2007 - At a Glance

December 17, 2007 - M/C #2 6w0d

December 17, 2007 - 1st U/S scheduled

December 5, 2007 - 16dpIUI Beta = 185

December 3, 2007 - 14dpIUI Very faint BFP! Beta = 73

November 19, 2007 - CD12, IUI #4

November 17, 2007 - CD10, Ovidrel Trigger shot

November 14, 2007 - 1st appt with Urologist

November 8, 2007 - CD1 Here we go again!

October 29, 2007 - SPA complete. We wait for results.

October 18, 2007 - Regroup appt. DH referred for SPA test

October 15, 2007 - 14dpIUI BFN. Stopped the Prometrium

October 1, 2007 - CD15, IUI #3

September 29, 2007 - CD13 Ovidrel Trigger shot

September 20, 2007 - CD4 Ultrasound scheduled. All clear. Starting meds for IUI #3. Menopur and Follistim again.

September 15, 2007 - 14dpIUI BFN. Stopped the Prometrium

September 1, 2007 - CD15, IUI #2

August 30, 2007 - CD13 Trigger shot

August 21, 2007 - Ultrasound showed all clear after injectable cycle. We are good to go on IUI #2! Menopur days 4-7 and Follistim days 8-12.

August 18, 2007 - AF arrived :(

August 4, 2007 - Ultrasound scheduled

August 1, 2007 - CD11 IUI completed. 2WW begins.

July 30, 1007 - CD9 Trigger shot

July 24-30, 2007 - Injectable meds. Menopur days 3-5 and Follistim days 6-9.

July 22, 1007 - Officially starting the next cycle.

July 20, 2007 - Ultrasound showed "all clear"! I get to discontinue the bcps! AF is now welcome to return.

July 5, 2007 - Another ultrasound. The cyst has shrunk, but only by half. We give it another two more weeks.

June 20, 2007 - CD21, follow up ultrasound to check on the cysts. More bad news. I still have a cyst. This cycle is no longer a mini-cycle. At least two more weeks of BCPs.

May 31, 2007 - Start of cycle #17 ultrasound shows there are still cysts. Short cycle induced with bcps.

April 29, 2007 - Start of cycle #16 ultrasound shows more cysts. Another "off" cycle.

March 30, 2007 - Start of cycle #15 and first injectable meds cycle. Injections day 4-11 and hcg trigger on cd12 and 5, 8 & 11 dpo.

February 28, 2007 - Start of cycle #14 ultrasound shows cysts again. No meds this month.

January 29, 2007 - Start of cycle #13 - back on Clomid 100mg & Tamoxifin 10mg + hCG trigger on cd13.

So many pills...

and we aren't even really old yet. This is the cocktail of supplements that are recommended for the boys.

If this is what it takes to help increase our numbers, I guess this is what we put ourselves through. 14 pills in the morning and 14 pills in the evening.

Each of these little pills is supposed to do something.

Arginine—Take 4 gr daily. Needed to produce sperm. If the sperm count is below 10 million per ml, arginine probably will not provide any benefit.
Coenzyme Q10—Take 10 mg daily. Increases sperm count and motility.
Flaxseed oil—Take 1 tbsp daily. Is a source of essential fatty acids.
L-carnitine—Take 3-4 grams daily. Required for normal sperm function.
Multivitamin-mineral—Buy a high-quality product and take one serving size (differs from brand to brand).
Selenium—Take 200 mcg daily. Improves sperm motility.
Vitamin B-12—Take 1000 mcg daily. A B-12 deficiency reduces sperm motility and sperm count. Even if no deficiency exists, B-12 supplementation may help men with a sperm count of less than 20 million per milliliter or a motility rate of less than 50%
Vitamin C—Take 500 mg 2 times daily. Is an antioxidant.
Vitamin E—Take 400 IUs 2 times daily. Is an antioxidant and improves sperms’ ability to impregnate.
Zinc—Take 15 mg 2 times daily. Required for a healthy male reproductive system and sperm production.

After about 7 weeks of taking these supplements, our last IUI had much improved numbers, so it would seem as if it's working.

Merry Christmas - from our family to yours

Goodbye for now

For nearly two weeks now we've been pregnant. We went in for the first ultrasound this morning; but we already knew the news would be bad. Melissa began bleeding last night around midnight, while I slept ... unknowing ...

... and like that... our little angel is gone. May the light shine on you, and the last embrace of the mother welcome you home.

We've had our little secret for a week now!

One week down and one to go before our first u/s appt. Apparently living life in two week increments is just the way it's gonna be!

I am so glad I have friends both in real-life and in online communities to share this exciting time with.

I have gotten such nice emails and comments from so many people. It really amazes me the love and support you get even from complete strangers when you really need it the most.

Thank you.

