Peg Kerr's Journal

This past weekend was our seventeenth annual cookie baking. We were baking for nine households, and after so many years, we have the whole process down to a well-oiled machine. Each of us brought two batches of cookies, one already baked and the other baked that day at my sister's house.

As it was December 13, Santa Lucia Day, I also brought lussekatter, for us to have with our coffee as we baked. We spread the cookies out on a long table in my sister's living room. By taking up columns of cookies, we each had a nice mix.



M came along with Alona and Fiona, to the joy of all. Her first cookie baking!

Description: Background: a table covered with rows of Christmas cookies: bottom: a group of women smile at the camera. Top: three lussekatter

Celebrations



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We gathered at my sister Betsy's this year, and we had a lovely evening together. Because everyone in my family is a marvelous cook, the food, of course, was delicious. It's a matter of great joy to all of us that my mom is still with us to celebrate the holidays.

I hope you all had as wonderful a Thanksgiving as we did.

Image description: Top: a buffet set with Thanksgiving foods. Below that: a family gathered around a Thanksgiving table. Lower center: a mother and daughter smile at the camera. Bottom: a caramel cheese cake, surrounded by decorative squashes.

Thanksgiving



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You know, I do my best to just live my life and be a brave little toaster, but this week, it's just felt like...a lot.

I need to get a new car. Mine is twenty-five years old and leaking coolant. And I don't know where or how to start. Will I be able to afford anything decent?

Pain continues. The physical therapist has ordered me to use a cane. I have to use it in my (non-dominant) left hand, the one with arthritis, and just manipulating it with that hand is difficult enough that I have to start using my arthritis brace on that hand again.

I've also been told to wear an IS brace, a velcro strap that goes around my hips. Weirdly enough, it gives me nausea. Constantly.

Medical appointments. So. Many. Medical. Appointments.

All of this makes it difficult to exercise. And I NEED to exercise. I got the results of my bone scan this week, and my osteopenia is continuing to get worse. I need to get into the gym and lift weights and I'm not doing so, and so I'm beating myself up about it.

The news. Need I say more?

Christmas is looming, and the thought of preparing for the holidays is daunting.

I'm about to retire, and I am struggling with uncertainty about what it is going to look like. (Will I have enough money is giving me constant low-grade anxiety)

Rob's 70th birthday was this past week.

Both of the girls have been sick and stressed. Delia's internship is about to end, and she doesn't know where she will find another job.

On Wednesday, I had to sit through a meeting that droned on for an hour and a half. I kept standing up and sitting down again. I was so obviously uncomfortable that my coworkers sent me home, and I spent the rest of the day with the covers literally pulled over my head.

I'm sorry. I'm complaining, and I truly don't like that. I don't feel depressed, exactly? But I don't feel at my best, shall we say.

Image description: Background: a light-filled doorway in a room with gray peeling paint. Superimposed over it: a semi-transparent image of a woman's face with eyes closed, strands of hair blowing over her eyes. Lower center: a statue with green patina of a woman, holding her hand to her forehead. Upper left corner: a dried leaf clings to a twig.

Melancholy



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I have had to do waaaaaaaaayyyyy too much adulting this week.

I've been thinking about the fact that modern daily life involves an unavoidable level of risk.

People get sick.
Car accidents happen.
A passerby might slip on one's property and decide to sue.

Society has developed a way to deal with these risks by creating the concept of insurance. Spreading the risk out to a pool of people makes an ugly surprise much less catastrophic than it might be.

But this past week, an immense amount of work has gone into administering my risk management.

I have mentioned that I am going to retire soon, partly due to the fact that I have in the past year had a Significant Birthday. For various reasons, I had to change my personal insurance arrangements.

But it did not go smoothly, bureaucracies being what they are.

I have had a number of problems with doctors' bills since the Very Significant Birthday when my insurance changed, but I paid the extra money demanded and grumbled but did not think much about it. I had to cancel a dentist appointment because the insurance information was incorrect.

But I hadn't really buckled down to get at the root of the problem until now.

I had an appointment arranged with my doctor this week, but when I did the pre-check in with my doctor's office, I found that they had a company listed for my insurance that I had never even heard of before.

I am not going to bore you with the bureaucratic details (it would take much, much too long to explain), but the upshot was that I was on the phone with six different insurance entities this week, trying to straighten out various problems.

Being an adult really sucks sometimes.

Image description: Central image: a woman leaps into space with her outstretched arms and legs shading into color that suggests movement. Top and bottom: names of various insurance entities: Medicare, State Farm, Further, Portico, Delta Dental, and AmeriHealth.

Risk



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This was one of those weeks that had me wondering, "What was this week about? What can I do for my collage?"

