Ramen!

Unlike most people who love Chirashi and sashimi, I can only eat cooked Japanese food. Raw fish just makes my tongue really itchy! So anyway, today after teaching we decided to trek to lunch at Tras street for sushi. A colleague had initially suggested on heading to Sushi Kou.When we reached there around 12:30 pm there was already a very very long queue! In the interest of time, we decided to go for Keisuke Tonkotsu King which was just next door. 

#01-19 Orchid Hotel1 Tras Street

We had to queue for about 15-20 minutes before we managed to get a seat for four. If you're looking for a seat for two i think it's much easier for them to squeeze you in. Whilst queuing, you get to order your ramen. They even have seats for you to sit and cold barley tea which you can help yourself to as well.

This ramen shop is quite a cramped, no frills, authentic (or so I would like to imagine) ramen place.

For the soup - there's three soup bases for you to choose from. Regular, black with chilli and red with chilli. You then also indicate the level of saltiness of the soup, consistency of the noodles, if you would like anything e.g. spring onions/black fungus etc omitted from your ramen. You can also choose if you would like extra pork, flavoured egg or seaweed added or combination of all. So it's quite flexible.

On the table they actually provide free hard boiled eggs (low cholesterol and normal) and pickled bean sprouts as well. I did not have any but my friend did have five eggs!! 

I had the light soup with less oil this time round, basic flavoured soup with seaweed and egg. I chose the light soup cause i remember when i first patronised this ramen shop months ago it was quite salty (as ramen usually is). Glad with my choice today! The soup was just right, tasty and flavourful without being too salty and i added the ground sesame which made it even more yummy. The flavoured egg was good as well.

Was super full after that!

On the way back at the Tanjong Pagar MRT, dropped by joyous to pick up some pineapple tarts. They did not seem as nice as i remembered them to be - the pineapple was not very tasty and they seemed a bit burnt as well. The lady told me I had to order by the first week of december for Chinese New Year. That's quick... Hmm, still going to think about it first before I get down to buying.

Sometimes I wish i could send this message across to parents...

Today i got slapped in clinic on the cheek and had a computer slammed into me

All by a mere eight year old boy...

That was in a mere 30 minute consultation. I cannot imagine what his parents have to go through everyday. The bruises, the pain, the literal blood sweat and tears. A mother's love is indeed amazing...

When i finish this posting, I am going to miss my wednesday half day offs. It's really quite a refreshing feeling going to work in the morning, making plans for the afternoon feeling like you have so much of your day to leisurely spend after work instead of going home tired after work everyday. This week i went for a facial and to get my eye brows done. I got so annoyed when i was at the facial. Firstly after cleansing my face, the therapist proceeded to ask me to top up some money (although i already had a package) to use some korean products. (The facial spa is Japanese... one wonders why they would randomly start promoting korean products.. gimmick). So i said No. I presume she then went to alert her supervisor who then came and tried to hard sell me summore, whilst i was lying there helpless. Then after that fine they accepted that i would not do it so she went ahead with the facial, telling me I could change treatment cause of my acne at the moment, no extra charges. So i agreed and just went ahead. Post facial, before she finished, she tried to sell me some eye serum, which i politely declined. I have more than enough face products and recently i've been trying to spend with prudence as well. So after i had changed, i got led out into another room for a discussion  where she promoted and encouraged me to upgrade my package for the new kind of treatment and also to buy the eye serum again (Obviously my therapist had fedback to her about it). Sigh, I was so irritated with the hard sell so many times and so persistent throughout the visit. I've already a package, can't you just give me a break and stop asking me to add this and that etc. Blehhhh I think the worst part is when i say no the therapist then reports so her senior who will come and continue to try and hard sell. Annoying, sigh. I just hope my skin will improve...

Can't wait for my upcoming leave. Weekend round this weekend and i have to do another presentation on Tuesday. Even though it's not as physically tiring as doing a string of every other day calls, it's tiring in another way. And to me, psychiatry is also very emotionally tiring, especially child and adolescent psychiatry. But I have learnt a lot, opened my eyes to the suffering around me. Hoping that with time, I will be able to contribute more and help out more with under privileged people. Plans in the pipeline! 

So many things I want to do before i turn thirty. Seems like it's already looming in the horizon, sadly. It's funny how once you're past twenty five, life seems to whizz past you. It's like you're supposed to grow up and experience life at an exponential speed, before age starts setting in and you regret wasting your youth away.

Celebrated my mother's birthday at the end of last month. Sorry can't find better pictures! We went to the chinese restaurant at Majestic Hotel. It wasn't too bad but i remember the food being better the last time I went there for Shawn's birthday in June. 

Foie Gras :) Always yummy! It's really hard to go wrong with it

Shark's Fin soup :) It was quite starchy though

Cod Fish which turned out slightly tough and over cooked

Yummy Lobster noodles

Makes me miss the London Lobster noodles though :) Bayswater!

Opted for the sorbet cause i was rather full after 8 individually plated courses.

Didn't take pictures of every dish and hmm I should have remembered the exact description of each dish but ah wells.

It's been such a long week for some reason. I guess that's what happens when you're on a Saturday call which didn't give me much rest. Kept getting called intermittently through the nice so I didn't manage to sleep actually cause every time i reach the call room and lie down someone would hmm fall? And it doesn't help that all the blocks are so widely spaced. I was so tired on Sunday.

So many things I want to do when I am on leave, I have quite a lot of things to catch up on as well.

Hmm, on top of that I want to do some baking as well, shall start searching for recipes. And Perth next month :) Looking forward to going away. Love the christmas-sy feeling in Western countries! Time to start planning what to get everyone for Christmas as well.

Grown up Christmas List.

I remember writing to Santa Claus when i was young. I'm convinced my Dad just stole the letters haha. Well to this day, the four of us still hang stockings up on Christmas Eve and we still get them filled each year without fail. This song rings true. Sending prayers to all those in need and in despair. Spare a thought for those alone and going through hard times. Christmas can indeed be one of the most difficult times for families going through financial and emotional difficulties! Give thanks for the love and families we have to share the season with.

"...No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Every man would have a friend
That right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list..."

Today a child came in to clinic for temper tantrums

It then transpired that this child was very sensitive and was currently in a primary school for rich kids "but i am not from a rich family". This kid is in primary 1, it's sad how children learn about wealth and get side-lined so early on in life, but i guess that's the reality of life

Anyway, then, this child had been saving up to make a card and buy a pen for teacher's day. Instead of buying a 40 cent pen, he then decided to get the 80 cent one as it would be nicer for the teacher. He then made his own teacher's day card as well. Then on the day of teacher's day, the other children in school came in with profesionally made cards and nicely wrapped expensive gifts, this kid was very upset cause his gift was too small and not good enough, he did not even dare give it to the teacher cause he was too embarrassed...

The whole situation made me feel so sad. Sad for the kid, his family, society in general. Sad that this child has grown up with this view that inadequacy is caused by a lack of money, sad that this is the very kind of child who is going to be bullied and picked on and impact the rest of his life.. he's only in primary one, things will only get worse :(

I guess that's where we're reminded in the bible, it's not about equal gifts but equal sacrifice
In fact, this gift from the kid who saved up his week's pocket money to buy the teacher's day gift, was probably more precious and meaningful than any teacher's day gift that teacher would have received, but sadly, the teacher will never know :(

Heys

For the past month, i've been doing child and adolescent psychiatry.
During this month, i have often come home feeling emotionally burdened from what these children/adolescents have to go through so early on in life or the troubles their families face daily.
Often i will come home and literally need to go for a run to think things through, come home and pray for them.

People really do need the Lord as the Steve Green song goes.

Sometimes i wish life were simplier, sometimes i wish i could just give some of these people money, make their lives better just for a while..