Over achiever!

I just got the call back on beta #2. My numbers more than doubled in less than 48 hours. That is such a relief considering they thought my number was a little low on Monday.

From 73 to 185 = 153% increase. Yeah!!!

OMG - it's still sinking in. I can't believe it. What a Christmas miracle indeed.

So, I tested yesterday...

and for the first time in nearly a year, I saw a 2nd line! YEAH!!! I'm so excited and cautiously nervous at the same time.

In fact, I was so nervous yesterday, I couldn't even create a post about it. It was 14dpIUI and the line was still pretty faint. I went in for a blood test, but it was too late in the day to get the results back the same day.

This morning I got up and tested again and the line is definitely darker. I feel a little better, but I can't wait to hear the results of the beta #1 and then of course beta #2.

Results for beta #1 = 73

Looks like an EDD will be 8/11/08. If all goes well, I'll have my first u/s at 6wks on 12/17.

10dpIUI - 4 days til testing

The 2ww is so uneventful compared to the first part of the cycle. Once the IUI is done I don't have any more appointments for the cycle.

I don't really have any updates. I'm still getting what I like to call "I did too many crunches" cramping in my abdomen, but that's really about the only "symptom" I'm feeling. I know, it's still too early for much else.

The box from Repromedix arrived today. I'm glad I opened it because it has cold packs that needed to be put into the freezer. The step-by-step color coded illustrated instructions that came along for the specimen collection are quite daunting. This is serious stuff. Are you sure we should be doing this at home? Do we need to be in a sterile environment? It makes me feel like if you mess up one tiny little step the entire test(s) will be no good. I just have to say, I love the bio hazard warnings on the baggies. Eeeks.

So, what's included? 1 specimen collection cup, 1 plastic transfer eyedropper, 2 orange cap tubes and 2 orange labels, 1 blue cap tube and 1 blue label, 1 Styrofoam 2-piece box, 2 cool packs, 1 cardboard shipping box, bubble wrap, red tape (always gotta be some red-tape!) and a FedEx air bill and diagnostic bag.

Collection pick-ups are Monday-Thursday only, so hopefully we can get one scheduled for early next week.

The Lucky Knot

This afternoon I went to the mailbox and there it was. The new bracelet I asked fellow T-TTC Nestie Gretchen to make for me.

The Lucky Knot was a Trollbead that I was given for my birthday by one of my very best friends. Instead of investing money into a full Trollbead bracelet, I asked Gretchen if she could make something for me featuring the Lucky Knot bead.

After I had decided not to do a Trollbead bracelet, I had actually exchanged the bead for something else at a little local specialty shop. However, that little bead kept calling to me. The Lucky Knot was very symbolic of our friendship. We met on the Knot back in the days of wedding planning, and she wishes us much luck in our pursuit for baby and life in general. And most of all, I'm lucky to have a great friend like Jess. That was it! I had to have something made using the bead.

Of course Gretchen came to mind immediately! It was fun working with her in selecting the rest of the beads to go into the bracelet. I have to say, I love it!

Thank you Jess and Thank you Gretchen!
Please visit Gretchen's blog for a look at some of her work.

IUI #4 - Complete!

It was another smooth sailing IUI procedure. The doctor did it again today and I truly think it makes a huge difference. He takes his time, talks to me all the way through it, and keeps my mind off of what's really going on.

We had our best collection going in today, so I can only hope we see a different outcome in 14 days.

Tomorrow morning I start back up on the Prometruim and then test on December 3rd. What a Christmas miracle this would be.

Update!

Wow. That was quick. I heard back already.

At least one more day of stims. I'll go back for u/s and E2 on Saturday. So now it's looking like the IUI will be Monday. Monday will still only be cd12, so that's good. That also gives the lining a few days to thicken up along with the follies a chance for a last minute growth spurt!

Getting there...

today is cd8 and I've had 7 days worth of injections. Menopur 150iu for 4 days and then Follistim 175iu for 3 days, along with hCG 100iu on each of those days.

It's looking like IUI could be either this Saturday or Sunday. It seems a little early, but if the follies and estrogen say we're good, I guess I'll go with it.

As of today there are 4-5 good sized follies. Some of those are still at about 14mm so we'd like to see them get a little bigger if we can.

I'm just waiting on a phone call to see what's happening and to get our timeline. Yeah!!!

You know how I love to wait....

well now we get to wait another 6 wks for results from the urologist appt. We go back for a follow-up on Jan 3rd.

Initial exam looks good. The possibility of a variocele has been ruled out. Physical examination is fine. The doctor said he doesn't see anything that should be preventing us from getting pregnant.

So, now it appears that we truly are unexplained. The urologist did request a few more tests for completion sake. We're testing hormone levels, sperm DNA and Karotyping.

