EAT HEALTHY

lol! don't know how many of this title i haveeeee. but okay.

oats for breakfast?
http://www.popsugar.com/food/How-Make-Really-Good-Oatmeal-37637138

(think ben would love this:) http://www.popsugar.com/food/Microwaveable-Mug-Oatmeal-Peanut-Butter-Banana-37311177

http://www.popsugar.com/fitness/Healthy-Chocolate-Oatmeal-36128208
(no i'm not aiming to lose weight but it looks super yums)

i really am starting to understand why there is rejection and pain amongst the mass of emotions on this vast universe. 2016's National Day is positively one of my most pleasant days yet. <3

Have no idea how my work collects, but it has amassed such great mob that i am close to being wiped out. lol. but holidays are always appreciated! yay! #thankyoujesus absolutely enjoyed myself. so much till i gotta blog it down, because. (:

We actually met early for once. Thanks PokemonGO! Usually we'd only meet after lunch. Or maybe 1ish, 2pm. Because God knows why. We met at 12.30pm at ION and went straight for the pokemons lunch at the ever-fiery MONSTER CURRY! He said, POKEMONSTERCURRYDAY! hahaha. Were hunting pokemons while having lunch. Was awesome. 

Headed to Lucky Plaza to take dillydally our way to GF office. :) We wanted to work on our portfolio, so that's what we did. Took a bus ride of which he kept lamenting that "the bus should drive slower" (yes, his engrish prowess iz much pwnz here)... RIGHT. the bus should slow down because we can't spin pokestops in time. or catch that bulbasaur that popped up and popped away. :'(

Alighted and strolled to a nearby mama-shop to grab coconut water^___^ #yums.

We really are amused at how fun it is to be poketrainers as a couple. hahahaha! but anyway, after we reached his office, it's just work and work. exploring how wix is used. work and work. you know i can't multitask right. but he totally rocks it. he was working while managing both our phones to capture the pokemons popping up around the area. not sure whether it was worth the effort but he got me a 400+CP Staryu (thanks!) and some other pretty amazing catches. 

So we just camped in office and worked on our portfolio pages from 2ish to 7+pm... *wipes sweat* and we were not even done yet! But we gotta go cos kinda determined that we don't wanna get enrolled into the crazy stadium horde. But before we left, we partook the holy comm togr. this is the dream life yo.

nicoll highway mrt's overhead bridge was like 1/4 (literally, no joke!) flooded with people. and... upon reachin the train station, we were greeted by this throng of kangaskhans NDP fireworks fanatics. totally. don't know whether it's for the fireworks. or to battle the nicoll highway gyms. HAHA okay la, fireworks ofc.  

deliberated quite a bit before deciding to go to vivo for dinner. went to check out our favorite western food place to FIND OUT THAT IT HAS CLOSED DOWN, to our absolute horror!!! :'( sobs. so we were headed to Sushi Tei but ended up at Poulet! the food was goooooood. both our firsts to dine at poulet. surprisingly, it wasn't expensive. we shared a whole chicken <3 and a tiramisu. the bill was like around $24. yummmms. the tiramisu was a huge disappointment tho. :/

guess what we did after dinner? no points for bullseye!
YES WE WENT POKEMON HUNTING.
<3

we ended up at vivo rooftop (again)! i really love it. so many memories. and filled with other poketrainers too <3 hahhaa.

this kid came up to me while i was talkin to des. and he peered straight into my screen and then exclaimed: POKEMON!

and I JUMPED. #dang. ahahha. so funny. the young mummy (more westernised) chided him and we all laughed. ohwells so cute.

so we were playin until 9.54pm. and we were like OMG it's 10pm!!! okokok LUCKY EGGGGGG. and then we activated our lucky eggs togr. and just spammed evolutions hahaha. we were really comfortable sitting on the wooden platforms and basking in all the pokemon hunting glory. hahaha. i guess it's uber fun because everybody's doing it togr? anyway, we were like leaning against each other and engrossed in our pkm evolutions and discussing it's time to head home. and i was teasing him, saying, aww tomorrow isn't a public holiday so u cannot take mrt round to serangoon :') (he dropped by serangoon the night before to catch eevees, lol, and joined shin, leah, eph & bang to catch a few pokemons)... then he blurted out and said, i send you back?

i was so shocked because. wah it's like RARER THAN LEGENDARY POKEMON LEH. HAHAHAHA. we have been togr for 5.5mths and it has never ever crossed his mind to send me back. not even to a bit more inconveniently take the train in a slight detour route... but i insisted that he shouldn't because it's really v late liaos? and really gotta work today plus we spent most of the day working on our portfolios (tired and all)...