In child and adolescent psychiatry a lot of what you see if the result of family conflict/poor parenting, i must say a lot of what these kids suffer is really not their fault, it's adversity that have brought these problems upon them and it's really sad cause they truly are the innocent party and to be honest its hard to change families and parents and very often, you have kids coming and telling you their parents marriages need help or their parents need help yet, adults like to pretend everything is OK, i guess it's their own pride, they don't realize how things impact on their children. Children were made to grow up loved, feeling safe. Your home is supposed to be that place of security, filled with love.

When i see all these brokenesss, it really burdens me to know because of familial/parenting issues, these kids will grow up with distortions of the world and mental health problems that will often perpetuate itself through generations. No amount of drugs/therapy can help sometimes, especially if security and love is not something you've grown up with, it's tough..

I was talking to the medical social worker the other day and we were just talking about how chaotic families are and how sad it is and like what she said, sometimes, the only thing we can do is to pray for these people :) 

Hello!

Half a year has passed us by so quickly

Been doing neonatology for the past seven months and i've really enjoyed it :)
Love how the department is really nice and encouraging, making coming to work on most days a joy and how everyone chips in to help each other everyday. It's also been amazing to see how people deal with the emotional side of things with regards to life/death decisions we make as a department and see how couples/families deal differently with adversity etc. Really respect the parents who go through tough times and yet cling on and trust God so faithfully and believe in his unfailing goodness.

Going on to do child and adolescent psychiatry next, kinda scared cause i haven't touched psychiatry in such a long time but i'm sure that God has a plan in all this and it will all work out. I guess i just don't like change.. so hopefully once i settle into a new hospital etc it'd be ok

Just came back from Hongkong. Went there for five days where all we did was mostly shop and eat. Ate way too much, till i felt so sick of having chinese food. Must say service standards in hongkong have definitely improved since the last time i went there. It's amazing how many big malls they have and all the malls are full even on weekdays, it's as if they don't have to work! And despite a lot of the public housing etc looking quite grubby looks like they can afford a lot of luxury goods though! In one of those wish i could go for a beach holiday and spend time relaxing by the sea kinda modes.. haha. Looks like the next trip will be Perth at the end of the year for my cousin's wedding.

So much to look forward too... i keep telling people that Christmas is coming and they keep giving me weird looks. I find once june passes, the rest of the year just zooms past in a blur and we're onto the new year again! Haha.. Believe me, christmas will be upon us soon :)

Hello world

It's christmas :) As we get older, that magical feeling that surrounds christmas diminishes and it becomes a nice day to catch up with family and on some much needed rest and remind ourselves about the true meaning of christmas.

It's been a long year. One filled with numerous ups and downs. But i think overall, it's been a good year. There's just so much to look back on as 2012 draws to a close.

As we grow up, we learn what really matters. You learn how to pioritize things in life, you know what you want, what's important and how to let go of what's not and i think during this year a lot of things have really been put in perspective for me. Young and naive, we think we can work hard and achieve a lot of things in life, but at the end of the day, what really matters are the people around you, their happiness, your happiness and spending time with the people that matter to you most. A job will never bring the same fulfilment. Over the course of the year i've met so many people who have chosen that route and have as a result become grumpy and just never content with life and it's really quite saddening. In life, we can't have everything we want and you look around you and realize that the people who sacrificed life over job are those that are a lot more fulfilled, content with life, happy basking amongst the warmth of relationships that matter instead of chasing the rat race cause at the end of the day, you'll never be good enough, there's always going to be people ahead of you and even if you accumulate wealth, it's never going to be enough, you'll always want more. True happiness is found in contentment and knowing you're loved and treasured by the people around you who'll always be there for you.

Making life changing decisions is an extremely nerve wrecking thing. It's funny how nowadays when you meet up with people no one talks much about shopping and sales anymore cause everyone is so broke from buying houses or getting married.. haha all part of the process of growing up. Quarter of a century old...

So much has happened in 2012, so much to be grateful for :)

I'm grateful for how God has led me and guided me through this whole year through it all, family, boyfriend, friends :) For the good times, and the bad times that make you appreciate the good times... and all the things and situations that has helped me grow up to be quarter a century old..

Hello!! :)

It's been a year! I almost forgot about the existence of this blog.

I've finished my year as a houseman :) It's been a tough year, but i must say it's passed really quickly. So much has changed. I think this year has really been one of many ups and downs. We all start out being idealistic and wanting to change the world, but after working awhile, you learn the most important thing is surviving each day. Many a times, you get people who don't appreciate your sleepless nights and sacrifices you make, the families and demanding patient's that just scream at you and make you go crazy. But at the end of the day, there are those few who smile at you every morning, thank you for what you do, that remind you of the reason why you chose this path in life. Such people make my day. After doing eight months of adult medicine, i realized that i should really work with kids as well. Although adults may be easier to deal with, kids are cute, their smiles may my day, and it helps you get to play with them too. Nevermind the anxious parents, all you need is that kid with a smile and big eyes to make your day, make being up at 4 am in the morning worth it :)

As you work, you also realize that getting through housemanship also alot about camaraderie, encouraging each other through those dreadful hours and demands. You don't get through on your own. Those tears and feeling of helplessness when the demands get too much, are only overcome with true friends who help you out when you're having a bad day. I'm really thankful for all the people i've met along the way :)

Enough rambling. All in all, it's been a good year. I've never regretted this decision to come back home to work. No one said it would be easy, but home will always be home - and nothing can beat that feeling of being amongst familiarity and people you love the most.

It's been a month since starting work
Yesterday was my first day off :) After four weeks!
It felt weird not having to wake up early in the morning and i kept waking up every hour

Initially starting work and adjusting to a new system was :/ and i think initially in the first week i felt rather miserable
But things got better and they are ok now. Work is work i guess..

Calls have been better than i thought it would be though you do end up running here and there
But i still haven't got to sleep on any of my calls just cause i'm so scared of not being able to wake up when someone calls me! :/

Feels good to have a weekend off and to do something out of the hospital :)
Ok then, am off to go for a run!
My new cupboards got installed this week as well, so busy unpacking all my stuff, as well as everything that arrived from London as well :) Can't wake for my room to be functional!!

Wow the last time i wrote here was May. Life has changed so much since then!
I should really just upload a video -> shall try and do that later.
Well the past few months have passed in a blur.

1. Had finals which was like so long drawn i'm glad for all the friends who encouraged me a long the way through those long tedious months (But i must say my i have forgotten all the knowledge acquired since then haha).
2. Experienced the passing of an immediate family member for the first time
3.. Went to spain for a couple of days and realised it's kinda like malaysia? The only thing nice about it was the sea
4. Had to pack up five years of my life. I hate packing, and it's such a nightmare trying to fix everything into boxes and decided what to keep/throw.
5. Graduated
6. Went to europe - Prague, Budapest, Italy (Tuscany, Rome, Lake Como) and Rhodes. Great trip with the sisters minus the heat! Now i am so tanned..
7. Louisa's graduation!
8. Came back to Singapore for GOOD (To be honest i didn't even shed a tear about leaving hehe..)
9. Went to Indonesia (Yojarkarta)

Been spending most of my time in singapore meeting up (I'm going to get so fat from the brunches, lunches, tea, dinner etc etc haha). But i'm very glad to be home amongst family and friends :) Had to unpack and settle back home and then to realise that I will need to put everything in boxes as well cause they are going to pain the interior of my house... sigh!

Am due to start work next week. Intro to working in singapore starts next week and then i start proper with paediatrics the week after.

My long holiday has vanished :(

Ok i will try and post the pictures now

Inserted a NG tube today on a woman who just wouldn't stop laughing hysterically afterwards
It was so funny i couldn't stop laughing either
I wonder why! First time i've ever seen anyone so happy to have an NG tube inserted
It was well funny....

Lord i'm stepping out
From the comfort zone
Letting go of me
Holding onto you.

-center of my life.

Hello :)

It's been awhile!