I really just want some answers!

My aunt is here

and this time she's even welcomed. She (AF) showed bright and early this morning after getting the all clear to start a new cycle and the okay to stop bcps on Monday.

This time we are doing things a little different. I'm starting Menopur 150iu on cd2 instead of 3 or 4 like normal. Also, instead of using the diluent that comes with the Menopur, I'll be using 100iu of hCG. This is supposed to help boost the thickness of my lining.

It'll be 3 days at the 150iu dosage and then back to the clinic on Monday for u/s and E2 draw. From there, we'll probably make the switch to Follistim for the remainder of the stim period.

If my response is anything like it's been in the past, we're looking at about 10 days worth of stims, then Ovidrel trigger and IUI #4 following 36 hours later. My guess is sometime early to mid week of Thanksgiving for the actual IUI.

We might just have something to be thankful for after all!

Ooops - Sorry - forgot to update!

Yesterday was what, cd21? I finally went in and had a baseline ultrasound. All clear. I'm good to go. Yeah!

I stopped the pill and expect AF to arrive soon. When she gets here, I'll call the RE to figure out if I'm starting stims on cd3 or 4. We have the Thanksgiving holiday coming up so we're still playing the time manipulation game just a little bit.

So far I know I'll be starting with Menopur again just like in the past, but this time instead of using the mixing saline that comes with the Menopur, I'll be using highly diluted hCG instead. Supposedly this will help with the lining issue? We'll see. He did give me a couple of days of diluted hCG before the Ovidrel trigger last cycle to help boost the lining.

Also, in response to the less than ideal SPA results, we got a referral to one of the Urologists at the U of MN. Lucky for us, there was a cancellation, and we got an appointment for next Wednesday, Nov 14th.

Stay tuned...

"Borderline normal"

After all that waiting, the results from the SPA are back, and that's exactly what we were told. Don't you just love that categorization? We were looking for 50% to be normal. We scored 47%.

Just for fun, here's Merriam-Webster's definition of borderline:

1 a: being in an intermediate position or state : not fully classifiable as one thing or its opposite b: not quite up to, typical of, or as severe as what is usual, standard, or expected c: characterized by psychological instability in several areas (as interpersonal relations, behavior, and identity) but only with brief or no psychotic episodes 2: situated at or near a border — borderline noun

It's back to the RE for me on Monday morning. Hopefully we'll get the all clear to start on a new injectable/IUI cycle.

The wait continues...

so DH had his test yesterday. Now we have to wait 5-7 more days for the results to be faxed to my RE's office.

I'm planning on calling them tomorrow just to let them know the test was done, and to watch for the results. Also, hopefully I can get an idea of how much longer I'll be on these darn pills before I can get going on another cycle. We are getting close to having to work around Thanksgiving - already.

Really, I just hope we can time this just right to not interfere with the long weekend.

More waiting

If it isn't one thing, it's another.

As if breaking cycles into two week increments wasn't bad enough, add to that waiting for a darn appointment that isn't even your own!

Hubby is going in on Mon, Oct 29th for an SPA test. After almost 22 months and 8 medicated cycles, 3 of which included IUI with injectables (well, 1 of those had poor response and shouldn't really be counted), it's time to see what those little buggers can do!

I'm currently back on bcps to regulate my cycle and help manipulate cycle start timing after the results of his test come in. Hopefully it won't take too long to get the results. My RE did say he'd keep me on them for at least 2 weeks anyways.

Back from vacation.

Rested. Relaxed. De-stressed. And not pregnant. I was so hoping to have a little souvenir decide to tag along with us through Arizona.

I had such good feelings about IUI #3. I had 4 good follicles and just felt different this time. I tested today at 14dpIUI and it was clear as day negative. I stopped the Prometrium and expect AF to arrive in a couple of days.

What's next? Doctor mentioned maybe more testing before we go ahead with another cycle. I really think we need to step back and regroup. Something we are doing just isn't working.

Every day we are getting closer and closer to the milestone of trying for 2yrs. We never would have guessed it would be this difficult.

Ahhh vacation!

Tomorrow we leave for Arizona. I am so excited! We haven't had a decent vacation in a long time. Vacation will be just the beginning of my de-stressing. Today is my last day at my job! After 12 yrs, I turned in my resignation to go back to school. I can almost feel the tension releasing already. One less stress in my life can only help in our quest for baby.

Vacation will also consume week two of the 2ww. What better way to keep myself from obsessing. We'll be home in time to test on hubby's birthday. Who knows, I triggered on my birthday, so why not! It sounds perfect to me.

I'll miss everyone when I'm gone. Can't wait to see all the updates and BFPs that come in while I'm away.

Now that's more like it!

I'm back from IUI #3 and all is well. I got to have the doctor perform the procedure today, and I really think that made a huge difference.