I had a hard time coming up with anything. The week was uneventful, and I have been feeling quiet inside. A little subdued, maybe.

The cold is starting to settle in, and I see frost on the grass in the mornings now.

I have been drinking hibiscus tea to try to bring my blood pressure down a bit.

Fiona and M came over for a visit last Sunday. Poor Fiona was so exhausted (hard work digging trenches during the day, welding classes in the evening, and up with a screaming baby at night), and so after I fed her apple pastries, I told her to go upstairs and take a nap on my bed while I hung out with M.

Babies are oblivious to schedules and deadlines. They live in the moment. I sang songs to her and let her stand on my thighs and bounce up and down (she has Strong Opinions and Takes Umbrage at traditional baby holds. No, no, no. She wants to stand). She fussed for a while until I gave her a bottle and let her sleep. I stared at her for half an hour, just drinking in her presence and enjoying the quiet, until Fiona awoke and came downstairs again, looking sleepy.

"Thanks," she said.

"Anytime," I told her. "Come back again to rest anytime."

Image description: A hand holds a brown leaf up against the sun. Top: a woman's hand cradles a baby's hand. Lower right corner: a cup of hibiscus tea with a slice of lemon floating on the surface of the tea. Semi-transparent overlay: frost on the grass.

Quiet



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This past week included another Year of Adventure event: I took a day trip with my friends Eleanor Arnason and her partner Patrick Wood to the National Eagle Center in Wabasha, Minnesota.

It was a splendid day for a drive--crystal clear, and a comfortable temperature. We had hoped for fall colors, but the warm weather in September meant that the trees were rather muted in tone. Fortunately, we could still take pleasure in the sepia browns of the corn fields, the languidly blowing grasses, and the water sparkling brilliantly from the surface of Lake Pepin. Eleanor and Patrick told stories of road trips taken in the past as I drove.

We stopped at Lark Toys for lunch, where the carved carousel was duly admired and delicious fudge was purchased to savor later. From there, we went to the National Eagle Center and listened to the interpreter's explanations about the eagles, their habits and life cycle. The eagles they had on site had permanent injuries that prevented their rehabilitation into the wild, but as eagles spend almost 90% of their time in the wild simply perching, watching the world around themselves, they were apparently content.

The second floor had exhibits examining the importance of eagles as symbols in both Native American and United States culture.

We resisted buying any of the adorable toy eagles in the gift shop, but it was a near thing.

Then, to my astonishment, Eleanor and Patrick directed me to a side road not far away where they happened to know of a hidden buffalo reserve that had a herd of about 150 bison. It didn't take us long to find a herd, and I got some pictures from the road.

A successful day, we decided as I drove us home. We will take more road trips together in the future.

Image description: Background: A buffalo skin mounted on a wall, painted by a Native American artist with eagle symbology. Center: Eleanor Arnason and Patrick Wood. Lower center: several buffalo, seen from the side. Overlaid over the buffalo: an injured bald eagle sits on a perch.

Eagles



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I had two Year of Adventure meetings this week, both dedicated to teaching me how to make something new.

I met with my sister Betsy, who showed me how to make an apple pie from scratch, including the pastry. The secret, I was duly informed, is the use of lard (which makes the pastry light and flaky) and tapioca to thicken the apple filling. Okay, I will admit that the pastry cover was placed a little crookedly, but I can assure you that it was delicious.

I also got together with carbonel, who invited me to her home to give me my first lesson on spinning wool into yarn. I had some experience with a drop spindle many years ago, but spinning on a spinning wheel takes a degree of coordination that I obviously did not master in the time we were working together. First, the treadle must be worked in the correct direction at a steady rate--I kept hesitating on the pedal, and the wheel would aggravatingly start turning in the wrong direction. And the hand coordination was another thing: I kept holding the roving (the combed wool) in the left hand too tightly ("hold it lightly, as if were a baby bird" carbonel kept chanting in my ear with only a hint of exasperation), and my clumsiness with the drafting (feeding the wool with the right hand) meant that the yarn kept overtwisting.

But at least I have my first effort of spun wool sitting on my dining room table, and I keep glancing at it with an interesting mix of pride and embarrassment. It is very, very bad, but at least I can now say that I have tried spinning.

This collage is not one of my favorites, being both too busy and too monochromatic, but hey, that's what I have.

Image description: Center: a smiling woman (Peg) stands at a counter with a rolling pin and an unbaked apple pie. Top left: hands cut a pastry cutter through pastry dough in a bowl. Top right: hands work pastry dough in a bowl. Below that: various apple pie ingredients. Lower left: a hand holds unspun wool. Lower right: a spinning wheel. Lower center: a butterfly of (badly) spun undyed wool.