My weekend started on thurs evening, going down to London and then left London at 4 am for Nice.
Nice was a good break. Was dreading it at first cause of all the travelling etc, but it turned out to be a good trip.
Good balance of attending the conference, mingling with people, standing by the posters and got to walk around nice for a couple of hours before i left. I think the highlight of the trip was enjoying the glorious sunshine that the UK lacks (very badly may i add). It was lovely being able to sit on the sidewalk cafes, sit by the beach etc. It was nice that i was able to talk to my reg as well and she was sharing with me her journey in paediatrics etc. Which was good cause recently i've been thinking cardiology.. haha i know i must be the most fickle person ever. But being around inspirational evelina consultants always makes me wanna do paediatric cardiology haha. In the end i decided i love cardiology cause the physiology of the heart amazes me. So it's paediatric cardiology and if not, cardiology? Haha... I think doing paediatrics at a DGH as a career ssc made me doubt it? But then you can't always work at such great institutions.. (unless you decided to hop over to America...)... Spoke to my parents this morning about all this, i know the choice is mine haha but i think i will miss home way too much.. for me, there is no doubt about where home it, it is and always will be singapore..

On the train on the back to Margate now. Silly trains not working all the way so will have to get a bus... grrr irritating. Surgery has passed so quickly, can't believe we're ending so fast and like SSC is due next week oh gosh... gotta get that done as well!

Grey skies.... haha i miss the nice weather already! Haha

Looking forward to campus block, good food and catching up with everyone :)

my life is built on nothing less
than your faithfulness, your faithfulness.

- counting on your name, worship central

If you're bored,
Watch one born every minute on BBC iPlayer
It totally made me miss obstetrics, emotional! Awww seeing those babies born sighs
That same amazing feeling, every single time.

On a better note, it's made me find back the joy and personal aspect of medicine
Not everything is like GS.

oh no... why??? how???
the complicatedness that is life

This is not general surgery on a miniature scale.
These are the tiny humans.
These are children.
They believe in magic.
They play pretend.
There is fairy dust in their IV bags.
They hope, and they cross their fingers, and they make wishes, and that makes them more resilient than adults.
They recover faster, survive worse. They believe.
In PEDS, we have miracles and magic. In PEDS, anything is possible.

Home in six days :) Excited!!
Christmas shopping is driving me nuts!
Next week's going to be a week of lots of eating and partying!
Campus block is like ... Haha Boring stuff!

I've never been that emo about finishing a rotation
Usually it's just sad for awhile if it was a good rotation
But omggg yesterday leaving GP was so sad, i was kinda slightly tearing saying bye to everyone
And then when i stepped outta the door i just cried!
I think i felt so much part of the community there, made friends with the secretaries, all the office staff etc
And one of the doctors even sat me down and talked to me about advice for finals and life when i went to say bye!
Like when i first went to GP something i found weird that the staff weren't just saying "how are you" as a form of greeting like they do all the time in the western world. I was like wow they will stand there for 10 mins just chatting to you about your weekend and then tell you about their lives, grievances etc. I think that's why i grew fond of that place. And like when i am halfway through clinics and sometimes need to change room the nurse would log in for me, even make a new cuppa tea since it was cold by then etc, just really sweet caring people
And it was great seeing patients time and time again and getting to know them, follow up on their cases, calling them to check up on them.
But at the end of the day, GP in singapore is vastly different, something i don't think i am prepared to do

Anyway can't wait to go back to SIngapore, been away for way too long
And this early winter hasn't been good either

Decisions to make over the next few days
Got a job in London. Which was a blessing really. Now I am quite confused
Trying to find God's plan for my life..

My favourite songs of late

Today I saw this woman with down's
She's nearly 50 already but her parents still care for her
She is very intelletually challenged so it was very difficult to take a hx other then she was in pain
The mum had to do most of the explaining
I saw the pain in her eyes when we chatted about how difficult things have been whilst waiting for the doctor
50 years.. I wondered if she ever regretted the decision
My whole journey home I was reflecting on her situation and our conversation
Unselfish love.. If earthly love can be so giving, what more God's love
It must be so much more amazing
We're like that woman with down's- nothing without his love.
He chose to love us, even in our brokeness, even if we have nothing to give
There truly is no greater love.

I think I will miss GP placement
I will miss knowing families etc.

Home soon :) Ahhh can't wait, about a lil more than a month's time!
GP's been good but i should really get down to studying, haven't been reading at all with zero motivation
Now i'm all stuffed up, watery eyes... feel like crap! Been sleeping most of my days away basically.
On the other day, dealing with kids again has made me decide on paediatrics
So that random split moment of a decision during the interview wasn't so random after all
Paeds has found its way back into my heart once again, found joy in it - after it was taken away!
Oh wells, loving running my own surgery though i realize how much stuff i've forgotten like ENT/Ortho etc and i'm still learning with prescribing etc. cheapest drugs is always important... haha.
GP would definitely be a good career choice here, you get such a nice variety of things, you get to dictate your own ours etc, work life balance is great. But back home people tend to go to the specialists instead of GP so it's a different story!

I am in need of an IV caffeine infusion
Sighs, I want a CAR! GP is really hard to get to at the moment with public transport, it takes forever
Other than that, getting to do a variety of things and learning quite a bit!
Jabbed many babies today! Heehee.
The area my GP is in is vastly different to what i am used to in south london
population, affluence.. etc
Today i went on a home visit and i was so amazed and how HUGE and GRAND the houses are!
How often do you see babies wearing burberry!
Well, learning different things with the different population group and most people here go to private for treatment!
Learning different problems faced by the more affluent people etc....
Very interesting i must say to see how disease and affluence correlate to each other..

America was awesome :):):)
Missing every bit of the holiday
Reality strikes but my brain isn't ready to start work just yet
Been having two weeks of lectures and GP rotation starts on Monday

I will put up a photo collage soon

Haven't been blogging much recently because in India i started writing in a pen and paper journal and that has continued throughout this whole elective period
In Chicago at the moment, loving it here.
My sis is coming up next saturday and sam is coming on sunday, looking forward to it :)

Can't believe the electives have gone by so quickly!
Eagerly anticipating traveling around to see niagara falls and then new york at the end before going back to London!
Got december planned too. Going back to Singapore and then heading to Beijing to visit erica since she doesn't get a christmas holiday day. It's going to be our first christmas overseas! At least the immediate family will be together :)

In such a conundrum now over the future of jobs and such
Decisions to be made, so little time, yet so much to consider
I was just wondering these decisions seem so much more difficult to make compared to the decision to do medicine years ago
Guess now a lot more factors come into play.


All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before you, oh Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaims
The joy and the pain, I'm making them yours

Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life

Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my heart, all of my praise
My heart and my hands are lifted to you

Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life

What can we give
That you have not given?
And what do we have
That is not already yours?
All we possess
Are these lives we're living
That's what we give to you, Lord

Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life

Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life
Lord I offer you my life

Finished almost everything on my to do list
except my audit write up, which i have been procrastinating over
I have lost the ability to do anything intellectual of late :(
I just keep trying to put it off!
Spent the day in Cambridge today, it's a nice quiet place
Lots of greenery and old buildings
But if i studied there I think i would be bored! Haha
Pretty though! We basically walked around the various colleges and town centre
And went for lunch at midsummer house which was very good :)
The atmosphere of the restaurant was great as well, not as pretentious as some of the London ones!

Oh watched inception on monday, on a lot of people's recommendations
It was a good show, the plot was excellent but a little too intense and intellectual for me haha
I prefer light hearted bimbotic chick flicks anytime
I don't like leaving the cinema with so much to think about haha
I know i sound really dumb here.. but movies should help you relax :)
That's my personal opinion on movies anyway.

