Project Kjetil

Another Sign of Good Things, and Marinating on Macrosomia

Okay laydeez, who considers a hummingbird to be one of their lucky signs?

Because that cherry tree I mentioned? This morning, with the temperature hovering in the thirties, a hummingbird came to visit. If that’s not a sign of something wacky and wonderful, I don’t know what is.

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Next topic-Macrosomia

In the days since last Thursday’s ultrasound showed that Moon Man may* be as large as 10 pounds at 40 weeks gestation, I’ve taken some time to ponder how I feel about the possibility of a scheduled c-section (with no induction or ‘test of labor’). After all this pondering, I’m still not sure.

There are so many messages swirling around me on this point:

• My doctor’s hope for me is that I go into labor spontaneously right around 37 weeks (which would put the dude in the mid eight-pound range), allowing me to labor and deliver without much intervention (aside from the epidural, which I plan on having). I join her in hoping that’s the case.
• If I’m not able to go into labor on my own, my doctor highly recommends scheduling a c-section rather than inducing. At first, this seemed a little too extreme to me. Then I did a little research that helped me understand where she’s coming from, and I’m starting to agree with her.

• Studies on macrosomic babies (larger than 90th percentile) show that they don’t tolerate labor as well as average babies, and that induction (with stronger, unnatural contractions) can be especially traumatic for them
• Induction and the interventions that come with it can increase one’s chances of c-section
• Laboring to the point of exhaustion or distress (either for me or for him), THEN going through surgery seems less than ideal

M thinks that the doctor is being overly conservative, and wonders whether she’s making the recommendation to cover her own as.s rather than for the health/safety of me and Moon Man.

M is also concerned that I’ll be knocked out of commission for longer and she’ll bear the brunt in those first newborn days

My short-term disability company seems to be rooting for the surgery, as they’ll pay me at 100% of salary for 8 weeks if I have a c-section (vs. 6 for a vaginal delivery). This would give me the entire 12 weeks at 100% pay, which is enticing, sad to say.

Having a c-section (especially without going through labor) could delay the arrival of my milk or otherwise interfere with breastfeeding. (As could having PCOS.) This slays me. I plan to be in contact with La Lech.e League this week to learn more about breastfeeding after a c-section. I’m willing to be so overprepared it’s silly, provided it encourages early success in the breastfeeding arena. I may also choose to start pumping early to naturally induce/encourage labor.This is just a start of my ponderings on the subject. I appreciate all of the supportive comments from you so far, and would love to get more feedback, especially if you’ve had a c-section. Tell me… if you had it to do over again, would you have gone scheduled rather than laboring first? Why or why not?

December 29, 2009 at 11:28 pm 15 comments

Survey Says… “You’ve Got a BIG Boy in There!”

Today’s ultrasound (which included a surprise 3D session… nothing I would have paid for but sort of cool, if you don’t mind your child looking like a partially-melted wax model) predicted Moon5’s current weight to be… 7lb7oz.  As in ready-to-be-born sized.  As in 10 pounds at full term.  Whoa.

I feel some guilt that my own weight gain (29 pounds over 34w4d) has caused this macrosomia (aka Big Bebehness), but the doctor reassured me that I may be made to make ’em big.  Since his head circumference is the largest part about him (coming in at 40w3d size… today… gulp), he would have trended large regardless.

I added one of the 3D shots to the ultrasound gallery on the P-Wordness page, plus a belly shot from today (photo credit to Kiddo, which explains why I’m kneeling… the ones taken from below were just too ginormous for words).

My doctor hopes I’ll go into labor on my own around 37 weeks.  If I don’t go on my own, she says that the likelihood of a c-section is quite high.  She prefers not to induce large babies, as inductions often lead to c-sections that are preceded by traumatic labors.  Her philosophy is to either wait for labor to start on its own (on or before the due date) or to schedule a c-section and skip induction altogether. 