and anyway he walked me to the train station and tapped in anyway. idk leh but i really am v v v happy that he sent me back. it's like another milestone in our relationship! (y) and why i love pokemongo so much. hahaha it's like the best excuse for me to ask him out. *heh* hahahah! but okay la, it should stop. #priorities

and... cos he sent me home, he missed the last bus *wails* and he gotta walk home from hbf.. :'( *wails x 2* and before we went to bed, he said "love u"... and i told him it's ... really... a ... significant day. cos he has never said that to me! maybe once or twice on very special occasions. like included by default in the 5mth anniversary message kinda way. but never out of the blue, on a seemingly normal day. wahlaooooo.

so that's the reason i revisited this blog. #thankyoujesus for giving me the best.

like the very best person to care for me. and cares deeply about my relationship with jesus. and also somebody who patiently nurtures the plant(me! but i think he'd say, u where got plant.. u pig what).. hahaha. am super blessed by the fact that it's him and not others. someone who shares passions similar to my own. i really don't know how to ask for more. :')

thank you jesus <3
---
forgot to include that we were so close to calling it quits. and thanks for holding on so tightly for what you believed in although i forever am relying on my vision for what's ahead which is so bleak and weak. we are really growing stronger togr. like, really. thanks for including me in the things you do. and being in this for the long run. <3

the power of outlove

experiencing it firsthand is really humbling.

i exploded like an egg in a microwave on bdn and he had to clean up the mess. don't know why i allowed so much bitterness to build up in me. but also never really expected him to change.

cos.
it's just him.

just him to be saying stupid stuff that ticks me off. and just me to suppress my emotions and go on with a stupid smiley.
just him to vanish and not bother to text or resurface until he feels like it...most of the time, only the next day when he hits the office. or when he's super, duper, dumbfoundedly bored. or when he is hit by a revelation and he wants to share.
just him to plan his stuff and forget that i am not imaginary and actually exist.
.
.
.
just to name 3. lol.
i can't remember now after i ranted everything.

it was a teary experience.
what's new? i always tear up when he does all those stupid stuff also.
cos he can be really dense. like, really, seriously, hopelessly dense.

but today i really felt that i cannot suppress those emotions anymore.
i just told him straight that we need a break.
more like he needs it.
cos he's so comfortable on his own, he's so comfortable with his schedule.
i guess that's all that matters.
he's happy.

and i'm not.

and i hated myself behaving that way also.
didn't i say to proceed without expectations?
why am i changing my mind – like a fickle only. :|

what happened when i told myself that i may not like everything you do, but let's say i will choose to love you above them. heng i never told him that before. if not lagi xia suay. cannot even. and first thing is i wanted out. cos i'm just so scared that he would ghost me first.

and okay, the truth is, i can never keep enough tab of the good he does for me and to me. :') and now as i'm writing this, i'm remembering that he really has been so faithful and reliable in down times when it really mattered. :'( sorry.

and today he insisted on meeting for dinner even though i said it was fine. but it's thursday. cayla will be visiting. :'( and that's why now i feel so guilt-tripped. over this episode. and he wants to spend time with meee because he's afraid that i'll flip out on him.

---
i really dun wan to eat into ur time w cayla

omg

I'm fine with it

That means you have to give me a much better and enjoyable time than with cayla
---

thanks for being the sweetest T___T

how to not melt in the presence of outlove.
#thankyoujesus for the empowerment T___T

easy peasy update

yo people. updates.
should have updated before my previous post, but.. oh well!...

yes, we're togr and it's like a dream come true #thankyoujesus !! :)) can only say i'm super grateful and, wahlao, it can only be favor. still cannot imagine/contemplate how things would ever turn out this way! *beams*

dropped by this blog to dig out some recipes and thought maybe i can take around 5min for a quick update teeheehee.

anyway, friends always have a way to gnaw their way into my core. have been having dreams of the same person T___T ... #hurt ... the cause behind my previous blog post. and it's such an irony, my prev blog post was made on BDN's bday. sighs T___T... only wanna leave things in the hands of Daddy God. feels like the friendship may be mending,... i don't know. but okay lah, i really don't wanna pressure x so let's just leave it be for now.

time flies. and over the past weekend, junX and |iN` held their wedding! woohoo! i can't believe it. they are FINALLY married, i don't need to keep hinting jun to propose liao. LOL.

not much of a deep post today, but solely just to keep information fresh. teehehe.

can only say i'm truly glad to be back to be in church, truly glad to be walking in consciousness of Daddy God's love for me, truly glad to be where I am, what I do... don't know far ahead, only need to know that He's in control... since Day 1 of my life (or even before).

i'm sorry that i'm now so much closer to my friends from church... but somehow it's so difficult to speak well when in the counsel of the world. everybody is always frantic and fearful and only bad news to talk about. and i can't say it respectfully enough -- this world is fallen, it will always be (till Christ returns for good), has always been... why is everybody so shocked at bad things happening or the way fallen flesh behaves? okay, i am shocked and it kinda feels that news are only getting worse each day.