As of Saturday there were 4 good sized follicles, so we have a few targets this time.

Tomorrow I start up on the Prometrium again and continue taking the baby aspirin. Every little thing has to help in some way.

We go on vacation during week two of the 2ww, so I'll have that to distract me from over analyzing every little "symptom".

I'm hoping that 3rd time will be the charm.

IUI #3 finally set

Sorry I haven't updated sooner. It's been a crazy week of appointments, multiple ultrasounds and blood draws. But, we finally have a plan!

I'm sitting with 4 good follicles between 18-22mm and again, a couple of smaller ones. My lining wasn't as nice and cushy as my doctor would have liked it, so we focused on fluffing that up a little the last few days. (His words, not mine.)

We trigger tonight with IUI on Monday. This will be my first time using Ovidrel. We are hoping a purer form of the hCG will prevent the pea to marble size lump and soreness that I get around the injection site.

I detect a pattern here. IUI #1 - Aug 1st, IUI #2 - Sept 1st and IUI #3 Oct 1st.
Funny how that timing has worked out.

I will be sure to post following the IUI on Monday to let everyone know how this one goes.

Am I crazy?

That has to be it. There can't possibly be any other explanation.

I have agreed to go ahead with another injectable/IUI cycle. After the experience of my last IUI, I was really thinking that I needed to take a break. However, after seeing how good my ovaries were looking, I just couldn't do it. Not only that, but a lot of the stresses of my daily life are on their way out the door.

This will be my 4th injectable cycle and 3rd IUI. With every cycle we learn a little more about how my body works. The doctor makes a little tweak to my protocol and we see how I do with the new plan.

We are going to mimic the last cycle for the most part as it was a nearly perfect IUI cycle. My response was awesome, I had a good amount of follicles most of really good size and my hormone levels were the best they've seen. Only problem was it didn't result in pg.

The nurse says we should consider the bad IUI experience an isolated incident and not let that interfere with our plans of going forward. I've had one really good one and one really bad one. I have to believe she is right and go into this expecting to have another awesome one like I had the first time.

Today is cd4, so our time-line for trigger and IUI will most likely be 9/29 cd13 (my birthday!) and 10/1 cd15. My office doesn't do Sunday appointments. Maybe there will be some luck in triggering on my birthday!

Happy Anniversary to Us!

Today is our 3rd anniversary. I'm not expecting a gift of leather. Or even crystal or glass.

Looking back on our wedding, we had several good messages. This is one of the more important messages that was a part of our special day:

Art of Marriage by Wilfred A. Peterson - The little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say 'I love you' at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years.It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding room for the things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

Happy Anniversary!

IUI #2 - Test day

It's finally here. 14dpIUI.

I was hoping to come on and share some really good news today, but it just isn't going to happen. Should I spell it out? BFN

What does a girl have to do to get a break? I went into my IUI with at least 4 nice big follies and 2 smaller secondary follies.

The Prometrium did its job and kept any early spotting away, so of course I had a glimmer of hope going into testing this morning.

After this last IUI, I'm not sure if I'm ready for another one right away. I'm almost secretly hoping for cysts so I have to sit out a cycle. Is that bad?

Sunday - A day for prayer

I may not be big on prayer myself, but I've seen several references to different prayers for us infertiles. Here are a couple I'd like to share.

Prayer to St. Gerard For Motherhood
O glorious Saint Gerard, powerful intercessor before God, and wonder worker of our day, I call upon you and seek your help. You who always fulfilled God's will on earth, help me to do God's holy will. Intercede with the Giver of life, from whom all parenthood proceeds, that I may conceive and raise children who will please God in this life, and be heirs to the kingdom of heaven. Amen.

St. David's Infertility Prayer
Thank you, Lord for all the blessings in my life. Help me to remember them as I face the challenges of infertility. I pray that I can surrender myself into your hands. Let me accept the reality of this situation and have the wisdom and courage to take action where I can. Strengthen my body, mind and spirit to endure the trials of infertility. Keep me ever mindful of the needs of others and grant us your peace. Amen.

Infertility Prayer
Good St. Gerard, powerful intercessor before the throne of God, wonder-worker of our day, we call upon you and seek your aid. You know that this marriage has not as yet been blessed with a child and how much [husband’s name] and [wife’s name] desire this gift. Please present these fervent pleas to the Creator of life from whom all parenthood proceeds and beseech Him to bless this couple with a child whom they may raise as His child and heir of heaven. Amen.


And maybe even more importantly, patience.