Making



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I have been steeped in everything science fiction and fantasy for decades, but there is one thing I've had no experience with whatsoever:

I have never tried Dungeons and Dragons gaming.

I'm not quite sure why. Heaven knows I have dozens of long-time friends who have been gaming for years, and I've heard peripheral conversations on the topic at many a science fiction convention. Even around my own dinner table, as Fiona has long enjoyed gaming.

So when I sent out my call for ideas for Year of Adventure things to do, one friend, lydamorehouse, hit upon the obvious: why not join her group for a gaming session?

I went over to Lyda's house to consult, and she walked me through the process of pulling together a character to play. I was pretty lucky with my rolls, and Lydra graciously set me up at Level Four. After an hour and a half of questions and answers, I had a new character, a ranger, with a respectable level of skills to test out.

And that's what I did last Saturday over Zoom: I was invited to join the troupe of motley characters by a rather glittery dragon and came upon the assembled company at a windmill, where they were regrouping after their last adventure. I had to follow Lyda's prompts and ask a lot of questions, but I had a general idea of what to do. I spent a fun three hours playing with the others. We stashed some magical pastries, examined a magical rune book in a Bag of Holding, and tangled with a vampire. I took out my bow and quiver, stuck a garlic roll onto the end of the arrow, and shot it into his chest. This gave me the satisfaction of staggering him a bit--although I didn't have much of a chance to savor my victory since he promptly turned me into a frog.

I got better eventually and exited, following a wolf. But the experience was deemed a success for all concerned (and apparently I didn't grossly offend anyone), so I was invited to return for the next session.

I think I'm going to enjoy this.

Image description: Background, bottom layer: a Dungeons and Dragons character page. Overlaid over it: Center: an old-fashioned windmill building. Left: a darkly sinister male figure dressed in black, a wolf at his side. Right: a woman pulls back the string of bow loaded with an arrow aiming at the man, a bread roll (a garlic roll) affixed to the tip. At her feet: a frog. Upper half, semi-transparent: a screenshot of several people in Zoom conference. Hovering over the vanes of the windmill: a miniature dragon.

Gaming



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Eric and took a one-day road trip to New Ulm this past weekend, a little Year of Adventure event. We ate lunch at a friendly bistro, Lola's and then spent an absorbing hour touring the childhood home of Wanda Gág, the owner of Millions of Cats. The two docents seemed absolutely delighted to have visitors and almost talked our ears off about the Gág family.

There were a couple of other stops, to poke around an antique store or two, and to take pictures at the statue of Hermann the Cheruscan ("Hermann the German"), the statue of Wanda Gág in front of the public library, and the Minnesota Music Hall of Fame. A very pleasant getaway.

Image Description: A Victorian Queen Anne home, overlaid with a black and white picture of a young woman holding an easel and paintbrush. Left: A guitar in the shape of the Prince Love symbol, made of musical instruments (the instrument's neck is a keyboard). Right: an iron lamppost. Center: the statue of Herman the German, sword raised, overlaid with a statue of Wanda Gág reading to a cat. Right corner: a black cat with an arched back. Upper right: logo for Lola Bistro.

New Ulm



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I went to Open Streets Minneapolis at Cedar Avenue this past Sunday.

When I was at the Powderhorn Art Fair several weeks ago, I saw a booth selling Haitian oil drum metal artwork. I knew I wanted to buy one of their Trees of Life, but they didn't have one that was quite right that day. The people at the booth told me that they would also be at the next Open Streets event, and so I decided to stop by to see if they would have another Tree at that event that I would like.

I had picked out the one that I wanted online, but alas, they didn't have one that I wanted in stock. Still, I was glad that I had come. It was fun to wander down the street, looking at the art cars and examining the items for sale at the various booths.

As I walked past the Somali mall, I saw another item being offered: free camel rides. A saddled camel stood in the weedy lot beside the mall, standing next to a mounting block and calmly chewing its cud. A line of eager children had lined up waiting to take their turn.

I walked by, not really thinking about it. And after I got home later that afternoon, I thought, belatedly, of that missed opportunity.

Why on earth didn't I take a camel ride? Why?

This is supposed to be my Year of Adventure, and I have done some fun things. But I realized that night that moments of adventure can be missed if you aren't paying attention.

Next time, I will take the camel ride. I promise.

I have ordered the Tree of Life online, and it should be arriving Monday. I'm really looking forward to mounting it on the wall.

Image description: Foreground: three art cars. Behind: A cut metal tree of life painted in hues of blue and green with yellow tips. A saddled camel overlays the tree. Top: "Open Streets Minneapolis: Cedar Riverside."

Camel Ride



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