Tonight, I aim to work hard on my article
Tomorrow will be spent packing and then meeting up with the king's people in London for dinner
Friday will be spent at Evelina meeting my consultant and collecting my HIV PEP, sending sam off and then dinner with sheng jun
Saturday early morning 5 something am I will leave for heathrow!
I'm quite excited :):):) Really hope it will be a fulfilling experience

Anyway, will try and update from India when i can.
I will have to go to the nearby internet cafes to use the internet i think, from what i have read.
Wonder if they will have internet in the hospital for me to use haha.
Never underestimate such countries. I remember how during PKK even the backward villages have computers in the schools for the children to use!

Okies then, am off now, my contacts are making my eyes so dry!

Hello :)

Done and dusted with fourth year of medical school.
I think fourth year passed a lot quicker than third, simply because there was so much to learn every few week and each specialty was so vastly different.
I enjoyed fourth year a lot. Sometimes to the extent that i looked forward to going in :)
And part of the joy of fourth year was being able to go back twice this year as well.
Eye-opening and at the same time able to enjoy the luxury of living at home once again, something I am looking forward to doing (hopefully) in a year's time.
I think the highlights of the year was A&E and trauma, the gunshot victim, the first baby i delivered and the satisfaction at being able to pass it to the mum and congratulate her, the challenge of paediatrics..

Leaving for electives in about a week's time.
I am still waiting for my visa at the moment, hopefully that goes through soon.
Excited about going to India, I know it's going to be an incredible experience :) (No pun intended)
All things work for good and i have a feeling this is one of them.
Am now kinda glad America fell through and now I will be going to india for 4 weeks and America for the next 4..
It'd be a good contrast, a real experience of medicine in its various settings.

Job applications open in october, how quickly time flies.
With it lies many decisions to be made.
Location? Specialty?
Hopefully, my elective will help me decide what I want to do for the rest of my life. :)

Millions of things to do at the moment
And i am procrastinating and typing this because I am so lazy
But I am excited for the week to come.
Day trip to cambridge on wednesday as well :) Yay

Yawn i have a million things to do and sort out but i feel so lazy
I did my ironing half way
I think I will leave the rest till tomorrow..
Ok i should go and make my visa appointment now.. sighss

I am retarded..
sigh.. lost opportunity..
All due to my retardedness
But then, maybe it can be rectified?
If not, i just hope it will all work out
Sighs
Bad day.

Home sick..
And it doesn't help that i won't be home for a good 6+ months more

Wants to go home..
Sighhh
Help me get through the next few weeks

Today during old age psych ward round,
A lady with alzheimer's said when asked why she gave money away to random people
"Why do i need money? I don't like money. I came into the world with no money, I will leave with no money"
Everyone was in awe of that statement
She could even make it a famous quote or something
Last day of year 4 today
It's literally flown by, can't believe it

Highly stressed :(
ahhh ssc is giving me such a headache

I hate essay writing
My essay writing is well.. stagnant
And I am behind schedule, wanted to finish it by this weekend, but that is now looking quite impossible, sighs!
Ahhh lately i have very little motivation/will power when i get frustrated.. i just go to sleep!
Like just now, i was rather sian with finding evidence to support some stuff i was writing about, so i just went to sleep and ended up waking up two hours later.. to realize i haven't really solved my problem, sighs!
I think i still have not come to the realization that exams are merely just round the corner as well till i was reminded of that today

On another note, geriatrics ain't that bad. Teaching is good, and the pace is good :) My firm is nice and friendly as well, and we have lots of fun (maybe too much) joking about the wards. It makes three hour ward rounds more fun.. X ray MDT meetings aren't boring too when you end up microporing people to chairs.. the things we do to amuse ourselves!

Hmm i randomly feel like buying a new waterbottle/starbucks cup :) Just to make myself happy!

That day this mother was singing this song in the ICU and her child was like dying
It was so sweet..

Today i saw a lot of cool stuff
Neurofibromatosis
Wilm's Tumour
Prader Willi
Kawasaki Disease
Dextrocardia
All the one day! Yawns but i am tired and sick :( I am cold when the fan is not even on
Gahh must be all the early mornings haha
In such a conundrum about a) whether to singapore upon graduation b) what specialties to do.
Have been getting a lot of different views on stuff.
Oh wells :p Time to go nurse my dying nose

Today on call was ok
I nearly died laughing whilst presenting a case. Not very professional but it was just getting more bizarre by the min and the reg had her eye brows raised ready to burst out laughing any time and every one else was lol... but it was funny! (and complicated)
Had one trauma call brought in by helicopter for paeds. It's funny how they had tonnes of adult red phones today but only one paeds when we are on paeds.. hmm i have never remembered there being so many red phones when we were on e med!
Anyway.. the child's dad cried and i felt so awww like had to hold back tears hmm
Saw gross stuff today too.. anyway, i decided dermatology.. makes me itch.. really!

Something funny that happened in the A&E that day..
Kids are very fast at learning.. sometimes i wish i were that smart lol
I did a cranial nerve exam on a kid with a unilateral droopy face and then whilst he was bored sitting around for 4 hours
He came up to me and started telling me to follow his finger as his did the test for III,IV,VI it was well amusing and then asked was like can you see double? keep your head straight and follow my finger ok! Lol... and then started doing V as well asking me to raise my eyes etc.. haha you know, i think he probably learnt how to do it faster than i ever did!

Started paediatrics on Monday and since then it has been crazy
The amount of knowledge demanded it like over the top.

And A&E is great you see a lot but getting grilled about all the paediatric differentials and presentations + investigations you wanna do + immediate/delayed treatment etc on your first and second day is not so good.. you realize how stupid you are and really, just having started is never an excuse! never..
Had clinical teaching on wednesday too where we got er scolded further! And that's when i was totally convinced that somehow paediatricians weren't nice after all, I am ok if they're mean to us cause at the end of the day even if you are put down, I am learning a lot and that's ok haha but the meanness to patients was like wow.. really incredible.

But.. today restored my faith in paediatricians haha went for neurology ward round and yes you get asked a lot of questions and you're expected to know stuff cause now you're in fourth year and at the end of it but the doctor was just so nice! Had more two on one clinical teaching sessions after which was with such a nice doctor like awwwww he said hi to practically all the patients on all the wards and he carried them etc.. so different from the ones we met earlier in the week!
Had development assessment osce style thing in the community after that which should have really read up more on before going but oh wells.. tired, long day of ssm ahead tomorrow!

The paediatric stethoscope in raspberry is extremely tempting! all the junior doctors have that.. maybe i should get it in the classic lithium.. haha safer in case i do not get to do paediatrics in the future! Yes, quite bimbotic..

Argh, presentation thingy for dermatology next week as well gahh i just can't wait for electives.. been planning it with my sis too, the travelling etc :) looks like i will be going to philidelphia, ny and washington before my electives and then head to ny, toronto and then staying around chicago for a bit after. fingers crossed, boston will come true..

I think with iphones, the computer becomes less and less necessary! Haha.. It's like an all-in - one device.
Nowadays, i hardly even go on msn cause i can use whatsapp to do the same and there is facebook etc. It's taking over the world. One day during lectures last week we realized that the whole row had iphones and the row in front as well and during breaks you see everyone playing angry birds! I am getting hooked onto that as well! It's really quite fun though you got to think about the various trajectories etc. (oh gosh.. physics!)

I am looking forward to the electives :) everyone looks like they're having so much fun!

Starting paediatrics proper tomorrow and we have two on calls next week, looks to be a long week! Hopefully my love for paediatrics will be re-kindled? :)

The weather this weekend has been good :) Makes me happy! I think maybe if the UK always had nice sunny days i may have considered staying! Last weekend i went with louisa to stratford upon avon and it was nice walking down quaint shops venturing into shops and having cream tea! Ahh love lazy weekends, we woke up super late everyday and slept quite early too.. Making up for all the lack of sleep during the weekdays.

So many things to settle, so little time!