I’ll need a little time to digest this, but don’t currently feel too angsty about that part of it.  My birth plan, if you can call it that, is far more focused on the wee one’s healthy delivery and the bonding moments that we’ll have after the birth than on the actual labor portion.  I’ll need to research how best to prepare for a c-section and its subsequent recovery, as well as how to make family bonding a priority despite a c-section.

Enough about that… like I said, I need to ponder.

For those of you who celebrate, Merry Christmas! 

For those of you who don’t, I hope that you have a wonderful day on December 25th, however you choose to spend it!

December 24, 2009 at 9:23 pm 10 comments

Addendums to Today’s Randomness *ETA Two Very Special Families*

Turns out I wasn’t done after all!

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I’ve got to start by strongly suggesting that you get your sweet self over to eeny meeny miney mommy’s blog to see their latest Christmas ornament. It’s the most beautiful one I’ve seen in quite some time.

There are many many bloggers with good news, some of which I can shout from the rooftops, some not so much. (If you fit the second group, know that I’m excited for you and thinking good things about you and your current-and-future-family.). In really-screwed-up-chronological-disorder, congratulations to Two Girls Path to Parenthood on the arrival of baby Shane; to Gayby Rabies for proving that strong feelings of non-pregnancy can be misleading; to Creating a Miracle, whose Sweetpea became baby Ryan; to Next In Line on the birth of baby Ziya; to The Adventures of Jen, Tiff and Mr. Munchkin on the arrival of Connor; to the lovelies at Baby Blueprint on their BFP; to Better Than a Kitten, new moms to baby Daniel; and… *ETA An Offering of Love on baby Birdie; and Adding Baby on baby Owen;* and… I’ll bet I’m still forgetting someone(s). Will add as appropriate, and sorry if I’m a jerk for forgetting you.

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There are bloggers in sad or stuck or confused places right now too. It would be uncool to post shout-outs, of course, but I want you to know that I’m thinking about you too. As you make small steps towards recovery from depression, start to formulate a plan (or non-plan) after a loss, or start down a new path, or take a much-needed hiatus, I am cheering you on, knowing that you’re doing the right thing for yourself at the right time. I wish it were easier for you, though. I wish I wish I wish.

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While M and Kiddo were visiting The Industrial City last weekend, they got to spend a few days with our nearly-newborn nephew, E. Every time I talked to M, she had some new anecdote to share about him. She is, clearly, smitten, even though she did point out the obvious with, “Babe, they don’t DO very much at this age.” True, but what’s more wonderful than just staring at someone who has absolutely nowhere to go, nothing to do, and nobody to see? Babies help you live in the moment. It’s a wonderful–if temporary–priority shift, if you ask me.

Last night, we watched some video that M took of baby E while she was getting him ready for bed. He’s mostly just flailing and cooing, but in the sweetest way possible. Kiddo was so excited to relive that little moment that she kept knocking the camera out of my hands. So anyway, the moral of that story… my little family is all abuzz about baby boys. Which is awesome, since we’re having one of our own in 3-7 weeks.

Speaking of soon, I’m starting to get the “Any day now, eh?” sort of comments from strangers. I must admit that it does look that way, at least to my somewhat untrained eye (well, it was trained… to avoid staring with envy and sometimes rage at other peoples bellies). I do think he’s dropped a bit, because I can take bigger breaths lately, but that’s just a guess. Thursday’s ultrasound will tell us much more about his current coordinates.

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Enough randomy for today. Probably. Hopefully.

December 23, 2009 at 12:29 am 2 comments

Mishmosh

I love that word. I don’t use it out loud. Ever. But I love it nonetheless.

And now for some more non-sequiturs, as that’s how my mind is working today.

Small man and I were up for two hours in the middle of the night. I’m pretty sure he woke me up rather than the other way around, but it doesn’t really matter. Suffice to say there was some sort of tumbling routine going on in my central sector, and there was also some mad blog-reading going on. I can tell I should start going to bed earlier to allow for regular sleep disruptions.

