Category Archives: insemination

February 25, 2008 · 1:39 pm

babymaking crazy style!

Heh. So much for thinking I might be insem’ing a wee bit early, if at all, this month. Sitting at home, alone, yesterday afternoon I decided to do a OPK test, just in case. I’d done one on Saturday night but it was very clearly negative so I wasn’t thinking much about this one.

It was, of course, a very strong, very clear, very dark POSITIVE. On CD 12. I don’t usually ovulate until CD15. Eek. Ducks was uncontactable. KD was uncontactable. Eek.

Ducks came home later in the evening and called KD. Last night was not a good night for him and we agreed to a morning insem, which I would have to do on my own, today.

Well, I insem’ed in the most manic way possible. Left the house at 8.45. Got caught in horrible traffic on the way to collect the swimmers and what should have been a 7 minute drive turned into a 35 minute drive – during which time I made a Dr’s appointment for 10.15 because that’s all that was available…got home with the swimmers at 9.35. Pee’d. Shot the swimmers up all.on.my.own. Put my legs in the air for 10 minutes. Tilted my pelvis a bit. Tried to give myself an orgasm. Jumped up. Felt a stack of something rush down my leg. Threw on some clothes and ran to the Dr.

So – I’m thinking it was probably a wasted effort, right? I really didn’t give myself enough rest time and I’m pretty sure most of the swimmers ended up swimming back out again. Anyone wanna tell me differently?

The upshot of the whole exercise was that the Dr – who I have never seen before, was young and I think a bit intimidated by me, and was really agreeable and ordered all the blood work I asked for and more! This is a great step forward and I’m thrilled to finally be having my progesterone tested! (and Vit D and prolactin and FSH and LH…and thyroid, again!)

BTW – Dr said to get the tests on CD 21 but I’m thinking that’s the generic day… It’s better to do it 7dpo, right?

Off to get some more free acupuncture to kick off the 2ww.

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Filed under 2ww, acupuncture, insemination, thyroid, ttc

February 22, 2008 · 4:22 pm

Personal Training

I know it’s been another week long hiatus but this isn’t like the last one, truly. I may not have been to the gym in a while but I definitely feel like I’ve run a marathon (which parallels nicely with the lovely marathon metaphors offered to me when I was sad and sorry last week – thanks folks 🙂 ). We’ve been so busy and I’ve been so tired. Last weekend, with much arm twisting from Ducks dad (who is a coffee roaster) we reluctantly agreed to run a coffee cart at the Sustainable Living Festival – I don’t think I’ve ever worked sooooooo hard in my life. There are people who spend their lives going from festival to festival making coffee, my hat goes off to them. 3 x 14hour days standing on concrete…that is damn hard work and I don’t plan on doing it again. Anyway, festival over and without a moment for a breath, I had a horrific submission to get in for my real job this week. No time to recover, no days in-between, no sleep ins – just hit the ground running and don’t stop until it’s over… and thank the stars, today it’s over! I stayed in bed until 9am and have spent the rest of the day trying to shape some semblance of order into this house.

Since the blood started flowing last week I’ve been thinking loads about a plan of attack. I know something isn’t right but I’m also positive it won’t be too hard to fix it. I found an awesome osteopath who is fixing my neck once and for all. She’s so cool and she knows stacks about fertility and specialises in pregnancy and newborns. She agrees with me that despite a good, low, stable TSH reading, I’m still in a bit of thyroid trouble and is pissed off that western medicine can’t see that. I have ridiculously low temps both pre and post ovulation and I’ve gotta get that fixed. I’m positive I’ve got a progesterone problem and so is osteo girl and my TCM friends. I sensed the low progesterone thing a couple of months ago and started myself on vitex at the recommendation of a couple of online folk but I realise now that I’ve gotta stop with all the self diagnosing/prescribing. And I’ve gotta stop with the 17 different modalities of health care. I’ve decided to stick with the acupuncture but lay off the chinese herbs (which osteo girl thinks are sometimes too strong for ttc) and next week I’m going to a fertility naturopath to hear what she makes of this sorry state of affairs. I’m sure she’s going to freak when she hears how much stuff (tinctures, chinese herbs, vitamins, minerals, teas…) I’m taking. I’m also going to go to any doctor I can get into on Monday and demand some hormone testing! Because regardless of what they think, it’s my right to know what’s going on with my body. Yeah.

This has all come about because I had another mini meltdown after the hard weekends work. At my most dramatic I told Ducks that I didn’t even want a baby anymore. At my least dramatic, I was silent for hours which is not like me at all.

Imagine my despair when I realised that our insem dates for this month coincided with our donors partner’s major surgery!!! Once again however, he has proved himself the true star and is happy to make a couple of donations the 2 days prior to the surgery, just not on the day. It might make us a teeny tiny bit early but I’m not too worried. How lucky am I!!???

We’re going to Bali in May and I WILL be pregnant by then. OK.

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Filed under acupuncture, insemination, naturopathy, thyroid, ttc

January 30, 2008 · 11:15 am

Hope

Hope is a magical thing and something that I truly feel with great delight right now. We insem’ed last night amidst lots of laughs and chocolate ice cream and everything felt light and airy and right. We’ll have one more go before the egg pops but I already feel really different and excited about this cycle. I’ve been working very hard at realigning my thoughts and expectations and it seems that my hard work has paid off.

What’s the difference between between getting ones hopes up and being delightedly hopeful? Is there a difference? Right now, I feel like there is. I’m not in the habit of talking myself into being pregnant (my 1st cycle of ttc shook that out of me…) and I don’t feel as though this is me getting my hopes up…I just seem to have greater hope and perhaps even faith (!??! I’m an atheist, aren’t I !??!) that I’m on track and that pregnancy will come, and it will come soon.