Hello :)

Today was a sad day! Got signed off for O&G at GSTT
And i realized it's probably the last time ever in my medical student life being posted there *sigh*
Love that place to bits! It's so convenient from my house and to everywhere else for that matter and i love the new shops there too :) King's next and king's has nothing for lunch etc.. blehs... oh wells! what to do.. haha

Anyway, besides missing GSTT, I think i am going to miss O&G a lot! :(
This is really been such an enjoyable rotation! Career option number two definitely.
It's good to talk to people in the career and find out the pros, cons and how your personality/strengths/weaknesses can fit into it all haha for me.. i think surgery is the biggest barrier when it comes to O&G so we'll keep that in mind and hmm see how things go with the next rotation! Hopefully i will get a subinternship in obstetrics for my electives. Sounds quite exciting even with two night calls a week!

Scary thought number two.. this year has passed so fast that apparently after the next rotation we're supposedly learnt everything we need to learn in med school.. year 5 is just brushing up on practical skills for med/surg/GP but all the core knowledge we've supposedly acquired.. haha.. somehow..

I have a million things to do :( Sigh... the next few weeks are going to be really busy!!
Going to Paris disneyland next weekend as well. Luckily, there's Monday to slack before the lectures begin once again..
Ok time to go try and work on my elective portfolio

Hello :)

Yesterday was my last day, i was so tired i came home and slept from 9 plus till like 8 this morning!
I think i am down with a bug.. my eyes have been giving me problems and i have been having mega headaches ughs
Haven't done much work this week although the exams are coming up and this is bad.. blehs, feel rather unprepared!! :( And there is still the elective portfolio to do etc... I think fourth year is rather stressful :(
On a happier note, my ssm for next term got approved, yay! Load off my mind :)
Sighs, really not looking forward to going back, but then again, i will be back in six weeks time
And i'm coming back for christmas too and will be in america for 10 weeks, ahhh hope everything passes really quickly
I cannot wait to come back for good! Hehe..
Gr.. i cannot believe three weeks have passed by so quickly.. I want to stay at home forever! Haha..

Helloo
Having an explosive headache :( Ughhs..
Haven't been doing much work over the weekend but oh wells
Ate a lot :) Am contented with all the food.. feel like a pig though
I just went to check the weather forecast for London and things are looking up
The temperature seems to be creeping up to around 15 and the sun sets around 6 pm.. yay
Hoping to catch up on studying during the week off there but i will still need to go in to get signed off and there is still the community study day hmmm :(
Trying to plan my week and start gathering stuff to be packed..
Ahh.. how time flies! :(

Hello :)

Grand round today was quite fun :)
Went for the IT fair and got my mum her new lap top as well
It was so crowded and the lap top stuff was super heavy in the end i just gave up and cabbed back home
Going out for dinner with my parents tonight
Hmm and hoping to go running in a bit before it starts raining
Haven't been doing much work these days, i keep wasting time :/ ah wells.. but i am happy haha
Today, i was just thinking why i am happy in Singapore
And i think it's simply because everything is familiar and it's so much friendlier
Like the friends i've made in one week with the other medical students etc
You just have so much more in common to talk about, basically you can be yourself and they're very nice to hang around with :)
The nurses and doctors are very nice too and like everywhere you walk you'll see a familiar face, stop for a chat etc.
Very different!
Ok then, am off :) Ohhh i did some shopping today and i reserved more stuff for the weekend yay
Lunch with the grandparents tomorrow and dinner with everyone on tuesday :)
Sounds good!
Am off!

was talking to the gms students and they told me how dr t was telling them that this year o&g speciality training places were going at 6-8 applicants to one spot whilst paediatrics was under-subscribed.. hmm weird..

Ughhhh
Pissed off..
Oh wells!

Hello :):)

Back in Singapore at the moment.
Tired but very happy :)
The highlight of the day as been delivering two babies on my own :p
Was quite stressed doing the repair though, my hands were like shaking ahhhh
I felt incompetent at that moment but luckily, got the hang of it all quickly and managed to do it like properly knowing what i was doing after the first 2-3 stitches. I was not even expecting to have to do it in the first place! Lol.. cause i thought he said i can do it after Monday where we're going for the course on it.
Anyway.. I think i thrive in such a learning environment where people are shocked when you don't know things, are critical etc it's challenging and it kinda motivates me in a way. In UK quite often are more politically correct i guess, most usually just praise you even when sometimes you know you did not do an awesome job or know a lot etc. But down here in clinics they really like grill you and it makes me wanna work hard so i can answer questions etc cause you will be frowned upon if not.. or they will like feedback it or something.
I like the environment too.. being able to have my kopi peng n fishball noodles for breakfast every morning and hot food for lunch in the kopitiam :) It's definitely a big plus point.
Wheeeeee :)
Ok i need to study for tomorrow's clinic.. apparently the doctor is strict oops but i have been kinda caught up in stuff since coming home today and my SIM card decided not to work.. grr so now i need to use my dad's and i kinda lost the prof's number and err i am scared to tell him hahaha cause he told me to note it down on the first day! oops.. shall call the secretary and ask tomorrow.

The weather is super crappy ughs
Raining the whole day :/
Looking forward to going back to Singapore on friday but a lot to things to settle before then
Next week looks busy but good :)
Tomorrow i'm going to go for a nice meal with my sis to celebrate her 21st birthday
On Sunday we have Whui's early birthday celebration at a french restaurant near covent :)
Thursday there is sam's sister's bday dinner
Ohh, looks like a lot of good food planned :):)
Hope everyone had a good chinese new year!
I'm still confused as to paeds/o&g and uk/singapore :(
Anyway, i still have about seven more months to ponder over that..

Yesterday i was on call with this really nice consultant who took so much time out to teach us and criticise us like constructively.. rare opportunity and..
I got to do this ultrasound scan for this lady and tell her she was 12 weeks pregnant.. Super cool
I did not even trust myself to do the scan but my consultant was convinced that it was something brainless
So off i go put the jelly and probe (the right way he explained the physics behind it first of course)
And wow this fetus appears on the screen and it was an amazing experience
Especially when the lady was so happy she teared i was in such amazement i wanted to tear too and after that i was talking to the other girl on call and she felt the same way too lol.. amazing stuff :) I loved the gynae on call, great experience!
And then off i went hunting for the hear beat in the right plane etc
Very interesting stuff :):)
Ahh thinking of applying to do paediatric and adolescent obs and gynae for 4 weeks of my elective
It's been such a long long week with 12 hour days, but i am :):) tired but rewarding week hehe
Giving myself a lie in tomorrow morning and then going in for the afternoon since that ends at 7 pm anyway hehe
Friday will be spent in Croyden on the community study day.
Chinese New Year is coming up this weekend, but the atmosphere isn't festive at all!
Miss Chinese New Year back home..
I was just telling someone ( i cannot remember who.. i must be getting old haha) that we need to apply for jobs next year and then i realized it's not next year but this year..
Scary stuff!! Still undecided.. Funny thing is that when i did an o&g attachment in 2nd year i remember telling myself how it's definitely not something for me, but now, i find myself loving it more and more :) Maybe sometimes the second time is better haha i remember like the first time i went to paris i thought it was ok, not bad but not how i expected it to be after all the hype, but the second time i went, i loved it :) All the nice sidewalk cafes, food etc.. Hmm second choice of specialty?

i have learnt many things in this rotation.. (like non-medical)
1. Marriage has become an outmoded institution in this country
2. Many kids are having children when they themselves need taking care of
3. Like the obstetrician said during lecture.. we're saving a lot of babies that wouldn't have survived in the past.. this makes obstetricians happy (that the baby survived).. but the implications that these babies don't go on to have normal lives.. this has resulted in a lot of children now living with learning/behavioural problems, cerebral palsy.. etc. (studies have shown they have IQs of 50 points below average)
And i can definitely attest to that being in a developmental paediatric clinic and having parents with behavioural/learning problems just break down and cry cause they cannot handle their children/ the shame etc. So at the end of the day.. we save lives.. or do we really just create problems for other people to deal with? Hmm..

