Sunday, April 22, 2012

Marianne's PONYTAIL!

Dear World,
(I'm sorry, I can't help myself addressing these posts like letters...indulge me. Just a little bit longer.)
Marianne's hair can officially make a ponytail. Oh happy day! This means I don't have to pretend that I like headbands for her anymore (because for some reason I don't). This also means that while I'm on the stand leading the music and Rus is holding her, somehow her ponytail will wind up in his mouth and then take on the appearance of half of a curly stiff mustache. It's still cute, though!
See! This is how the "Ponytail Photo Shoot" went. (Pre-Rus spit.) And yes, I knew the blanket had a yellow stain when I used it. I even knew Marianne was in front of it. I think I just hoped it wouldn't show up. Lesson learned.
Mommy! I want that camera!
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I really want that camera strap!

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 Tee-he-he, Daddy just zerbered me!
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 Then of course Bekah jumped in. She's always a happy extra in any photo shoot.
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 Why not bring in the whole family. Beau - "lean in" does not mean "plaster yourself to Bekah."
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 Need a close up? It's got a nice curl, huh. Thank you Rus.
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Thursday, April 19, 2012

Love Letters/Hate Mail

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Dear Man at the Post Office,
Please know that when you walk by with a towering chocolate ice cream cone, my son will cry and beg for a similar confection for the next half hour. I might not like you for your unconscious offense.

Dear Hockey Team (aka "Pioneers"),
Why have we lost five games in a row? You are all great players...well not you Aaron, but you're learning, like me (but in my head I'm better than you, at least I don't steal the puck from my own teammates)...And why the cold shoulders? Is it violating hockey code to get chummy whilst putting pads on/taking them off? Art, you don't seem to have a problem stripping down, I might not ever look at a middle aged heavyish bare-chested man the same. Bradley, wow that was a lot of cuss words in one breath last night when our team helped the other team score. I admit that it crossed my mind several times last night after the slaughter that maybe I was the one who dropped the ball (or missed the puck), five too many times. But there was a serious lack of goals, too, and those were not my job - I'm defense for a reason.

Dear Laundry,
I might hate you, but I love how all the little shirts and pants disperse themselves into four neat, albeit towering, piles. Really. I love those four piles.
p.s. Explain to me how Bekah has only one pair of underwear for a week? Please tell me the washer is eating the other six pairs...

Dear Marianne,
You made my night last night when you willingly ate more than one bite of avocado. You and I might have both been covered in green mush, but there were officially six bites of avocado in your tummy! Now please open up for pears or bananas or sweet potatoes!

Dear NieNie,
I entered your "Motherhood is" essay contest and I would really like to win. I hope you'll agree because I'm already planning the conversation we'll share on Mother's day. It'll be all about your baby without any awkward burn questions, I promise. If I don't win I'll just have to tell myself that you never got my email...how could you not love an essay that begins with spit up?

Dear Trees,
Rus and I spent a fortune on you last week. We are reversing the horrible decision Rus's grandpa made to never plant a single tree on this property four decades ago. So please do your part and grow fast. Like treehouse-next-year-fast. Rus will water you and you will grow. End of discussion.

Dear Beau,
I know that in your mind my job description is thus: "Mom will play with Beau at all times and in all things and in all places," but I'm afraid you didn't read the fine print which reads: "Except when there is laundry to do, dishes to wash, floors to clean, toilets to disinfect, errands to run, other kids/husband to please, or on rare occasion, personal interests to pursue." I'm sorry. I really do like legos. And monsters.

Love,
Keri/Mom

Monday, April 9, 2012

Meet Big Mama

So you know how when you're dating and someone tries to set you up on a blind date and you ask what he's like and the person responds, "Well, he's just such a great guy, from an awesome family, amazing cook, great smile, such a strong testimony," and then you instantly know that he's probably five hundred pounds and lives at home with his mother?
That's how I feel introducing you to our new van, aptly named "Big Mama." She has a flat screen bigger than our computer monitor (not hard to do, I know).
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She has a dvd player. And in rare fashion, she also has this:
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Yes, VHS.
She has room in her for Marianne to crawl around.
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I can almost stand up in her.
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I can almost stand up because she has a high-top. Which is a very nice place to put all of the wood paneling and mood lighting.
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She has dual exhaust. (A favorite of Rus')
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She has doors on both sides. Not sliding doors, regular doors.
She's all leather. Power everything. Almost purrs, runs like a "raped ape." (Rus' words.)
Meet Big Mama.
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For better or worse.