know how i used to joke about rapture will come before the person i like will make a move :pp ok i was wrong. but i still believe the rapture is sooner than we are gna expect. and somehow i don't know. i want my friends to be set free with the truth. but it's so funny that we will never realise how much we need Christ until we see it from hindsight. :')

can only trust that the Lord's timing is always perfect.

it's surprising how i always find myself back here whenever i need somewhere to vent.

today this has been running through my mind:
are there times when you feel life is getting so hard, it really is just better to die.

i feel so stuck right now.

my heart races

there once stood a wall.

the sun rose.

it knocked.
one brick removed.
a stream of light was let in.
it felt warm.

another brick removed.
more light.
it felt good.

the sun set.

darkness in every corner.

it felt cold.
and lonely. and scary.

an ache.
missing the presence of the sun.
yearning for the light it brings.

this pain shifted something in me.
it showed me what my priorities were.
and it helped me rearrange them.
a purpose and a calling to be His and to be loved,
and to share with others my vulnerable love journey with the Lord.

i've been greatly blessed
and truly hope others would be,
through the revelation of Jesus, too..

out of this valley emerged a new spirit.

---

Lamentations 3:22-24The Message (MSG)

22-24 God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out,
    his merciful love couldn’t have dried up.
They’re created new every morning.
    How great your faithfulness!
I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over).
    He’s all I’ve got left.

almost a year ago

Hi..

I really hope you wouldn’t hate me for this final decision I have made. I know that I can’t help it even if you do. I am sorry that I am unable to make you a part of my future although it was something I always envisioned to do during the different phases of my life. I still do hope that you may still make it but I highly doubt so. Some things are never to be forced upon others, and I truly believe religion is one of them, as well as one’s history.

This time apart has given me space and also lots of time to think through about what really matters and will always matter to me. I still do truly believe that it’s God call that something this drastic has happened despite we agreed that it wouldn’t ever have. You mean a lot to me, but I guess you are right, probably not as much as what you’d like to be. I cannot go on knowing that one day this difference in background & religious beliefs are going to tear us apart and even maybe our future mini family apart... I have spent years growing up, bearing grudge to the fact that my mum chose to marry my dad although he was (and still is) a non-believer, leading our family to end up in broken pieces cos of all the things that happened which shouldn’t have happened. All my friends around me from christian homes have nice, loving & nurturing daddies that I could only I wish I had. I don’t want anybody to suffer the same as I did and also bear grudge to me in future. Much as we say we would bring up our kids differently, ...could we, really?

It is really painful for me to let go because after all, we have really been together on & off such a long, long time. It is evident how deeply entwined we are to each others’ lives through our mutual friends and even the families... It is more difficult than you would believe it to be for me, but it is still what I would choose to do because I refuse to continue treading on the path I know is going to bring me lots of uncertainties and insecurities?

I truly do not deny that you have really changed and turned into a wonderful & patient boyfriend! I would never imagine that in 2011. You have matured so much and learned about being responsible in so many areas. I am really so proud of you! =) I do hope that you will keep it up and continue striving to become more and more successful. I know that it is in you to overcome all odds. Tough times don’t last, tough men do. 

To be honest, I would never imagine that it would end up being me to come to such a decision. I have always believed that if I aligned my mentality correctly, everything would be fine. I was wrong. I am sorry to have entangled you into my mess of a life and ruthlessly decide to cut you off despite all the promises we had made to each other. I am truly sorry.

I am sorry to have wasted so much of your time on me. 

Actually, I wouldn’t blame you if you hate me for this. I’m sorry. I hope that the mistake made more than 10 years ago would be made right today. No more, no more, no more. Get it over and behind us, once and for all. 

I wish you all the best ahead =) and I really do believe you have it in you to do very, very well and that you would find someone that is more suitable and acute to your needs and also one whom you would love & care for wholeheartedly, and also do the same for you.

Regards,

11jul14

...

not sure if i mean what i say:
i hope the realisation of her death will stop having the honour of knocking the wind out of me every.single.time... maybe i could be more prepared for it? but every time when it comes at me unawares...it just knocks me back into the pool of tears.

but, neither do I want to be pulled out of it. I want to continue remembering her, no matter how distant it may feel, and I don't want to ever get used to her not being around anymore. I want to look at her favorite spots and be surprised when I don't see her there, I want to sneak around the house asking where she is, whether she is at home or at church. I want to continue remembering to greet her first at each family meal, and to only hear in my head the same grace she has said for me over every single meal we had together for the 10-over years...I remember asking why she says the same grace over and over again...lol i don't remember what she replied... now i can only guess it's because that was sufficient for us...

