I love reading blogs but I don't like blogging. Gone are the days where I was motivated to be a frequent blogger. :P I've been trying to decipher if I blogged more back in the day because it was trendy or if because I had more to say. I guess it depends on the reason why I blog too. Sometimes I blog for myself, sometimes I blog for others - to share experiences and lessons learned.
A lot has happened since I last blogged. I was trying to decide whether or not I should stay in Hawaii or move back home. Well ---- a very cool opportunity was given to me that brought me back to Seattle a month ago tomorrow. Everything happened so fast and time keeps flying. Although it was VERY bittersweet to say "goodbye" to my family and friends in Hawaii - I knew that it wouldn't be forever BEEECAAAAUUUSEE...
**drumroll**
I got a job with Hawaiian Airlines as an agent at the Sea-Tac station! I've always loved coming to the airport and traveling. To me, there is just something that is exciting about flying to a new or favorite place. Although I've heard that Gwyneth Paltrow most regrets making the film, "View From the Top," there is something about her character, Donna Jensen, that resonates with me.
"Paris,First Class, International..."
Ok, so I don't have aspirations to become a flight attendant (not yet anyway?) but I do love the idea of traveling and getting to fly to different places. And if you don't know what movie I'm talking about........ well, I don't blame you. :P
Anyway - I've been training with Hawaiian Airlines for the past couple of weeks and there is a LOT to learn. I'm excited though - this job will definitely keep me on my toes, challenge me with communicating and interacting with people, and also grow me in ways I can't imagine.
I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do in life although I know I have a strong passion to help others receive healing in past life hurts, grow in who they were meant to be, and be reconciled in broken relationships. We'll see where this leads me..until then, Aloha. ;)
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Stay or Go?
For the Type A person who desires the comforts of consistency, God has really rocked my world these past 6 months.
On one hand, I miss the comforts of home; my parents and brother, friends, church, my own bed, car, etc. On the other, being flexible in Hawaii has helped me to grow in relationships that I wouldn't otherwise. I think one of the big reasons why is that I don't have a car here. It puts me at a level of vulnerability and dependence I wouldn't have if I could hop in my own vehicle and go wherever I pleased.
Have you noticed that some of the deepest conversations you can have with people happen in the car? My friend Nicole says that it's because it's easier to talk to people when you're sitting beside them and not in front of them. SO true, right?
I think since returning from my trip to Seattle in June, moving back has been on the brain. Even though I am telling people that I want to move back by February, I am really on the fence about it. I realized at the bottom of this longing to move to Seattle the root of it lies in desiring consistency. I just want to be settled somewhere whether it's in Hawaii or Seattle.
I don't know where I am called to in this next season. I might not even know for another 6 months (and for a Type A, that's a LONG TIME) but at the same time I am learning to cultivate my faith and trust and believe that God will lead me where He wants me because the last thing I need to be doing in my life is living in a state where I am not called to be living... can I get an AMEN??
Amen & Goodnight. ;)
On one hand, I miss the comforts of home; my parents and brother, friends, church, my own bed, car, etc. On the other, being flexible in Hawaii has helped me to grow in relationships that I wouldn't otherwise. I think one of the big reasons why is that I don't have a car here. It puts me at a level of vulnerability and dependence I wouldn't have if I could hop in my own vehicle and go wherever I pleased.
Have you noticed that some of the deepest conversations you can have with people happen in the car? My friend Nicole says that it's because it's easier to talk to people when you're sitting beside them and not in front of them. SO true, right?
I think since returning from my trip to Seattle in June, moving back has been on the brain. Even though I am telling people that I want to move back by February, I am really on the fence about it. I realized at the bottom of this longing to move to Seattle the root of it lies in desiring consistency. I just want to be settled somewhere whether it's in Hawaii or Seattle.
I don't know where I am called to in this next season. I might not even know for another 6 months (and for a Type A, that's a LONG TIME) but at the same time I am learning to cultivate my faith and trust and believe that God will lead me where He wants me because the last thing I need to be doing in my life is living in a state where I am not called to be living... can I get an AMEN??
Amen & Goodnight. ;)
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Clifton's Strength Finder's Results.