From Rus:
5.3L V8
285 HP
Dual Exhaust
4-wheel disc brakes
18" alloy wheels
Need I say more?

Easter Fun

My favorite part of Easter was hands-down reenacting the crucifixion and burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ with my kids...with Lego men. We had made a little garden tomb scene last Monday for family night
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and we had talked about how Jesus had died and then was resurrected. I wanted to reiterate the point on Easter morning, after the Peeps had been devoured and the Easter baskets plundered, so we gathered in Jacob and Beau's room and busted out the Lego men. Bekah even has a Lego girl, so she ran and got her so she could be Mary Magdalene. That is my favorite part of the whole story - where Mary Magdalene thinks that the gardener has taken Jesus' body, only to find out moments later that she is talking to her beloved - and now resurrected - Jesus Christ. My kids helped me tell the story...I want them to know and remember what Easter is truly about and why the empty tomb is so marvelous.
As for the rest of the day...we went to Church (where the kids enjoyed lots of candy, courtesy of their teachers), and later had a family dinner and Easter egg hunt with cousins. It was a really fun night. I love this picture of Rus and his brother and sister chatting out on the back porch while the kids played. Don't make fun of Jacob's face..he really does look like that. ;)
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After dinner the kids were dying to do their egg hunt (well they were dying before dinner but they had to wait until after). The adults hid the eggs outside and then the kids lined up youngest to oldest, ready to find them.
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My backyard, as you may recall, is a mess of cactus and sagebrush and dirt, and thus the eggs were hidden in cactus and sagebrush and dirt, but they still had a good time and no one got poked. This was the best "hiding place."
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Beau found the egg but he couldn't reach it...which made for a very loud and whiny Beau, and a very amused panel of adults. I did help him...after the picture.
Here are Russel and Beau showing off their treats:
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And here are some other pics, just for fun:
A happy Marianne (who is seven months now and has her first tooth!)
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And a very happy Beau
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I hope your Easter was just as delightful!

Saturday, April 7, 2012

GC at the Payne House

How we roll during General Conference:
Rus and Beau nap on Sunday afternoon.
Bekah, in her princess dress, distributes the appropriate amounts of candy to herself and Jacob, a reward for listening.
We reposition the furniture to face our tiny 17" computer monitor. 
Image Bekah makes "scary eyes" at a jelly bean. She is wearing makeup - she begged, I conceded.
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 Last week was General Conference for our Church. So for two wonderful days - eight hours all together - we got to sit and listen as a family and be inspired and taught and uplifted. And when I say "listen," of course I mean something like this:
Mom - "Beau, sit down!"
Bekah - "Ug! Mom! Jacob is kicking my head!"
Jacob - "I just need to stretch! How am I supposed to stretch with your head there?!"
Mom - "Jacob, stretch in a different direction. Beau! Quiet! I can't hear!"
Bekah - "Mom what does adultery mean?"
Mom - "Beau, go sit with your dad. He's falling asleep."