To Obtain Patience
O powerful and everlasting God, Who didst endow Thy faithful Servant Saint Gerard with an invincible patience in the midst of contradictions and persecutions, slanders and infirmities, and didst thereby make him an image of Thy suffering and crucified Son; grant, we beseech Thee, that fixing our eyes on the crucifix, as he did, we may through patience, atone for our sins and prove our love. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

One week down after IUI #2...

and I don't have much to report. I've been a good girl taking my Prometrium 3xs a day since Sunday. Woo hoo! Actually, the inconvenience of the Prometrium 3xs a day is far less annoying than the reaction I get to hCG boosters.

I hate being a symptom analyzer and fortunately for me, the only "symptom" I have been having is my chest is a little more sensitive. Especially when I turn over in bed and lay on my stomache. Ouchy!

I also hate the fact that Prometrium will keep AF away. Well, you know what I mean. ;) I'm just not an early tester. So, I guess I'll be testing on Saturday, Sept 15th. If it's negative, I'm to stop the Prometrium and expect AF in 2-3 days.

We continue to ride on Hope for another week.

IUI #2 - What an experience!

I can not be more happy to have that over and done with.

This morning was really rough. I went into the IUI feeling a sense of pressure in my ovaries. Well, of course. Those 6 eggs were getting ready to burst out of their follicles. It wasn't something I hadn't felt before. I used to always feel ovulation pain. It was just more intense with the increased number of follicles.

It only took the nurse about 15 minutes to process our sample. Then she called me back. She asked me how I was feeling, and I said I could feel some pressure in my ovaries. Again, that was normal.

Right away I noticed that she had a different type of syringe than was used last time. It didn't have the flexible tube catheter. It was just a syringe with a longer thinner end on it. I mentioned that it was different from last time, but she said this was the kind they usually use and they must have been using a sample product last time.

The nurse completed the procedure and raised the foot portion of the bed a little to elevate my hips. She told me there was a tiny bit of blood on the end of what she referred to as the catheter. She said that was normal, probably just due to the cervix being irritated. She set the timer for 10 minutes, and we'd be good to go.

Right away something didn't feel right. Wow. This one really hurt compared to last time. OMG!!! Why does it hurt so bad? I could not believe the intense cramping.

Uh oh. Here we go. I'm about to pass out. Next thing I know, the doctor is sort of bear hugging me asking, "Are you with us?" From there, the pain got even more severe. Apparently passing out is the brain's way of responding to the foreign object in the body. So, whether it was the actual apparatus of the procedure or the solution that was injected into me, I'm sure we'll never know.

I was in the room for almost an hour laying on the table curled up in severe pain. My doctor gave me something to relieve the cramping and the pain finally subsided. What he gave me was the same thing he gives out prior to HSG testing to prevent cramping.

I came home and slept for about 45 minutes. About an hour after leaving the clinic I was feeling a lot better and the cramping is now totally gone.

We opted to do Prometrium tablets in the LP instead of the hCG boosters, so we'll be ready for testing in two weeks.

I'm hoping for good news after today's ordeal.

40 hours til IUI #2!

We're here. Knocking on the door of IUI #2.

This cycle I have had a much better response than last month. We messed around with my injection dosages just a bit to help foster a slower response. My doctor is very pleased with the results. Here's what we did this month:

CD4 75IU Menopur
CD5 150IU Menopur
CD6 75IU Menopur
CD7 150IU Menopur
CD8-10 150IU Follistim
CD11-12 175IU Follistim

CD13 hCG trigger with IUI scheduled for 36 hours later on CD15.

My ultrasound today showed a nice half dozen or so follicles. There were some good ones (at least 4) at 19-22mm with a couple of secondary follicles following along at 15-18mm.

I feel that my doctor took a good approach to ensure better results this month. My follicles grew way too fast last month. It was just crazy to be ready for trigger on CD9 with IUI on CD11.

What perfect timing, I recieved my new Angie Fertility bracelet in the mail today. Thank you Gretchen for the sweet note you enclosed with my package. That really made my day.

Game On!

Unbelievable! I'm actually good to start a new cycle right away. Today in fact.

We are taking a little different approach with the meds. We'll be starting with Menopur again, but instead of doing 2 vials daily, we are going to do 1 today (75iu), 2 tomorrow (150iu) , 1 (75iu) the next day, return for monitoring and blood work on Friday.

I responded too quickly last time, so by dialing down the dosage a little bit, hopefully we can buy a little more time. We are also starting a day later with meds due to cycle start and getting in for the U/S.

Thank heaven for no cysts. I don't know that I could have handled another break cycle right now.

Sorry to disappoint

No need to wait for morning to test. That darn AF was waiting at the front door with her over night bag when I got up this morning.

Things just seemed to be going so well this cycle. I had great response to the stim meds, my lining was good, we triggered early. I had remained so hopeful right up til the very end. Even through the slight cramping I had yesterday.

This will mean a trip to the RE either Monday for Tuesday for a baseline U/S. I can only hope there are no remaining cysts after this injectable cycle. It really would be nice to get going on another cycle right away.