Developer
You see the potential in others. Very often, in fact, potential is all you see. In your view no individual is fully formed. On the contrary, each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And you are drawn toward people for this very reason. When you interact with others, your goal is to help them experience success. You look for ways to challenge them. You devise interesting experiences that can stretch them and help them grow. And all the while you are on the lookout for the signs of growth—a new behavior learned or modified, a slight improvement in a skill, a glimpse of excellence or of “flow” where previously there were only halting steps. For you these small increments—invisible to some—are clear signs of potential being realized. These signs of growth in others are your fuel. They bring you strength and satisfaction. Over time many will seek you out for help and encouragement because on some level they know that your helpfulness is both genuine and fulfilling to you.
Connectedness
Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring, and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and your culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life’s mysteries.
Responsibility
Your Responsibility theme forces you to take psychological ownership for anything you commit to, and whether large or small, you feel emotionally bound to follow it through to completion. Your good name depends on it. If for some reason you cannot deliver, you automatically start to look for ways to make it up to the other person. Apologies are not enough. Excuses and rationalizations are totally unacceptable. You will not quite be able to live with yourself until you have made restitution. This conscientiousness, this near obsession for doing things right, and your impeccable ethics, combine to create your reputation: utterly dependable. When assigning new responsibilities, people will look to you first because they know it will get done. When people come to you for help—and they soon will—you must be selective. Your willingness to volunteer may sometimes lead you to take on more than you should.
Empathy
You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person’s perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person’s predicament—this would be sympathy, not Empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instinctive ability to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings—to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life. For all these reasons other people are drawn to you.
Belief
If you possess a strong Belief theme, you have certain core values that are enduring. These values vary from one person to another, but ordinarily your Belief theme causes you to be family-oriented, altruistic, even spiritual, and to value responsibility and high ethics—both in yourself and others. These core values affect your behavior in many ways. They give your life meaning and satisfaction; in your view, success is more than money and prestige. They provide you with direction, guiding you through the temptations and distractions of life toward a consistent set of priorities. This consistency is the foundation for all your relationships. Your friends call you dependable. “I know where you stand,” they say. Your Belief makes you easy to trust. It also demands that you find work that meshes with your values. Your work must be meaningful; it must matter to you. And guided by your Belief theme it will matter only if it gives you a chance to live out your values.
You see the potential in others. Very often, in fact, potential is all you see. In your view no individual is fully formed. On the contrary, each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And you are drawn toward people for this very reason. When you interact with others, your goal is to help them experience success. You look for ways to challenge them. You devise interesting experiences that can stretch them and help them grow. And all the while you are on the lookout for the signs of growth—a new behavior learned or modified, a slight improvement in a skill, a glimpse of excellence or of “flow” where previously there were only halting steps. For you these small increments—invisible to some—are clear signs of potential being realized. These signs of growth in others are your fuel. They bring you strength and satisfaction. Over time many will seek you out for help and encouragement because on some level they know that your helpfulness is both genuine and fulfilling to you.
Connectedness
Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring, and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and your culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life’s mysteries.
Responsibility
Your Responsibility theme forces you to take psychological ownership for anything you commit to, and whether large or small, you feel emotionally bound to follow it through to completion. Your good name depends on it. If for some reason you cannot deliver, you automatically start to look for ways to make it up to the other person. Apologies are not enough. Excuses and rationalizations are totally unacceptable. You will not quite be able to live with yourself until you have made restitution. This conscientiousness, this near obsession for doing things right, and your impeccable ethics, combine to create your reputation: utterly dependable. When assigning new responsibilities, people will look to you first because they know it will get done. When people come to you for help—and they soon will—you must be selective. Your willingness to volunteer may sometimes lead you to take on more than you should.
Empathy
You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person’s perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person’s predicament—this would be sympathy, not Empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instinctive ability to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings—to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life. For all these reasons other people are drawn to you.
Belief
If you possess a strong Belief theme, you have certain core values that are enduring. These values vary from one person to another, but ordinarily your Belief theme causes you to be family-oriented, altruistic, even spiritual, and to value responsibility and high ethics—both in yourself and others. These core values affect your behavior in many ways. They give your life meaning and satisfaction; in your view, success is more than money and prestige. They provide you with direction, guiding you through the temptations and distractions of life toward a consistent set of priorities. This consistency is the foundation for all your relationships. Your friends call you dependable. “I know where you stand,” they say. Your Belief makes you easy to trust. It also demands that you find work that meshes with your values. Your work must be meaningful; it must matter to you. And guided by your Belief theme it will matter only if it gives you a chance to live out your values.
