Archive | April, 2011

Get out of my dreams

30 Apr

I jumped, my hands grasped the metal bar. I balanced my grip, took a breath and cleared my mind. I focused all my energy and strength in one full body contraction, and lighter than imagined, I pulled myself up. I lifted my body from a dead hang to my chin reaching above the bar. I couldn’t believe it. I lowered myself down slowly, and did it again. It was almost easier this time, after knowing it was possible. I think I went for five pull-ups total, before dropping to the ground with burning hands.

I was euphoric and exhausted. I felt my heart racing and blood rushing through my veins, all while feeling stronger and lighter than ever before. I had done it. Pull-ups, that elusive physical strength goal that always seemed so far away. I couldn’t believe I had mastered this skill and the time had finally come. There would be more challenges – now I could reach for quantities, and more difficult tasks like doing this on the gymnast rings, maybe even a muscle-up. But for now, I was thrilled with this accomplishment.

And then I woke up.

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Wasted energy

28 Apr

What is one of the most frustrating things in my everyday life? When I’ve overcome the urge to skip my workout for something less healthy or just pure laziness, I head to the locker room to change into workout clothes, gearing up for what pump-it-up music to start with, and I find in the very last step of this little process that I’ve only packed ONE SOCK. Or forgot my shoes. Or forgot a sports bra. Or my ipod is dead.

I get SO frustrated when my perfect little window of workout time is ruined by some forgetful technicality. Especially when I’ve already overcome my own mental obstacles to get that far.

It’s a defeated feeling, and I want to shake my fist in the air and ask “Can I at least get progress points for trying?”

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Take the good, take the bad

26 Apr

It’s been five days of less than perfect eating. I usually let the weekend slide by under the radar. One good cheat day is okay. Two days is pushing it. But the Easter candy and leftover birthday cheesecake are still lingering within reach, there was a Mexican restaurant lunch outing with coworkers yesterday, and then the homemade double chocolate chip cookies that were brought into work to share today. Why not follow up four reckless days with Papa Murphy’s pizza for dinner? At least we ordered thin crust…

Tomorrow I’m starting over. Get back to cleaner, planned, non-sugary eating! It is perfectly okay to start over on a Wednesday.

It’s not a complete loss – I worked out the last three days. One good run and two tough CrossFit workouts. Muscles are sore and tired, so I’ve got that going for me.

What do you do when you fall of the horse? “Sorry, Maury, I’m not a gymnast.” YOU GET BACK ON!!!

Cheers to ending this week on a healthy high note!

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Runner’s high

25 Apr

Yesterday I went for a run, and it was the most amazing run ever! I was shocked.

Since doing more CrossFit lately I haven’t run as far or as often as I usually do. I used to try and get 2 or 3 runs a week at between two and four miles for cardio, in between strength training days. Lately those kind of runs have been once every week or two. With the CrossFit workouts I’ve done many little sprints, from 100 meters to 800 meters, repeated between strength sets. I thought maybe I was falling behind on my endurance, but I didn’t mind, because this CrossFit stuff has been a new and interesting challenge.

My surprise and low expectations were apparently unfounded. Yesterday’s 3 mile route was the fastest and hardest I’ve ran continuously, ever in my life. I only wish I would have timed it for evidence!

In the past, if I ran hard/fast, I had to break and walk to catch my breath. The only way I could run steady without breaks was at a nice, leisurely pace. But something new in me yesterday kicked into gear, and after running up and down a couple hills, wondering when I might feel the need to slow the pace to catch my breath, I was already halfway done. So I challenged myself to make it the rest of the way without letting up; no breaks, no slowing down. And there were still more hills!

On the last stretch of three miles, I pushed it to as much sprint as I had left in me, and finished strong. It occurred to me that I should snag another mile, but the clouds were gray and threatening rain above my head, so I would just be thrilled with my performance and call it a day.

I’ve heard this about CrossFit – without training specifically for certain sports, the variety and intensity of the programming can make you better at everything. I saw my husband do it in three 5k’s that we ran last year. He hadn’t run more than a single mile in training, only doing CrossFit with it’s short distance sprints, varied functional resistance training, and other random cardio movements. His 5k times beat hundreds of runners in his class. I didn’t understand back then.

Now, I think I felt it, what CrossFit can do. I’m looking forward to my next fitness breakthrough! Pull-ups, here we come!

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Better than yesterday

25 Apr

It’s my husband’s motto for his gym, Sky’s Limit CrossFit. And I love it.

As soon as I heard the three words, it stuck in my mind and has been my simple motivation for every workout I do.

I’m so tired, not sure if I want to sweat today. But if I go for it, I will be just a little better than yesterday. Stronger, healthier, more ready for the next challenge. If I don’t, I’ve achieved nothing, and might just start backtracking on any progress I’ve made.

This workout is going to be tough. I am so weak and can’t do as many push-ups as what is prescribed. But I tried, and I did better than yesterday. More push-ups, faster push-ups. Fewer breaths and heartbeats. I didn’t have to go to my knees.

These are the typical words that run through my mind each day, and that simple thought is usually enough to get me out of my work clothes and into my sweat clothes. And when the huffing, grunting, and dripping sweat has subsided, I can relish and celebrate today’s little victory: I am better than yesterday.

Fitness journey, thus far.

24 Apr

I’ve had my fair share of gym memberships and done nearly every well-known home workout video in my journey to get and stay fit. In 2006 I got in the best shape of my life by doing mostly Power 90 X while planning for the perfect beach wedding. I had never looked or felt better. After our wedding, I trained for and ran a full marathon, and discovered just days after crossing the finish line that I was pregnant. Several months later we were blessed with a baby girl, Skyler, which took my body back to its average unsatisfactory ways. Despite moderate exercise throughout my pregnancy, I would be starting over to get back in that kind of shape, but this time as a busy mom and wife. It would not be easy.

The marathon had me hooked on running for fitness, though I was relieved to get back to normal distances, since I was starting from scratch post-baby. My husband had quit his social work job while I was pregnant to pursue personal training, so I hoped his expertise would be that extra piece I needed to get back in shape. I had all my workout videos so I could just rotate out at home since heading to the gym wasn’t as easy with a kiddo tagging along. And, my workplace had a well-equipped gym that was free for me to use. Despite all these options, I’ve struggled to stick with anything hard enough or long enough to make any progress back to the size 4 I had achieved in 2006.

Staying motivated and maintaining any fitness momentum never worked for me after becoming a parent. Excuses, excuses, there were always so many excuses! Don’t get me wrong, I was rarely just lazy for days on end or pigging out with ice cream and cookies. I worked out off and on and ate reasonably with the typical weekend splurge, but none of it was enough to really get and stay on track to see results. Meanwhile my husband was getting in the best shape of his life, day after day, and helping his clients do the same. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous or resentful of that.

This year, I think maybe I’ve turned over a new leaf in my fitness journey. I decided to challenge myself not to a weight-loss goal, but an actual fitness goal of being able to do pull-ups. In addition to this specific goal, I’ve re-energized myself to make fitness a top priority, since my husband has been working on opening his own CrossFit gym here in Kansas City (T-minus 7 days till he gets the keys to the building!). I don’t want to be the average-shaped wife of a CrossFitter. Since our livelihood is directly impacted by his success, I want to be a walking example of the work he is passionate about.

I hope that I continue to find my way in this world of fitness, it can become less of a guilt-ridden battle and more of an adventure in discovering what I am made of, both mentally and physically. No more pining after the beautiful bride I once was, but reaching to be the beautiful strong person that I know I am now. That would be a much more satifying and joyful way to live.

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