Create in me a new heart
self-check
At times, it's good to step out of ourselves & look at our situation with a third person's perspective.
Yet many times, I failed to.
Yes; reflections, reflections... (I am not upset, nt anymore so don't worry friends! (: mere reflections.)
===================
My grandpa passed on yesterday. Attended the funeral which was just below my block, met a lot of relatives who feels really distant to me even though (I think) I was quite close to them when I was much younger. Talking to them felt unfamiliarly familiar. Or familiarly unfamiliar. Paradox... Whichever the way.
I wasn't exactly close to my grandpa, although he lived next door with my uncle. In fact, I had grown to be distant from almost everyone in my family- perhaps it was our busy lives, less frequent gatherings,rumors souring relations, or was it just me.
My aunt told me that I had changed- saying that I had became so quiet. HAHAHA REALLY. I thought I had opened up?! Probably because I was wearing my black-rimmed specs so I gave her the guai guai impression.
*Abruptly ends here.
===================
What was my point again...
I've made many mistakes, when I cooled down to look back at what I've done, in the third person perspective.
Imagine I were my parents.
Imagine if I were an outsider looking at the situation.
How would they feel?
How would not whole situation be?
Yet all I could think of at that time... Was me, myself & I- my moods, me, me, me. I should have spared a thought for them...
On the other hand, I wished that there was mutual understanding. I feel that criticism should be reserved for until full understanding of one's thoughts and hence behavior.
& also, this thing called disproportionate reaction. Would I have reacted this way if I were, say, with another group of people? Or would I have done the same if I were to look back on hindsight?
Well. Life is a process- we make mistakes, we change, we learn. (:
People do change... (After all,the cliche goes: Change is the only constant.)
Physically, emotionally & in the heart.
I'm learning how to be a better person. (:
=====================================================
Few short stories I saw on a forum.
Found them meningful. Enjoy! (: (:
TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When
trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of
trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger
causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone
call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was
silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When
she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice,
"Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's
pocket but I do not know whose number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the
couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello"
instead of "PUB".
-------------------------------------------------------------
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a
successful marriage. Could you please share with me your
secret?"The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your
wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong.
Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and
weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people
are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a
mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the
finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always
remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other
four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
-------------------------------------------------------------
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU,
and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to
find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements,
please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty,
knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to
accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I
don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need
companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest."
The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you
need television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found
between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife
cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband
cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and
deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect
relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears
off, they wake up a nd discover that marriage is not a bed of
roses. The nightmare begins.
---------------------------------------------------------------
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower
another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that
love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad
habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is
a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier
to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on
changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and
unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
-------------------------------------------------------------
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A
speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many
relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple
is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect
and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it
would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction
site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi,
Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school."
On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily
you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a
construction worker." She answered,"You should appreciate that
you married me. Other wise, he will be the millionaire and not
you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad
relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.
--------------------------------------------------------------
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat
could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from
the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why
neither of them ride on the donkey? "Upon hearing that, the
husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides
them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is
the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while
the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got
down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented,
"How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He
is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel
to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed
down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a nar row
bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost
their balance and fell into the river. You can never have
everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in
the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience
is clear..
--------------------------------------------------------------
BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came
out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his
three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny
paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away,
hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When
the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed
bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the
boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his
bandaged stubs, he innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about
your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to
grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet
or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your
patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken
bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to
recognize the difference between the person and the
performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than
revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the
actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
=============================
At times, it's good to step out of ourselves & look at our situation with a third person's perspective.
Yet many times, I failed to.
Yes; reflections, reflections... (I am not upset, nt anymore so don't worry friends! (: mere reflections.)
===================
My grandpa passed on yesterday. Attended the funeral which was just below my block, met a lot of relatives who feels really distant to me even though (I think) I was quite close to them when I was much younger. Talking to them felt unfamiliarly familiar. Or familiarly unfamiliar. Paradox... Whichever the way.
I wasn't exactly close to my grandpa, although he lived next door with my uncle. In fact, I had grown to be distant from almost everyone in my family- perhaps it was our busy lives, less frequent gatherings,
My aunt told me that I had changed- saying that I had became so quiet. HAHAHA REALLY. I thought I had opened up?! Probably because I was wearing my black-rimmed specs so I gave her the guai guai impression.
*Abruptly ends here.
===================
What was my point again...
I've made many mistakes, when I cooled down to look back at what I've done, in the third person perspective.
Imagine I were my parents.
Imagine if I were an outsider looking at the situation.
How would they feel?
How would not whole situation be?
Yet all I could think of at that time... Was me, myself & I- my moods, me, me, me. I should have spared a thought for them...
On the other hand, I wished that there was mutual understanding. I feel that criticism should be reserved for until full understanding of one's thoughts and hence behavior.
& also, this thing called disproportionate reaction. Would I have reacted this way if I were, say, with another group of people? Or would I have done the same if I were to look back on hindsight?
Well. Life is a process- we make mistakes, we change, we learn. (:
People do change... (After all,the cliche goes: Change is the only constant.)
Physically, emotionally & in the heart.
I'm learning how to be a better person. (:
=====================================================
Few short stories I saw on a forum.
Found them meningful. Enjoy! (: (:
TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When
trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of
trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger
causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone
call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was
silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When
she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice,
"Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's
pocket but I do not know whose number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the
couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello"
instead of "PUB".
-------------------------------------------------------------
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a
successful marriage. Could you please share with me your
secret?"The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your
wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong.
Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and
weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people
are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a
mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the
finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always
remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other
four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
-------------------------------------------------------------
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU,
and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to
find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements,
please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty,
knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to
accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I
don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need
companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest."
The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you
need television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found
between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife
cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband
cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and
deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect
relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears
off, they wake up a nd discover that marriage is not a bed of
roses. The nightmare begins.
---------------------------------------------------------------
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower
another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that
love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad
habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is
a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier
to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on
changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and
unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
-------------------------------------------------------------
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A
speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many
relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple
is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect
and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it
would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction
site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi,
Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school."
On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily
you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a
construction worker." She answered,"You should appreciate that
you married me. Other wise, he will be the millionaire and not
you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad
relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.
--------------------------------------------------------------
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat
could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from
the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why
neither of them ride on the donkey? "Upon hearing that, the
husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides
them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is
the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while
the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got
down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented,
"How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He
is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel
to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed
down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a nar row
bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost
their balance and fell into the river. You can never have
everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in
the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience
is clear..
--------------------------------------------------------------
BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came
out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his
three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny
paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away,
hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When
the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed
bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the
boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his
bandaged stubs, he innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about
your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to
grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet
or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your
patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken
bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to
recognize the difference between the person and the
performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than
revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the
actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
=============================