Friday, August 6, 2010
I should be sleeping...
Thanks Olive for the tips on topics to blog about. =D
Tonight I went to my small group after not having attended for over a month! Things just got crazy after I came back from Seattle. I was either sick, had other plans, or was out of town. I'm glad I finally made it tonight though because I really enjoy the fellowship with the women in my group and am so thankful for them.
I think it's such a blessing how God orchestrates relationships. We're meant to be in relationships with one another to help each other grow and become who we were created to be. I find that God often uses people to speak to our hearts.
This past week I feel that God has really shown me how blessed I am to have the friendships that I do in my life. I am realizing that not everyone has friends who will go beyond themselves for the sake of another. I think deep down we all want to be known. We long for someone to know and understand our inmost parts, for someone to validate the hurts and the injustice that has happened in our lives and for someone to love us past our faults and failures. Honestly, no human being can do that. Only God can. As much as God and the Holy Spirit are in us - at the end of the day we are human and are selfish. And what if we could love like that.. what would God be to us then?
Although I am so thankful at how blessed I am for my friendships - I know at the end of the day that my relationship with God is the one that will never be shaken -the one relationship I never have to 2nd guess and if I ever did, it would be because of my heart's condition and not because God has left me or didn't love me anymore.
This revelation isn't something that has come over night. It is built from years of choosing to walk with God, praying that He would reveal Himself and praying that what the Bible says who God is moves from head knowledge to heart knowledge. It is such a divine gift when God reveals Himself to us because our finite minds can't conceptualize His majesty.
To be continued!
Tonight I went to my small group after not having attended for over a month! Things just got crazy after I came back from Seattle. I was either sick, had other plans, or was out of town. I'm glad I finally made it tonight though because I really enjoy the fellowship with the women in my group and am so thankful for them.
I think it's such a blessing how God orchestrates relationships. We're meant to be in relationships with one another to help each other grow and become who we were created to be. I find that God often uses people to speak to our hearts.
This past week I feel that God has really shown me how blessed I am to have the friendships that I do in my life. I am realizing that not everyone has friends who will go beyond themselves for the sake of another. I think deep down we all want to be known. We long for someone to know and understand our inmost parts, for someone to validate the hurts and the injustice that has happened in our lives and for someone to love us past our faults and failures. Honestly, no human being can do that. Only God can. As much as God and the Holy Spirit are in us - at the end of the day we are human and are selfish. And what if we could love like that.. what would God be to us then?
Although I am so thankful at how blessed I am for my friendships - I know at the end of the day that my relationship with God is the one that will never be shaken -the one relationship I never have to 2nd guess and if I ever did, it would be because of my heart's condition and not because God has left me or didn't love me anymore.
This revelation isn't something that has come over night. It is built from years of choosing to walk with God, praying that He would reveal Himself and praying that what the Bible says who God is moves from head knowledge to heart knowledge. It is such a divine gift when God reveals Himself to us because our finite minds can't conceptualize His majesty.
To be continued!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Back in the day...
I was such an avid blogger. I started with livejournal then started several xanga accounts and finally moved here..
but I just feel like I have nothing interesting to say so I don't say anything. I think it's funny because I look at other people's lives and think, "wow, they're so cool!" and then people say the same thing about my life. I don't want to be someone that's not satisfied/thankful for what they've been given.
I digress.
but I just feel like I have nothing interesting to say so I don't say anything. I think it's funny because I look at other people's lives and think, "wow, they're so cool!" and then people say the same thing about my life. I don't want to be someone that's not satisfied/thankful for what they've been given.
I digress.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Hawaii Bucket List
With a full-time job I am sometimes afraid that I will miss out on experiencing some awesome things on this native island of mine. So begins my bucket list.