I have more to say but I’m at work and fear being caught…so for now, please tell me I’m not setting myself up for a fall!

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Filed under insemination

January 25, 2008 · 5:37 pm

Out of sorts

Despite the quick defusing of my donor related hysteria late last week, I managed to work myself into quite a state and have really only just come down from it.

Partially I think I’m a complete nut job, partially I had my period and partially I think I was a bit sick and those 3 things combined made for me being a royal pain in the ass. There’s been tantrums and tears, sulking and swearing and a helluva lot of hypochondria thrown in for good measure. Ducks has been nothing but supportive and uber-patient and I am once again reminded of how wonderful she is and why I want to co-parent with her.

So, onwards and upwards now. I’m shaping up and doing all I can to make this cycle THE cycle. The house is clean. I’ve been taking my vitamins, minerals and herbs religiously (Yes Barb, I am taking herbs as well as the acupuncture…). I’m practically swimming in tea (of the raspberry leaf and green variety). I’ve been walking lots and I plan on more. I’m enrolling in an 8 week pilates class as soon as I get paid. I’m doing my darnedest to learn to meditate and I have pre and post insem acupuncture already booked.

Here’s hoping I can maintain my zen beyond our insems next Tues and Thurs.

PS. We saw Juno yesterday and I didn’t think it was pro-lifey at all. I actually thought it was a really cute little film and I cannot wait to see what Ellen Page does next. Extra points for the Kimya Dawson / Moldy Peaches soundtrack too!

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Filed under acupuncture, insemination, mood, sanity, ttc

January 18, 2008 · 11:39 am

Shifting Sands

I’ve had so much floating around in my head to blog about but with readjusting to the workers lifestyle, I’ve really not had the mental energy to do it. Of course, all those poignant, super important things I wanted to post about have slipped away from me now but I will try nonetheless to write something interesting…

RE: the Anonymity post –
We really have wonderful friends and I think Sarah was right when she suggested that sometimes letting people in can be a giant leap of faith and a great move! Before she had read the Anonymity post, K (our friend who found us…) and I had one of those really great email conversations that you can only have when you’re at work and supposed to be doing something else. Basically, she said, ‘BTW, I like your blog, I think what you write about is really interesting…’ and I said, ‘oh yeah, about that….’ and told her that I felt self conscious and blah blah blah and I concluded by saying that I felt stacks more comfortable about them reading it now that I’d had time to digest it and think it out. Turns out K totally understood my self consciousness and why we’d kept it quiet and straight away said that she wouldn’t read it anymore and she’d tell M, her partner not to either. In the end, I essentially welcomed them to read but I don’t think they will. (But, if indeed, you are reading – Hi! and welcome!) Nonetheless, it’s been a really interesting process for me – I definitely feel more able to trust our friends with our ‘stuff’ – which is a really great thing.

This TTC thing really does call for way.too.much introspection and personal growth. No one warned me about this.

Re: TTC bits and pieces.

The great news is that I’m bleeding, so I’ve waved goodbye to the month of indulgence and am back on the clean living, baby making wagon. Looks like we’ll insem at the end of the month. This month off has been really great. Over xmas, I ate all the gluten in the world and enjoyed it immensely. (My gut and my skin and my thyroid did not thank me but it is simply too hard to refuse Tiramisu.) I’ve also been drinking WAY more than usual and there was a 10 day period there where I was drunk or almost drunk every night. Of course, I am drunk or almost drunk on anything between 2 and 4 glasses of wine so it’s not like I’m particularly hardcore! It was good for my mental health though and I’m sure that any physical damage I may have done was well and truly countered by my healthier mental state. A month off feeling like a time bomb is a GOOD THING.

Unfortunately, the moment I got my period, the crazy-making was re-ignited and I’ve developed a ridiculous hysterical fear of our donor pulling out of the deal. It’s completely unfounded and he’s done nothing but be a patient, accommodating and supportive angel (as has his gorgeous gf) but I am, indeed, a nut case and have this unshakable need to make myself crazy. Surely I am not the only one who lives with this fear?

Re: Lucky me!
Looks like we’re going to Bali again this year. Last year we got crazy cheap flights ($270 return) and spent 10 wonderful days there in March. This year, my generous and wonderful mother has offered us some frequent flyer points to have ourselves another glorious holiday! It may be a family holiday – my sister and her partner are considering coming and if they come then Mum and her partner will come too which may be a slight challenge but regardless, 2 weeks in Bali will be just what I need by the time April comes around.

Bali is one of those places that never really interested me ‘cos I’m not really a touristy, resort holiday, beachy kind of girl but after a particularly rough year about 5 years ago, Mum gave me points to go there and I’ve never looked back. I’m really fortunate in that I have a friend with an awesome house who lives there so with free flights and free accom, it’s actually cheaper to hang out in Bali on holiday for 2 weeks than it is to stay home! (And having just spent almost a month hanging out at home, I can truly vouch for that – part of our indulgence was WAY overspending!)

Anyway I am so spoiled and I know it!

And you know why else I’m spoiled? – Ducks is doing some design work for another Chinese Medicine friend of ours (yes, we have a couple) and rather than paying for the work, I’m getting free acupuncture! So this cycle I’m going ALL OUT and having needles put in me at least once a week! Ducks is so kind to me – how is it fair that she does the work and I get the reward? I love her so.

I could soooo be a princess.

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Filed under acupuncture, Family, gluten free diet, insemination, sanity, thyroid, ttc

November 8, 2007 · 8:55 pm