate with otherwise difficult concepts to write about. wildly creative. im about halfway through and don’t want to put it down. If I knew a publisher I would send them a copy, but i dont. your novel deserves to be available to a vast population…..you are an excellent writer.
…Crazy ending. Very satisfying. …You have a unique mind, a unique way of looking at people and life. There is part of me that wants to understand you, but at the same time knows that is not possible. You have a casual way of describing exactly with a surgeon precision, the extreme angst of being a human being. Cool and casual and it does intrigue and scare me a bit overall, I do not know what to think but your writing feels very real in an uncomfortable sort of way that hurts and feels so good and refreshing.”
robert caldwell
artist
my punkrock mixtape 