I'll keep you posted with news after my visit with the RE next week.

2WW - I made it!

Wow. It has already been a full two weeks since my IUI procedure. I've managed to remain sufficiently busy allowing the time to go really fast.

With a series of hCG boosters in the LP, I am not even tempted to test. Maybe a little anxious, but not so much tempted.

If I can make it through Saturday, I will test on Sunday morning. That will be cd29 and I'll be 18dpIUI.

My doctor didn't recommend testing until Saturday at the earliest anyways because of the hCG boosters. What's one more day?

One week down....

It's already been a week since the IUI. (Where has the time gone?) I did a good job to keep myself fairly busy this weekend and Monday evening, so the time has actually gone by really fast.

I'm doing hCG boosters in my LP, so I still have a good ten days before testing is recommended. Hopefully the next 10 days will be as busy and go as quickly as the first 7 have been.

Hope. That's what I'm riding on right now.

2w + 3d to wait

This morning was my post-IUI ultrasound. I was expecting them to draw blood, but apparently this wasn't necessary.

Looking at the u/s screen, I was a little confused. If I ovulated, what were those "things" I was seeing? Did I not ovulate? OMG!

Calm down. Apparently what's left are the "sacs" that the follicles released from. Okay, that's good to hear. Ultrasound doesn't tell the whole picture at this point, but it seems pretty apparent that they released. Yeah!

Today is 3 days past IUI and I got a much more diluted version of the hCG shot as a booster. Hopefully this will eliminate the bad reaction I've been getting to the full 10,000 units injected at once. Two more boosters are to be administered on 6 & 9 days after the IUI. So, that brings us to testing around August 18th. A full week after the last hCG shot. I'll be 17dpIUI.

How am I going to wait that long? Should I test out the last hCG? Relax...breathe...and keep yourself busy.

Let the 2WW begin!

Well...that wasn't too bad. IUI #1 is complete.

I had definitely thought going in to it that it was going to be a lot worse. I barely even felt anything. Just the tiniest bit of something as the catheter went in. And it was over so quickly. In the hours following the procedure I had a little bit of cramping, but nothing too strong.

They want to see me for an US on Saturday morning 3dpIUI. At that point we'll discuss hCG boosters for the LP.

I have a tendency to react pretty badly to the hCG shots, so I'm not sure what we'll do. The doctor thinks it has something do to with the high concentration of the hCG. There is a huge welt at the injection site and it is very sensitive to the touch. Clothes rubbing against it even hurts.

Please let the next two weeks go by quickly with lots to keep me busy and my mind off of testing.

IUI - Here we come!

Like I said on Friday, things have been progressing very quickly. I only did three days of Menopur followed by four days of Follistim.

I had another US and E2 draw this morning. What looked like four possibly large follicles on Friday were actually several smaller follicles clustered together. They are really good sized considering it is only cd9, still averaging 15-18mm with a few smaller ones. And my endometrial lining is at 8.6. These numbers are just amazing.

Today is cd9 and I'll be triggering tonight with IUI on Wednesday morning. CD11! Seriously, we are only about 36 hours away.

I just can't express how excited I am to finally be at this stage. IUI has been one of those elusive things that has been discussed for a while now, but had yet to be introduced.

Stay tuned for more updates after Wednesday's procedure.

As always, thanks for all the good luck wishes. Everyone is so kind.

Whoa! Holy follies!

Things are progressing very quickly.

Today, cd6, I went in for an ultrasound and I already have 4 fairly large follies. So far I had only done 3 days of 150iu Menopur. The follies were paired like this: 19/15 & 14/16 plus many more little ones. The nurse did the US and she thought it was odd they were so big after only 3 days of stims!

My consultation was with the RE. He took a look at the pictures, and is thinking maybe they are actually clusters, and not individual big ones. I hope the second is true.

I also had blood drawn to run an E2 (estradiol) test. I hope that gives a clearer picture of what is going on. We are switching meds, the RE gave me 150iu of Follistim and gave me a pen and is going to call in an Rx for that as well.

After getting the blood work back, they decided to dial me back just a little for the next two days. This weekend's dosage will be 125iu both days. Monday I'll be back for another US and E2 draw.

Our tentative plan: depending on how things look, we may actually trigger on Monday with back to back IUIs on Tuesday and Wednesday! Eeeeks!

Considering I had been at a complete stand still since April 29th, this is all falling together very quickly. Please, don't let me over stimulate.

Flight status - ON TIME!

We are off to a good start.
AF made her arrival two and a half days after taking my last bcp. ETA was 2-3 days.

That means I start injections in the morning, Tuesday, CD3. We do injections at home for three mornings, then I go in for an US and E2 blood work on CD6 (Friday).

