Daily Sketches…..

Quite the undertaking for an artist – every day - coming up with an original idea that can be expressed in a sketch. I look forward to her daily sketches but today was the exclamation of "D00d!!! That is so me!!"
2011 Daily Sketch 87 by *ngoff on deviantART

Overload...

You figure that since I have been living with my own self for over 3 decades, I would not need an owner’s manual….but that is not this case…if it was, we would not have today’s blog entry!

I have not been writing lately – been overloaded and overwhelmed – I thought I had it under control. But when a conversation about tires leaves me sobbing on the floor of the garage, then I have obviously misjudged the situation…

Now that I look back on it, there were subtle hints….which led up to the big hints – I have been leaving work feeling numb. I have a list of people that I want to call/owe phone calls to but all I do on the drive home is listen to certain songs on repeat and zone out. All I wanted was to sit and watch TV….just for a little bit…like an episode of CSI or Glee or HIMYM….but there was never any time to do it...something else always needed to get done and took priority. Then it manifested as just wanting to sleep – conking out even though I was excited about spending time with people or being part of a project.

I have not been saying “no” when I should have and just motoring forward – I spent this past Friday running everyone’s errands but my own. (giving my usual 120% to everyone but myself.) And as we all know, since I give that much, I also crash 120%. Really not kidding – it took one comment about tire valves and I was done.

It does boil down to trading my quality of life because I am doing the right thing for someone who never planned on and never prepared for being old. My mom and I also need support and we lean on each other but how can you give proper support when you need a bunch of it yourself? And when those that you lean on are just as sick about hearing about the situation as you are?

The whole thing should even out shortly – well, as much as it can with the grandma situation - the co-worker that I have been covering for will be back in about two weeks and I can go back to being 75% out of balance instead of 95%.