It's so weird, sitting here in the dark living room waiting for Paisley to settle down, knowing that the last time I was a blogger she wasn't even born.  I need to write a new All About Me...it'll definitely say something about how much easier it was when my kids only loved me and we weren't so out numbered. 

I still lay with Paisley most nights to go to bed.  She always asks "mom, what do you want to talk about to night?" I usually say something about being too tired, but she always insists we talk about at least one thing.  Then when it's too late or I can't think of anything I tell her it's time to be quiet. And then she asks if she can sing.  And then I say yes.  Her songs range from what's on the radio to completely made up songs about whatever pops into her head. The other night she was singing about how she still loves me even when she's mad at me.

Tonight she's not singing and she's definitely mad at me.  I've been trying to work on my follow through, especially now when I'm trying to get her into a better schedule...she wouldn't quit messing around so I gave her a couple warnings and when she didn't settle down I got up and left.  She's been crying, and gagging, and coughing for at least 10 minutes now. When she asks, begs even for me to come lay with her it actually hurts my heart to say no.  We'll see how long I last before I go in there.  It takes a special person to raise codependent children, and I just happen to be special. Like really, super special.  

Earlier today the girls and I were supposed to go to Spokane to check out Ryan and Steph's new house. My dad started texting me just after 7:00a.m. about a crazy wind warning...dust, low visibility...at first I struggled with the idea that I shouldn't go out of town because it was windy...but I checked the reports he was looking at, listened to his advice and stayed home.  And I'm so glad I did.  The smoke, dust, fires...it was crazy.  There were a ton of accidents and even road closures between here and Spokane.  I always joke about missing the talent branch as I fell from the tree, but I think I hit a pretty freaking huge dad branch.  There were several moments through out the day that I thought about how grateful I was he took the time to check and text me this morning.  Basically every time I looked out the window or checked Facebook and saw another sad/scary update.

I guess it's time I go check on my munchkin...she found her Lowes tool set the other day.

Her favorite thing to play with was the retractable measuring tape.

I'm Back!

 I've debated blogging again off an on for years.  So many factors to consider...would I still be able to write stuff worth reading, would I have the time, and lately the biggest debate has been would my kids hate me writing about them, and just how honest could I really be now that they can read...I looked into project life for the computer, I thought it'd offer a way for me to write but not necessarily publish and share.  As soon as I saw you had to buy a $60-$100 program just to use it, I decided my kids would just have to get over it.

With such a long hiatus I'm not even sure where to start...I guess I could start with turning 40 yesterday. It doesn't even feel write to type it out, let alone say it out loud.  Aubs and I recently watched Sixteen Candles and I can totally relate to Molly Ringwald standing in front of the mirror willing herself to look different.  She ends up walking away disappointed wishing for 3 more inches of bod...I was wishing for 3 inches less...or at the very least 3 inches higher. It's weird how even though I've known 40 was coming, it feels so very different to say "I'm 40" instead of "I'll be 40!"

I had a pretty great birthday despite the life decade change.  Lunch with Denice, Vik, Amy, Lisa, and my mom at Fiesta...at separate tables-stupid covid...Amy, Lisa, and I stopped at the Dollar Store after lunch and as I walked around I told Lisa how much I wished my family would decorate for me. And much to my overwhelming surprise, Aubs, Graycie, Travis, and Addy decorated for me while I was gone! It totally made my day. I got to use my new river floating tubes in Denice's pool for a little afternoon relaxation, then dinner at my favorite Casa Mia.  Again at separate tables.  Which made Graycie and Travis coming with us that much better.  Josh and Lydia came by especially to see me, and my parents, and my siblings. It was a little impromptu party of sorts, and it was perfect.  Oh, and Vik made me noodles!!  And then, at the very end, I got my Mac Book. I told Aubrey that I'd really like one, but figured Kent would be like "that's cute" But he wasn't like that! At least not out loud. Which is why I'm sitting here now, typing on my long neglected blog. It was really such a great day.  It was the kind of day that affirms, in a deep meaningful way, that life is good and I am blessed.  I just have the coolest people in my life.

lunch at Fiesta

floating at Denice's...

Kent trying to cover up...

waiting for Travis and Graycie...

All the Casa Mia pics...