Tying Ourselves To God

I am moving in 2 weeks to a ward I have been attending with friends for the past 2 months (along with the ward I've been in for the past 3 1/2 years). Today was my last day in my old ward due to travel plans next week, so my records were transferred to the new ward today. 2 weeks ago, the new ward bishop approached me and asked me to speak in Sacrament Meeting today. Since I knew I was going to be an official member of the ward as of today, I gladly accepted the invitation. I was assigned to speak on Elder Russell M. Nelson's talk from the Saturday afternoon session of the April 2014 General Conference titled "Let Your Faith Show". It was a great talk to study and ponder and I wanted to share the message I prepared with more than just the 40 or so people who attended that meeting today.

TYING OURSELVES TO GOD

A few years ago a friend invited me to go rock climbing for the first time. When we got to the climbing gym, an employee showed me how to tie the rope into my harness and belay device so I could belay the climber, and how to tie on as the climber as well. As I looked at the wall, covered in holds, only inches apart, I figured I could do it without help. When I got about 5 feet up, I realized I was so very wrong. I couldn’t do it. After several attempts to get up the wall that first day, my arms were tired, and I reluctantly accepted that getting farther than halfway up just wasn’t going to happen. After a great deal of pleading on my part, my friend reluctantly lowered me down by the rope I so adamantly believed I didn’t need.

Fast forward about 6 months. This same friend and I went rappelling, and even though he had never done this particular rappel, he was sure he knew the route to get to the bolts at the top of the wall. We put on our harnesses, but because we were just going to rappel and weren’t climbing, we left our climbing shoes at the bottom. We started scrambling up the side of this rock face, and made our way toward the bolts. There was only one problem – the route we were on stopped. There was no way forward or up. We could see where we needed to go, but it was JUST out of reach. The route we had taken to get to this point was easy enough to get up, but without climbing shoes, would be very difficult to climb back down. We were stuck. As I stood there in the cold November wind, on a 6 inch wide ledge, about 30-40 feet up the mountain, I was certain I was going to die. All I could do was hug a small rock outcropping, hoping I wouldn’t fall. In that moment, we were unprepared. We did not have the tools necessary to get where we were going. However, it was that small rock outcropping that was our answer. My friend pulled the rope out of his bag, dropped enough down the rock face to reach the bottom, and looped it around the outcropping. I thought he was crazy thinking I was going to trust a rope slung around a rock, but next thing I knew, I was tied in and he was reassuring me that the rock was a sturdy anchor as I slowly descended off that 6 inch ledge and down to safety.

In 2012, I was invited to go with my sister’s family on their annual camping trip to Zion National Park. On our 3^rd day, my brother-in-law D, 9 year-old niece M, 7 year-old nephew T, and I set out to hike Angel’s Landing. We made our way a few miles up the long, hot, steep trail to Scout Lookout. From there, it was another half mile across the narrow ridge to the peak of Angel’s Landing. D, never having done this, being deathly afraid of heights and knowing the last half mile or so came with a 1500 foot drop-off on either side, decided before we even left the trail head that he needed to ensure the safety of his children. He had taken 2 pieces of rope several feet long and tied each around his waist and then around the waist of each of his children. We started across the ridge, and although at times, they were literally crawling along the trail, we eventually made it to the top.  We took a few quick pictures and D and the kids set out back down the ridge. When we reunited at Scout Lookout, I found out that there had nearly been a tragedy. T was behind D and lost his footing and slipped. That tragedy was narrowly avoided by D’s forethought to tie his children to him before we even started up the trail.

In each story, there was a rope meant to provide security and reassurance that if we slipped, there would be something or someone there to catch us. If the rope was not there, we became susceptible to the perils of our situation.

In April General Conference, Elder Russell M. Nelson said “The word religion literally means…’to tie back’ to God. The question we might ask ourselves is, are we securely tied to God so that our faith shows, or are we actually tied to something else?”

HOW WE TIE OURSELVES TO GOD:

Elder Nelson states “We might each ask ourselves, where is our faith? Is it in a team? Is it in a brand? Is it in a celebrity? Even the best teams can fail. Celebrities can fade. There is only One in whom your faith is always safe, and that is in the Lord Jesus Christ.”