主耶稣 我感谢你。谢谢你给我们吃，给我们穿。
请给我们吃干净。奉主耶稣的名，阿门。

Thank you Daddy for being my provision and for planting somebody so pivotal in my life to care for me during my growing years. Not forgetting that she was also the one to take me to church when mum's too busy, and also the first one that I know firmly that is never ever ceasing to be praying for me. Where would I be if not for her countless intercessions and firm heart of prayer?

The world came to a standstill when I was reading through the oddly-titled group chat named "Ah Ma" during breakfast (yeah even before heading to the breakfast counter, I choose to indulge in a digital feast first) in the midst of my short weekend getaway vacation with d LG peeps. I still find it hard to believe that she got from sick to leaving us in just ONE DAY (24 hours) of me away from wi-fi connection. And for the past 3 months I was SO BUSY with EVERYTHING that I didn't even drop by to visit despite my office being just a walk away. I dropped by only once for a quick dinner before heading off to comtam with sis and xiaojiu...but I AM SO GLAD that I sat down with her for a quick dinner...but why only a quick dinner? why was I always on the rush??? I really took her presence for granted. I had expected so many more dinners together, I had thought that I would have had the chance to sit by her side while she withers away and to whisper into her ears the comforting bible verses I would have had memorised, and also to let her leave a proud and blessed grandma. I EXPECTED so much more...and I wonder why God chose to just strip all that expectations from me and leave me bawling in the middle of nowhere, so near yet too far from my family. The last dinner I had with her was so brief...and I still remember she was chiding Reena for not adding peanuts into the lotus soup whilst Reena was smiling at her politely and explaining that we ran out of peanuts :):) and will get more soon! and I was still teasing her playfully (as usual) WAH! ahma! 你很厉害咧，这样也给你吃出来啊？...and how she always took my jokes and teases SO WELL, joined me in laughing and said it's because there's no peanuts in her bowl! and how there is a difference from how the soup should have turned out...

oh well 我希望你知道 你不在就很像莲藕汤少了花生。。。还是莲藕汤，却又少了些什么。虽然不会明显，但是就是感觉有少少的不一样。。。so unnoticeable until you choose to consciously look into it and realise that it is actually the peanuts that are missing from this almost-complete puzzle... it's just the subtlety that hurts so much.. because it's not in a tornado or whirlwind, but in the light, gentle breeze that carries the still small voice and her subdued and muted presence.

dunno why people all relate sadness to negativity. I may be sad, I may be downcast, but I am not discouraged nor negative about life. I just miss her... Miss the knowing thought of her being physically able and "safe". "Safe" because my idea of safety is so meagre. What is safer than being in the arms of/seated with Christ Jesus...really?

It's always the people who are left behind that suffers... but I am so happy for you. It is a blessing that you never had to send your younger gen off first... Isn't that wonderful? I hate the toiling of this world I am in, I sure hope to join you where you are, soon... =) Meanwhile let me be here and encourage my brothers&sisters in Christ, and also support my younger cousins and aunts and uncles and siblings and immediate family in love...

Thank you Daddy for giving me a chance to have met and learnt so much from Ahma and all my aunties & uncles. Although it's a missing piece and it hurts...i believe it is an experience to strengthen me for my future in glorifying you :)

Let the bad fall away

My desire to be clean of all that binds me for the Father's glory. No need to be crude anymore to gain others' approval, but filled with kindness and grace because He grants me favor :) meekness in character but bold in the name of the Lord. Wisdom to discern good and evil, strength and faithfulness to execute my calling as led by the Spirit. 

Victory is mine to claim! Jesus is my righteousness! I am redeemed by the blood of Jesus, my sins are irrevocably forgiven. Worthy is the lamb. In the name of Jesus, AMEN :)

------------------------------

Become a person in the grace zone who prays like this: “Thank you Lord, I can receive Your grace, Your favor, because I don’t deserve it. I don’t qualify for it, therefore it’s mine.” You will find that it delights God to use what you feel is your problem area for success.

http://www.josephprince.org/daily-grace/articles/single/god-moments-give-you-success/

terrified

i hate this feeling. =( don't like don't like don't like!!!
damn stupid damn dumb.

back to draw a house quiz...

Here is the analysis:

Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. 

You are shy and reserved. If you've drawn a cross on each of windows, you always want to live alone. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. Your life is always full of changes. 

You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You always have plans on your mind. This might cause a lot of stress if things don't go the way you expect. You have a strong personality and you like to command, influence and control people. 