Tiredness kills
Haha.. Took a break from school today!
Been a super busy week with a lot of teaching n clinics etc didn't help that the weekend was spent on birth centre on call
Enjoyed myself though at times it got kinda boring (involves a lot of waiting)
But after you see the pain women go through to give birth.. haha don't think i want to!
Even having an epidural isn't foolproof. If the baby is in the wrong position you get very painful pressure that even an epidural cannot ease.. and in the UK you cannot opt for a caesarian section unless you have a medical reason for doing so.. hmm
But then again.. c sections aren't much better.. you suffer the pain later on!
I my favourite moment of the weekend was after the c section with the woman i was sitting for like 8 hours with previously and then taking the baby, wrapping it up and cuddling it and then presenting it to the dad and seeing the tears in his eyes.. was so sweet..
It's been extremely cold these days
Yesterday i was so exhausted i slept for 12 hours straight! Oops.. hehe
Ok long day ahead tomorrow.. bye!
Looking forward to meet ups this weekend :)
I cannot believe it has been less than a month since i've been back in London
It seems like forever..

I just remembered something that was sam's status a few months back
"i wish i were back in kindergaten when the most difficult decision of the day was which crayon colour to use..'
somedays.. you wish you were just a lil kid with no worries
the future is a scary thing..

hmm what a conundrum
it's been running through my head all afternoon
ah wells, let life sort itself out.. haha

today the stupid bus driver refused to let me off the bus
despite my sis banging on the door, me pressing the stop button and people yelling at him.. idiot..
In the end had to run from british library to euston w my sister's luggage so that she will make her train on time
luckily she did :)

It's supposed to have been snowing all day long but i've only seen flurries here and there when i look out of the window
Yawn.. i love frosties :) they make my day..
Week of lectures next week blehs!

Hello
Back in London
Yes, cold and miserable London..
It seems like the shorter your hols get, the more you treasure them
This hols was really good, slacking and spending quality time with people who matter :)
Leaving never gets any easier :(
Whilst trying to sleep on the plane the tears just wouldn't stop..
I think the person next to me must have thought i must be crazy..
Sighs.. My flu decided to flare up too
So been spending most of my time in hibernation.. hoping the flu will go away
Oh wells.. hopefully the cold will go away and things will start looking up soon
In times like this, I wonder how i could even consider working anywhere but home
There's no where like home..
Sister is arriving tomorrow morning :)
Today i went to sainsbury and bought 30 pounds worth of food to stock up
My area is so snowy + icy walking is dangerous and slippery..
So i thought it would be wise to fill the fridge
o&g timetable looks rather packed..

caught the princess and the frog today


sweet song :)

2009 has passed us by
Each year seems to whizz by quicker than the previous
But at the end of the day, it's been 365 days

Guess it's because we're all caught up in the 'busy-ness' of it all that time just flies
2009 started with the first new year ever spent out of singapore
I think it has been a year filled with many ups and downs
But through it all, i know God has been there
And sometimes just trusting in his sovereignty is something i must strive to do more
I think third year was one year that towards the end became way too long
Made me weary and tired, in one of those 'i totally lost my drive' moments
I remember the stress etc which just drove me to tears
But at the end of the day, i am thankful for the constants in my life :)
For encouraging me and reminding to just give my best and leave the rest to God.
It seems like now we're all grown up and everyone is looking to their future, planning etc
Sometimes that scares me, sometimes it's exciting..
2010 is the going to be the year i apply for jobs etc
And hmm life-changing decisions to be made etc

Everyone's growing up so fast
You hear of friends getting engaged and married
But i'm still studying, living the life of a student
But you see your friends grow up and take on the role of adults
It's amazing how much more mature they are..
Maybe leaving behind university life and life circumstances force you to grow up

It's funny how when i was young i used to think being 20 was so old.. haha
But it's true, everyone agrees then now we can't study till so late anymore
No more energy left anymore..

Anyway, happy new year everyone :)
May 2010 bring forth much happiness!

I detest ironing
I have a million boxes to fit into my luggage and it doesn't seem to be working..
Sighs today was such an awfully cold day!
And the area the community study was in wasn't great.. blehs one of those places you feel very scared walking down the streets
But oh wells, with the term done and dusted
It's time to look forward to home :):):)
Been waiting for this day for a long time

It's been a good term overall.
I guess when you are open to possibilities and i guess keeping an open mind about being posted to kings n all helped
And i enjoyed myself thoroughly :)
Guess when you seek out opportunities you do find them.
The ortho/rheumatology part of it was so-so
Good teaching but kinda slow paced i guess
A&E was the highlight of the rotation
Learnt so much from those late nights
Anaesthetics was fun in it's own way..
Year four rotations are so different from year three cause just when you're getting the hang of things, you're whisked off to another speciality and you're kinda expected to know everything about the rotation you've just spent only 3 weeks doing..
I wished we had longer to explore each speciality.. but that's life.. :) You can't get everything you want!

Electives is proving to be quite stressful. Decisions.. decisions..
Between prestigious name vs good experience etc etc and fast reply vs can only apply in a long time
Sigh...

Thankful that i am going for three weeks :) Going to kota kinabalu sometime next week as well.
This year is going to be great! Going home in March and May as well :) Such trips keep me going.

Ok then, time to stop procrastinating and time to go and pack.
I think the next two terms are going to be very busy ones.
Have quite a few things to settle and plan etc
But hopefully rewarding :)

Probably won't update much till i have back here in London

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 2010! :):):):)

I tried fixing a light bulb today
And then it ended up shattering and i was left with a difficult mess to clean up!
Grrr will probably need to vacuum again tomorrow just to make sure all the lil bits are gone cause it fell from high so everything is everywhere :/ I am so smart.. sighs!

I cannot wait for christmas :)

Drinking coffee from my red starbucks mug makes me happy :)
The christmas mug is nice! Hehe
I need to wake up earlier though, i wake up in time for lunch :(
So much to do.. so little motivation!

I love anaesthetics :)

I got to put a patient under GA today, under close supervision of course and just followed all the instructions the consultant was giving hehe. Armed with propofol, i am happy! Still trying to better the BVM with one hand technique. Ohh i love hands on stuff :) But sometimes i feel bad cause i take so much time.. like the anaesthetist can probably cannulate someone in 5 s i take a few minutes looking and then making sure before going for the vein etc.

Pain is such a subjective thing. When people are just about to go for surgery, the pain from cannulation is nothing to them, in fact they don't even care/flinch one bit. It's weird though cause in the A&E when you try cannulating you get grown man shouting and cursing at you etc.. haha I guess when you're about to have your op you're a lot more anxious about other stuff than a silly needle.. Which actually goes to show that a lot of the pain we perceive is psychological..

On wednesday, my computer and printer both died. It was so irritating i had to call both helplines and get it fixed. BUT by the evening, my printer died AGAIN (somehow mac does not support it well i think) so i tried everything and i just couldn't sleep thinking of ways to fix it.. i feel so disabled without my printer. I am literally well and truly frustrated. I will call them tomorrow morning and hopefully get it fixed and sorted this time round. Sighs. If not i will pull all my hair out soon.. for three hours last night i kept trying everything i could think of, read every online discussion about the printer n snow leopard i could think of.. blehs. Maybe installing snow leopard wasn't such a good thing after all... HOWWWWWW the wait till the morning is agonizing. Sometimes i wish i had better IT trouble shooting skills. Sighs. I just tried re-installing my snow leopard.. but it still doesn't seem to work.. save me!

Anaesthetics now..
It's good cause you get to do stuff like go on your own to do the pre-op and explain to the patient etc
And i felt so important especially when you go to the ward to see the patient and she's so anxious
Wanting you to explain the options for anaesthetics etc haha kinda feel like a real doc?
And then you go to the OT and discuss with the anaesthetist and plan for what method to use etc yay :)
The only problem would be... waking up at 530 AM :(
That's very terrible.. i will not survive for long
Luckily it's a short posting!!

