This year, I managed to grow Roma Tomatoes, Vine Tomatoes(they are not ripe yet), Yard Beans, French Beans, Cilantro, Mint, Amaranth and Pumpkin. I still have Roses, and other flowers that I planted over the years. I also got a couple of succulents to add to the two Ice plants and Hens and Chicks(Sempervivum). The weather was not typical of the NW weather. It was drier and hotter but it was a better year for plants in my planters, of course, I had to make sure all had enough water. I also had to lay to rest one of the Sage plants, and a couple of Strawberry plants and Blueberry and Thai pepper, decided to leave too, along with one Lemon plant that was about 1/2 foot tall. It is always win some, lose some.

Presenting some of the flowers and harvest I got this year.

Top to bottom, left to right – Hydrangea, Yard Bean Flowers, Wisteria, Calla Lilly, Lilly of the Valley.

Left to right – Figs, Yard Beans, French beans and Roma Tomatoes.

Preparing the soil, sowing the seeds, watching them sprout, the profusion of colors, flower and fruit gives me a joy that I cant explain. I watch the flowers and fruits, invite the bees , butterflies, hummingbirds, sparrows, chickadees, jays, woodpecker, finches, crows, ravens, on occasion wild rabbits, raccoons and neighbours cats. I have watched a peregrine falcon come and carry away a mouse. There is a rhythm to the whole process, of growth and death. I am grateful for life allowing me to watch this process. If I had the capital, growing plants would be something I would love to do.

Signing off

you know who.

While seeing, watching, and observing the world, we become aware of what we really care about, our blind spots, our perceptions and the distortions in our perception . Stepping Back is an art form. It gives us a better perspective, before we end up shooting our mouths or alienating the object /person we are interacting with. But, stepping back isn’t easy to master. It requires us to go in steps, just like everything we do in life- we never walk well without stumbling and falling many times. Sometimes an wound caused by the fall will illicit an all or nothing reaction in us, and how we navigate that moment changes us and our view of the world around us and builds our resilience.

Any place that people gather in person(as part of a club, association, organization etc.) or virtually (social media platforms, discussion boards, blog world) seem to do two things to people – 1. give a sense of belonging, with an echo chamber that gives a feeling of being in the majority/dominant group that has a Feeling of Being Right OR unbelonging and the unraveling due to isolation(human beings don’t thrive in isolation, at least that is what various studies on human behaviour shows) 2. a need to become fanatical about the views, conventions, rules, protocols, rituals, dogma of the group they belong to or a rebellion towards all of the views, rules, etc.- For or Against Behaviour.

This has been my observation and feeling while watching the crowds. Anyone who might have a balanced view of things is usually shut down or not ever allowed in or given an opportunity to voice any of their opinions or given room for their actions. The Trend seems to be Anything on the Extremes is a good thing. The Extremes makes most people Access their Reptilian Brain(A Fear/Discomfort that triggers a Flight, Freeze or Fight response). There is Drama! which gives the required viewership and attention to the said group or media, and need for fame or clout or sphere of influence for capitalistic gains or an emotional/mental need are met.

This is where taking a Step Back makes sense. It is an exercise I have been a failure at, most times. When I read/listen to the News(its something we end up doing even if we are just check the weather report) I try to practice Stepping Back with the questions “Is this True? Is there corroboration? What is the Context? What was the conversation that lead to this response? Are the people qualified to make this statement?” With People, before I respond, I try the Buddhist principle of stepping back with “Is it True? Helpful? Inspiring? Necessary? Kind?” and if it is a no! to any off those questions, I dont say what I was going to(at least I like to think so). And Yes! I fail miserably at remembering this most times.

The words Trigger and Trauma Response are used very often in Mental Health, that it is becoming a way of looking at the world. I agree with the fact that None in our world are without an experience of some form of trauma or triggers. It is hard for each of us to work at it on our own and makes us overly cautious of being authentic in our interactions. When we are not sure if the interaction will be pleasant, we lean heavy on avoidance and isolation behaviours(was reading about the Japanese word Hikikomori and its implications on everyday life). Stepping back helps us review the situation we are in, helps us chose words and actions that could help with what the situation is, rather than going with our Limbic brain’s response.

