L.A.M.B!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

I feel like I'm reaching for something too far.
Using stairs to reach the skyish star.
It just felt so far, so untouchable.
I hollered, unreachable.
Yet sometimes I felt the warmth.
Almost there, so I thought.
Don't give up, I was told.
The voice inside, resonating.
But the it was not the kind of voice,
That would reach the star, nor shook the sky.
Don't stop.
Don't.
Rain will fall one day.
It definitely will.
Clinging hopelessly onto the clouds.
Not for the glimmer nor for the shimmer.
But for the full bask.
Pull,
Pull through.
Trembles, parched, calloused.
I'm just afraid.

--Mary HAD a little lamb--

9/29/2011 11:04:00 PM

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Never knew driving a manual car can be so difficult until I try it.
I should have just gone for auto LOL!
I'm beginning to dislike myself more and more.
Sigh.
I want to ORD.
Like now.
I need a doctor.

--Mary HAD a little lamb--

9/18/2011 01:32:00 PM

Thursday, September 08, 2011

Today marks our 37th month.
It now becomes an occasion filled with joy, anxiety and a tinge of unhappiness.
I don't know if what I decided was right.
Or that if it is really the best for both of us.
I try and try.
Along the way, I lost track of many things.
I lost track of what is said to be our problem, in the future.
I lost track of my emotions.
They didn't run wild this time, in fact I was calm.
I didn't want to decide hastily, but to think things through thoroughly.
Where could we have ended up at?
Nothing stops us before.
Time, lifestyle distance and character.
But now what stood in front of us, is more than any mortal could harness.
Harness? Or rather, its just this wall I couldn't overcome.
For the past moments, I've been avoiding this wall.
I walked by the side, hoping for a leeway.
An entrance, a window.
Special entry of some sort.
Even if it is a pothole.
I'll dive for it.
But the solution is so clear.
I need to build this door myself.
So as to reach you, be with you.
I plot.
I measure.
I gauge.
I overestimated.
Myself, that is.
I do not have to build a door.
I could just dig my way through.
But what holds you in the end,
will not be hands full of sweat and blood.
But hands soiled.
With unorthodox and dirt.
I've decided since the day we got together.
To give you my best, to give you my all.
Learn from my mistakes, cherish you and love you.
Like I've never done before.
I did, not totally.
I guess there are still points of time when I get too conceited.
But your disappointment will always pull me back.
When things happen, people complain they do not have a choice.
When given the choice, they get crush by the weight of the choices.
Which is right, which is wrong?
This 37 have been the time of my life.
The laughter the joy.
The sorrow the pain.
Everything, every part, every moment.
Has been oh so magical.
Rainbows gummies and explorations.
Tonnes of pictures dictating our lives together.
Videos capturing our moments that we shared.
Songs that sung for us.
I'm sorry that we're like this now.
I really am.
I broke so many promises I made to you.
But that's not the point.
I broke your heart. And that's the worst crime ever.
Never doubt for a second that I do not love you.
Because I really do.
Though having said that, we have not come to a conclusion yet.
I'm in a mess. I know.
If only we can escape from all reality and live in our fantasies.
The world is too real for that.
I just want to have a carefree life.
But I got bitten in the end.
It was my indecisiveness that caused all this.
Alicia, I was wrong.
I can't bear to give you the answer we both know.
Hoping for a miracle to happen.
And it is because of this I'm causing more hurt.
I'm a policeman, yet I'm such a wimp.
Wimp not deserving your time.
Happy 37.
Are we truly happy?
I wish you were here.
I really don't know what to do.
Saying so many things. I still can't tell whats the conclusion.
Hakuna Matata.
Hakuna Matata.
Maybe I'm chanting it wrongly.
I just got bitten again.
Unfathomable reality.
Stop chewing me.

I've never met someone like you before.
Showering me with gummies.
Saving me from dummies.
Colouring rainbow to my toes.
Painting my life with many goals.
I'm glad you came.
You gave me a name.
And I'm proud of all the nick.
Sorry I turn out to be... A hick.
I love you.
I really do.
Happy 37th month.

--Mary HAD a little lamb--

9/08/2011 06:37:00 AM

Thursday, September 01, 2011

I've successfully conquered BTT and FTT.
Time to go for practical sessions!
Hope I can really finish it by this year.

Many things have been happening last month.
I must admit, its busy, hectic, tiring and draining.
PE is the major event.

And some recent craze really drive people crazy.
That includes myself.
I have no one to blame lol.
But I just got to say this, SORRY!
Maybe its to myself.

I'm a lousy man.
Need to work harder.
Life is too short.
Where do things begin?

--Mary HAD a little lamb--

9/01/2011 10:13:00 PM