Ohhh i felt quite stupid today.. i got shot questions throughout the op
And there were so many things i realized i am so clueless about!
And the worst part is that you can't hind behind "I'm just a third year medical student.." anymore
When you say you're fourth year.. people just look at you expecting so much more!
So much that sometimes i feel like telling me i am only at the beginning of fourth year! :/
But then.. i guess there is just tons to learn..
So much more to learn to be a good doc :)

I am on an adrenaline high :)
Today was heart thumpingly good!!
Ahh i love paeds :)
And.. i love A&E.. never thought i would
I would talk about the amazing stuff i saw today but hmm patient confidentiality beckons.. :)

You know you've been in the hospital too much when you come home log into facebook and see a picture and think oh gosh that person has nice veins to cannulate... haha

i love A&E

The only bad thing is that sometimes you feel rather incompetent for not doing stuff properly and being unable to do things, but i guess it's all part of the learning curve. Or when everyone is rushing around you and you stand there in the middle of the busy department waiting for your patient etc..

The long hours and no meal breaks i don't mind really.. haha. Cause when you're on your feet all the time (yes your feet will hurt like crap) you don't feel it.. There's the adrenaline rush each time the red phone or trauma call sounds when rush over into resus... it's only when you finally decide to go home for the night you sit down on the way home and then you're enveloped with the tiredness..

Paeds A&E next week :) I think i'm going to miss majors/resus..

Planning electives is such a drag

It was initially fun, but now it's just tedious and such a chore

Spend so much time everyday looking for info on stuff, trying to get things arranged..

I think there is something about the shorter hours of sunlight that is making me so very tired

Today i fell asleep during the last rheumatology lecture for a bit and then when i got on the tube i slept all the way home.. haha

Going to warwick tomorrow

Hope it'd be a good break :) Funny thing is that i don't even know why i need a break, its not exactly that i've been working hard.. maybe its just the whole waking up really early to get to KCH that just kills me yawn...

I calculated i need to wake up one hour earlier when i am at kings compared to guys/tommies :(

I think rheumatology is interesting haha

Probably cause of the disease spectrum here though

Everyone's thinking about the future now

Job prospects, specializing etc

Life decisions.. i choose to put them on hold till next year

Anyway probably just apply to both and decide at the end

I really want to go home to live in the comforts of home and be able to come back to food and a nice clean house etc and being close to family is :)

On the other hand, working here is more interesting cause the disease spectrum is so wide and the chances to specialize in paediatrics is higher (4 applicants per place.. don't think you'll ever find that in singapore)

We'll come to this next year.. :)

On the other hand, planning my elective at the moment

It's been quite troublesome getting all the paperwork done etc and i had to do a mantoux test and now i need to go and find out how to get a chest x ray done as well

Hope i really will get to go to america though

I'm sure it'd be an amazing experience judging from what people write on the elective abstract system :)

They said you work from like 6-10 pm or like 4-10 kinda thing.. but i guess i don't mind if it's interesting! Haha.. It's so competitive though, so keeping my fingers crossed!

Ok then.. off to go change for church.

I hate the silly tube not working, it's so irritating

Went for a mantoux injection today and it hurt :/

It just occurred to me that i don't mind sticking needles into people but i don't like people putting needles into me..

Anyway.. been super sian today

Just thinking about how to approach the matter is driving me up the wall

I think i always end up in such situations cause i don't like voicing out my opinions

Oh wells, shall sleep on it and see if i wake up tomorrow with better ideas.. haha

And it just dawned on me that although it has been 4 weeks into the rotation, we have clerked a total of 1 patient (what?)

Between clinics and theatre i guess there's not much time for much else.

A million things to do

I hate all the admin for electives

It is really a pain :/ takes up so much time reading through all the courses and picking etc

It isn't as simple as just choosing the specialty cause every speciality has many modules

Cross my fingers and hope that i will get my elective at the end of the day

Yawn.. early start tomorrow

This is bad

I've been sleeping way too much :/

Every day i wake up thinking i have a lot to do

And then i end up falling asleep

And then ahhh now i have a lot of crap to do!

From today, i will no longer take any naps

I don't seem to wake up from them :(

And i should sleep less

11/12 hours is just.. crazy

Yawnnn

Having a backache (the signs of aging..) haha

I made banana cake today :) Yay and it's quite nice!

I should really read up more but somehow my energy/motivation is rather low at the moment

I waste most of my days away, eventhough today i did not go in intending to use my time wisely.. oh wells :/

I officially need to find some motivation to read up on ortho + anatomy :/

I waste most of my waking hours away and sleep early cause er still jet lagging i guess

And then go to school.. Yawns

Looking forward to A&E though, but somehow, i feel like i've forgotten a lot of things already! I think the other two will be better though, o&g and paeds.

On the brighter side, planning my elective is exciting and i am really looking forward to it :)

I haven't decided what i want to do just yet. Erring on the side of caution cause i do not trust my own abilities. Doing trauma in the US may turn out to be well.. traumatic? But then again.. it could be a great learning experience! Hmm.. decisions!! A lot of admin to settle before going as well..

I waste so much time everyday. Like an amazing amount of time. I wonder how people used to survive without computers or the internet.

One week has passed us by and i have hmm hardly learnt anything! :( Hopefully my brain will start picking up next week!!

The holidays have been flying by way to quickly
Don't want to go back to London - the cold, winter, the dreary long days, the tube..
On the brighter side, two more years!! ahhh i can't wait :)

Thank you God for so much more than i could ever ask for :)

Heyyy
I am quite dead cause i have hardly touched the book since osces
Cause i have no motivationn :/ Haha Oh wells, i will force myself to study in a bit

Yesterday i did not feel like studying so i ran to sainsburys and there had so much on sale :) I ended up coming back with so much stuff. Stocked up on brain food as well, salmon, cod, halibut and lemon sole.. haha (too much fish!)

Waiting for online deliveries make my day :)
Okies then, time to go psych myself into doing some work ahh
This always happens to me! I always get to sian of studying before the exams :( Oh wells!

Ohhhh and there is so much swine flu going around here, I am actually scared of getting it on the tube. Everyone that sneezes etc gets shunned like the plague..

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

there is just so much i want to say...

There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some better endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo.
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
When life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
And everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should have taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
And everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

And all the things that break you,
Are the things that make you strong!
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone.
And you just gotta move on,
Because it's all
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
From everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
From every change, life has thrown me.
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Lessons learned.
Lessons learned.

Heyyy

Going back to London for good on sunday :)
It's been a good experience here at the DGH
Slightly sad to leave, worried about exams, at the same time just want them to be over
Today was a sad clinic, i saw so many people cry
Had to tell one lady she had cancer
so couldn't look into her eyes :/
To tell someone they have colorectal cancer is kinda like giving them a death sentence you knowww :/ especially if its met to the lung.. its like saying.. i think its time for you to get your affairs in order and then take one step at a time :((

I need to work a lot harder.. sigh :/ so behind my schedule!

how apt

Feeling very emo after a "life talk" by our consultant

It was our last session with him cause most of the consultants will be on summer break soon :/

We've grown up
Learnt that with growing up means that somewhere along the line you stop functioning as an individual
The decisions you make influence the people around you
But in the midst of the complexity of all the decisions you make
You gotta still fight for your dreams

Today's been such an emo day :/
First met a patient who lost a baby after trying for 2 years. The frustration and pain and disappointment, failure towards her significant other.. when she broke down just there.. i could feel her pain and how she felt about not just letting herself down but her husband as well after he got so excited after kinda accepting that after two years they won't be able to conceive. I was trying to hard to hold back tears and i was sitting right smack eye to eye with her crying so bad..

Then, found out a young patient whom we had met before had died.. That seems to happen quite a lot here. But this guy deteriorated before our eyes in like 3 weeks. Our consultant was talking to us about death and accepting death and how sad it was for like the young families with so much to look forward too.. everyone just looked away fighting back tears.