Learn more about my family
Learn hula
Diamond Head hike
Maunawili hike
Makapu'u hike
Koko head hike
Paddleboard
Surf
Pillboxes hike
Learn more about my family
Learn hula
Diamond Head hike
Maunawili hike
Makapu'u hike
Koko head hike
Paddleboard
Surf
Pillboxes hike
Friday, March 19, 2010
More of You....
He speaks and knows my heart even when I don't acknowledge it outwardly.
From today's "My Utmost for His Highest"
Living a life of faith means never knowing where you are being led. But it does mean loving and knowing the One who is leading. It is literally a life of faith, not of understanding and reason—a life of knowing Him who calls us to go. Faith is rooted in the knowledge of a Person, and one of the biggest traps we fall into is the belief that if we have faith, God will surely lead us to success in the world.
The final stage in the life of faith is the attainment of character, and we encounter many changes in the process. We feel the presence of God around us when we pray, yet we are only momentarily changed. We tend to keep going back to our everyday ways and the glory vanishes. A life of faith is not a life of one glorious mountaintop experience after another, like soaring on eagles’ wings, but is a life of day—in and day—out consistency; a life of walking without fainting (see Isaiah 40:31). It is not even a question of the holiness of sanctification, but of something which comes much farther down the road. It is a faith that has been tried and proved and has withstood the test. Abraham is not a type or an example of the holiness of sanctification, but a type of the life of faith—a faith, tested and true, built on the true God. "Abraham believed God. . ." (Romans 4:3).
From today's "My Utmost for His Highest"
Living a life of faith means never knowing where you are being led. But it does mean loving and knowing the One who is leading. It is literally a life of faith, not of understanding and reason—a life of knowing Him who calls us to go. Faith is rooted in the knowledge of a Person, and one of the biggest traps we fall into is the belief that if we have faith, God will surely lead us to success in the world.
The final stage in the life of faith is the attainment of character, and we encounter many changes in the process. We feel the presence of God around us when we pray, yet we are only momentarily changed. We tend to keep going back to our everyday ways and the glory vanishes. A life of faith is not a life of one glorious mountaintop experience after another, like soaring on eagles’ wings, but is a life of day—in and day—out consistency; a life of walking without fainting (see Isaiah 40:31). It is not even a question of the holiness of sanctification, but of something which comes much farther down the road. It is a faith that has been tried and proved and has withstood the test. Abraham is not a type or an example of the holiness of sanctification, but a type of the life of faith—a faith, tested and true, built on the true God. "Abraham believed God. . ." (Romans 4:3).
Coffee Shop Talk
I'm sitting here at Banyan Breeze Coffee Co in Waikiki where Olivia works. Wait... I work here too now!! I've worked three shifts so far, part-time. This place keeps me busy and is consistent in my non-consistent schedule. After not working for two months, it's nice to have something to do even if it's kind of far from where I live. Taking the bus hasn't been so bad, it just takes more time out of my day.
I rented a car the other day for two days. I cannot explain the joy I felt driving off from the car rental place. There was a freedom in getting to go where I wanted and when I wanted.... so niceeee!! I was proud of myself for being able to get around the island for the most part. I got lost a couple times but I either figured out where to go or had friend's guide me. It makes me really really want a car. Too bad I couldn't just drive my car to Hawaii. ;) Gas (& everything else) is expensive here so I think I want to find a fuel efficient vehicle here although having a SUV sounds fun too.
Anyway --
I had two plans in mind when moving here. Either 1.) go to school and get a certificate in Hawaiian Studies or 2.)get a full-time job. I've actually applied for two jobs at Hawaiian Air already. I don't know, it just sounds like an ideal job to have, doesn't it?
Last week I went and spoke with the financial aid person at the community college my cousin attends. I only wanted to do the school thing if I didn't have to pay for it but it turns out that having a degree already is turning against me in terms of the funds I can receive. The only funding I could possibly receive is if I pursued a study in Agriculture. Uhhh.... no thanks. =)
I guess that leaves me with finding a full-time job which isn't so bad but one goal I have while here is not to be consumed with a job that that's all I do.
We'll see what happens! =)
I rented a car the other day for two days. I cannot explain the joy I felt driving off from the car rental place. There was a freedom in getting to go where I wanted and when I wanted.... so niceeee!! I was proud of myself for being able to get around the island for the most part. I got lost a couple times but I either figured out where to go or had friend's guide me. It makes me really really want a car. Too bad I couldn't just drive my car to Hawaii. ;) Gas (& everything else) is expensive here so I think I want to find a fuel efficient vehicle here although having a SUV sounds fun too.