There are many spiritual harnesses, climbing shoes, chalk, and bolts that help us as we climb through this life. These tools aid as long as we are tied back to God. Some of these spiritual tools include:

·         Learning truth. ALL truth is part of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

·         Keeping commandments – keeping commandments brings blessings. EVERY TIME. Breaking commandments brings a loss of blessings. EVERY TIME.

·         Studying the scriptures – They provide a path, knowledge of how to stay on it, and protection as we go along.

·         Prayer – we obtain inspiration through our faithful prayers and gain guidance in our daily decisions

·         Being the same person everywhere, with everyone, and in every circumstance – We cannot reach the full height of our personal integrity and become our full TRUE self otherwise.

·         Live morally – seek guidance according to God’s laws, not popular demand

·         Live the Lord’s pure religion – become a true disciple of Jesus Christ.

Elder Nelson mentions several things we can have faith in which tie us back to God, but states that “when we speak of faith – the faith that can move mountains – we are not speaking of faith in general but of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ…[which] can be bolstered as we learn about Him and live our religion.”

When we have faith in Christ, when we have our rope firmly in place, we can also have faith in:

Our Heavenly Father and His Plan for us

Our Future

Our Eternal Welfare

Ether 12:4 states, “Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works being led to glorify God.”

I don’t know what’s going to happen in my life, but I know as I put my faith and hope in God, as I anchor myself to His guiding hand, He will guide me where I need to go.

In climbing, there is top-roping, where the rope is already set in at the top of your climb, and lead climbing, where the lead climber goes up with the rope and hooks it into the bolts as he goes and then others can follow the path he has set. In April 2006 General Conference, Elder Scott said “Let the Savior be your ‘lead’ in life. He has said ‘I am…the Rock of heaven…whoso cometh in at the gate and climbeth up by me shall never fall.’ The Redeemer will safely lead you over the most difficult obstacles of life. His laws are absolutely secure anchors of protection that dispel fear and assure success in an otherwise dangerous world. Such a life will certainly provide you peace and happiness…Should you make a wrong move, there need be no enduring problem because of the belaying or help that is available.”

Over the course of several months of climbing, I was able to get farther without leaning as much on the rope and eventually made it to the top. It was BECAUSE of the rope, I was able to do it. I needed the rope to give me assurance that even if I couldn’t do it on my own, there would be something to catch me. The first thing I learned as a belayer was that as you give your climber slack in the line, you always have one hand on the rope, so if they slip, you can catch them quickly. The belayer has to be in tune with the needs of the climber. He had to give slack, to allow me to make mistakes and go where I felt I needed to go without his input, or to pull tight, to lift me up when I didn’t have strength, give me rest from my burdens, support as I continued to climb, and reassurance that the rope would support me if I fell. I also learned to rely on the verbal direction he gave, helping me find the right hand holds and footings to help me reach the top.

So it is with our faith. As we learn to do all things in faith, trusting that our faith will sustain us when we falter, it is that faith, the rope, that connects us to God.  Christ has led the way and has given Himself as an anchor for us to tie our faith through as it ties us back to God.  He has also been the literal Rock of our Salvation. God allows us to make choices, to take the path we feel is correct, but He is also there to give us guidance and direction when we are lost along the way. He also always has His hands on the rope, ready to catch us when we fall. When we have not securely tied our rope, we are prone to falling to sin and making mistakes. As I was literally tied back to my belayer, and anchored around that rock, and as T was literally tied to his father, so can we be tied back to God by letting our faith show and putting our trust in Him.

In 1986, President Monson said “Of course we will face fear, experience ridicule, and meet opposition. Let us have the courage to defy the consensus, the courage to stand for principle. Courage, not compromise, brings the smile of God’s approval…Remember that all men have their fears, but those who face their fears with [faith] have courage as well.”

May we each have faith, and the courage to exercise that faith whenever and wherever necessary to tie ourselves back to God, that we may return to His presence.  

Blog? What's that?

Oh hey there blog...long time no see. Pretty sure I am a huge slacker and need to do some writing pretty soon. I have all these ideas for posts swirling around in my head and then never take time to actually make it happen. Hopefully soon I will feel like I can share it all...

