Monday, January 24, 2011

Mad World - Adam Lambert

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me

Sunday, January 02, 2011

To add on to what i need to do in 2011:

- "Find myself"
- Be more understanding. Keep my emotions checked all the time, make sure they are in place. I need to put myself in others pov to understand and to see the reason why certain things happen. I can't flare up for nothing without understanding the cause. The word, chance. Mean what i say when i use the word 'chance'. A simple thing to do, yet not so easy to achieve, to fully understand the reason and cause for it.
- Learn to be appreciative. Appreciate what others do for me. Things do happen at the back- preparations, planning. Just because i don't see it for myself doesn't mean that they did not happen. I am just unaware of why it just happened but i have to be thankful that it did.
- Looking at things from a different pov. Perceptions. There's no right or wrong- it's our perceptions that shape it. What may be right in our eyes may not be what is deemed right in others, or maybe even the law. Shall not bring the law aspect out but really, it all depends on how we're looking at it.
- Learn how to carry out fully the meaning of work hard, play hard. Relax because taking a break will give me a better estimate and judgement. It's the same logic as how some Japanese companies adopt the 1hr lunch + 1hr nap logic. Helps in the brain's activities.
- Change. Change for myself, not for others. Believe in what is right for myself, believe in what will help me in the future. I need to change for the better. Everything that has been mentioned above is part of change. Change encompasses effort, time, the help of others, the effort of others too i would say.

I haven't been giving myself a good rest. A good break would mean catching up on things i've always wanted to do. Stay in bed until i wake up feeling all refreshed and happy without the use of an alarm clock, catching up on dramas that i've always wanted to watch. Meeting people i've always wanted to meet and catch up with.

(i feel like buying myself a dog though. but it's impossible.)

I need to stop working and stop finding excuses to keep myself busy and really give myself a time to relax. Need to appreciate life as it is.

I've been talking to people lately about how i feel. I can't say that they understand it because as usual, i don't see myself understanding what i've said but, it's because i need someone to talk to. i've been restricting myself, avoiding things, i don't want to see a repeat of 2010 in 2011. A new year is a year where we give ourself more chances to atone for our mistakes and to avoid those that we do not want to. I can't say 2010 has been a good year- so many ups and downs that i get so sick and tired of it.

A friend told me that 2011 may start badly but it depends on ourselves ultimately to see if it'll be a good year. Perceptions. It's really how we choose to do things, how we choose to see things. Maybe, it's time for me to face up to reality.

We may spend too much time attempting to find a solution because we just are choose not to accept the one that is available.

2011 is a major change in my life. A new phase.

Face it. Or should i say, fuck it?

Labels: 2011