Proof

I am telling you, honest to blog, an alien took my child and left someone else in his place.

Sometimes

Sometimes it feels like I do the same things everyday. Oh, wait, I do exactly the same things everyday! Day of the week? Who cares! Time of day? Doesn't really matter! Mom's never have a day off, we don't even get off at 5! Everyday we feed, discipline, dress, wash, and keep watch of our kids. And some of us really lucky ones, even get to sleep with our kids. Of course for me, it never starts out that way, but by morning, when I am resuming consciousness, and I begin to wonder why it feels as though I have no arms and my foot is broken....Low and behold there are 2 rugrats in my bed.

But you know what? I am trying to remember that my kids are only little for such a very, very short, neeny time. And I have to say, I LOVE having my sisters and close friends help me laugh at the things that make me want to cry in desperation. On those days when I feel like a horrible, mean, witch of a mother, I have a sister who says, "Dude, that was totally me yesterday, I told Spencer blah, blah, blah.....and I didn't so much tell him as yell at him as bloody loud as I could" And every time I laugh and think, YAY! Some one else that every now and again agrees with me when I say "I hate my life". Of course, hate is a strong word, and we don't really mean it, but ya know...I didn't really mean it when I said Colton was gonna have to spend the night at Amy's house if he didn't go potty when I told him to.

Exaggeration is a way of life, and I am glad to say I am a proud user of exaggeration. Everything is so much better being blown out of proportion. I recommend it to all.

10 things I say at LEAST 10 times a day

1. I should only have to tell you once!

2. I am SERIOUS!

3. Why? Why would you do that?

4. Vader, you are so freakin annoying!

5. Aubrey, Mama said NO!

6. I don't understand "Whine", try again

7. One, Two, Three.....That. Is. It.

8. You so, know better than that!

9. Stop hitting, spitting, and calling eachother names!

10. For the Love!

I say LINCOLN you say CITY

LINCOLN..................

LINCOLN...................

I cannot wait!!!

Happy Birthday Trenton!

The last of the "boys" has turned 4! Trenton is one of a kind, and gets cuter every time I see him. Here is my List of Things Noodle

*Whenever he comes to my house, he immediately goes to my fridge and gets a yogurt, when that is gone, he follows up with a pudding or a fruit snack

*He has always been so quiet and sneaky

*He is the smallest of the 3 boys, but has the biggest smile by far

*I adore the way he says "house"

*A perfect example of Trenton...Yesterday at my house I was trying to make the kids sit and watch a movie, Trenton kept getting up, so I kept sitting him back down. When I told him I was going to keep putting him in his seat until he stayed there, he told me "You not Stwong"

*His blue eyes are amazing

*There is just something so cute about the way he walks...

*He almost always has his underwear on backwards

*He can curl up into the tiniest ball

*I love that his nickname is Noodle

This is one great kid. I am so fortunate to be his Aunt, and hope he comes over to eat yogurt at my house for a very long time. He is quiet, but if you sit back and watch him, he will definetly put a smile on your face. I just love him!

Urban Legend No More

I have listened to many a mother tell the story of how aliens came and took their children, leaving a replacement that was not up to par. This new "alien" clone child was not the child they had raised. It's habits were different, attitude completely changed, sleeping patterns altered. I had always thought this was an urban legend, an old wives tale of sorts.

Well I am here to testify, My son has been taken by aliens. It happened about 2 weeks ago. This is who they took....


My little boy who, smiled and played, who would straighten up by the time I counted to 3....

And Left me.....



A hot scurvy mess. This alien child talks back horribly, tells me no with out hesitation, and is sent to his room repeatedly. He takes naps, giving me hope of a better attitude, only to awake the same naughty boy he was before he fell asleep. I am at a loss as to what to do.

So to mothers everywhere, be aware, this could happen to you too. Please take caution and do what you can to protect your children.

How Do You Eat an Oreo?

*Note to Self*

Never leave Aubrey unattended with a package of Oreos

Dad and Easton

To my Dad, I am sorry I forgot to do your birthday post, it was an oversight...I have been thinking about Fathers Day, and totally forgot to honor you on your birthday. So Dad, Happy Belated Birthday, I love you more than you know....