Anyway --
I had two plans in mind when moving here. Either 1.) go to school and get a certificate in Hawaiian Studies or 2.)get a full-time job. I've actually applied for two jobs at Hawaiian Air already. I don't know, it just sounds like an ideal job to have, doesn't it?
Last week I went and spoke with the financial aid person at the community college my cousin attends. I only wanted to do the school thing if I didn't have to pay for it but it turns out that having a degree already is turning against me in terms of the funds I can receive. The only funding I could possibly receive is if I pursued a study in Agriculture. Uhhh.... no thanks. =)
I guess that leaves me with finding a full-time job which isn't so bad but one goal I have while here is not to be consumed with a job that that's all I do.
We'll see what happens! =)
Friday, March 12, 2010
Aloha
Wow. I can't believe it's been a month since I've moved to Hawaii. In some ways time has flown by really fast and in others, it feels like I've been here longer than a month.
I still find it hard to decipher if I am "homesick" or just people sick. I definitely miss my parents and my friends but am finding the balance with family and friends here. I noticed right away that having one of my best friends, Olivia, here makes Hawaii feel more like home because we both bring a familiarity in this new season of our lives.
Let's see if I can break this down somehow.
I've been living with my cousin, Ilima. I'm so thankful that she's opened up her home to me and is letting me live with her and her family. She has two sons, one in the Air Force stationed in Washington and the other a junior in high school. She's a full-time college student getting her certificate in Hawaiian Studies with all three emphasis'; Hawaiian Language, Hawaiian History/Culture, and Hawaiian Sciences. When she's not busy with her morning and night classes, she's volunteering at the elementary school down the street teaching kids about gardening. When she's not busy volunteering she's managing her non-profit organization, God's Country Waimanalo, and raising community awareness about aquaponics and sustainability.
I've been hanging out with my cousin Val and her boyfriend Kaika for most of my time down here. They have been so awesome with showing me around the island, feeding me, and making sure I have what I need (like taking me to Wal-Mart late at night & letting me watch her cable). Valerie is two weeks older than me but her mom, Lehua, is actually my oldest cousin. I'm so thankful that I have a cousin my age that lives near by and who I get along with.
When I'm not hanging out with Val and Kaika, you can find me in Waikiki hanging out with my bestie Olive and her boo, Jason. She's been in Hawaii for about 6 months already and has been showing me the ropes of Hawaii life. The week after I moved here, another good friend, Chasity flew down for her birthday. Since Chas grew up on the windward side she happily showed me different areas of Kailua and Kaneohe from her childhood when she was here. I also was able to meet her foster family that she often told me about. It was so cool to finally see a part of her life that she always talks about.
The tsunami warning was SCARY. I will never forget being woken up at 3:3am and being told to pack my things because there was going to be a tsunami warning and we were heading towards the mountain. It was so early that the only pictures going through my head were of Indonesia and a man hanging on to dear life on a palm tree. I packed what I felt was important and had to come to grips that my other stuff might be in water if the tsunami hit and our house got flooded. It showed me that stuff is just stuff and that my treasures are stored up in heaven. We drove up to the Pali and set up camp at a scenic point where we could see Kailua. I didn't know what to expect and it felt like we were just waiting, waiting, waiting. We brought my grandmother with us and my cousins (Val, Kaika, & Lehua) met us up there as well. All our waiting turned out to be nothing, which is good and a sign that prayer DOES work. So many people prayed and the tsunami never came. I don't think we were over-reacting.
More later.....
I still find it hard to decipher if I am "homesick" or just people sick. I definitely miss my parents and my friends but am finding the balance with family and friends here. I noticed right away that having one of my best friends, Olivia, here makes Hawaii feel more like home because we both bring a familiarity in this new season of our lives.
Let's see if I can break this down somehow.