While I'm not overly thrilled to be getting shots again, I am thrilled to finally get another chance. I hope the next three days fly by so we can get a plan in place.

Hooray for AF not having been delayed.

Are you ready for this???

I finally got good news at the RE!

It may have taken 51 days, but I have gotten the all clear. I actually get to go to bed without popping a bcp tonight.

My left ovary is still completely quiet and the right now has just a few tiny little spots on it.

AF is expected in about 2-3 days. Upon her arrival, I'll start back up on the injections. I'll be starting with Menopur 150iu on cd3. CD6 they want to see me again for an US and a blood draw for E2 levels. The plan for the rest of this cycle is to be determined based on what the US and blood work show.

I am so relieved to finally be able to start a medicated cycle again. After all this wasted time, I'll definitely be pushing for the IUI if it isn't just volunteered!

**Special "Thanks" to the Cyst Fairies for getting rid of my nasty cysts.**

From 2 weeks to 2 days!

The big day is almost here. It's almost time to take a peek at those ovaries once again. Please, please, let the cyst(s) be gone.

I'm at the point where I don't really know how to feel. Of course I'm excited to see if I've made enough progress in shrinking the cysts, but at the same time, I'm scared that they haven't shrunk enough. And, there is the chance that my body ovulated through the bcps again.

For the last few weeks I've been pretty numb to everything. I didn't even shed a tear last time I was in and I found out the cyst was still there and I needed to continue on the bcps for another two weeks.

These cysts have had control over my life since April 29th. It's time they left me alone!

Two more weeks

It is really starting to feel like all I do is live my life in two week increments. Even more so than when we actually get a good cycle going. Waiting, anticipating, more waiting, more anticipating.

We went in for my appointment on the 5th, and the cyst has shrunk by about half. It was measuring close to 44mm and now it's down to 23mm. Better half than none.

I'll be staying on the bcp for another two weeks, and then I'll go back in on the 19th for another ultrasound. Guess I'll find out what it feels like to have a 50+ day cycle. This is unfamiliar territory for me. I used to be a regular 28-day cycle girl.

Good news in all of this is I don't have to self-medicate (injections) while hubby is out of town for a week! That was one thing I wasn't looking forward to, even though I had a friend at work lined up to help if need be.

Could this cycle get any more weird?

Alright - I think I've taken this whole break thing fairly well. All things considered.

As I've clearly established, ovulating is not my problem. Heck, I even seem to do it through BCPs. I should have expected it, but it didn't even cross my mind. CD31 gets here and along comes the bleeding. I'm not talking full on AF bleeding, but none the less, it's more than spotting. (Did I mention I was out of town and the spotting started on a Saturday after clinic hours?)

OMG! What do I do? I'm not supposed to go in for another 5 or 6 days for my next ultrasound to check on the cyst. There is no one to call. Seriously, what do I do?

Wow! Some how, I made the right decision. I took that night's pill and Sunday night's pill too. Just in case. What harm could it do, really? After a couple of rounds of phone tag I finally got word from my RE's office that I did the right thing in continuing on with the meds. While my body is busy doing its own thing, we are hoping that my brain is taking its cues from the hormones and not allowing my body to fully take over.

I only need to make it to Thursday, then hopefully we can bring this nightmare cycle to a close. When it's all said and done, it'll be about 38 days long. That's enough. **Remember - this was supposed to be that 'mini-cycle' to get rid of the cyst.**

Are you kidding me?

Seriously. This has to be some kind of a cruel joke.

I've been on BCPs for 18 days now. CD3-21. I go in for my US this morning, hoping the cyst is gone. Good news is all I want to hear and all I get is more bad news.

The residual debris/cyst is gone. Yeah! But, I have an even bigger cyst over on the other ovary. What? How is this possible? I thought my ovaries were supposed to be sleeping.

There was no blood work done, so we can't confirm, but the nurse actually thinks somehow I managed to ovulate through the BCPs.

Craziness! So, tonight instead of going to bed without any more BCPs, I will take a new kind. For two more weeks. So much for a forced mini-cycle. We are holding off AF for a while longer until we can better manage those ovaries.

When will this nightmare end?

Tomorrow is US day!

Finally. Cycle day 21 and the ultrasound I've been waiting for. I didn't think it would ever get here. I have been taking BCPs since cycle day 3 in hopes that nasty residual cyst/debris will disappear.

Looking back, my last medicated cycle started on March 30th. Even though these last few weeks have gone by really slow, it just doesn't seem like it's been that long since we were doing all those injections.

Hopefully I'll have good news to share after my appointment tomorrow.
Good night.

** crosses fingers **

Where am I?