You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself.

and then another quiz:
You are enthusiastic innovators, always seeing new possibilities and new ways of doing things. You have a lot of imagination and initiative for starting projects, and a lot of impulsive energy for carrying them out. You are stimulated by difficulties and are most ingenious in solving them. You can get so interested in your newest project that you have time for little else. Your energy comes from a succession of new enthusiasms and your world is full of possible projects. Your enthusiasm gets other people interested too.
You see so many possible projects that you sometimes have difficulty picking those with the greatest potential. Your feeling can be useful at this point to help select projects by weighing the value of each. Your feeling judgment can also add depth to the insights supplied by your intuition.
Your feeling preference shows in a concern for people. You are skillful in handling people and often have remarkable insight into the possibilities and development of others. You are extremely perceptive about the attitudes of others, aiming to understand rather than judge people. You are much drawn to counseling and can be inspired and inspiring teacher, particularly where you have freedom to innovate. With talent, you can succeed in almost any field that captures your interest-- art, journalism, science, advertising, sales, the ministry, or writing, for example.
A difficulty for you is that you hate uninspired routine and find it remarkably hard to apply yourself to sometimes necessary detail unconnected with any major interest. Worse yet, you may get bored with your own projects as soon as the major problems have been solved or the initial challenge has been met. You may need to learn to follow through and finish what you have begun, but are happiest and most effective in jobs that permit one project after another, with somebody else taking over as soon as the situation is well in hand.
Because you are always being drawn to the exciting challenges of new possibilities, it is essential that you develop your judgment. If your judgment is undeveloped, you may commit yourself to ill-chosen projects, fail to finish anything, and squander your inspirations by not completing your tasks.

thanks for the great memories. can't lose what you never had. 

can't put my finger to what hapz. why suddenly like this?

when did i become so emotionally-attached? it's so tiring, it's draining me dry every day...

save yourself before you try to save others. hahah.

now it's time to take a step back and admire the masterpiece :))

i like smiles, i like positivity, i like you to believe in yourself & your future.

and then gradually let go. as it recovers its own momentum and continue its journey :))

i hate to remind you: i am self-sufficient, unlike in the past. may you remember this, and remember it well. :) dun make it sound like i am too busy for you when you are not motivated to move an inch. i don't see how going out on my own is different with going out with friends, i am still out and breathing fresh air and that's what i NEED to recharge. i don't play to win. i play to connect with people i care about. when you want to do something, you can give all sort of excuses to do it. and i think i can read u so much better than u like. and it's so scary to only just realise again that we are worlds apart. OMG? ur friends and i, we can't click. i have tried. even the best of the best, still cannot click. it's the moral issues. really. but it's okay. it's me and you, not me and them.

i don't mind la tbh. i don't mind altering slightly to suit you. but when i need to, i NEED to rest. i need to when i need to. I am unable to sit still and play games to CONNECT WITH YOUR FRIENDS who does not at all empower me or make me feel happier or anything. it does not build me up and only makes me more agitated and prone to irritability. so how? -_-! can you blame me for it? -_-!

a glimpse into the past

feels so good to get in touch with someone i lost.
truly a blessing... the lesson is to press on and never give up. lut does a great job at that, unlike me... hahaha.

it was a 'costly' night out, but nevertheless it was amazing. dinner, dancedance, movie then starbucks/chinesechess. i'm happy that i still have friends.......... XD and it is true that i'm really fortunate to find people that can connect well with me. people who puts up with my crazy, people who sticks by my decisions and people who understands my quiet.

infinite possibilities for each situation.. i'm just happy to feel all over again, the little spark of excitement and happiness /engagement until i get all dizzy! :)) i realised that people can choose to misunderstand me! i don't care, really. i'm a highly extroverted person but that doesn't mean i care to dog after people who tears at me for whatever reasons. people who, time and again, misunderstands my character and mis'judge' my actions. ('judge' because, why do you even judge me?!?!?!)

and all in all, happiness is in creating new memories! the past haunts but the future awaits! :)))

Recipes for gals to hydrate skin.

you know how you sometimes see something inspiring, and you go like, okay yea xxx shared it and i'm going to go back to that page and search for it.....................but fb doesn't have a really friendly "search" function. damn.

have decided to put them here so can refer more easily in case one day i really wanna make them. in chinese...........hmm... i shall try to help understand and "decipher" and put into English (not as direct as translation...)... so i can easily refer to them in future!!! hahha

----------------------------------------------------------

photo & recipe extracted from 女人成长日记

女人喝了以后！皮肤嫩得可以挤出水来（女性必看）

Another recipe for soft and supple skin :) (Must-see for females!)

当归鸡蛋红糖水

(一星期喝1—2次，对面色发黄，月经不调，月经稀少特别有用~)

Dongquai, eggs & dates dessert

(1-2 times a week, for people with pale & yellow undertones or irregular m* cycle. Highly effective for latter.)

食材：当归15g、鸡蛋100g、红糖30g

Ingredients: Dongquai (15 grams), Eggs (100 grams) - w t f -_- i think that is around 2 eggs?, Brown sugar (30 grams)

做法 / Method：

1)把所有材料准备好。

1) Prepare all ingredients.

