30

I've been crying.  Crying because I am 30.

I am an overweight, frumpy, 30 year old with bad teeth.

In my 30's....

Colton will get taller than me

I will probably loose both my grandmas

I will be done having my babies

I will go so gray

My kids will probably start thinking they hate me

My parents will get older

I have always worried I would have some marital crisis in my 30's

One day I'll notice, the kids stopped giving me a kiss and a hug before I leave

I will most likely gain more weight.

I will start to look older, like older-older, wrinkles and stuff



I have never looked forward to my 30's.  When I was a kid, I first started to remember and know how old my parents were when they were in their 30's.  I can't imagine being the age my parents were.  It's so weird.  A lot will change, and a lot of it will be hard.  I think there will be things that will happen that will change how I view time.  Like, "that happened after such and such happened"  "that seems like forever ago, that was before fill-in-the-blank" You know how you measure time sometimes by major events in your life? 

I'm starting to hear Winnie the Pooh sing "I'm just a little black rain cloud...."

I need to go to sleep.  I'm tired all the time now.  I hate being 30.  I'm sure when I am 40, I'll wish to high heaven I was 30 again.  But for now, I am in mourning for my 20's.