This is necessary, at least for me.

So the world didn't end eh? Kekekeke! 

3 more days and we can kiss year 2012 goodbye. I really think this post is necessary. :D

Syiok sendiri post. I shall do the year review for myself.

I'm proud of myself, for finally getting active in sports. Finally. Back in school, I don't really do anything for sports. Joined Muay Thai class for roughly 6 months already and I'm pleased to know that it is showing result. I lost about 2kg? As for my diet, I'm really bad at it. Hahah. Cut down on rice but still go for all the fattening but delicious food. What can I do? I love food. Felt some difference at the fat thighs and flabby arms. There are some muscles, not just fats. Haha!

For year 2013, I want to be able to do these :

- a stronger kicks and punches

- more toned upper legs (basically no stupid fat thighs)

- an awesome 1 minute speed punch

- a good high kick

Career is a little slow. There are heavier workloads for me alone throughout this year. You probably can tell how stressful I was. Had several breakdowns. It wasn't a good thing to put up with. but recently, I noticed some positive changes going on in this small company. I feel better. 

For year 2013, I hope for these :

- salary increment, if can, please make it bigger increment. I know I well-deserve this.

- some new staffs under Creative department please? I'm alone T_T

- be a better employee and not turn up late for work. Hehe!

Recently, we received a legal letter from the landlord. That's right, we were told to vacate in 3 months time. Oh well, I have mixed feelings. Sad to know I'm leaving the place where I grew up at. Happy to know I'm going to be out of this stupid Little India neighbourhood. 

For year 2013, I hope I can get a good place for my family to stay. Rent or buy. whatever it is.

Papa had a critical moment and I'm very, very grateful that he survived that moment. Felt like God gave us second chance. Yen finally made up her mind for her future and I am relieved to know this is happening.

For year 2013, I hope Papa will be able to control his sugar level and blood pressure and also Yen will be able to continue her studies smoothly.

Mr Jufri and I. hehehe. He is a man full with surprises! Anyway, our relationship is so far so good. I'm thankful. Ups and downs, all that cliché thing that most couples go through... Yeah, we did too. I still feel butterflies when I go out with him. Should be a good sign right? :D

For year 2013, I hope this relationship will maintain steady and hopefully no problems coming to our way.

I think I am done. It sucks to know that I am working on New Year Eve. Blergh.

Happy New Year! :)

Little Thing

Here is a thing...
He loves me, but he doesn't make me feel "beautiful" in his eyes...

If only he understand this feeling inside of my heart right now..

Finally addicted to it.

This is so slow. I mean, most people are already doing this way back, and I just started to get addicted to it. Help me, I'm addicted to online shopping. D:

I used to be sceptical about it. It took me years to accept this concept and finally getting into it! Got frightened with those complaints online about this blogshop and that blogshop. That was what stopped me from trying it.

Now, this is becoming a difference story. I got hooked to Zalora already. Found out long time ago, but just only tried ordering products from them this year. First time, I bought myself two pairs of ballerina flats and a top. I was satisfied. Luckily there was this size guide on their website! Phew! Got the right size.

Oh yeah, one bad news though.

This one went to the rubbish bin recently because it went soaking in the rain with me after office hours for a week! IT STINKS. So does my tapak kaki. Tried Febreeze and Scholl Odour Spray. Nothing works. I was a little upset. I loved the dull colours so much. :(

Last week, I purchased another two pairs. One is a pair of office flats in black. The other one was a pair of orange sandals. That was to comfort my feelings after the first pair of flats got thrown away without any choices.

Ok I lied. More like, I'm just freaking addicted to it. I love the excitement of waiting for the products to arrive. And I love how I still can spend money without going into the mall. I really had no time on weekends now. Sad life, I know.

Another thing is, as I just received my second order, I happened to read some online posts about Zalora. It was some customer's bad experiences.I was surprised because I had no idea about this! So far, I'm thankful that Zalora really did a good job by delivering my items on time. Phew.

