When God wants to call you out of something, He will put you into situations and circumstances to bring that issue out. You either have the choice to stay a victim to it or to gain freedom from it.
For me, the lesson lately has been gaining freedom from rejection and insecurity. There was a couple in my church that married this past Saturday. It seemed like all my friends were invited except for me. Although I was curious as to why I wasn't invited seeing as I've been friends with the groom for a long time I just brushed it off. I felt a little crappy about feeling "left out" but shrugged it off.
During the week before the wedding I was at work (I work in a printing department) and a customer came in with what looked like wedding prints. It turns out that the customer was the aunt of the bride of the couple that goes to my church and she needed help printing the programs for the wedding.
I thought, "God, why are you rubbing this in my face?"
The feelings of bitterness arose again and I saw that my heart was being exposed for what it was. I was bitter that I wasn't invited to the wedding and sadly it was more out of my hurt and pain of feeling left out than for wanting to celebrate the couple in their holy union.
So, it turned out there were formatting issues with the programs and we had the customer come in the next two days as we fixed the programs. Although my manager would take over with working on the job, somehow it would always end up back on my plate. The aunt was very nice but I could feel the selfishness in my heart give myself a negative attitude.
Isn't it funny that when you have a negative attitude about something you can just speak negative things? I would think to myself negative things about the couple (Hey, just keepin' it real) and that spirit of rejection and insecurity would justify itself.
As I was working on finishing up the programs by folding it I felt God ask, "would you still be willing to serve this couple even if you didn't gain anything from it?"
Yikes.
Talk about conviction.
I prayed, "Lord, forgive me for my attitude. I repent for thinking and acting out of my own hurt and pain. Bless this couple on their marriage. I pray that this time for them is full of happiness and joy."
There was a reason why the programs needed three days to work on. Had everything worked out the first day, I would not have learned what God wanted me to and gained more freedom from the feeling of rejection and insecurity. God loves us so much that although He loves us where we're at, He never wants to leave us the same. He wants us to gain freedom from those scars that come across our hearts along this journey of life. Sometimes as Christians we can have this sense of hopelessness in mindsets from our past but life as a child of God isn't intended to be lived that way.
The more we seek Christ and His Word, the more the truth will set us free.