Changes

I have been absent for far too long from the blogging world. My life has seemed to turn upside down and is just starting to flip right side up again.

After wrestling for a long time with some big decisions and tough situations, it is amazing the peace I feel now that I have made decisions about my future. I am excited for the changes I have made and will be making soon.

Big change #1 - A couple months ago a co-worker quit. A replacement was hired, then fired, and another replacement (from another department in our office) was hired. Then 2 weeks ago, another co-worker went on maternity leave for 6-8 weeks. To say that we've been busy and stressed is an understatement. I was really letting it get to me. However - I have recently come to terms with the fact that we're operating 1 person short and have buckled down and try to make each day count. Am I behind in some of my tasks? Yes. Am I letting it get me down? Not anymore! I am doing everything within my power to keep up on the most important tasks and hope that the others don't get TOO much further behind while we make do with the resources we have available.

Big change #2 - Through all the work stress, I was also dealing with a break up. A break up that dragged on through a couple weeks of the "I don't know what's going on stage" and then a couple weeks of "let's still be friends" stage and now we're a couple weeks into the "we don't talk to each other" stage. It has been rough. I'm not ready to say I'm completely over it, but I am definitely moving forward with my life and not letting it get me down. I have come to realize just how different we were in our goals and expectations as well as where we were in our lives - emotionally, spiritually, financially, and socially. Not only were we not on the same page, I've begun to wonder if we were even reading the same book. We were looking for completely different things in a relationship, and I realize now that I was never going to be able to give him what he was looking for, and vice versa. While I wish we were still friends, I am respecting his wishes and keeping my distance for the time being (which is difficult, as we live literally less than 100 yards from each other). Perhaps someday we can at least talk again.

Which leads me to:

Big change #3 - I found out today that I am moving in 5 weeks. I am moving into another house in my ward (this will be house #5 in this ward in 2 1/2 years). I am feeling truly blessed that I was able to find the answer (house) so quickly once I made the decision. I'm confident that this is a positive change and will be a blessing in my life. I have been toying with the idea of branching out and finding a new place to live for awhile - even before I moved into my current house. It was a rushed decision and seemed to be perfect.  There were great girls already living here, it was next door to The Boy, extremely inexpensive, and still close to everything. However, the place is not what I thought it would be. I am unhappy here for various reasons. My health is compromised, and I've been itching for change for awhile. I have been restless and feel like a big part of it is due to my living situation. I am excited to live with the girls I'm moving in with and I think we can benefit a lot from each other. Although I feel like I am closing the book on a great chapter in my life, I think the next chapter is going to be even better.

It really is true that if you want to know if you're making the right decisions you just have to make them and see how it feels. Since deciding to move along through my work, move forward after my relationship ended, and move out of my current house, I have been more at peace and happier than I feel I've been in a long time.

I know the Lord knows what I need and where I need to be in life to be as happy as possible. I am grateful to know He is leading me as I go.

On Valuing and Forgiving Ourselves

It's been a rough day. I can't go into all the details as of right now because some of them are still unclear to me, but I'm hurting. Not for myself but for someone close to me. Someone who means the world to me. Someone who does not seem to see that they are loved and appreciated, cared for and needed. 

This person is struggling with some big things. Things I'm not even fully aware of because they won't talk about it. All I know at this point is that they don't feel like they're living up to their potential. They do not feel like they are achieving their goals or that they are capable of achieving their goals for a variety of reasons. They are unhappy with who they are, beating themselves up for things in the past and not embracing the present and potential future. They do not feel like they can contribute to making others happy unless they are happy with themselves. Ultimately, they do not believe they are a good person.

It's hard to see this person this way because I've been there. I know what it feels like to have no faith in myself. I have felt lost, and alone, and afraid because there was "no possible way anyone else could ever understand what I've been through and how I feel." I've felt the despair and heartache of feeling there was no one I could talk to, no one to turn to when I needed something. I know how it feels to do things that I regret and feel like there is no way back. Guilt, shame, frustration, and heartache are familiar companions.

