we will always remember you as the silent fighter, rest in peace.

not funny

- to have a flu when your exams are in two weeks
- to have 2 korean tests, one proposal, an assignment, one HRM test in 5 days time
- get a raging headache when u need to rush through your reports ('m obviously not done)

ok everyone! thankyou for reminding how near i am to USA trip! I am happy and sad at the same time (for xyz reason). but this is my motivation to like, get everything over and done with. arghhh

watched clash of the titans in 3d. SEE KAIKAI, i told you everyone say not nice in 3D. you must always rmb to listen to rachel goh, you'll never go wrong with me around. unlesssss, its directions then i think u should ignore me hahaha.

was looking at 987fm.sg's music charts and i realised, i know NO songs on the charts.

but hey i'm not complaining, since i am in love with korean songs. i listened to korean songs for the longest time, since my mom liked them ever since like 7 years ago. However, i need to find some points to reconnect singapore society with SO i will try to listen to some 987 songs. they are so trashy and stupid, all about sex, party, and having fun (not that kpop isn't anything like them). but because u dont really understand what they are singing in their foreign language, everything seems more peaceful and distant - they can't get to you and get to you at the same time. it's a very happy feeling listening to korean songs.

BACK TO CRITIQUE. focus (:

I wished you knew me like how I know you.
Then we wouldn't need words to communicate.
We could sit in silence the whole day,
Knowing that familiar sense of comfort,
And yet not know what is going on my insides.

I hope we won't turn out like what I fear.

I can't help it that 'm usually mumm about my thoughts and emotions. Sure its easier to let someone in.

But why do I feel that there are somethings you musn't be let on into?

you can sleep when you're dead, baby.

i wanted to start on my 10 page critique, but obviously not quite brave enough :/ ended up strolling around the pool and condo blocks with kai, and exercising at the random exercise corner that i have never been to (after being here for more than half a year) at past midnight. i love walks with kai (:

TODAY WAS NOT MY DAY. dont know if its my fugly lips or what, but everything felt like shit to me today. down and out, super burnt out. i cannot wait for exams to be over (repeats it about 200 times) then i can leave here (not for good). buttt i got to see jess and jo together in school (: felt kind of surreal, like back to secondary school days. i had this instinct to get my food and plop right beside them even though they are done eating, i know they'll wait for me to finish mine before embarking on their study session haha(:

gumert got angry in class today (one of the most interesting thing for a monday seriously). we got talked down like primary school children but ohwell, as long as it's gumert, we'll put up with his temper!!!! joyce's class was a bore as usual, and the stupid pop quiz was more of a trick questions then real tests of intelligence. so i dont know if i should be happy scoring a 1 out of 4 for trick questions hmmm.

I NEED TO GET DOWN TO SERIOUS WORK SERIOUSLY.
STOP FLOATING AROUND.
STOP BEING IN YOUR OWN DREAMWORLD, RACHEL.
PLEASE WAKE UP,
EVERYONE IS BURIED AND DROWNED BY THEIR BOOKS. EXCEPT YOU.

dionne! i saw this on tumblr and thought of you! (:

i have been working my poor little brain out so hard today. i am infact, almost done with my korean essay(YES!). it just needs abit more skimming through and error detection. i am so so so tired out. my poor brains, owww. woke up mighty early today to eat mian xian dan at my granny's place (: i swear i will start taking time out to see her often, maybe once a week in the morning just to have breakfast with her. she seems alot happier when she has me for company (: it sucks to be forgotten, and since karma's a bitch only if you are, i better start accumulating some good deeds for myself.

it's sad that i can't speak as well as i write for korean ):

i was doing up my favourite thing (a to-do list) and i am appalled to see the amount of shit school is giving me.

- KOREAN ESSAY
- QUIZ ON FRIDAY
- COVINGTON ARTICLE PLUS THE OTHER
- HRM CHAP 5
- COGNITIVE DEVELOPMENT PRESENTATION
- COGNITIVE DEVELOPMENT PROPOSAL
- BIOPSYCH CHAP 11 12 13 READINGS
- AND SOMEMORE STUFF THAT I CANNOT EVEN RMB (see the detrimental effects of school)

this week is going to be hell, so is next week. i can TOTALLY imagine everything snowballing. it is such a scary thought.

10 interesting things that happened this week:
(lets see if i can even remember that many)

1. i saw a motorcyclist banged a cyclist off his bike.
2. i didn't get off at the last bus stop on a bus to holland v.
3. there are mangoes at home.
4. kimi just licked my hand minutes ago.
5. life isn't as interesting as i thought it to be.
6.-
7.-
8.-
9.-
10.-

):

i really don't think i did anything wrong.

haven't been sounding too happy of late, i dont know why. this is probably an outlet for me to rant, not really functional to talk about happy stuff. well, went to holland v today with dionne and friends with my boyfriend. very happy just crapping (: and even though korean dinner with jess and jo on saturday wasn't fantastic ( !!!)))): ), i think it was really good to have chilled and talked about anything that came to our mind. plus, i tried udders for the first time and i got to say - love their rum and raisin (: the rum is strong! their fruit flavours are not as impressive. do try their bitter chocolate something something(alcoholic) (: good stuff!

i am trying very hard to keep up with school work, and so many more.

i didn't know you read my blog (: i love you!

please.

rachel, please don't give up when it's easy. don't.

reminder

i need to remember this phrase.

i guess this qoute soothes out the uncomfortable emotions that i have and explains for his reactions yesterday. i shouldnt have reacted in that manner? if i let him hold me, maybe we wouldn't have stomped away from each other? if i didnt expect anything from him, i wouldn't be disappointed. biggest problem with me: i like creating expectations out of my partner in a relationship. and when things do not work out the way i do, i know i kick up a big fuss. but give me a day or two to think about what i have done, i always realise that things should not have been like this. it doesnt mean that if he doesnt love me the way i want him to, he isn't giving his all.

now i know why he was so peeved. because i gave undermined the value of love he has for me. sorry.

“It’s tough when someone special starts to ignore you, but it’s even tougher to pretend that you don’t mind.”

i cannot fight this feeling of. why did we even talk about it. but then things could have turned out better if u responded according to what i would like to hear. then again, what makes me think that you would actually know what i was dying to hear? it sounded like you probably could not care less about our future. oh wait. maybe in your standards, THE future. there is no "ours" to talk about.

maybe.

talking to sab makes me think that things could have turned out better if only i was brave enough.
brave enough to retaliate
brave enough to say sorry first
brave enough to leave you
then maybe, maybe, there would be something or someone better out there, like what they always say. it is always so tough to take the first step. its something about the novelty that scares me. i won't know when i'll take the first step. or will i take it at all?

is it always true that the grass is greener on the other side?
because right now i just wished i was on the same side as you.

smells like sunshine.

so farnnehhh

this is seriously hilarious. hahaha. edward is cute.

i was laughing at dionne's post cos she said she was amazed at our group's ability to present on an article that we have no idea what it was rambling about on and on in the article. seriously it was an anyhow-whack and do-or-die for me. do-or-die in a good sense because it was only worth 4 marks, so i gave myself no stress and i think i did not stammer as much today, it was like "do lor. if not heck la, just die. anyhow."

anyway, cognitive development is such a waste of time. it bores me to tears and the midterm quiz looks daunting. but i am getting started on it, i will grit my teeth and get through it, hopefully completing up to at least question 3 tonight.

reminder to self: always be brave.