I think I really saved a lot of time. Heheh. But then, I still have no confidence to buy pants online. My fat thighs are still with me. LOL. You just wait, fatty thighs. Imma get rid of you! >)

Zalora is not the only place I spent my money online. I actually spend few ringgits for a stupid game. Hahaha. Goodgame Cafe. Need to pay if we want the golds. But I have a good reason. The food that I cooked in my restaurant got spoiled. In order not to waste my coins on buying the ingredients, I need to spend 1 gold to save the dish! Reasonable okay! Your argument is invalid. :D

I'm currently waiting patiently for The Body Shop products to arrive. :) Aloe Vera range of facial care. Free delivery since I spent more than RM120. Again, I have good reasons. No time to go shopping. The face just went through a tough time; went to Sepang Gold Coast for shortfilm shooting and got sunburned. And also, I was so smart to use Guardian's Facial Wipe. Ended up with rashes and sunburned skin. Now the skin is flaking. so annoying!

Anyway, life is good when I can shop online.

I'm a happy soul now.

Punch the Bag & Avoid the Idiot.

One of the things that I'm thankful about is my Muay Thai class. Without these night work outs, I don't think I can feel any better now. If you read my previous emotional posts, you would roughly know what troubles me. It's like, I cannot be at home or office for long. It would kill me inside. Seriously.

So, yes Muay Thai class after office hours would be very helpful. As if I could punch out the anger and pressure inside. Let the punching bag be the one to take off these negative vibes from me. 2 hours of training for twice a week. Good enough for me. I'm still trying to lose few more kgs. Tone up. Some said I'm going to be skinny. Don't be silly. I'm not interested.

Class would have been awesome if I don't meet "some" irritating people there. Currently, I'm really in the mission of avoiding this African guy who recently joined the class. Let's call him A. He was cool and all at first. Now he is really getting on my nerves. 

Situation 1:

I was chatting with another new buddy who trains there too - J. Some other guys were there too. Somehow, we were talking about my background identity. 

Me : Yeah, my kampung is at Thailand (or something. Kinda forgotten what I really said)

J     : oooo...

Suddenly, the busybody A walked into the middle and interfered.

A    : Yeah, we both come from the same place...

2 seconds of silence.

Then, everyone else started laughing as if it was very funny. I can tell how fake was the laugh.  

I know he is just joking, but I really think he shouldn't come and get into the conversation. I barely know him! And yeah, the joke is lame. Asia is not the same with Africa. Get a map and study it first. pffft!

Situation 2:

Note : Herherher/Herher : Fake laugh, usually used on morons/idiots/annoying person.

I got a temporary tattoo of barcode on my left wrist. It was meant for Stan's short film. And of course, A happened to see it and starts to get busybody.

A   : What's that? 

Me : Oh, nothing..just for my project. (trying to end conversation by turning away)

A   : Pro-ject? *Stares at me, wanting to know more

Me : Errr.. Some short film project. yeah.

A   : ooooo. I have one too! *shows his wrist

Obviously his wrist got nothing on it! He just doing his stupid lame joke. 

Me : Herher. Yeah....(I was wishing that somebody would just call me so I can leave!)

A   : See see.. We are a match!

Huh? What match? I feel so disgusted already. No, we are not a match. Felt so awkward but ddin't know how to brush him off nicely. The conversation gets worse after that...

A   : See, we are same height.

Me : Oh. err. Okay.

A tried to be closer to me and measure our height. God knows how grossed out I was at that time.

A  : See, we are same!

Me : *moves away* Ermm. No. herherher. You are taller.

And I quickly walked away!

A  : See, we are a match.

What the heck! Are you trying to suggest something here? Urgh! I swear I wanted to punch him already. 

Situation 3:

I was walking past him (no choice/no alternative route to my bag) and he was holding the yellow skipping rope. As I passed by, he turned around and took the rope, trying to put on my neck. I quickly dodged that disgusting act from him.