I also know what it's like to come out on the other side. I know I have value, even on the days I don't FEEL it. I've learned that I am happiest when I am making others happy. I have gone into many service situations feeling generally unhappy with who I was at that time, and almost every time, I've come back out feeling edified and uplifted, feeling useful and worth something to someone else. It's not easy. There are still days where I feel like the most useless, and unlovable person in existence. But through the help of friends, family, and God, I am able to come out of the darkness the surrounds me and into the light.

A comment that was shared in Sacrament Meeting was "Life by the yard is hard, by the inch it's a cinch." We do not have to be everything to everyone RIGHT NOW. We do not have to achieve our goals within minutes, hours, days, months, or even years of setting them. What is important is that we are living each day with the goal to be better, to achieve what we have set forth to do EVENTUALLY. It is much simpler to live each day with small goals and tasks than to try to do it all at once. 

In Relief Society, we discussed character. There were a couple comments that really touched me. The first was that our character only changes when we are striving to please GOD instead of men. The second was that people who value themselves will never undervalue others.

So how is it for those who feel that they can't please God or who do not see their own value? How do we encourage change without discouraging them for who they are now? How do we help them see that even when they don't feel like they are pleasing God, He is pleased with any effort to do so?

I missed Sunday School today, but I understand that an article was shared that focused on forgiveness in marriage. I think the points discussed apply to all relationships, not just marriage or even dating relationships. It applies to all aspects of one person hurting another in any way. 

The presenter of a lecture discussed 6 ways to be more forgiving:

1.       Pray for the person you need to forgive

2.       Have a structured plan – “See [them] for the whole person that they are. See the sin but love the sinner. There’s more to the offender than the offending behavior. Try to see that more. What they did to you is only one little part of who they are and how they have behaved”

3.       Be patient

4.       Set an agenda to work on the issue

5.       Apologize

6.       Ask for forgiveness

How would we be if we all applied these steps to ourselves when we have made mistakes? How would we be if we prayed for help to overcome our trials and errors? If we saw ourselves as God sees us, and loved ourselves even when we do something wrong? If we had a little more patience with ourselves? If we set aside time to make a plan to fix what’s wrong? If we apologized and forgave ourselves and asked for forgiveness from others? How much better would our lives be?

I wish I could tell this person how much they mean to me and have them understand and believe it. I wish they could see that past mistakes do not automatically deny future happiness or blessings. I wish I could show them how living one day at a time, and making each day better than the last will bring more happiness than dwelling on something they did yesterday, or last week, or 5 years ago. I wish they knew that they are loved, that I love them, despite their past. I wish I could show them that the choices and mistakes they have made do not make them a bad person, but that it was just a bad choice that can be overcome.

At this point, words are just words. They seem to hold no meaning to this person. I told them what they mean to me. I told them that I was there for them and that I love them. I told them that I need them in my life. They did not seem to believe or even hear anything I said. They did not seem to WANT to believe it.

Through it all, there is one truth that I have held onto, that I have had to be reminded of from time to time, but have always known. That is - There is no mistake too big, no problem too great, no trial too large that cannot be overcome through Christ.

Moving

My roommate and I had some great help today from The Boy and another friend to get all our furniture and big stuff out of our apartment and over to the new house. Unfortunately, the girls moving out did not get the memo and the space we were told we would have to put stuff was not available. We made it work though.

After 5 hours, we were all ready to collapse! The Boy, my roommate and I went to dinner at Magleby's and then headed home. The Boy and I crashed on the couch and just relaxed for awhile.

Off to Jamba and more relaxing.

3 more days of this...then the unpacking begins!

Busy, busy, busy

Just got off my temple shift. Life is SO hectic these days! I worked until 2:30, visited The Boy for a little bit, came home and moved all the boxes from my living room to our neighbor's garage, showered and got dressed, then headed to my temple shift. Luckily it wasn't too busy tonight so I was able to get off early-ish. Now, off to The Boy's again for a movie night.

Girly Girl?

I am NOT a girly girl when it comes to being pampers - manicures, pedicures, etc. HOWEVER - Today was a pampering day.