After a freezing spell in early December followed by balmy weather recently, the cherry tree that I can see from my office window is… blooming! It’s beautiful and a little heartbreaking, since I don’t know if this will disrupt its springtime bloom. All I know is that I’ve always associated that tree with signs of hope.

• In 2007, it bloomed just as I was beginning an indefinite hiatus from TTC. While that part was unbearably sad, I was able to convince myself that when it bloomed again, things would be brighter.
• When it bloomed in 2008, I was celebrating a full year of stability, and starting to feel hopeful again.
• When in bloomed in 2009, I had just lost my second pregnancy in what seemed to be the kindest way possible… I knew it was hopeless, but got to hold onto hope anyhow. Even as I contemplated leaving TTC behind, I saw that pregnancy as somewhat of a blessing.
• As it blooms now, I have hope, big big hope, for certain sisters out there. If you think I might mean you… I do. That’s the best way to put it for today.

My newish doctor, who freakin’ rocks btw, had an available appointment yesterday, so I was able to get checked out for my suspected sinus infection. She agreed that I not only have all the classic signs, but also added that I was “boogerific,” which is the perfect medical description in my book. I started amoxicillin last night, and now have to figure out how to work in those three daily pills around my iron supplements (which need to be taken opposite my prenatals and may interfere with the absorption of antibiotics) and my prenatals/Prevacid/fish oil too. Since I was up in the middle of the night, I started the rotation early. I figure if I take everything about two hours apart without any conflicting food (e.g. iron + milk = no good), I’ll be set by midnight or so, right? Ridiculous. But… glad to have the antibiotic, since I didn’t want to get a full-blown infection that caused a fever. I’ll need to eat a lot of yogurt (except at iron time) to stave off a yeast infection, but that’s just part of the fun.

My great uncle included this sentence in his card to my mom: “What an exciting year for you. Infanticipating a new grandson. Lucky you!” That great uncle of mine (who has always reminded me of a cross between Jimmy Carter and television gardener Bob Hume) made up a fun new word, I think?

/non-sequiturs… for now

December 22, 2009 at 7:22 pm 2 comments

My Year According to Facebook

While I’ve only updated my status about four times this year, it seems to have picked up the good stuff… bacon, Moon5, hot cocoa, Glee! and Snuggies.  Thanks for the idea, Stacie!

December 20, 2009 at 3:46 pm 2 comments

Much Calmer Now, Thanks to YOU (Pregnancy Post)

And you and you and you…. and also you. Truly, I appreciate it.

My feet continue to be silly-looking with the puffiness. I had absolutely no idea I was vain about my feet, but it turns out that I am. My everyday ankles are svelte I tell you, SVELTE! (No really, they are. Even when I was 60 pounds overweight, my ankles looked awesome. Even the non-effusive M says so.)

Early New Year’s Resolution: get a pair of pretty new shoes that show off my lovely ankles once I figure out my postpartum shoe size. Perhaps I should also resolve to start wearing pants with waistbands. I am sooooooooo not looking forward to waistbands. But I digress.

Other than the puff, I have no reason to worry about pre-eclampsia now, and worrying isn’t going to make anything better, so the worry it is receding. Your encouraging words really helped, just so you know.

In other news, I have a little me-kend coming up. M and Kiddo are going to South San Francisco (The Industrial City) for a family party, and I’m… not! Although I do love her family, I can’t say I always love visiting them for the holiday party. Their house is so loud. So so loud. And that’s just with her parents around. Add the extended family (about 60+) and it becomes a no-place-to-sit-no-way-to-catch-five-minutes extravaganza. In sharp contrast, I’ll have the house to myself for three full days. I can hardly wait. I will miss my girls, of course, and will be slightly irritado if I go into labor early without M around, but for now I’m looking forward to a very lazy weekend.

December 11, 2009 at 12:04 am 3 comments

So Much To Say… (Pregnancy Post)

… or so I think to myself when I’m far away from a computer from which I can post.

Yet when I find myself in front of a trusty computer with some time on my hands, I try to write and nothing comes out. Strangely parallel to a certain symptom that has plagued me throughout the pregnancy… I’ve got me a serious case of blogstipation, people.

