6+ years a nurse, and...

Would I do it all over again? Nursing school, I mean? Hmmm....that's hard to answer. I'm on my 5th job in a third state and have learned so much about the big, bad world of hospitals. I think I'm going to start blogging again, but I have to think hard about how to do this thing. I've taken the last year off of L&D and it has been very good for me. Had to evaluate who I am in the midst of a crazy and often dysfunctional system doing a thing I really do love--helping women during arguably the most important time of their life: becoming mother. Going back to L&D and am scared out of mind and happy and excited and... Wow, it is off-the-charts difficult. I find myself at war with myself, my beliefs, my schedule, docs, patients, administration...the list goes on. The constant evaluation, the constant learning, the constant stress--I mean, is it worth around 35 bucks an hour? Is it worth my sanity? My conscience? My health? And really, is all of that threatened or am I a big baby? Going to explore that some here--on top of my being in school yet again, being 40ish, being fat... Time to talk some more, and then see what happens.

Mumblings

The above had me laughing!! I feel like I do all the mumbling-of-my-alma-mater's-name because I have an ADN. Whatever!

Work is ho-hum. Lots to talk about--but not sure how to say any of it. I am seeing stuff I don't like and am not sure what to do about it. I have been in a million c-sections as of late and am beginning to wonder if my hospital is just super-conservative or if this is the reality of what having babies in a community hospital look like? Ugh.

Almost off orientation and will have more to say then...

yelling docs

Witnessed my first screaming match between a doctor and nurse on one of my last shifts. The doc called a non-emergent c-section while another woman was beginning to push. Doc wanted the woman to stop pushing until the section was done. Nurse said No--and things escalated from there. 15 mins of fighting that we could all here--some done in front of the patient.

I have never gotten into a yelling match w/ a doc. What in the world? Is this the private world of L&D? I'm starting to think so...from what I've heard, its just a matter of time until I "get into it" with a doc on our floor. Um. Not sure if I am up for that.

Otherwise, things are ho-hum at my job. I miss high risk. I miss my residents. I miss my "team" of nurses. We recover supposed high risk patients and move them to ICU. Other than that, it is c-section land. 1/4th of the deliveries I have done have been vaginal. Crazy!

But, my patients have been great. A little needy--as in you-are-my-waitress-now-get-me-xyz--but great nonetheless.

LOVES IT!

So I've come to the conclusion that my new job is truly good in many ways--from the docs who clean up the patients after delivery (a chore I used to rush around and do) to the 5 minute epidurals (compared to the SRNA's who used to poke around for 45 minutes trying to find the space)--I am a happy camper. I'm working days right now and am soon to go back to NOC. Kind of a bummer as I feel very normal right now, but not much I can do about it. I was hired for nights, there are no day spots, and I am thankful to just have a job.

The best thing of all is that I am really, really enjoying my patients. They are educated, care for themselves and want to have good birthing experience.

BUT--I do miss my other job. My team, my crazy nights, the adrenaline--all things I had a certain affection for. Plus, it was all so familiar. I was getting kinda comfy there.

I'm in a beautiful place, the nurses around me have loads of experience w/ normal births, the docs are, well, um, seasoned and I am calm and cool as a cucumber at work. It's all really, really surreal.

I still am struggling w/ disliking many things about nursing, but I LOVE my patients. And I love l&d.

Still blogging at scrubs magazine...

The other day at work, during a particularly bad hemorrhage in the OR, I went to open a package of laps and then “throw” them on the table, when I overshot my mark completely and instead hit one of the docs in the head.

Why would I do something like this? I’m going to blame it on adrenaline–or as we medical folks like to call it–the lovely hormone epinephrine.

Initially, I didn’t realize that by going into nursing school, I would have to deal with so much anxiety, let alone the amounts of hormones that would course through my veins setting me into fight or flight. The nerves struck all through school–during...

Read more here!

Super-duper nuts!

No, I haven't run away from N is for nurse! ;)

My life has been so crazy as of late--as you all can tell, I don't have much time for writing and I'm not sure what that means for this blog.