At work, we have "Staff Appreciation Day" and as part of the gift we get, they give us a custom toenail painting appointment. Mine was today. I'm excited to have cute toes. I don't even care about toes. What is the deal?

We had a Relief Society activity tonight and we did face and hand scrubs. My face is super soft (honey, sugar, cinnamon scrub) and my arms smell like cookies (brown sugar/vanilla scrub).

I don't really get into girly stuff, but it felt nice to relax and I feel better.

Super productive

Tonight has been so productive! I packed my entire wardrobe except the clothes that are in the laundry and those I kept out to wear the rest of the week. I helped deliver flyers for a Relief Society activity tomorrow night. I emailed our current landlady about moving questions. And most importantly, I watched "Psych" :)

Who has time to breathe?

Seriously...life is crazy busy. Between a co-worker quitting Monday, thus having her job duties split among the 4 of us still there, packing up the house, spending time with The Boy, and just...being...I tend to lose track of time for me.

Hopefully in the next 2 weeks or so things will be settled down and life can be normal again.

I hope...

When it Rains, it Pours

Today, I was talking to my boss about some goals our department has set for this month and where we are in reaching those goals. I was telling her that I can't keep up with everything that is coming in (We're VERY much on track to reach and EXCEED the goals). She made a comment about "when it rains it pours." In this case, it's a very good thing. We've got some great incentives to make these goals happen and I'm excited to see where we end up by May 1st.
Life seems to be going the same way. Everything is coming all at once, and even though a lot of it's GOOD stuff, it's hard to keep up with it all. It's hard to take it all in, process, make sure I'm giving my full attention where needed. It's exhausting.Big changes at work, moving, relationship, personal goals, etc. I'm hoping to catch a break somewhere along the line.
Until then, I'm going to enjoy the rain :)

Never a Dull Moment

I woke late, but was still able to get ready and get to church on time. Church was good. The Boy had to work at the last minute, and my roommate went to a mission farewell, so I sat alone in Sacrament Meeting. I was able to sit with some friends during Sunday School and Relief Society though, which was nice.
After church, I had a short meeting to plan an upcoming Relief Society activity. I got home and changed, then headed to The Boy's work to take leftover Winger's Sticky Fingers to him (I meant to give them to him on Friday).
When I got back, my roommate asked if I would like to go to the nearby park to soak up some sun and read. I had been planning on sitting in my room alone, so I figured getting out would be better.
We headed to the park and instead of reading, I ended up playing "Ticket To Ride" against The Boy on my phone. Haha!
We got home and I made dessert for Munch and Mingle and for a work luncheon tomorrow.
Munch and Mingle was good. It was Taco Night. DELICIOUS! I took some to The Boy afterward. We hung out for awhile watching the last half of "Little Big League" (it was baseball weekend!). Then we went for a walk around the neighborhood. It was a beautiful evening for it.
We came back and watched "Once Upon A Time", then played card games. He taught me Golf and we played a couple hands of Gin Rummy as well.
My life is so busy these days, but it's not hard, stressful busy. It's fun, enjoyable busy :) There's never a dull moment it seems.

Busy Bee

This morning, I woke up to an alarm - something I rarely do on a Saturday. I quickly got showered and dressed and headed to Sandy for the bridal shower of one of my favorite students from one of the schools I used to work at. For being 10 years younger than me, I am amazed at how great of a friend this girl is. She is one of my favorite people in the world and I am so happy for her upcoming marriage to another student from the same school.
After the shower, I drove to the Jordan River Temple. It is one of the few within 2 hours of my home that I had never been to, and now I have. It was beautiful inside and out.
I ran a few more errands, then headed home. I had every intention of cleaning and packing and all that jazz, but that desire soon ran out and I found myself relaxing and watching Hulu for awhile.
I fell asleep at some point and awoke to a call from The Boy asking if I wanted to go get hot chocolate as we had previously discussed.
He came to pick me up and we headed to his favorite place, only to find it closed. We made our way to Denney's where we got pretty horrible hot chocolate. The biscuits and gravy and hashbrowns made up for it :)
It was a great day. It was long, and tiring, but great!