A   : *Smiles* Why? You don't like yellow?

Me : No.. more like, I don't like you!  Herher. Nothing, nothing. Oh look, yellow rope n your shirt is yellow.

And I escaped for awhile. Phew!

Situation 4:

This is fresh from last night's class. I thought I did pretty well avoiding A. Good thing there were more trainees. I planned stuffs with Yen and tell her to play along if I start talking on random stuffs. You know, it would be helpful when I know A is approaching me. Hohoho! >)

All went well until the class ended. I was discussing seriously about my worn out, temporary tattoo with Stan on the phone. Out of nowhere, A was suddenly next to me, leaning towards me so closely, trying to hear the phone conversation. What is wrong with this fella! Have you got no manners? ?? I quickly showed the pissed  off, serious face and put my left hand forward to stop him. I think he got my message.

I'm not racist, alright. In fact I used to know one good friend in college from Nigeria; Afeno! :) He was such a gentleman. A cool person. He was considerate. Totally opposite of this stupid character I met at class. 

I don't get it why he have to be so annoying. Did I become too nice and that's why he is taking that advantage? Seriously, stop acting like we are very close. I'm not comfortable. And I really wish I don't have to tell him frankly how much I hate him right now. I just want to have a good time at class. 

Let me breathe too.

It feels like I'm not really 23 years old. Time flies. I'm used to answer people that I'm 20. Sometimes, when the age question is thrown to me, I actually started thinking for a second. It's true, I tend to forget my age. I don't know why.

I've been looking forward to be a young adult. Like right now. Earn your own money, do what you are capable of. I'm just like the rest out there; I have lots of goals to achieve in life. now I'm starting to go through some dilemmas. It is just difficult to make a proper decision. So many things coming in at the same time.

Here at home, I feel like I'm still 15. He treat me like a child. He loves and care for me, I know. but sometimes he should really consider how do I feel too. I'm not a kid anymore. He forgets that easily. Screaming on top of his lungs at me in front of everyone when I can't park the car properly, showing temper at me just for going out. I love him. I still respect him though he treats me like shit sometimes. but how much can one bear with everything? Everything has its limit. I believe in mutual understanding. I tried. But he doesn't seem to accept any of my opinions anyway.

Now he restricts me from driving out for any outing. Basically, I can only drive the car for the family. That's all. All because I'm not the car owner. I'm just the guarantor. I'm so frustrated. He wanted to buy the car for family use and he is paying near to RM800 monthly. I told him way earlier that I can't help on that yet, it's a bit too high. I don't earn enough money even after work at the same place for 2 years plus. I get nothing.

And now he can come and tell me " Don't touch the car, unless you are paying for it!".  I feel so suffocated. I know he is an old man with all kinds of sickness. but that doesn't mean I have to be treated that way all the time right?

I do wish that I could afford to pay that amount every month so he can keep quiet.  And part of me feels like I should just get a car on my own. But the question is, how much can I pay?? It would be stupid to do that right now.

I don't know how long I have to go through this. Will he ever understand me? Will he ever accept the fact that I'm no longer a teenager? I just want to breathe. Give me my freedom that I deserved. After what I've done for the family, is it still not good enough? I hate to be angry at him because I know that I do not want to feel like this. After all, I love my father.

Keep Holding On.

It feels heavier now.
There is no ending. It keeps coming.
Feels so pressured.
Tired too.

Sad to say that I can only sit and hope for things to get better each day.
I see only empty promises. Nothing more than that.
I wish I can prove myself wrong.
I tried and it doesn't work out.

When is this going to be better?
When will I get what I want?
Wait, no. Not just want, but need.

I know I deserve better. I know that deep inside.
It feels like I'm going nowhere. I'm a lost child.

I regret this, a little.
But can I hope for something better to happen anytime soon?
Because of this thing that I realised, it does change things in my mind.