Easton, Happy Eighth Birthday! The time has flown by...
Here is a List of things Easton

*Seriously, those cheeks?? I LOVE them

*He is always willing to ride in my car if Colton won't fit in my mom's

*He is Colton's Hero

* He reminds me so much of my brother

*I love to watch the way he shifts from foot to foot when he is talking to someone

*I love that he has learned at such an early age to be too "sick" to go to school

*He is the cutest kid I have ever seen in a baseball uniform

*He always let's Colton sit ridiculously close to watch him play his DS

*He is thoughtful and considers others feelings

*I don't really know how to describe it, but the way he says some words, cracks me up

*He is responsible for the word "Bo-chums"

*He loves my cookies

He is an awesome kid, and there is no one better to be the oldest grandkid in the family. I look forward to many more birthdays and watching him grow into a young man.

Misunderstanding

Yesterday after a full day of playing and tattle telling, Colton crashed at about 6:30. He woke up at 11:30 needing to go potty and wanting to eat. After we acomplished both, it was back to bed. I was exhausted, him, not so much. So I told him he could watch a movie in his room and I would lay down with him. He put the movie in and laid down, when I heard the music, I said "Oh, did you pick Sword in the Stone?" He said "What?" "I said, did you pick Sword in the Stone?" He again said "What?" So this time I turned towards him and said "Did you pick Sword in the Stone??" He then asked "Do I like the rain?" Me "NO, DID YOU PICK SWORD IN THE STONE???!!!" Finally he replied, "Oh, yeah, it's Sword in the Stone"

Emotions

Colton and Aubrey are no strangers to my many moods. They see me happy, angry, frustrated, playful, sad, annoyed, thankful, tired, and many, many more emotions on a daily basis. They hear me laugh and yell everyday. But the times they see me cry are rare.

The other day the kids and I were driving down to my moms. I had been on my cell phone and during my conversation started to cry. Not the one lone tear down my cheek kind of cry, the full blown apologizing that I am such an idiot, sorry you can't understand me kind of cry. When I got off the phone I looked over at Colton and he was just sitting there quiet, looking at me. I smiled and tried to make light of the situation. It worked with Aubrey, I had her fake laughing in no time. But Colton was not fooled. His new church CD was playing, and when he heard my favorite song come on, he said "Mom, it's the good song you like". Then he started to sing the words he knew for me. I asked him to hold my hand, and he did, the whole rest of the drive.

My cup runneth over.

I am so grateful for the experiences I have because I am with my kids everyday. I am so grateful for blogs. I know that sounds corny, but I have never been good at keeping a journal, and because of my blog I will document so much more than I would have otherwise.

My Mothers Day

Scene: 7:20am, Sunday morning, Mother's Day, A mother asleep in bed

Enter: Son, 4 years old, name Colton

Script:

Colton:(gently shake mom's shoulder, whisper) Mom, mom...(mothers eyes open)...Happy Mother's Day, (child hugs mother and lays his head on her shoulder) Because I love you so much...

Mother:(in awe of her amazing son) Thank You so much Colton! That was the best good morning ever! (hold back tears)

Colton: We bought you 3 flowers

Enter: Sister, 2 years old, name Aubrey

Aubrey: Yeah mama, fla!

This was the best Mother's Day morning I have ever had. Thank You Kent, for helping Colton make me happy beyond messure. I love that you guys practiced.

The Added perks:

I Love My Mom

I have always loved hearing my mom tell the story, our story, of how I came in to this world. It is a difficult one. There were ups and downs, and some pretty scary moments. But we made it through. As I grew up, I continued to put her through the ups and downs, from boyfriends to back talking. But we made it through. I think that is the best way to describe our relationship..."We made it through, and came out stronger".

I am so grateful to have the unconditional love of my mother. There was never a road I could travel or a wrong turn made that we couldn't come back from. She has taught me so much about the value of family, and keeping them close. As a kid, no matter how mad I was at her, or how unfair I thought she was being, those dramatic moments a child swears they are unloved! I could always talk myself down, I would think, 'if she didn't love me, she wouldn't have done this, or that' Her love was always evident.

I remember growing up, I would love to sit in the Living Room and listen to her talk to her friends. I have always admired her ability, her gift really, to talk to people. I don't think there is a person out there, who has been in her home, that hasn't felt welcomed. She puts people at ease, and makes them feel like what they are saying has value to her, just because it has value to them. I hope someday people will feel that way in my home.

She created a home that we wanted to be in. I think the most important lesson my mom has taught me, is to be home, and make my home a place my kids and their friends want to be. As much fun as it was to stay at a friends house, it was always more fun to have them stay with me. The treats were endless, bedtimes were loose. I stopped and talked to one of my brothers friends at a store one day, it had been years since he had been to her house, him and my brother were in college when he had been there last. He stilled talked about hanging out at the Landoni's. Whenever any one of us wanted to get a big group together, we knew we could always volunteer our house. It didn't matter how late it was, the noise was fine, and she was usually up with us. I had plenty of friends who would stop by whether I was home or not. I am so thankful for that.