I've been living with my cousin, Ilima. I'm so thankful that she's opened up her home to me and is letting me live with her and her family. She has two sons, one in the Air Force stationed in Washington and the other a junior in high school. She's a full-time college student getting her certificate in Hawaiian Studies with all three emphasis'; Hawaiian Language, Hawaiian History/Culture, and Hawaiian Sciences. When she's not busy with her morning and night classes, she's volunteering at the elementary school down the street teaching kids about gardening. When she's not busy volunteering she's managing her non-profit organization, God's Country Waimanalo, and raising community awareness about aquaponics and sustainability.
I've been hanging out with my cousin Val and her boyfriend Kaika for most of my time down here. They have been so awesome with showing me around the island, feeding me, and making sure I have what I need (like taking me to Wal-Mart late at night & letting me watch her cable). Valerie is two weeks older than me but her mom, Lehua, is actually my oldest cousin. I'm so thankful that I have a cousin my age that lives near by and who I get along with.
When I'm not hanging out with Val and Kaika, you can find me in Waikiki hanging out with my bestie Olive and her boo, Jason. She's been in Hawaii for about 6 months already and has been showing me the ropes of Hawaii life. The week after I moved here, another good friend, Chasity flew down for her birthday. Since Chas grew up on the windward side she happily showed me different areas of Kailua and Kaneohe from her childhood when she was here. I also was able to meet her foster family that she often told me about. It was so cool to finally see a part of her life that she always talks about.
The tsunami warning was SCARY. I will never forget being woken up at 3:3am and being told to pack my things because there was going to be a tsunami warning and we were heading towards the mountain. It was so early that the only pictures going through my head were of Indonesia and a man hanging on to dear life on a palm tree. I packed what I felt was important and had to come to grips that my other stuff might be in water if the tsunami hit and our house got flooded. It showed me that stuff is just stuff and that my treasures are stored up in heaven. We drove up to the Pali and set up camp at a scenic point where we could see Kailua. I didn't know what to expect and it felt like we were just waiting, waiting, waiting. We brought my grandmother with us and my cousins (Val, Kaika, & Lehua) met us up there as well. All our waiting turned out to be nothing, which is good and a sign that prayer DOES work. So many people prayed and the tsunami never came. I don't think we were over-reacting.
More later.....
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
A Father's Love
About a month ago a long time friend broke the news that she was pregnant. It's kind of funny how that can be a happy thing or a bad thing. Usually it's a happy thing when it's within a marriage and not when it happens out of marriage. I'm not saying that babies aren't blessings because they totally are but there's a reason why I believe it was created and designed to happen within a marriage between two people who love each other.
My friend has been regretting the day where she would have to tell her father. Her mom has been out of the picture for most of her life and her dad is the one that's been there. I didn't fluff up her emotions and told her that although her dad would be disappointed, he was still her dad no matter what. I also offered to support her if she needed someone to be there when she broke the news. I mean, he loves me, what can I say. ;)
A few days ago she asked if I was busy on Friday. She wanted to finally tell her dad. We met up and as we drove to her dad's place she was freaking out. She was scared he was going to disown her, kick her out of his place right then and there, scream and go crazy. I couldn't picture any of that happening because it just isn't his character.
We kind of caught up on life and just chatted about different things, her brother's new girlfriend, her dad's new church he was attending, her dad's dreams of moving to the Pacific islands, etc. My friend texted me that she couldn't do it and that I would need to lead her into telling him the news. About two hours later we finally did and I was surprised at how everything turned out.
He kind of knew already.. and guessed before she even told him. He said that between her mood swings and sensitivity the past couple of weeks - he kind of already had that thought in the back of his mind.
The reason I wanted to share this story was because I was in such awe of a father's love for his daughter and how God orchestrated all of this in His timing. Because he had that thought, his heart was almost prepared to take the news. It's not easy hearing that your daughter is pregnant with a guy she's not married to or dating for that matter.
He just sort of took everything in and said that he's learned too many times that it's better to soak it in and reflect rather than speak all the emotions you're feeling in that moment. He was going to be meeting up with one of his good friends the next morning which is another reason why I believe it was God's timing. They usually meet every month but hadn't seen each other since September. With the big news, he was going to need a confidant, encourager, and counsel from his close friend.