Now, I recognize the Irony of these thoughts of mine that I have put out in a place where others “Could” read, being similar as looking for attention or, some kind of validation. So Thank You, dear readers, friends and family who read and respond…it makes me feel like I have a place I don’t have to fight for within this space and time

Signing off,

You know who.

The past weeks there has been discussions within my family, clan and people I am part of, on the topics of Cultural Appropriation, Identity and Rights within a Community. I have different views than them, I discovered, by virtue of the fact that the path I was pushed into or choices I made, consciously or unconsciously, has allowed me to see the other side of things. For this, I am grateful to the Universe.

These are the things I gleaned from watching, listening and opining where I could – In the time of forced stay home, a lot of us are grappling with what our Identity is and what the rules for Identification are, within our community and the world at large. As the Identity that depended on our Vocation is disappearing, along with the other circles we were part of. People are wondering where they actually Belong. (Note : There are lots of new communities being formed, as we cope with the changes in social interactions.)

I also became aware – that depending on who you marry your Identity can change especially if you are a Woman(of course, I knew women went from Woman to Wife) – any Woman (doesnt apply for the Man) who has not met the implicit rule of marrying within their own community loses their previous Identity, the women are considered as someone who LEFT the Community, therefore treated as outsiders who have no right to opine about the community they were born into.

The power of Brawn(Emotional pressure via Mob Mentality/physical pressure via large crowds gathering) overrules any Brain aspect of things. Any Person, who use their understanding via education to speak of the Rights, or Logically points to where the wrong is, are treated with disdain, the points they make are selectively twisted and are completely disrespected through words and deeds, as someone who is bringing their Community down. The reasoning – If you weren’t born in this community you couldn’t have got that education, so be grateful and be loyal even if you dont agree with things or things are clearly Wrong.

Anger, Frustration, Entitlement Issues, Superiority and Inferiority Complexes, Ad Hominem arguments, A lack of awareness of their own Implicit Bias, Hypocrisy etc. do not make it conducive for Communication to Occur or Resolving any Issue or Help find any Solutions. I have to watch myself for what I feel while talking.

As I listened, it occurred to me that, I cant use just one word to explain All that I Am(Identity). I can never say “This is What I am” for all of the time I lived and all the time until I die. I only know what I am in the moment in the context of what the circumstance is. I have different hues, tiles, threads woven into who I am. I am not separate from any of those different Identities at any time, even when I use only One of them at any Time. The only Identity that holds for all of my life, is the fact that I am Human. Or at the least the fact that Human is the conventional name, I and others can agree upon for my Identity. All other identities will change according to what I say or do and how others can see me. Which means, that my Identity isn’t a solid tangible thing like, say, the ground we walk on. If I never stayed in One Place, or no one ever knew me(which is improbable), I can say whatever I want for My Identity and the Other will have to take my word for it.

Cultural Appropriation- a topic I dont have a clear understanding of. I believe in Respecting people and their traditions and customs- which means, I will never Knowingly use any of things that other cultures deem as part of their culture, as mine or treat their stuff with malicious intent. Most times it is unclear where the lines are. It causes me grief. In some cultures traditional clothing, tattoo designs, jewelry, ancestral artifacts, traditional foods, ingredients used in rituals, being in a certain place like an ancestral burial site, is important and it is considered disrespectful, if people of other communities to go to such places or use the said items when they don’t understand its nuance. While in some places and people, everything is about monetary gain, so sold for a good price. It is very confusing.

Rights – Its such a fleeting thing. It is given and taken away depending on who is in Power and what they think is Right or Wrong. No matter where we go in this world, our rights is such an ephemeral thing. We can talk all we want about rights, but how it manifests in the realty of life, depends on how much Influence and Wealth a person has and sometimes how many people like the person you are(Yep, think about jobs got through references). Which means most of us are choosing our battles with respect to Rights. Will Rights ever be something that cant be given or taken so we dont have to Fight for our Right, but IS because its the right thing to do, and not because we feel entitled?

All of the discussions only reinforced my belief in Karma – “All actions and inactions have consequences.”

Hoping to let go of my ineptitude as I learn the ways of our World

Signing off

You know who.