2)当归用水泡10分钟，再用牙刷轻轻刷洗干净。

2) Soak dongquai in water for 10min. Use a clean(duh) toothbrush to scrub it well. GENTLY.

3)当归切成薄片。

3) Slice dongquai into thin slices.

4)把切好的当归片放入锅中，加入适量清水，大火煮开后转中小 

火煮15分钟。

4) Place thinly sliced dongquai into pot and add appropriate amount of water. Cook over high heat until water boils. Lower to med-low heat and cook another 15min.

5)鸡蛋放入锅中，加没过鸡蛋的冷水中火煮开至熟。

5) While cooking the dongquai, prepare eggs. Add eggs into pot of water. Eggs should be fully submerged in water. Cook in medium heat till cooked.

6)取出，用冷水泡浸一下，剥去鸡蛋壳，并用叉子在蛋白的表面 

扎一下。

6) Remove eggs from pot and soak in cold water. Peel eggs and puncture surface gently with fork to create a few little holes.

7)把剥好的鸡蛋放入当归水中，调大火，煮开后转中小火继续煮 

10分钟左右。

7) Drop eggs into dongquai soup gently and cook over high heat until boiling. Lower heat to med-small and continue cooking for another 10min.

8)加入红糖，煮至糖溶即可。

8) Add brown sugar to taste and continue cooking till dissolved.

9)晾至温热，即可开吃。

9) Let soup cool to warm and enjoy :)

----------------------------------------------------------

photo & recipe extracted from 女人成长日记

女人喝了以后！皮肤嫩得可以挤出水来

Woman after drinking! Skin tender enough to be out of water (according to google translate, oh GAWD)

Try this recipe for soft and supple skin :)

红枣当归蛋
(大姨妈来的时候不要喝~ 有条件的话再加点黑豆，效果会更好，经常痛到打滚的妹子赶紧试试吧）

Red Dates Dongquai Egg :D:D:D

(Do not consume when having your period! ???can add black beans??? Effect will be better omfg i am like super fail translator rofl. adding black beans will yield better results??????? what results??? lol. And if you suffer from bad period cramps or whatever, try this?)

食材：当归10g、红枣80g、黄芪10g、鸡蛋3个、红糖适量

Ingredients: Dong Quai (10 grams), Red Dates (80 grams), Astragalus Root (10 grams), 3 eggs, Suitable amount of Brown Sugar做法 / Method：

1)准备好材料

1) Prepare ingredients required.

2)锅里加适量的水，放入鸡蛋煮熟，加少许盐，可以防鸡蛋开裂
2) Cook eggs. Adding salt may help prevent eggs from cracking.

3)煮好的蛋去壳，用牙签在鸡蛋表面刺一些小孔，和当归一起
煮，味道更容易渗到鸡蛋内
3) Peel eggs. Using a toothpick, create a few holes on the surface of the eggs to aid absorption when cooking together with dongquai.

4)将当归和黄芪放入锅中，加3大碗水煮沸
4) Put dongquai and astragalus root together into pot. Add 3 large bowls of water and boil.

5)转小火，加入红枣
5) Lower heat, add red dates.

6)放入鸡蛋，大火煮沸后，小火炖，煮汤至一碗即可，约40分钟
6) Add eggs. After it boils, lower heat to a simmer until soup quantity evaporates to approximately one bowl's, will take around 40min.

7)加入红糖，煮三四分钟即可

7) Stir in brown sugar to taste, cook for another 3-4min.

libra scales

lol. wanted to leave yet another untitled post but decided maybe not.
and forced myself to come up with one title hehee. libra scales.

cos can't decide if it's happy day or not.

everyday seems to be an endless drag..... of everyday life. heh. it's like........ yes yes the skies are blue, the weather is lovely, lunch was great, why not. work is as usual, a little or more than a bit mundane, and forever unfulfilling (nowadays). maybe we were meant to be so much more?

ok. maybe it is a happy day.

i struggled out of my comfort zone and said some stuff i really wanted to say because i knew if i don't, i will regret it for the rest of my days. (yes, i am a regret-prone person)

life is still confusing as ever. as tho its only mission is to confuse me. unsure what i wanna do or achieve. wondering why i chose a stable and comfortable(not so much anymore) lifestyle. repetitive. every single day i can just put myself on autopilot and do everything!

smlj blog halfway intranet cum internet no more (first time in my current coy). ftw srsly. lol.

i think there's so much more i want out of my life. but i guess the first step is to gather the real warriors to fight alongside me...people who really care about me and people who i really care about in return. i guess there are no shortcuts and u can't force friendships. lol that explains why some friendships never work out no matter how hard i try.

that's why i really resonate with this quote i chanced upon:
physical attraction is common.
mental connection is rare.