And now, it has come full circle. I see a lot of my mother in me, and I hope that only continues to grow. If not, well, my kids can go live at her house, at least while they are teenagers. I call her constantly seeking advice and asking for her help. Her working at the Warehouse is totally throwing a kink in my neediness. Thank goodness for cell phones.

Our relationship has evolved with time, now I am a mother and wife myself. And I happy to say my mom is one of my very best, most treasured friends. Soon we will all be off to our family vacation. My parents save back all year so we can all go together. With the money they spend on their kids and grand kids, they could go anywhere they wanted, some where new every year. But they don't. Whenever they leave for even a weekend, they come back telling us it's just not the same when we aren't there. I love that her example has taught me that giving of myself and all that I have, reaps the very best gift any mother could ask for.

I am thankful for the things she has taught me, and know I have much more to learn. I no longer look at her through the eyes of a child, but rather the eyes of a wife and mom. It changes things a bit, but my appreciation, respect and love only grows....

Thank You Mom. I love you more than I can say. I know without a doubt, you were meant to be my mother.

Why I'm Worried

This morning when the kids and I were about to leave for preschool, Colton asked for a coat. He never wants a coat. We were in a hurry, but what kind of mother denies her son the warmth of a coat? So I grabbed the first one I found in the hall closet, his white Hurley hoodie. He looked at, made a mopey face and this was our conversation
Colton: I don't want that one
Me: Just wear it, we are in a hurry
Colton:But that is my white one, I want my black one
Me: I don't know where your black one is, whats wrong with your white one?
Colton: Black is a bad color and white is a good color and I want to wear black cause I want to wear a bad color, not a good color
Me:(totally disturbed)You can wear your white one or nothing at all
So, with shoulders slumped and defeat across his face, he walked to the car in his good colored hoodie.

Today Colton and Payson were watching tv, waiting for Kent to get home so they could play Leggo Star Wars. I was in the other room trying to read a magazine and block out the sound of the Disney Channel. Reading the magazine did not work out so well. The sound of my son's voice saying this took my full attention
"Payson if you do that again, I'm gonna tell my mom and she is gonna call the police and they are gonna come take you to jail."

The other day I was upstairs in my room watching 101 Dalmations with Aubrey(she calls it 'ah puppy' and requests it all day long) when Colton walked in with my soda. There was only a little bit left, so when he asked if he could have some I said "Sure just make sure you share it with your sister." When it was gone he asked if he could have a drink from my cup downstairs. I told him I didn't care, and then our conversation went south...
Colton(whiny voice): Well, dad will say no!
Me: What is your dad doing anyway? Is he taking a nap?
Colton(smile spreading across his face, mental wheels turning): Why? Then I can be really quite and sneak down and get some and he won't know?!

After each of these conversations, I of course followed up with best answers I could. Another conversation about being honest and kind to others. I have been talking to him a lot about the choices he makes, and deciding if what he is doing will make Heavenly Father sad or happy. Even though he gives me that evil Chesire Cat grin when I am talking to him, every once in a while he indicates that he might be listening...

Today at lunch, the kids were name calling, no doubt Colton started it, I guess I shouldn't say kids.....Today at lunch Colton and Spencer were calling eachother names, when Amy and I piped up from the kitchen, Colton started telling his friends to "Follow the Prophet"

Questions That Have Been Plaguing Me Lately

• Where have all my forks gone? Scratch that, where have all my good forks gone? Seriously, how do you lose forks? And where did all these weird ones come from? My silverware drawer is full of weird forks that are not mine, and my forks are gone.
• Where do my kids socks actually go?
• What made me think I wanted a dog? Don't get me wrong, I love Vader, and so do the kids. But sometimes when he runs away or chews up my flip flops, or smells, I just have to wonder, what was I thinking....
• Why won't this stupid bullet list just let me put a space between my stupid questions?
  
• Who actually, really, honestly voted for him?
  
• Or him?
• Why do I always forget to check the pockets of my pants before I wash them?
• What is it about Ovaltine that always puts Colton to sleep?
• And why, for the love, does Aubrey insist on taking off her diaper?
• Why is it, that every time Colton has a T-Ball game the weather goes to crap?
  

