The Panda Diaries

I think it’s that time.

Time for me to stop my “secret” blog and blog solely on my other blog. The blog that I started back in ’05? ’06? The blog I got away from during my pregnancy when I felt like I couldn’t share how I was truly feeling with those I KNEW. Even though I don’t have the largest blog following of all time I sincerely appreciate those who been with me for a while and have stayed with me despite my less than stellar grammar and story telling skills. (especially you, Missus Gamgee)

I welcome you to follow me on my other blog. I probably won’t be too much different than this blog, really, maybe less bitching and more art 🙂 I look forward to continue following your stories!

http://www.laurieappleby.com/

Did everyone have a wonderful President’s Day? For AH and I it was an unexpected Date Day which means we spent our time alone together running errands, which is usually how things work out. We had originally planned on seeing a movie but then we opted to stay at home after getting some lunch (Smashi.ng Tomato. YUM!) and running to Lowe’s. AH played WoW (something he’s picked up again since starting his new job. All of his co-workers play so now he does. Not exactly thrilled about this…) and I worked on some art and, AND, I actually think I may be onto something!

I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept thinking about my latest artistic endeavor and eventually I woke up to work on it a little more. Then when I went back to bed around 3 I couldn’t sleep because of this awful cramp in my right leg. So I browsed eBay on my phone for bit (cheap clothes for Ruby) and then finally fell asleep around 4:30 this morning. My sleep schedule is totally whacked since breaking my ankle. I can’t remember the last time I went to bed before 1am. I do rather enjoy getting to sleep in though.

Not much on the schedule today other than watching some Downton Abbey. SO exited!! And then I’ll work on some more art…make dinner…read blogs….call my gym to see if they can put my membership on hold….

Good times.

Last night our V-day plans were a success. Yes, I made reservations for us at our local Whit.e Castle. AH LOVES WC and when he heard that they were doing the reservation he was really exited about it. I’m not a big fan of the ‘ol WC but I took the liberty of making us reservations. Ya know, so I could be nominated as Wife of the Year, haha. I was going to surprise him by just driving us there and being like, hey surprise!, except now I can’t drive so I have to let him in on the little secret. He was happy about it and bragged to his friends at work who all thought it was “cool”. So with the exception of my slipping on my crutches and falling to the ground as I toddled to the car, hurting my hand and my hip, it was a relaxed evening. Ruby enjoyed playing with the cloth napkins at the table (and no, she did not get any sliders) and although there is much better cheesecake in the world, the chocolate-dipped cheesecake wasn’t all that bad.

Right now I am getting used to my exiting new foot boot. My visit to the orthopedist this morning went well. My bone is healing about as perfectly as it could. I had the choice of a cast or the boot and while the opportunity to decorate a cast was tempting I decided that the option to remove the boot was way more appealing. I got another month off of work as well. I am okay with this right now as I have discovered Downton Abbey and will more than likely spend the rest of this afternoon catching up with season 2 of PBS. Anyone else want to kick Thomas’ ass? Or think that Mrs. Hughes should have said YES? And I am definitely Team Bates and Anna (and in looking up her info on IMDB something was spoiled for me. Dang it!!) I love. love the fashion and of course the accents. I’m a sucker for an English accent.

Do you ever just think about “what if?” I know there’s no point to thinking about it because you can’t change the past but I think about it every once in a while. Mostly in regards to ‘What if’ I had asked AH to move to MN instead of packing up and heading to KY.

The Ta.rget store that I worked at in Minnea.polis was a teeny tiny store. It was such a small store that I heard rumors that it never made a profit for the company and that it was just being kept open for political reasons. There were days when we’d pull in only about $19K (compared to my current store which pulls in about $80K). Theft was high, we had easily 2-4 apprehensions a day and we always had a cop on duty.  It was small (only 9 checkout lanes) and the guests were occasionally  violent (I had a woman threaten to kick my ass for some reason) but I loved working there. It was challenging and I really enjoyed the people that I worked with.

Two weeks after I transferred the company announced that they were closing the store. Employees were invited to take a severance package or they could choose the store that they wanted to transfer to. Already in KY, when I heard this I was super bummed. The downtown Minneapolis (2 levels!) store was opening up and I really wanted to work there. I had actually interviewed to work there but SO many people wanted to work there that it was HARD to get picked. I mean, I had the top scores as far as yearly reviews go, made top sales performer in the district despite my teeny tiny store status-and I still didn’t get picked. It was 10 blocks from my apartment, right by headquarters. I could have walked to work, biked, and in the winter taken the bus. It would have been awesome.

So my thought is that if AH had  moved to MN not only would he probably have found an awesome job (and not had to deal with the BS jobs he’s gone through in KY), I could have worked at the HQ store and been super thin and healthy from all that walking and biking. (ignoring the fact that I was already 50 pounds lighter when I lived there to begin with). We probably still would have bought a house, or a cool loft or something in downtown. We’d be right by the Walk.er A.rt Ce.nter and their awesome sculpture garden, Lor.ing Park, U.ptown-all the cool neighborhoods and cultural centers. *Sigh* It would have been awesome.

And what about my family? What if I hadn’t left? If I hadn’t moved maybe my sister (who was pissed at me for moving) wouldn’t have gotten mixed up with her loser husband, knocked up with two kids (while unemployed, uninsured, uneducated, and no driver’s license). Maybe the state wouldn’t have taken her kids (from their very Hoarder-esque apartment) and my sister and her LH wouldn’t have had to stay with my parents which caused tremendous marital discord. Maybe my dad wouldn’t have fallen in such a deep depression from the situation and he wouldn’t have started abusing his anxiety meds and he wouldn’t have tried to kill himself by cutting off his hand with a frickin’ miter saw. Maybe my family wouldn’t be so full of drama that AH might actually like them and would want to live in MN.

Maybe, maybe, maybe. I know there is no point to it because if we had decided to live in Minnesota Ruby probably wouldn’t be here-and if anything awesome has come from living in KY, it’s that. When I told AH that I would move here to be with him I asked that there be a possibility that we could move back to MN someday. Deep in my heart I know that it’s not going to happen and it makes me really, really sad. Who knows how close to my fantasy life would actually be if we did move back up there I just feel like I would at least want to give it a shot someday…..

Meh. What can you do? It’s not all bad living here, really, I just miss my family and how awesome MN is. I have these phases and I get over it and move on. Sorry for the kind of downer of a post. Just had to get that off of my mind. Any exiting V-day plans? Mine are pretty epic and will surely trump yours in the romance department. Hah. Hahahaha. Just kidding. More than likely there will be little romance but it should prove to be interesting so I am looking forward to tonight. Happy V-day!