:') i hope this life-changing decision is for the better for everyone.
and that this is the first step to break out of my comfort(able mundane) zone.

i'm always tempted to come back into the blogging sphere. but i kept sweeping the idea under the carpet. because blogging is for bloggers? and i don't think my friends appreciate me blogging and uploading pics of them? like what we used to do? why did all that have to change? lol? anyway i will just quietly update my blog from my little cozy corner. it's my own form of keeping memories safely tucked away anyway :). that's my secret to remembering all the things people don't remember. LOL. (yes cos i either wrote in my physical diary or blogged them)

i realised that you can actually import blogger into wordpress. but haiya, i don't want lah. why would i wanna import my old blog into a new blog. sighs :'( all these are safe memories! :') i have clocked over 3k posts in total. heh so self-centered rofl.

5-natural-ways-to-remove-blackheads

http://www.crunchybetty.com/5-natural-ways-to-remove-blackheads

amazing recipes

http://www.closetcooking.com/2012/02/buffalo-chicken-potato-skins.html
http://www.closetcooking.com/2013/03/buffalo-chicken-deviled-eggs.html
http://www.closetcooking.com/2013/03/roasted-cauliflower-satay-with-spicy.html#more
http://www.closetcooking.com/2013/01/buffalo-roasted-cauliflower.html

Stardust

Dark clouds have gathered & even the sun has lost its shine. How do I ever replicate this feeling onto ink and paper?

Confronted by disappointment when people do things, knowing that it would hurt you. The deepest cut is deliberately inflicted upon yourself. Well-measured and calculated cuts act as a release of the agony buried inside.

What can I say, things will never be the same. It's like... Some essence has escaped in that very special moment and freed from the ties that used to hold it down.

Now I am coping to becoming a master at keeping things to myself, not feeling compelled to share every single interesting detail that has caught my eye. There are people who yearn to know and to take your place, but no, so hard to make friends all over again. So hard that I rather not.

Cos u just gave up your standing in my life just too easily. Really, what a huge disappointment. Tsk.

I had to apologize...

...for my stupidity... =( i was halfway an idiot. hahahx.
but only halfway!!
let this picture always remind me of what happened. on the 20th Oct 2012. I HAD FUN! :)
and... ya lor. that's why i'm sick now.

congrats!!! :))) he did come back, 19 months later. but what's gone is gone. the fire that burned it all away. the wind carries the ashes, like memories, into a tomorrow that will forget the past. people all move on in one way or another. no point hanging on to the past. people change, and even if u did change, i don't want to risk getting physically abused all over again. no matter what you say. i can forgive you for all that you did to me. but i can never forget what happened. and what's more, it happened TWICE. only somebody like me would get ditched by the same person twice. and it happened. and it happens. lol. stay happy peeps. looks like i'm the only one who still bothers to blog, every now and then :)

Some thoughts.

Do you know............ that it's actually rather stressful working in a stress-free environment? I didn't know that. wahahaha. because..... apparently i am not as busy as before, and at times when i'm surfing the web, i stop to ask myself, did i forget any work?!!?!? STRESS MAN! ahahha. ok, but really, i don't leave work to the last minute. (i know i know, WORK does not equate to HOMEWORK. i still don't see how doing homework helps me become a contributive person today) hahaha. i realise that when i was a busy person, always busying around, i had many excuses. it made me lazy. i'm too busy to meet u for lunch / dinner. i'm too busy to make gifts for you (so i just grab _any_ thing off the shelf.... it's the thought that counts, right? how ironic! :) i'm too busy to commit. i'm too busy to give. i'm too busy, too busy, too busy! help you? ARE U CRAZY? OF COURSE....NOT!? IM VERY BUSY LEI. so selfish. wahahaha. but now i think my brain is slower. because...... i can't give excuses like, oh i was so busy i forgot to send this work over. wahahaha. basket. idk man. what a confusion. and i'm somewhat hoping to visit mum in Brunei this year maybe? during my birthday, probably? since the dates are kinda convenient =) see how.