The sweetest, most obliging and good people sometimes suffer and die young.. why? That's the story of life. It's not how long you live for, but the impact you make on the lives of others around you that matters. At times like these, i am glad that we have eternity in christ.

oh and another thing that the consultant in clinic said that struck me today is that sometimes, even though you're crumbling on the inside, you gotta be strong and stop the tears from falling cause the patient is looking to you as a pillar of strength and if you breakdown as well, they are left with nothing. They need to know that although everything around them is falling apart, you're not going to make things better, but you're going to be there with them through that journey till the end. You're going to hold their hard through it all.

Yawn, it's so so very hot here (just like singapore)
The only problem is that they don't have aircon here so it's like a burning furnace :/
Hard to work in such heat! Go to the air con firm room sometimes but its scary at night especially walking back or going to the toilet around there at night :(

6 more weeks till this year draws to a close :) You know it's weird how exams don't really seem to be drawing that close cause the timetable goes on like it usually does etc.. scary!

I miss going to church!

Funny how everyone starts third year on a high note, filled with excitement
And now everyone is just plain sian cause its dragging way too long
Can't wait for it to end and go onto fourth year which seems a lot more interesting cause its specialities :)
i sit here and think.. sigh! i can't wait to graduate. haha.

Shopping this afternoon :) I live for weekends.

Wheee :) The weekend is here!
Its off to london, bicester and warwick :)
Ahhhhh outta this place! Can't concentrate on anything
Been here for wayyy too long haha
Anyway it's been such an interesting week
And somehow met so many patients with mental health issues
And just seeing how happy they are to talk about their problems
Then every time you see them on the ward they will wanna talk to you
It's just rewarding cause you know just maybe an hour of your time
Probably made a big difference to them
Cause they're lonely and no one else is going to sit there and listen to their life failures etc. And.. grown men do cry awww

Today was so cool
Ran along side the resus patient from the ward to ITU to be intubated cause i had to pump the oxygen thingy throughout the 'journey'. Sorry i don't know the name of that thing.. haven't learnt much about resus apart from today cause i haven't done my emergency medicine posting yet. Amazing how everyone in the corridor parts for you and its like what you see in greys with everyone running!! (Just that i got stuck at some doors and would miss my 6s squeeze and the other guy pushing the bed had to do it haha (They should make corridors wider)
And heels are not good for such running around
But my adrenaline was pumping :)
Now i am just so sleepy haha
Been a long exciting day

Hello!!

All alone in margate this weekend but its good. Watched lil miss sunshine and the great british menu finals yesterday after grand rounds and today i will go walk the shops to get some food and er hopefully window shop? haha

It's really hot though, boiling in the room. But i prefer the hot to the cold anytime. :)

Congenital heart diseases is where my passion lies i decided or rather realized. When the spR brought us to see this guy with Eisenmenger's syndrome and we were discussing it, it made me realized how interesting congenital heart diseaes are. Made my day!

I love playing spot the difference. I believe it increases your observation skills, it really does! :) It makes your eyes really tired though.

Ok back to work, i don't like the kidney. You think you know all about it and its so ughhh confusing, makes we want to sleep everytime i look at the diseases, cause you just have to think so much about how the different stuff are regulated. ughs. i miss cardiology, but we get a bit of everything here so it's good. We saw osler's nodes last week :) we were all like WOW and then apologized to the patient for gushing over them cause we hadn't seen them before haha. But he was nice :)

Last week we had a lot of good teaching. I guess that's the difference here when the SpRs spend like 4 hours just bringing us to see patients, watching us examine, then going through important history, investigations, management for each case. It's a lot of general medicine but good cause like even though they question you a lot, you can just get it all wrong and they'll explain. Like if they don't have time to finish teaching you cause you have to rush for something else they'll tell you to come back to the ward later when you have time cause they felt they haven't taught you throughly enough! hehe.

Ok yawnnnn the kidneys beckon
Yay, my parents are coming to London next weekend, looking forward to next weekend :) Can't believe six weeks here have passed so quickly, really doesn't feel like it!

Hello :)

Just had a very nice dinner of garlic scallops and fishcakes :) Loved the scallops! And we made a fruitcake too.

It's so sad when you see everyone ending all their exams or graduating and realize you're going to be stuck here for a long long more time :/ I want to graduate!!

Went down to london last weekend and it was a crazy weekend rushing here and there meeting up with people and with the silly jubilee line down, but a weekend well spent, relaxed, went out and ate good food.

I can't wait for the end of this academic year. It's been going on for way way too long. I think everyone just feels rather jaded now. Lots of work to do! But i have been wasting my whole afternoon away just cause i don't have any motivation to do any work. Hehe.

Yay, my parents will be in London next next weekend, looking forward to that :) I live for weekends. :)

Omg it's been ages since i've blogged
It's been a busy month!!
Everyone should watch greys!! It was so good today
So touching!! :)
Anyway, i'm in margate at the moment and it's really nice here
And the countryside is really pretty :)
On wednesday we went for a drive round the coast on our way back from ashford where we went for our pathology and therapeutics lectures
So we saw dover, deal and sandwich bay and it was niceee :) The coast was really scenic and on the other side you get the rolling green fields, sometimes yellow mustard fields and lots of cute lambs!! Haha
There's quite a lot of work to do here though. But it's good cause teaching here is good :)
We're going to make lemon tart and scones this weekend, living the country life :)

Birthday was good too :) Ate soooo much though! Went to claridges with my sister on saturday and then on sunday had a nice surprise lunch at imperial china and nice hummingbird cake! Thank you all so much :) And then after that had four seasons with sam's family and my sis in the evening.

Ok.. time to go make dinner, salmon is on the menu tonight! :)

it's been a never ending term
but sad to say today as jia and i walked round st thomas and the surrounding area
we realized it was our second last day there
i'm going to miss st thomas :( been there for six whole months!
but then again life is about leaving things behind and moving on

this week has been a good week
had lunch with some of the kings people on wed and it reminded me of the first two years when we used to go to macs for lunch
just that now we've all kinda grown up, been through crap and well basically just a lot more serious

i miss home a lot. i really wish i had HOME to look forward to. nothing can replace home.. sigh!

my sentiments, exactly
it's been a long 12 weeks

Yawns i am so knackered from nearly 12 hours of school
And tomorrow is going to be another day
but ahh still gotta study cause now its clinics and we get shot a lot of questions
Today was at the allergy clinic and didn't know how to answer so many questions about immunology its just something like stuck in the deep recesses of my brain (hopefully) felt quite bad for having to day i have no idea cause the prof asked questions for hours he practically gave us like a whole tutorial on it all.

Yay i think next year i will join HTBStudents i didn't realize quite a lot of people go there. Quite a few of the imperial people! Had previously just heard about it from suelynn.

Was talking to like quite a few members of my old small group throughout the week and what really struck us was that we really missed the kind of sharing and support we used to have. It's so different from this year. It was a lot more personal where like everyone came forth and like shared about all their deepest darkest fears/personal problems/weaknessness and like we would pray about it together. Where we would work through people's problems together as a group. I am really quite amazed at how like even though at the beginning of the year there were problems and differences to be settled looking back, it was truly an amazing experience of genuine christian fellowship where everyone was a part of each other's lives in some way or another. Where even though everyone had different views, temperaments, values etc no one judged. I just realized i can link it to hospital life (gasppsss) its like having an MDM haha where you share your problems and different people with different specialities share their views on things haha.

You know i just love it when you talk to patients in their last days and then you see their eyes just light up when they tell you about their families. It makes you all feel warm and fuzzy. I totally agree with all of them when they tell of the importance of family and how thats all they need in life. At the end of the day, blood is always thicker than water. Was talking to my older sis quite long ago we said we think we'll like cry on each others wedding so she refused to sing a song for meee lol

Ok i should stop procrastinating and get to work