I need to hold on.
I need to decide.
I can choose what I want.

After all, this is about me.

Blerghhhh...
Somebody please take me away from this bullshit.
[Preferably Joe. XD HAHA]

After the hiatus

Tonight, my heart is open to blogging again. I don't know how it happened. But here I am.

I finally got my driving license. I really think I was lucky. Maybe Papa's prayer did come true. And I'm the one driving the new Alza. Auto-car, thankfully. I tried driving Joe's Viva and I give up. Why? Because it is a freaking manual car. hahahaha. But hey, I'm now proudly driving alone to Shah Alam just to meet him!

Papa recently got stroke. He fell on the floor at home while I was at work. God knows how shaken I was in the ambulance. Thank God my boss helped to drop me at home. It was such a challenge having to face the reality. That moment when someone's life is at stake. Now Papa is at home doing fine. He recovered. Thank God. The challenge now is having to deal with his crazy mood swings at home.

Muay Thai class has been awesome throughout these months. I think it has been 6 months already? I feel stronger and healthier. Heheh. Hope that I can do even better. Class is even more fun when CK, Joanne and  my sister are there too. Crazy coach too. One thing is that..I have to put up with the smell of sweat. Yucks!

Work is stressful. Dealing with people who are inconsiderate/irresponsible/fucking assholes/busybody/money-minded/fucked-up art sense. Sometimes I wonder if I am doing what I want to do. Sometimes I wonder too if I was under-appreciated. I'm doing everything I can. I don't want to give up. but everything has its limit. I'm that fussy. Even fussy about my work desk. Yes, I do not like people who simply take my stuff and then misplace it. It turns me off most of the time. Feels like flipping the work desk and just leave. hmmph!

Current online addictions that helped to calm me down : Running Man, Naruto Shippudden, Yomyomf channel, Goodgame Cafe. :D

Here is some confessions. I like how I still get butterflies when I see him. and everytime I see any good looking guy and have this temporary crush on them, they would suddenly remind me of Joe. Apa ni???? Hahaha. I think I'm crazy. Still secretly like to watch him on the bike from college years till now. Gila. Aku betul-betul dah gila.

I think Joe put some spell on me. :P

Joe gave me this huge teddy bear many months ago. Hahahaha. Such a surprise. He is not that type to buy me roses or teddy bears. I think he is gila too. xD


And....no, we are not getting married yet. not so soon. try asking again 10 years later :P

The 3rd Year

This is the third year of you and me.
I love you.
Happy Anniversary.

Me:You busuk        Joe: tak, you yang busuk

Me: Jom kita pergi makan benda lain plak. hohoho.

Joe: Finally u dah graduate      Me : phewwww...

This is no Microsoft Word, ya know?

If you do not know much, it is best to keep your mouth shut, unless you are looking forward to be a laughing stock. Seriously.

If you know nothing about the difference between 100KB and 100MB  please don't bother to say anything about the speed for file downloads.

This may sound mean, but really...You don't have to "win" everything.

If you do not know, just admit it. Nothing's wrong with that.

Just swallow your pride. We are not perfect.

We are dealing with 100MB Adobe Illustrator file. 

It takes time to upload and download it. Underseetand??

You mentioned one sentence that really show your 0% Basic IT Skills.

" It takes only 1 minute to download the file what"

Ohmagad. Somebody save me. I'm most afraid of clients like this.

Know nothing, but insist on making such statement. -___-"

Not everything in this world must be done in Microsoft Office which only gives your small size files.

If that can be done, you wouldn't have come to us right?

Part of me feels like stepping on your face, and the other part of me just want to roll on the floor and laugh at that sentence. So please, refrain from saying sentences like that. It will only invite more anger to the people who work their asses off just for your last minute task. It just doesn't help. Get your facts right before you say anything. 

Thank you for giving me a topic to rant about on this blog. Hohoho. 

Pleasure & Pressure

Surprise! I'm blogging again. And will probably go missing in action and then come back to surprise you again just like this.