I've moved, started a new job, am homeschooling my kids and my husband is in an intense Master's program which means we aren't seeing each other much. Add to that the craziness of getting acclimated to a new city, having all kinds of new people around, church life...and I am left with little leftover time. We've turned off TV (haven't watched in over a month) and have eliminated other distractions and are just working hard--the blog thing is just way down on my list of priorities. Yet I know once I get into a good routine, I'll continue to write. It's just a season in my life, I suppose.

The new job is so weird. My patients on the whole are completely different in terms of socioeconomics and the psychosocial, the doctors are very, um, unfriendly thus far and my fellow nurses seem great. The hospital is beautiful, and yes, the responsibilities are not as intense. Examples range from the nurses NOT watching their strips with an eagle eye as I do, the docs calling sections WAY before we would have ever called them at the other hospital, the acuity is far less, we don't do as many bedside interventions (read IUPC's, fetal scalps, amnioinfusions, etc), the pt load is about the same, and I am not seeing mag, insulin, and all the med/surg/psyche stuff I am used to.

The women are still in bed and on monitors, the docs clean them up after deliveries (WHA???), c-section recoveries are oddish (we dont stay at the bedside?), and tehre is no "triage" per se.

The other day, I jumped in on another nurses delivery and got a mom skin to skin and breastfeeding right away and the whole floor now thinks I'm some sort of hippie...

I'll be the anal one on the floor it seems--I feel like I've come out of the military. I must say, at the teaching hospital, we were giving FANTASTIC care despite the circumstances. I am so proud of myself for making it through the last couple of years there...

Not much else to say--lots to do. Hope you all are well out there--drop me an email or comment sometime! -P.

My latest article/blog/thing...

over at scrubs magazine is here:

getting rid of the orientation willies

Otherwise, just a few more days and I am BACK on orientation--more stories to come then...

A few more days...

Still enjoying my break from bloggy stuff and so ready to get back to work after such a long hiatus. Just wanted to check in and say hello. All is well--just living as a civilian-hah. Also, I am starting to blog for Scrubs Magazine as a new nurse contributor. Should be interesting...

Here's the link to my page over there...have fun. It is a pretty cool little mag on the net!

Moving and such

Pic by Cupcake

Hello reader friends-

So, we've moved all our stuff across the country and are now (kinda, sorta) settled in our tiny apartment. Things are well on that front--strange, but good. We are free-falling now and don't really know what comes next, although we have some of the logistics laid out. I start work soon, and my husband starts school. Then there's homeschooling. But we don't really know what all that looks like.

I miss nursing but have had a lovely month off and am so enjoying the absence of NOC. My nursing friends keep me updated and inundated with (mostly horror) stories, and I just shake my head and wonder how I made it through the last couple of years. Like anything else difficult, I can see that God pulled me through and was constant in it all, even when I wondered IF He was present at all.

Life is full of brown boxes, cleaning supplies, and multiple trips to IKEA for storage ideas. I'm also having loads of fun cooking different things now that I have some "creative" places to shop for food. I am a little stressed by all the new faces I'm encountering because I wonder how I will fit into this picture, but there isn't much I can do about it besides be my crazy ol' self. The same goes for my new job--what will it be like? Will I be ok? I don't know. Crap. I HATE not knowing. Bla.

In other news, I'm starting to write for another online publication. More on that later w/ links and stuff. Must say I love the income aspect and the chance to branch out a bit. Not the best writer, here, but I have fun jotting down stupid stuff.

I've put school on hold this semester and am wondering when I'll have the time for studying? Then there's the whole midwifery and women health track question??? Yup, putting that all in the back of my mind and trying to simplify.

Loads of mundane things. In the end, I'm good. Drop me a comment and tell me what's new with you! -P.

Amazing pic borrowed from here!

Really important?

Watchin' QVC and the lovely host tells me that having "diamond time markers on your Hello Kitty watch is very, very important. In fact, watches are just very important today. You need a watch."

Ya know what I think is really, really important? For a doc, who is practicing an episiotomy just to practice one, to refrain from cutting the ear off of a newborn, then not notice this "mistake" and consequently kinda, sorta lose the ear.

Just sayin'.

PS Finally the move is behind me! Will be back in full force soon...