Been going out almost daily. Been spending a lot. Can't say i'm totally happy with my new found freedom but still, taking things slowly, learning how to let go. One thing that i know of is i am sick of working! i dont wanna be confined to this office for 5 days a week, from 9pm to 6pm. I need the me time. i wanna stay home, use my hdmi cable, be a couch potato, catch up on dramas, sleep, pack my room. i need to reflect on life! in fact, i have the funniest ideas as the weirdest times. i feel like writing about my past 3 years. it's a way for me to channel out my thoughts and feelings i guess. i've been hiding all my emotions and many can tell that i've been unhappy, although i havent been talking much about it.

i'm not the best person, definitely. but i'm working to being a better person. learning how to handle things as they come, to think in a more mature way, to be more independent. i've grown up, as compared to the past. i know i've changed. i'm still learning, not sure when will i master the skills, but who can master such skills?

life has been better than the past, at least i can sit down and watch an episode of show on channel 8 without feeling guilty. i can read the papers while sitting on the rocking chair. i can play with my nephews when they come without having to leave halfway to study.

i'm hitting the big 2-0 soon in a few months time. i've got a few more months to be a better person and to reorganize my life. let's start with tidying up my bookmarks on my browsers. feels good to delete things one by one. i'm secretly a perfectionist.

there are people you know you want to keep in life, and some who are not worth keeping. now i know. go me.

ying qian ♥ 12:31 AM.