Glad He Can

My babysitter canceled on Friday, so I decided to take all three children to the store after naps. It started out bad with T-Monster having a discussion over not wanting to sit in the big kart for toddlers. I let him know that he had to ride in this big kart or walk, because if I got the smaller kart there would not be a sit for him only the little ones and I needed the basket for the items we were buying. He said he would walk, I reluctantly said OK, this has never worked well in the past, as I have no where to put him when he begins not listening.

To my surprise we were half way done and no melt downs and no issues. T was doing a good job staying with me (at least in the same row as me without reminders). The store was a bit crowded and T kept getting in front of the kart and I would have to tell him to move, well then he would move into the other side and get in the way of others going the other way. I would tell him to say "excuse me" and get out of the way. So we had a lot of zig zag behavior going on and it was a little funny, he was being quite entertaining for all around.

We go to the grapes/blueberries and I asked him which he wanted. He walked over to the big display and right in front of this older man trying to make a selection as well. T was doing the making up my mind dance and jumping around in front of the display. The man finished and T was right in his way for leaving and so I asked T to move out of the way so the man could go. The man turned and looked at me. I smiled and said "excuse us we have a lot of energy today". He smiled and said "just be glad he can momma, just be glad he can". That just made my day.

I am so glad "HE CAN". I am so glad that he can be an energetic, happy healthy little boy, with out a care in the world. How one persons positive words can give us so much joy and new way of looking at the world. I could have been stressed, my wild child in every ones way, jumping around and karate chopping shadow fighting through the store. The man could have been grumpy and told me to control my child, but he didn't me made me realize that my child "CAN DO" a lot of things that some children will only dream of doing on a daily basis. How many children are sick and in the hospital, like little Abby Riggs who is fighting cancer. I often think about T-Monsters' best friend who was killed just before her second birthday or about Tuesday who lost her battle with cancer. How many children are starving around the world and do not have the energy to jump, run, and act wild. These children do not have to opportunity to drive their mother's crazy in the store and I know their mother's would cherish the opportunity.

I thank God everyday for healthy happy children here with me on earth. I am so blessed to have a great T-Monster who is all mine though and though, I am so proud to be his mom, energy included.

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

It was NOT ME who was completely grossed out by my two year old bringing me some dog poo in his hand while I was eating breakfast.

It was NOT ME that knocked over the baby in her haste to get the dog outside before he dropped more poo in the house.

It is NOT ME that thinks the baby is so cute when he says "uh oh".

It was NOT ME that thinks it is so funny when my four year old tells me "it did happen mommy, in real life, it happened".

It was NOT ME that had a two baby showers, three birthdays and a wedding shower so far this month and the month still has another weekend with another birthday on Saturday.

It is NOT ME that is going to be broke from all of the birthdays and showers this month, good thing I am a bargin shopper.

Wordless Wenesday!

Not me Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

It was NOT ME who laughed her head off when her dear friend told me about her 2 year old who emptied a 250 box of pantyliners into the toilet to make "soup" all stirred up with a tampon, yum!!

LOVE THAT KID!!!!

(Said child is in the picture at right with T-Monster).

It was NOT ME that got a new mini van, I swore I would never be one of THOSE mom's, and I am so NOT loving it.

I so did NOT laugh when I went to pick up my four year old in the new van and thought he would be so excited to have built in DVD player, only to have him be upset because it "it's not blue".

It was NOT ME that was so excited to have the baby sleep over at a friends so that I could get a solids night sleep, only to have my husband wake me up no less than three times, GRR!.

It is NOT ME that is so happy everyone in the house is feeling much better, I was so NOT sick of everyone being sick.

It was NOT ME that was so thrilled to be able to have lunch and go shopping with my friend and it was so NOT ME that forgot to buy a baby gift for a girl at church and red plates and heart stickers for school while I was shopping, the main reasons for going in the first place.

The Lucky Ones

When you are an adoptive parent you get a lot of comments about how lucky your children are, to be adopted by you, how fortunate they were, how you are above and beyond in love and compassion. I understand these comments, I probably said them before considering adoption myself. I knew as a young girl that I would some day adopt. I grew up with three adopted cousins (two different families) and had a close friend that was adopted as well. I knew that I wanted to give a family to a child who otherwise might not have as many opportunities and family happiness as I did growing up. I did not see myself as any different than my cousins or my friend, and they were never treated any differently than any one else in the families. I knew that loving a child that was not biologically mine would never be a problem.

Computer Geek and I even talked about how we wanted to adopt one day before we were even married, during a local hockey game we attend with our church's singles group. I was thrilled that I had found a man as willing as I was to add to our family through adoption.

Fast forward five years and we found ourselves unable to conceive naturally. We looked into several adoption avenues right away, we figured we would adopt first while we figured out what our issues with infertility were. Foster to adopt seems a good fit for us. Being an Early Childhood Educator for the local Head Start program, I was forever seeing children in DSS custody, or having to report families to them and I could see that all these children really needed was stable loving homes where they were not afraid or hungry. I figured we would get a preschooler that we could love on and provide security to and hopefully get to adopt down the road. I assumed that we would get pregnant later when the issues were straighted out.

Imagine my surprise when they called and asked us to take a newborn, just 10 days old. I could not say yes fast enough, I did not even care what the story was, a chance to have a newborn. At six months old I took T-Monster to the doctor he had a very bad cold, after the appointment we when to meet Computer Geek at another doctor's appointment and we learned that biological children would never be possible for us. Now I know some people will say adopt and you will get pregnant, but for us it will never happen, their is a diagnosis as to why and it's not something that is fixed (it's in the genes). Sitting there with T-Monster on my lap, the news was not that hard to bear, here was the start of out family on my lap, God intend us to grow our family through adoption, the message was clear.

Now I would not wish infertility on anyone, and I am in amazement at those who can go years with all of the infertility treatments for that chance to be pregnant and have a biological child. I know of families that are biological children or nothing and others that spend so much on treatments there is nothing left for adoption. For us the choice to adopt over continuing down a path of uncertain outcome was clear. The road to adoption was an emotional roller coster for another time.

Are my children lucky? Aren't all children who are loved and well taken care of. Are my children fortunate? God knew them before they were conceived and knew that they were my children.

Am I all loving and compassionate? Well probably not all the time, what I was is a women who wanted a child to love, to hold, to call me mommy. People adopt for many reasons, infertility, desire to save an orphan, willingness to serve those who are less fortunate and many others. However the bottom line is that you have to be willing to love someone who is not biologically related to you. Although if you think about it you already do, your husband/wife is not biologically related to you and yet you probably love (hope so anyway) them more than any one else in the world. By the way children are much easier to love than an adult.

A guy on one of those adoption shows said it best "all your reasons for not adopting, go away as soon as you see your child". The lucky ones are those that step out in faith and let God lead them to the perfect family for them. I have no doubts about whether my children are mine or not. Sometimes I look at them and can not believe that they are not flesh of my flesh or bone of my bone. I can not imagine loving them any more if I had endured 10 months of pregnancy (adoption can take much longer) or gained 80 pounds (that I then would had to try to get off) or been an emotional roller coaster of hormone mess (fostering has got to be worse). I think I love them more because our journey to them was a choice, a step out in faith, a journey that was not easy but worth it all to have a child to call mine.