Remembering my 2nd little one

I guess it is fated that I will never see you born.
I can remember clearly the day I suspected you were conceived.
I was full of joy when for the first time, the home test results showed positive immediately.
Little M needed at least 4 home test before I confirmed (but then I didn't use clear blue immediately)

I remember thinking God is kind because I really wanted you.
I knew of your presence near my birthday and think you were my birthday gift from God.
I knew you were different because I got headaches and evening nausea.
I knew you were firm and decisive when you made me puke specific food that you didn't like.

Only picture I have of you....

I kept track of what you liked and what you didn't.
Orange juice was out.
And so was Chattime tea.
Beef was okie this round, and so were most meat.

Nursing M was painful but I wanted you both to still be close to me
M acted up because of you
But I thought when you were borne,
He would understand you.

We wish you well in heaven with God. Even though we wanted you here to play with your brother, God has other plans for you. We shall remember you in our hearts; even though it was brief, you brought us so much joy and happiness too. We believe we will see you someday too.

Love,
Your mummy, daddy and brother M.

****

¹³ Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. ¹⁴ For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. ¹⁵ According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. ¹⁶ For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. ¹⁷ After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. ¹⁸ Therefore encourage one another with these words.
(1 Thessalonians 4:13-18)

Development milestones with Toys

Was supposed to do mini post to keep a journal of Matthew's progress but have been swamped with work and lack of sleep. Here are some highlights to remind me in future.

4 Months 3 weeks
Matthew amazed me when I left him in the playpen to play by himself while I had my breakfast of pancakes.

I bought him Fisher Price kick piano sometime back and he loves kicking to the music. Usually when he was 4 months below, we would place the piano at the base of the playpen for him to kick. Now as he is older, we put it at his right side to encourage his hands to touch the keypad. Instead, he usually curls up his leg up to kick it. So that day, he was only kicking the keypad "D" and "E" which is at his waist level. "A", "B" and "C" was higher up his waist which can only be reached by hands.

Hence, I casually showed him to use his palms to press the "B" and "C" then went back to the dining table to have my pancakes. So I heard the sound "D - donkey" and "E - elephant" for a few times. Suddenly I heard "B- bear" and "C-cat". I was so amazed and proud of my son at that moment. He picked up from one demonstration. :D

I was hoping he will use hands too to touch the key pad instead of only kicking with his feet and he has managed to pick up the cues. However, this phase will soon pass when he wants to explore other toys. 

It is cute to see that whenever he is happy, he will kick his leg to indicate so... :) I attribute it to getting this toy for him to associate happiness and music whenever he kicks. In my opinion, this is a good investment. Compared to the newer kick piano like Precious Planet, this has 3 modes of music. This retails at RM149.90 in major departmental stores like Aeon Jusco. (Will do a review in future as I think it's worth talking about this toy.)

4 months 4 weeks
Matthew has found his feet by putting them into his mouth. Before this, he found his fingers and would stare intently at the fingers as if noticing them for the first time. Now his flexibility to curve up his legs to his mouth amazes me. Of course, he still uses his legs to grab stuff eg books I try to read to him and his play gym.

I am thankful that the toys I bought during pregnancy is used and enjoyed by my son now. For example, this Fisher Price playgym is his favourite activity pre-bath time. We lay him on his back (minus the yellow cloth which is a bit warm) and he will grab the dangling toys. At this stage, he has even curl up his legs to try to kick down the toys so parents supervision is a must. We usually put heavier pillows at the base to prevent the playgym from moving. Another good toy to amuse my son.

5 months
Matthew doesn't like tummy time. He will turn over (either himself or by us) for a few minutes before crying in protest. However, recently he cheekily turns over if we put him on the playgym too long as if he is telling us "I'm bored. I want to go elsewhere".

Simple Dimple playgym which retails at RM79.90 (not really recommended to use over playpen because the green curvy arches are not very padded and the steel inside will fling straight easily)

Hence, as read in some websites, I use toys to lure him to turn over towards the toys. His favourite are  Lamaze PeekaBoo Clutch cube and Sophie the giraffe teether.

What he did surprised my hubby and I. Matthew flip over onto the giraffe and his mouth landed over the giraffe's face. He happily chewed the face while on his tummy.... :)

5 Months 2 weeks
Last weekend, Matthew amazed us by saying "emmm - mahh". He exaggerated and dragged the "emmm" by pursing his lips together. We have not figured out what he wants, but I have noticed is whenever he wants anything (i.e. walk, milk, diaper change), he will say that. If he still doesn't get it, he will start crying.

To date, I am a happy, sleep-deprived mother who is striving to cram as much parenting information she can and trying her best to bring up her son in this world... Thank God for guiding me so far and I hope He continues so with His love.

Disciplining a baby

I always told myself I will not spoil my child. In fact, I remember telling my colleague last time not to spoil his baby because they learn from young.

Last night, I discipline my 3 month old baby for the first time.

Mind you, not physical discipline but by saying "No".

It has been a week since my son goes to the nanny as I have started work. Last weekend, he started being cranky and fussy. He wanted to direct latch with me walking at the same time. When I sat down, he would turn his head to me and cry loudly. I was shocked.. 3 month old baby bullying me! Initially, I relented and he would stop crying.

But somehow, yesterday I felt that he was actually throwing a tantrum and I needed to stop him from doing this.

So when he started getting cranky because he was hungry, I saw and tried to nurse him. He started nursing for a few seconds and then cried... he repeated this a few times and the cries became louder. I persevere and said no... He cried even louder till grandma came to check.

Slowly, I tried to understand and just tried my best to soothe him without standing. Thank God, either it worked or he was too tired and hungry to fought on... he calmed down and nurse quietly.

I thank God that it reminded me to spend more time with my son. I suspected he needed more attention which I wasn't giving him due to getting absorbed back into work and stress. I started making an effort to talk to him longer and play too...

Babies are God's precious present for us to nurture and love. We must never forget time passes by in a blink of an eye ....  then that precious moment when he first smiled at you, gurgled, rolled over or talked will be gone. I sorely miss the time I have with with by staying at home but life goes on as we need money to buy babies stuff.........

Delivery from the Stork

I guess as life progresses, here come simple daily surprises... :)

I'm off to the next stage of life before being a wife for long. The stork will be delivering a baby to me next... :)

Thank God so far despite some up and downs, my dear baby is growing well and healthy. I'm about to start getting a little excited preparing the day my baby arrives. I've started consulting my mother friends for list-to-do and buy... :) I've even started feeling my stomach to feel my baby inside of me... Can't wait to hold you even though I've never really had any experience with babies!! (A little terrified of handling a newborn!!)

Here is my little prayer to my baby...

My dear child... I hope mummy and daddy can do and provide the best for you. We wish you a safe delivery and hope that you'll grow up well with all the love and discipline we can give you. We wish God will always protect you and you will always remember Him. We pray you will learn to be God-fearing and with all the crazy technologies and "advancement", you will grow up maturely and wisely. We pray you won't have get bullied in school, too many heartbreaks by future partners and get conned into something you know you should do. We pray we will not worry too much and you will not worry us either. But whatever it is, we just pray for your safety into this world. :)

Luv,
Daddy and Mummy
11.10.12