The Cherry blossom

The plum blossoms

These flowers were on the apple tree that has just begun to bloom.

When I first saw the flowers in these trees, I never knew the difference, they all looked same, the colours were the same, and from a distance, they looked no different, except if you looked at the leaves. Of course, if you wait for the fruits you surely can tell the apple from the plum and the plum from cherry.

I love standing under the cherry tree as the wind blows, the petals snowing on me, but it isnt cold…make a wish, put your hand out and if a petal lands, your wish might come true…If you wait long, all wishes might come true.

1. The news is fill about the places of worship succumbing to accidents(fire). We can look upon it as Human error, destruction etc. or look upon it as a sign. If we take it as a human error, then thats all it is. But it is intriguing if we did take the second option – I guess time is making sure it moves, with the removal of old, replacing with new. Fire is symbolic in my culture, it usually implies a witness to a rite of passage. I wonder what rite of passage humanity has to go through in this moment.
2. I dreamed of Avalanche. The yin and yang in me as usual pulled in different directions. One wants to dismiss it as a dream and the other, look at the deeper meaning if any can be gleaned…The disaster was so spectacular a view in my dream, that I wanted to hold to to it, and interpret it. My mother, if she were here, would say, I have nothing better to do. Or she would have told me what my grandmother thought the interpretation was.  I am ambivalent about Avalanches cause  grew up where it wasn’t common or even thought of in our everyday life.
3. I have been reading a few books and I seem to have reached an impasse. I think I am saturated with reading or I must be going through a phase of not wanting to read. I am stuck in the middle of Sapiens. and two other books.
4. My planters require plants to replace the ones that died over this winter. Would having a memorial for the plants that died seem like I am going nuts? They too hold life, so why dont we ever mourn them like we do humans, I wonder.
5. My family/clan on Whatsapp has nothing other than election campaign messages, that it is making me wonder how much I truly know about them. Somehow you find out all the opinions they have and much against your better judgement you end up judging them for it, especially when you hear the narrow-mindedness in the tone. I have to learn to let go. I have to learn to accept them for who they are.
6. My children are growing up and I feel like my growing up has stalled. At times, I feel like a Bonsai, stuck up in what I need to do in my life of responsibility, while my insides wants to leave and never return to this life. I truly get why Siddharta left his palace and family to become the Buddha.
7. Is it a phase that all of us go through, where one day you just get up and have the existential crisis? The questions bombard you like as if you never asked them before or never pondered the answers to before?
8. I should take up a new hobby…that should be a note to self.
9. It was the Festival of Baisakhi on my spouse’s side and Edamyar/vishu on my side of the family(names for the same festival in different parts of the India, depending on what the mother tongue is)…both celebrating the completion of Spring Equinox. My Clan gathered to celebrate this in our ancestral home. I try not to think of the things I miss…but for the last few years, it is becoming harder. I feel like when I get back to the people from who I come, none will remember I am part of the family. Cause I miss so many events due to the distance and economic constraits.  I wish Teleportation was a reality…
10. I became aware of my previleged existence, while I stood watching the chickadees through the window, do the twitter dance about “would you like the nest here?  Sure, if you would live with me.” I sent a silent thanks to the universe, head bowed in gratitude.

Signing off

You know who.