Our world right now, seems to be righting/wronging itself. While nature seems to be sweeping, washing and re-claiming its place, Humans(who think are outside the nature’s realm) are seeing a worm infestation. It does seems like all kinds of worms are coming out of the woodwork in all different parts of our world. Every field/system humans prided at putting up, is crawling with worms, mostly slimy ones. Guess we aren’t good at maintenance of the systems. Or the worms just caught up with our speed after they walked on their itty-bitty legs.

We prided ourselves with our different civilizations and cultures. History texts speak proudly of the zenith and decline of each of them. But we never thought we would get to the second part, ever… I know our eyesight isn’t the sharpest among vertebrates and humans compensated with inventions of optical instruments. I am beginning to think, none of those instruments matter, we have bad visual acuity. It has less to do with our eyes and more with our brain.

Being an outsider, can be a double edged sword. When an event happens you could look at it
1. from your own cultural experience and biases, completely misinterpreting the meaning of what you are seeing and hearing
2. you could have something akin to a Vulcun(yes, its fictional place and idea) like experience, where you look at things without a stake, without any emotional investment, without any historical dynamics to bank on. It gives you what is, in its complete Is-ness.
On rare occasions, we see a Human Outsider, have a view that they are a part of everything, so become so disenchanted with the way the world is or dying slow inner deaths while working to change things.
Me, I am all and none of the above. I am flip-flopper- I flip according to my feeling and flop according to the time and space available in my life for things that aren’t my priority.

I grew up in Bangalore. Bangalore, now called Bengaluru, the Capital of the Southern State of Karnataka, in India. Where I lived, there were more people who spoke non-native languages than the native language of the state – Kannada. One would think, since I was a native to Karnataka I was the insider. Ah! The Universe conspired. I am part of a group of people called the Kodavas, who speak a dialect Kodava-Thak. Our small piece of earth, which we say our Umbilical is buried in, is the region of Kodagu aka Coorg. This small piece of earth, which was a State of its own right, was included into the State of Karnataka in 1956, a whole 9 years after the Indian Independence. The older generation, who know of this are still pretty miffed about it and for a while there was a Younger generation that protested being part of Karnataka. Therefore, I was an outsider in Bengaluru, by virtue of the fact that my ancestors are from Kodagu.

Here is the stereotypical view of Kannadigas(native people of Karnataka who speak the language, Kannada) that I have come to, growing up – They are very hospitable, very accommodating, not very egotistical, very welcoming, very conflict avoiding, not braggarts, very humble and down to earth, mostly well educated, very pious, very willing to learn, nature lovers. And this, is the stereotypical view of the Kodavas(Natives of the District of Kodagu who speak Kodava-Thak) – They are very hard-working, mostly educated, nature-lovers, down to earth sons/daughters of the soil, hospitable, accommodating, very proud of their traditions, language and non-Brahmanical culture, very bold/brave, mostly join the armed forces or a sports field.
So I guess since most of the traits were similar, it was fine to take Kodagu into Karnataka. Territorial extension was like welcoming a guest into your house, even if the guest’s family members might have had objections. Similarly, Territorial excommunication, aka, putting restrictions on alien’s entering your state/country; building a wall, etc. can be seen as a mark of respect – “Hey! We don’t want to dilute yours or our customs or language. You stay in your place, I in mine.”
In all of these invisible territorial lines, Humans forget – they don’t own the earth or its resources; people moved/migrated when resources dwindled or natural disasters occurred; people migrated when there were unbearable stresses, like poverty or terrorism where they lived; if you created situations of conflict, people migrated to leave the place of conflict. Its been this way all through history…but Humans never learn. We don’t want to use our brain.

How did I cope with being an outsider? I see now, in hind-sight, that my love for learning languages was a coping mechanism…Learning the other’s language put the other in a place of being more civil. Cause I understood what they said, I could be part of who they were, I could participate in what was important to them… Language was what ties Identities, made in-groups. But in all of this I was the Giver. The only thing the other gave was “Wary Inclusiveness” once I knew their language. In hind-sight, Me, always being the watcher was a coping mechanism. I never pushed to join to quickly, I knew to wait, I watched and waited…If anyone asked what I was good at, I could say Waiting, next to Sleeping. This was my childhood, as I grew older, it didn’t matter, cause there were other ways I could be included, I could use my words, my character, my knowledge etc…So why am I stating the obvious? Cause there are many who don’t understand how much effort it takes for a person to do these things to just be acknowledged as existing. Yes, there is the other option, – Who cares, just don’t belong anywhere, how does it matter? It does in the long run…It changes what we define Humanity is. Nothing matters, when considered in a small span of time. Everything matters, when considered over an epoch.

The Supreme court in India did something very weird and long over due, in its time so far, within a span of two months – it changed two laws which were very archaic – The Adultery law, in which a woman couldn’t be punished for adultery but the Man could be. And what was revolting was this definition under the law “Adultery.—Whoever has sexual intercourse with a person who is and whom he knows or has reason to believe to be the wife of another man, without the consent or connivance of that man, such sexual intercourse not amounting to the offense of rape, is guilty of the offense of adultery, and shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to five years, or with fine, or with both. In such case the wife shall not be punishable as an abettor.” and the Gay Sex law which was in line with the British Rule “ British-era section 377 of the penal code that penalized people for their sexual orientation and ordered that gay sex among consenting adults is not an offence.” My reaction, reminds me of what my grandmother would have said “The world is turning inside out.”

Meanwhile, the Nomination of Kavanaugh to the US Supreme Court has hit obstacles, a month before the mid-term elections. I guess the blame squarely falls on the MeToo movement. At least that’s what those against the movement will say. What do I say “Its high time the world turned inside out.” I am done putting up with excuses for Bad Behaviour; for all the condescension I have put up with many “Know It All” Males who traverse through my life; for all the disrespectful tones of voice, facial expressions and body expressions I have seen happen, when a female who rocks the boat is in the room; for all the mansplaining I have had to listen to with an inane smile; for all the women who decide that this is the time to “Play fair and look at the other side, where Boys will be boys.”; for all the times I had to decide to make my safety a priority and not say or do the things I wanted to; for all the times I watched my sisters go through what I wish they never ever had to go through; for all the times Women and Men were put on the pedestal for “(wo)manly behavior”; for all the times I had to listen to from old Crones and Codgers, what virtues a true (wo)man had. Enough!!! Already. Universe, please dispense some fairness, as the word means in the dictionary, please… Okay. Yes, I know Karma is you dispensing justice, but would you please hurry, so I see it before I die? I am done ranting…I put away my rant mask and go back to being the wallflower me, that excels at wait and watch.

In Ambivalent disgust of the Hearing
Signing off
You know who.