Here's one obvious and cliché statement to make in every blog post :
I've been very busy with my work.

True. Since I do various tasks, I expect lots of pressure, and same-deadline-projects-killer.
Hectic but I enjoy this.

Oh yes, I do have to admit that I get other unnecessary pressures too.

Bad Team Player. 
Oh this cartoon looks just like the person who caused problem to the project. Enough said.

Caps Lock Freak.
Seriously, who needs additional pressure from clients who types with caps lock on all the time?
People who have no idea about this issue should really be sent back to school and learn how to type or write in a normal way. I need no "e-Shout" from clients when I do no mistakes. Worse part would be, people who backed these dumb clients up.
"They do not know about this Caps Lock thing. You gotta understand that"
Seriously, what kind of reason is that? Is that even acceptable?

Fine, the only one reason I can probably accept would be this:
"My keyboard malfunctioned"
..
....
......
No. Wait. Maybe not.
.
..
...
I'll probably smack the client with my keyboard. >)
Here's a special gift to the Caps Lock warriors all around the world:

Muahahaha.

You know, I've been telling myself to get active in sports or at least exercise at home.
I won't lie about this. I have bad self-discipline in this. Food's too good, how can I resist it.
If I have a personal coach, it would be very helpful.

So yes, I found a solution. Join the loved ones in an activity. I know I will be high spirited if I have a friend there with me. Now I'm officially learning Muay Thai with Joanne & CK. It was good. Went for 3 classes already. Bruises here and there. Body ache like crazy in the beginning.

Good choice.
Sweat out a lot.
Felt stronger and physically challenged.
Get to make my imagination of punching the bad team player come true.
A perfect sport to release the stress after office hours.
Feeling more Thai than ever.. :P
Few people come telling me "Habislah Joe lepas ni". Haha! That's funny.
Joe supports me in a funny way:
Me: Nape you call?
Joe: Tak, nak tanya body sakit ke tak. I call nak ejek u je.Hahaha!


Need to get a good shower and have a good sleep. Friday's here! :)
Oh, Wesak Day on Saturday. Cant wait to walk up the hill for food hunting with Mama.

Selamat Bertunang, Umi Marsella!

I had no clue at all that she was going to get engaged. Hahah! But I'm very happy to find out about this. Thanks for the invite to your engagement ceremony, Umi! :) 

I decided to share photographs from Xaty's camera! I didnt really take much photos on that day. 

Hahah. I still remember their CB gang! :D Wished I didn't close my eyes on the last group photo. Syg was there too because Umi invited him as well. It is a must for him to come because Umi was the one who helped me during our first few dates. hahahahah. :P

Ah. :) Lots of events in early 2012. All the good happenings. Glad to know that I still can catch up with friends from college/schools no matter how busy I am. 

Bumbu Desa & Karaoke - 2011

Totally forgot about these photographs. Hahah. It was last year's buka puasa session with Amira Ayoub & other MGSian mates at Bumbu Desa, The Curve. Oh yes, followed by karaoke session. :)

Managed to get these images from Amira via email:

Selamat Pengantin Baru, Ieka!

Oh yes, wedding! :)

Another classmate from primary to secondary school of mine just got married. Wheee! Congrats to Ieka & Sazlan. Thanks for the invite. Hehehe.

It wasn't just a wedding. I've met more old friends there! It makes me happy to see them again. As though I'm back to St Teresa, at the age of 10. :') There are some ex-MGSian mates too. Double joy.

Now, time for the friends. :D

All these are taken from my camera. 

Too many cameras. LOL. That's why not everyone looked at one direction. Syg was there too, but no evidence in photography. We actually forgot to take a photo together T__T.

Hope to receive more photographs from others as well. No Facebook, so it was difficult. Got to find a way to get the photographs >)

Who's wedding is next? :D Oh wait. There is one coming soon. Can't wait! ;)