And of course each talk was punctuated by the candy count - each child counting up their tally marks for the word they had been listening for and getting the corresponding number of m&ms or skittles. This year I felt sort of genius when found the mini m&ms at Walmart and used those for their treat. That way when Bekah heard "family" 48 times in one talk she was really only eating the equivalent of three bites of chocolate.
I really do love conference. I know that if I take the time to listen to each talk, I will be uplifted, and the counsel isn't just good for a day, it's planted in my brain for when I really need it.
Here are some of my favorite highlights: (click on the name for the link to the talk)
Cheryl A Esplin's talk about teaching for understanding. She said to create an atmosphere where our children can feel the Spirit and then help them recognize what they are feeling. As children learn gospel principles, they will be more self reliant, more responsible, and they become part of the solution to family problems.
Donald L. Halstrom's talk about the Church vs. the Gospel. I loved this talk, in large part because I don't remember it being talked about so clearly before. He warned that it is possible to be active in the church and inactive in the Gospel. He gave three different ways to strengthen our Gospel foundation.
Jeffrey R. Holland's talk about the laborers in the vineyard. I loved how he shared the parable of the laborers from the bible and summed up the master's words at the end: "Why should you be jealous because I choose to be kind?" Then Elder Holland talked about envy - and I just loved this whole paragraph so I'm quoting it here:
"Furthermore, envy is a mistake that just keeps on giving. Obviously we suffer a little when some misfortune befalls us, but envy requires us to suffer all good fortune that befalls everyone we know! What a bright prospect that is—downing another quart of pickle juice every time anyone around you has a happy moment! To say nothing of the chagrin in the end, when we find that God really is both just and merciful, giving to all who stand with Him “all that he hath,” as the scripture says. So lesson number one from the Lord’s vineyard: coveting, pouting, or tearing others down does not elevate your standing, nor does demeaning someone else improve your self-image. So be kind, and be grateful that God is kind. It is a happy way to live."
Also, I loved this quote: "It underscores the thought I heard many years ago that surely the thing God enjoys most about being God is the thrill of being merciful, especially to those who don’t expect it and often feel they don’t deserve it."
And: "It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines."
Great talk. Click on the link, read it.
Dieter F. Uchtdorf's talk, "The Merciful Obtain Mercy." I, along with everyone else watching, appreciated when he shared a bumper sticker he had seen that said, "Don't judge me because I sin differently than you." SO TRUE!
He also said (and I paraphrase), we all depend on the mercy of God. How can we deprive any of the mercy of grace that we wish for ourselves.
Ronald A Rasband's talk "Special Lessons." I loved this quote: "Thus another special lesson learned: If you come upon a person who is drowning, would you ask if they need help—or would it be better to just jump in and save them from the deepening waters? The offer, while well meaning and often given, “Let me know if I can help” is really no help at all."
This talk was on my mind a few nights ago when I was exhausted, it was late, and I wanted to go to bed but I needed to wake and feed Marianne so that she would sleep through the night. Rus asked if I wanted him to do it and I said no, frustrated that he was asking. I thought it was obvious that his help would be appreciated; he thought he covered his bases by asking me if I needed help. This happens repeatedly in our marriage. I think that you should just help when you see a need, and Rus thinks that you need to ask for help if you need it. So he gets mad at me - for being mad at him for not just helping me - because I didn't ask him. (Read it slowly. Twice. It might make sense then.) I realized that most of us will jump in when we see someone obviously drowning. The problem comes when the person is drowning and no one can see it. Thus it is our own responsibility to ask for help, even if it's hard and humbling to do so.
M. Russell Ballard's talk "That the Lost May Be Found." He said that there is no service greater than that which promotes the home to a divine institution. I love it when our leaders remind us and refocus us on the importance of our homes. Life is so busy and hectic, I need the reminder that my family and home are first and everything I do should elevate or at least support my family.
He also said, "Now, if for any reason you individually or as a family have lost your way, then you need only apply the Savior’s teachings from Luke, chapter 15, to correct your course. Here the Savior tells of the effort of a shepherd searching for his lost sheep, of a woman searching for a lost coin, and of the welcome received by the prodigal son returning home. Why did Jesus teach these parables? He wanted us to know that none of us will ever be so lost that we cannot find our way again through His Atonement and His teachings." None of us will ever be SO lost that we cannot find our way again through His Atonement. What wonderful and hopeful words those are!
Larry Y Wilson's talk "Only upon the Principles of Righteousness." I loved this quote, "Our children are in our homes for a limited time. If we wait until they walk out the door to turn over to them the reins of their moral agency, we have waited too long. They will not suddenly develop the ability to make wise decisions if they have never been free to make any important decisions while in our homes. Such children often either rebel against this compulsion or are crippled by an inability to make any decisions on their own." He also said to help our children establish their own connection to heaven.
 And finally, I loved the hymns that were sung during conference. They sang two of my absolute favorite hymns, Praise to the Lord the Almighty" and "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing." My favorite lyrics from the first are, "Ponder anew what the Almighty can do..." My favorite lyrics from Come Thou Fount are, "Take my heart, O take and seal it, seal it in thy courts above."

The end.