Kids

The other night, as Aubrey was getting off my bed, she had a bit to much momentum, and had a crash landing. I looked over at Colton, he was looking at me, and we both started laughing. I directed my laughter towards Aubrey in an attempt to get her to laugh along with us instead of crying for the hundred millionth time that day. Holy cow, so the wrong thing to do. She whipped her head around, glared at me, and seriously stormed off to Colton's room, turned around, paused for effect, and slammed the door!

The kids and I went to Mcdonalds with Alicia and Kim. Of course we had a few reports on pushing and hitting. But my favorite was when Ally came to tell me Colton was calling her and Payson names. I call Colton over and start talking to him about being nice to his friends, blah blah blah, and then ask him what he was calling them. I was expecting one of his regulars, when he busted out with Sebulba. He is a character from Star Wars. I am so afraid for him. This kid is obsessed. I am envisioning his first day of kindergarten picture in a jedi cloak. Here is a run down on Sebulba.....
(I didn't write this, just copied and pasted)

Homeworld: Malastare Species: Dug Gender: Male Height: 1.12 meters Vehicle: Collor Pondrat Plug-F Mammoth Podracer, currently owns Anakin Skywalker's Podracer Affiliation: Boonta Eve Classic

An especially dangerous Dug who could once be found roaming the streets of Mos Espa, Sebulba is a shifty Podracing champion who never lets such trite concepts as rules and sportsmanship get in the way of victory.

Sebulba was the reigning champion of the Outer Rim Podrace circuit in the waning days of the Republic. Though no one will dispute that his souped-up, overpowered orange-colored racer was fast, many of his triumphs were afforded through the use of illegal weaponry hidden aboard his vehicle. Sebulba flies dirty, and will even stoop to sabotaging a competitor's Podracer before the race begins.

A Must See

For those of you out there, young and old, you HAVE to watch Surf's Up. It is crazy good. I always try to get Colton to pick it when we are gonna watch a movie together. He of course informs me that if we are going to watch a blu-ray, it's gonna be Ratatouille. He is such a movie snob, what business does a 4 year old have knowing about blu-rays anyway?. Maybe the father-son conversations between my boys need to be monitored. Anyway, back to my point which is I LOVE this movie! The music is really good, and it's just not your typical kids movie. I am no movie reviewer, so I might need to enlist Alicia to watch it and do it for me. Seriously, check it out, you will thank me...

Porn for Women

This is what I read in the Tri-City herald today....
"Porn for women. Ok, now that I have your attention....The subject matter for this story is really not about pornography. It's about what women really want." Author Mary Lou Aguirre

The article goes on to say that a group of women called the Cambridge Women's Pornography Cooperative have published 2 books based on the question "What really turns women on?" There is nothing dirty about these books except the title. My favorite quote from the book was "I can't offer you any solutions, but I am a good listener" Uh, that is something I have waited my whole life to hear! Kent, this is me winkin' back at ya!

Click HERE to read the whole article, I think it's a worthy read.
Click HERE to buy or preview the books

Seriously, check it out...

Food+Friends+Conversation+Time Out of The House= A Rejuvenated Wife and Mother. At least until the kids wake up in the morning...... But I'll take what I can get.

And I'm all like RRRRRR!

Ok, I get that I live in a neighborhood of "Affordable Houses", and with that comes many young families like ourselves. I am all for that. But here's the thing, I can not stand all these kids in the road. Better yet, I can't stand the kids who won't GET OUT of the road. I feel like rolling my window down and yelling at them, "Which one of you wants to learn a lesson today?" and then rev my engine! Seriously! We have a park with a basketball court! I am tired of driving by so slow because I am afraid one of them is going to dart out in front of my car. Here's the best part, the little rodents glare at me because I am going slow! Where are their parents? I mean, come on! It's not that hard children! See a car, translates to get your trash outta the way.

24 Things About Me

1) Four Places I Go Over and Over:
*McDonalds
*Preschool
*Church
*Sun Mart

2) Four People Who E-Mail Me:
*Alicia
*Snapfish
*Lisa
*Blogger no-reply

3) Four of My Favorite Foods:
*Fettuccine Alfredo
*Cheese Pizza
*Big Burrito Tacos
*Hot Wings

4) Four Places I would Rather be Right Now:
*Oregon Coast
*Italy
*At home, all alone
*The movie theater with a fat tub of buttery popcorn

5) 4 People I Think Will Respond:(tag your it, you have to do this too)
*Danielle
*Jared
*Geriann
*Josh and Sarah

6) Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over:
*Family Stone
*27 Dresses
*How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
*Return to Me