Tired, but Happy

I was out extremely late last night talking with The Boy. We had a serious discussion about ground rules and I think it went well.
I was exhausted all day. I worked from 8-3:30. When I got home, I realized I had forgotten to do something that HAD to be done before the weekend. I got ready for my temple shift and then headed back to the office for half an hour to get it done. Other people rely on me to do that portion of my job so they can do theirs. If I hadn't gone back, they would have been stuck until Monday. Oops.
Temple shift went well. I wasn't feeling well at the beginning of the shift, but I ate a little and started to feel better shortly after.
Heading to The Boy's to watch "Moneyball". It's baseball weekend :)

42

The Boy and I went to see "42" tonight. It is the story of Jackie Robinson and the de-segregation of professional baseball in the 1940s.

AMAZING movie! I was riveted the entire time. There is so much to that story that I never knew.

It's funny, but it makes me want to go back and read a book I read in elementary school - "In the Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson".

Packing

Packing is the pits.

Card Shark

The Boy has been teaching me different card games the last few days. I now know the basics of Gin Rummy and Swedish (I don't know if it has another name). It's fun to just chill and play cards and talked.

Runner's High

For the first time since October 15th, 2012, I RAN! My roommate invited me to go on a short walk/jog with her, and I accepted.
We only went about a mile and a half, but I was able to run with no apparent ankle pain during or after. WHAHOO!
Good thing, since I have a race to train for on June 8th. Haha!

Busy Day

Today was crazy busy! Church from 9-12 as usual, followed by the blessing of my friends' baby boy. After the baby blessing, I came home for a little and worked on my photo sorting project. Went to my ward's Break the Fast for a little bit to visit with people, then headed to my brother's house in Lehi for his birthday dinner. After dinner, I headed back down to Dessert Night, then to The Boy's. We hung out and played cards. It was a pretty good day overall.

CPR Certified

I had mandatory CPR training today for work. I am now officially certified to save lives. Whahoo...

Joe's Cafe

After work, The Boy took me to a place called Joe's Cafe for lunch. Its a little hole in the wall place in Orem you wouldn't even know was there if you weren't looking for it. We walked in and I immediately felt like this was a place I would come to often. The owner greeted The Boy as if they were family (calling him his "nephew" throughout our visit). He asked for an introduction and then immediately swept me into a hug. The Boy went behind the counter and made himself at home, grabbing glasses for water, and later getting samples of various menu items for me to try.
The food was amazing. I ended up with a bacon cheeseburger, and The Boy got a tuna melt. We talked with the owner (Joe) throughout our meal. He was cracking jokes and treating us like his kids. It was an amazing experience.
I think some of my other favorite burger joints just found their superior.

Hey Marseilles

Tonight, my friend Amanda took me to see a band called Hey Marseilles up in SLC. I hadn't heard of them before she bought my ticket a couple months ago. I was a little skeptical.
After walking down a rundown alley to get to the venue, which was literally an old shed, I was even MORE skeptical. The opening act didn't help at all.
However - when the band stepped on the stage, I was immediately drawn in. They were AMAZING! If they ever come back around, I would love to go see them. However, if they play in the same venue, I might just have to settle for listening to an album.

Sorting

Today I got all m books packed and the boxes from under my bed. I also started a project that will probably put the rest of packing on hold. Haha!
I realized I have photos ALL OVER, so I decided that I needed to put them all in one place, so I started sorting them. I got through 1 of 6 boxes. It's gonna take awhile...

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Tonight The Boy took me to see "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" at the Hale Center Theater in West Valley. It was AMAZING! I'v never really loved the movie, but the play had me captivated from the opening number all the way to the bows. I felt so connected to the story and with the characters. It was such a professional performance by all the actors, young and old. I will definitely be returning to HTC.

Good Guy

I was having an extremely stressful, busy day at work, and to help me out, The Boy brought me lunch. We were able to eat together and then sit and talk for a little while before I had to go back to work. It made my day. He is such a good guy.

Great Sunday

It was another great day of General Conference. The Boy joined me for part of the 2nd session before he had to go to work. He came back after work and we went on walk. We had a great discussion and things are really falling into place. We decided to make Sundays "walk day/evening".
Life couldn't be much better :)