Having a lot of young families in my church I've seen friends use godly parenting on their young children but it was different seeing it from someone who could actually be my parent. There was one point in our conversation that my friend was concerned about who her dad was going to tell (just his close confidants) and how they would view her. Her dad reminded her of how she's always struggled with feeling the need to make people happy but that the only happiness she needed to be concerned about was her own.
And as she was telling her dad about her plans and how she wanted to raise her child she shared her concern about not wanting to ever make her child feel like they weren't wanted because they weren't planned. She said she felt that way because her mom had told her, "we didn't even want you, you weren't planned" Her dad corrected her and told her that he remembered the day that his wife had told him that she was pregnant with my friend. It was a Wednesday and it was right before he had to leave to lead the youth group. He was SO excited and shared the news with a friend when he got there. His friend lifted him on his shoulders and said, "Hey everyone, look who's going to be a dad!!"
LOVE.
Unconditional love.
As we left that night, my friend's dad reminded her that nothing could ever change or take away his love for her.
I know how easy it is to feel like this in our Christian walks. We know better, we mess up and we're too scared to come to God. We feel like he'll withhold his love or maybe he'll take back the salvation he gave us. Maybe we feel like we need to take control and somehow fix ourselves up before we could even go back to him or that we have to have it all together. But of we simply come, repent, and seek His heart, we'll find Him, an unconditional loving father.
My friend has been regretting the day where she would have to tell her father. Her mom has been out of the picture for most of her life and her dad is the one that's been there. I didn't fluff up her emotions and told her that although her dad would be disappointed, he was still her dad no matter what. I also offered to support her if she needed someone to be there when she broke the news. I mean, he loves me, what can I say. ;)
A few days ago she asked if I was busy on Friday. She wanted to finally tell her dad. We met up and as we drove to her dad's place she was freaking out. She was scared he was going to disown her, kick her out of his place right then and there, scream and go crazy. I couldn't picture any of that happening because it just isn't his character.
We kind of caught up on life and just chatted about different things, her brother's new girlfriend, her dad's new church he was attending, her dad's dreams of moving to the Pacific islands, etc. My friend texted me that she couldn't do it and that I would need to lead her into telling him the news. About two hours later we finally did and I was surprised at how everything turned out.
He kind of knew already.. and guessed before she even told him. He said that between her mood swings and sensitivity the past couple of weeks - he kind of already had that thought in the back of his mind.
The reason I wanted to share this story was because I was in such awe of a father's love for his daughter and how God orchestrated all of this in His timing. Because he had that thought, his heart was almost prepared to take the news. It's not easy hearing that your daughter is pregnant with a guy she's not married to or dating for that matter.
He just sort of took everything in and said that he's learned too many times that it's better to soak it in and reflect rather than speak all the emotions you're feeling in that moment. He was going to be meeting up with one of his good friends the next morning which is another reason why I believe it was God's timing. They usually meet every month but hadn't seen each other since September. With the big news, he was going to need a confidant, encourager, and counsel from his close friend.
Having a lot of young families in my church I've seen friends use godly parenting on their young children but it was different seeing it from someone who could actually be my parent. There was one point in our conversation that my friend was concerned about who her dad was going to tell (just his close confidants) and how they would view her. Her dad reminded her of how she's always struggled with feeling the need to make people happy but that the only happiness she needed to be concerned about was her own.
And as she was telling her dad about her plans and how she wanted to raise her child she shared her concern about not wanting to ever make her child feel like they weren't wanted because they weren't planned. She said she felt that way because her mom had told her, "we didn't even want you, you weren't planned" Her dad corrected her and told her that he remembered the day that his wife had told him that she was pregnant with my friend. It was a Wednesday and it was right before he had to leave to lead the youth group. He was SO excited and shared the news with a friend when he got there. His friend lifted him on his shoulders and said, "Hey everyone, look who's going to be a dad!!"
LOVE.
Unconditional love.
As we left that night, my friend's dad reminded her that nothing could ever change or take away his love for her.
I know how easy it is to feel like this in our Christian walks. We know better, we mess up and we're too scared to come to God. We feel like he'll withhold his love or maybe he'll take back the salvation he gave us. Maybe we feel like we need to take control and somehow fix ourselves up before we could even go back to him or that we have to have it all together. But of we simply come, repent, and seek His heart, we'll find Him, an unconditional loving father.
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