For those of you playing along at home, I’m 32 weeks pregnant and rather solidly into the third trimester. This is awesome and fantastic news. Chances are that if the Moon Man landed today, he would survive (with a lot of help from modern medicine, but survive and likely thrive nonetheless). I’m relieved by this fact.

However… I’ve had a mental shift in the last few weeks. Gone is the blissful semi-dumbness I was enjoying for most of the pregnancy. It has been replace, unfortunately, by fear that I will fail this little dude in the home stretch. I am especially afraid of pre-eclampsia.

I had a minor scare two weeks ago, two days after my 29-week appointment, at which I discovered that I had packed on 12 pounds in four weeks without even noticing it. That unexplained weight gain, coupled with sudden swelling, a headache, blurred vision and an elevated blood sugar (131 one hour after eating poorly) seemed like a nasty portent that pre-e was in my future (or even my present.)

I called the OB’s office and pretty much asked to come in. When I did my “routine” and found that I’d gained another two pounds AND had trace protein and glucose in my urine, I just about freaked the eff out. But then things got reassuring. My blood pressure was normal. Not high-normal. Just normal. They did a non-stress test and monitored the baby for 20 minutes. All was well with his heartbeats and my (lack of) contractions. They did the PIH panel, and a few days later I got the call that everything “looked good” on that front.

Okay, fine, apparently I was worried for nothing. But the worry, it’s still nagging at me. Reminding me that bad things can happen.

At my 31 week appointment last Friday, I was up another two pounds since the NST incident, and now my “height of fundus” is measuring a full week ahead. Crap. Sort of. I talked to my OB and told her that the swelling was making me very nervous. She encouraged me to call or come in whenever I need to, told me the weight gain wasn’t ridiculous (I’m at 26 total for the pregnancy), and said that if my blood sugars are normal (which they are), she’s not worried. Since I am measuring a bit ahead, she’s going to “sneak in” a growth ultrasound around 34 weeks to double-check that he’s not too huge and to confirm his position (which she thinks is head-down).

M wasn’t able to come to the appointment due to our crazy school pickup schedule. When I relayed everything to her, she’s not worried either. She was a little worried about the measuring ahead piece (since she always measured right on track with Kiddo, who was eight pounds), but is content with the doctor’s judgment.

This is where I admit that I’m not. I’m worried, and I wish I could articulate why, since there is no concrete proof that I should be worried about anything at all.

Yes, my feet are swelling, as are many (most?) pregnant women’s feet by this point. The swelling isn’t even all that dramatic, and I’m still wearing the same shoes I wore before.

Yes, I gained weight rapidly at the end of the second trimester, but I’m still in semi-normal range overall.

But my blood pressures have all been normal. My blood sugar is normal. I did fine on the PIH panel. This evidence should override my two relatively minor complaints.

Why, then am I still worried?

My acupuncturist-turned-prenatal-massage-therapist suggested that my fears may have to do with seeing M develop pre-eclampsia at the end of her pregnancy. That’s a good theory. One part of her induction went pretty wonky and she DID have to be resuscitated with epinephrine after a slight overuse of magnesium sulfate… I had kind of forgotten about that, since her ultimate labor and delivery story is so serene.

I think another reason for the fear is that these have been the first actual bumps in an otherwise smooth pregnancy. One which I’ve been so grateful for that I feel sheepish complaining about anything at all. It’s like I’m asking “How did I get so blessed anyway? And when will that other shoe be dropping?” all in one breath.

A third reason, though, is that my instinct might just be telling me to PAY ATTENTION. While I need to figure out a way to do so without overdoing the worry, I think I’ve got to listen to that voice. My instincts are usually pretty good, and I would kick myself for ignoring it if something went awry.

So the goal is balance. Lots of water, feet elevation, walking (vs. standing), rest, relaxation, and gratefulness should help. They can’t hurt. I just wish I could get back to that blissful lack of worry. That was nice.

December 8, 2009 at 12:49 am 12 comments