Wow. For the first time in a very long while, I actually had to look at FF (Fertiity Friend) to know what cycle day I was on. Today is cd12 and my chart hasn't been updated for ten days. That is 10 days without waking to take my temp. Only nine more days until the ultrasound monitoring of the cyst.

I am filled with anxious excitement over what results may come from the ultrasound.

Can't we just get this show on the road?

How could I forget?

The best part about this bcp mini-cycle thing is I am forced to put down the thermometer! Hallelujah!

What's the sense in charting when my ovaries are sleeping and there isn't even a chance of ovulating? Besides, we can pretty much bank on AF arriving within about 3 days after I take the last pill.

Ahhhh...this is one thing I've really wanted to do for a while, but I haven't been able to walk away from. Somehow I feel in control when I take my temp everyday. It's nice to know exactly what is going on and where I am in my cycle.

It felt so good to be able to sleep in on Sunday and not have to wake up at 5:00am just to take my temperature!

I'm not promising I won't take it back out, but it sure is a nice change. I've been waking up at 5am daily for 16 months.

Shhhhhh....

be very quiet, my ovaries are sleeping.

Yesterday morning I went in for a cd3 ultrasound. I was so excited to get started on another round of injectables. Wrong! Ultrasound revealed there is still a cyst present. This is the first time an "off-cycle" did not get rid of the cysts.

Since the cysts did not go away on their own, we are doing a forced mini-cycle. I have to go back on BCPs for 16-18 days and then we'll go in for another ultrasound to determine if the cyst is gone.

This is actually sort of a good thing. Instead of wasting 3 cycles in a row due to the cyst(s) and hubby being out of town, we are thrown into this calendar game.

We need to get the timing just right as we'll be out of town for the weekend during a critical window of this cycle and then an out of town business trip for hubby coming quickly there after. Hopefully this mini-cycle will put time on our side instead of working against us.

So please, shhhh...my ovaries need their quiet time.

"A Miracle"

I stumbled upon this saying and wanted to share the message. Ultimately, it really is our own miracle that we are waiting for.

"There are only two ways to live your life:
One is as though nothing is a miracle;
the other is as though everything is a miracle."

100 days to go

What a milestone. Almost to double digits. If only it still meant something. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Today I would be 25wks 5days pregnant. August 30th will be here before we know it. With any sort of luck, maybe we'll be pregnant again by then.

Bracelet - Put to the test

If I gardened wearing it this weekend, does that mean the plants will do especially well this season? One can only hope after the amount of time and money we've spent over the last few seasons trying to establish a decent perennial garden.

Maybe some of the powers of the fertility bracelet with seep into the soil and make for some beautiful flowers.

We've got some more work to do and I'll be sure to wear my bracelet again to keep the powers flowing.

Cosmetic surgery for the house

Our house looked like just about every other house in this development, circa 1987. We did an addition on the back and since we really needed new siding, decided to give the front a face lift while we were at it. The biggest change came with the addition of the stone work and shake like shingles. Our house is now the one on the block with a little character. Here are before and after pictures. What a change!


Before - Aug '06


After - Dec '06

Being a puppy is hard work...

Here's the proof!



This is our silly dog. If there is sun streaming in the window, you can almost guess where he'll be. This was the first day the hardwood floor was in our office. The floor wasn't even sanded or finished yet. He didn't care. The wood was nice and warm in the sun. It made the perfect spot for an afternoon nap.

Drink 'til it's pink!

Or at least that's what they say.

This is actually a picture from our honeymoon to Puerto Vallarta in September '04. We were enjoying a nice glass of wine with our dinner on a private beach at the show we were attending.

I haven't been much for posting personal pictures, but ran across this one and thought it was appropriate.

The 'Angie' Fertility Bracelet

Awareness. There are over 50 of us nationwide sporting these lovely bracelets that Gretchen so lovingly designed.

Gretchen's Nest bio can be found by clicking here theoneintheveil. If you see someone wearing this bracelet, you'll know they are struggling with Infertility.

Each stone used in this bracelet was selected for its natural properties. Amethyst - to sooth and heal us. Rose Quartz - for its protection and connection to serenity and fertility. Pink Tourmaline - also a fertility stone, and to remind us of love and the power it wields. Citrine - to remind us to always have hope.

Peace, Hope, Serenity

When life is stressful,

Find our inner peace...

When you feel discouraged,
Have hope...
Combine the two,
And serenity will envelope you.

Behold the power of the psychic

I was always the one who said I didn't want children: Until that fateful day (September 17, 2005) when I had a Psychic reading. The moment she told me I was supposed to have four children, but didn't want them, really got me thinking. The same psychic told my husband that she sees him with a daughter. Since the psychic could feel my grandmother around me the moment I walked into the room, we knew it was her way of telling us it was time. (I wear my grandmother's wedding set, so she is always all around me.) We started trying in Jan '06.