RECIPES?

http://www.kalynskitchen.com/

for the most awesome recipes . a website i found a long time ago.
had a hard time finding it again!! =)))

http://justbento.com/

and my fav bento web =)

re-union dinner?

what is a reunion dinner?
guess it has never been a big thing for me.

some colleagues r returning home during cny.
happy for them, at least they have a 'home' to return to.
i'm stuck here, n even so, it's not like i have a 'home' elsewhere.
what's the point of forcing a reunion dinner down my throat...when i have indicated specifically that i don't wish to be there?

not any of my direct family member will be there.
unless my grandma is considered to be a 'direct' family member.
MMMZ. n nobody is from MY generation / MY age group / MY phase of life.
aw i feel so self-centered. "MY" .

no, i don't need you to fulfill these requirements just to make sure i go.
i just want to be left alone to do my own stuff.
should have learned from my lovely colleague (sc) to just head overseas (hk!!!).
gah.

is there a need to put up a front or just create a make-believe that it's actually a 'reunion' dinner? omg. i don't need it. -.-
i don't know if it's hurting for me to say:
there's no need to force-create a space for me in your life;
i'm either in it, or not. so... if for around 100 days, i'm already half-invis, what's the diff in that 1 day? is it really so important? and anyway i really do not wish to go for reunion dinner. I DON'T WISH TO! because i just don't like. omg i'm going to cry already. fuck up.
it has always been this way, i really don't want it to be different.

and anyway, i'm happy to say, one day i will have a home to return to.
cos God is preparing for me =)

I wonder what fills your heart when u realized the one u let go means a lot to you? and then u embark on this search to bring the past back to life. yes, u may not be pushing it. but ur ex ain't retard either. from stone-cold, u became warm and friendly, and probably a little too concerned about whatever thats going on in the latter's life.

and the golden question. who are you seeing now? umm, no one? what emotion hits next? mixed feelings? or boastful pride?

wow. I must have been a great guy! she couldn't find anybody to take my place in her life!

then, think again.
u really think so?

I'm just waiting patiently for the man of my life. I guess when u persistently wait for someone, will that relationship mean more precious.

sorry but thanks for showing me that we never were meant to be.

thanks!!!

gifts from fammy n bosses (((:
I felt loved~~~

days...

sometimes I feel so normal and inflated with happiness. hope the emo suicidal patterns will never, ever come.

these are the days I simply take a step back and enjoy the view. and it sure feels great. just thankful for every thing.

nice colleagues despite the occasional tantrums and somewhat unexpected last minute insane hours ... at least my juices are being sucked in a way which makes me feel great......about being me.

stay happy, I hope .:. thanks for providing everything in the most well-planned manner...:.

forgetting.

"just for your bday la. i am gna forget how u look like soon if u don't meet up with us!!!"

well. less painful for everybody if it's forgotten, right?
just the last few who i find it hard to detach myself from..

tears

broke down at work.
was sick since morning.
haven't been feeling okay since ???

end of day, all that clouded my head was
what in d world am i working so hard for?

work is ok.
in fact, everything was fine.
guess it's just the sick that i was drowning in.
and a few text messages that sent me slipping my way down  the slippery rocks.

i have to admit,
i really scrimped and saved in sept.
well i did splurge on several occasions.
like. getting a bday gifts and. some books.
and well contacts lenses are necessary since my specs r already breaking
-_-"

proud to say, i did save quite more than i expected.
but
sad to say,
i didn't meet what i set for myself.

i really don't know what i can do.

cried and cried. omg. so depressing.

amazed

isn't it amazing, how a couple can go totally separate ways after breaking up?
i have to admit, i totally don't miss guan now.
-.-" however much i used to think that i won't be able to make it without him... :3

well. it's good for a change.
God's plans...so obvious! *hugs*
i'm really happy. really glad. and evrything.

i look back, i'm glad it's over.
can u imagine, how much crap that was.
trying to cram yourself somewhere with someone
who has a whole load of universe's differences in between.
tiring. definitely wasn't mundane.
wasn't normal.

after it all, i can't believe he can even suggest a probable patch.
gosh. -___- it was so chaotic, so worrisome. so bad.

u could have spent every waking or dreaming moment every second together in the past.
when it's time to move on, it is. i'm glad i was forced to.
the reason for me to hang on wasn't worth the pain i had to bear.

i'm trying to learn a new brainwash.
i rather he lies to me than not bothered to lie at all.
:3 and when in doubt whether to say certain stuff or not,
don't say it! cos u usually won't regret not saying :p

i'm glad it's over.
but will have to take a while before i commit to anybody.
:))

last night my friend came by to send me home from work.
so nice can! thanks for the ride :3 got a free ride home~
and free mcflurry. yummyyums!

i need to fall out of my pessimism.
it's really a roller coaster ride for me now.
gah. somehow i know i'll be ok at the end of it all.
talkin bout rc, can't wait to visit USS again !
wonder when can i go? :/

<3

sometimes i feel stronger.
then i will feel weak.
then the cycle repeats.
and repeats ....

hope can leave work super on time tmr!

screwit.
weiyu.

won't be long
before
i
k
i
l
l
m
y
s
e
l
f

this
is
too
st
r
e
s
s
s
sss
sful

s..i...g...h....s.....

why.

in troubled times it's You I seek....
and i hope even in good times, I remember You!

thank God.
the weekend was overwhelming.
things went too well, i don't know if it was against or for You....
but i sure do hope, it was from You =)