Archive | December, 2011

First times

29 Dec

At my daughter’s age, “firsts” happen quite often. First time to sit in a firetruck, first time to open stockings, first time to try new food, first shooting star, first road trip, first haircut, etc. Her life is full of firsts, and a friend once commented on my other blog that she was envious of Skyler’s “firsts,” as with being an adult, they are few and far between. Been there done that. And there is a lot of truth to that sentiment; most adults settle into a way of life that is safe and comfortable, and other than maybe a vacation to a new place we’ve never been, most of us don’t get to experience the fun of “firsts” very often anymore.

But that’s one of the things I love about CrossFit and strength training. I’ve experienced four “firsts” this week alone, after two last week! While they don’t happen weekly usually (I feel I’m cresting one of many hills right now), they do happen often, and much more than the typical adult gets to experience, adding a whole new element of emotions to everyday life: fear, courage, determination, accomplishment, excitement, satisfaction, confidence. You can’t experience those feelings, all in a matter of seconds, when you continue to do the same ole’ same ole.’

After my handstands and ring dip last week, I hit a new personal record on bench press this week with 105, ten pounds higher than my previous. The next day, I worked out alone, and drew blood for the first time. My callouses were tender and raw from the previous day’s pull-ups, but we had to do lots of barbell snatches and knees to elbows, which tore my hands up! I had no chalk, no tape, and no gloves going into that workout, so I knew it would be rough. Today, I cleaned 85 pounds for the first time, and did it a total of six times to get through the workout. Coach said it looked “easy,” which is fantastic to hear for a first attempt, especially at a movement I remember struggling so much with in On Ramp. I’ve never been in class for max weight on cleans, so I don’t even know what my max is there, but I had previously never cleaned more than 80, so this was a new first! And finally, my rope climbs are coming along. At Thanksgiving, I completed one ascent, and had nothing left for more. Last week, I completed two ascents, wore out. Tonight, I did three total ascents. The rope climbs exhaust my strength, so my goal with every workout that calls for them is to get at least one more than I got the last time. Eventually, that will be enough to RX the rope climbs in a workout!

Tonight, I’m achy and can barely move my arms. But I’m achy with joy and confidence, enjoying my “firsts” of the week. It isn’t Tahiti, but when life lands you in the Midwest, you make your adventures, even if they are limited to the borders of your mind, body, and soul!

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Thawing out

26 Dec

I need to complain about lack of progress or frustrations with my fitness more often. It seems as soon as I put it in writing, the situation changes and I make some sort of positive movement forward that I wasn’t expecting, in turn making me feel like a whiny, ungrateful sour puss.

I wrote that post, and then promptly went to the gym and did not one but TWO new skills for the first time ever. I learned how to kick up on the wall for hand stand holds, something I’d been frightened of for months. Instead of the efficient and graceful way to get into hand stands, I was awkwardly walking my feet up the wall, which is actually a lot more work. The coach jokingly shamed me in front of my class mates, since all the others could get up there the right way, and then made me try it. First attempt wasn’t quite there, so he gave me a quick pointer, and after that, it was history. No more walking my feet up the wall in fear, or expending more energy than needed for hand stands!

The second accomplishment was my first ring dip. I haven’t been able to do one yet, but have progressed from not even being able to hold myself up in a stationary position. The last couple sessions of ring work I practiced negatives; slowly lowering myself from the top of the ring hold to the bottom of a dip. So this time, I decided to try a full dip before working on negatives, and while it wasn’t pretty, I GOT IT! Of course I was spent after that, so even my negatives were trying, but I was thrilled to be able to push myself back up to the top of the hold for the first time ever!

So, though the progress isn’t in the things I expected or wanted, it’s progress nonetheless, so I’ll take it! And next time I’m looking for improvement, I might just have to whine about it here before heading to class!

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Frozen

22 Dec

It seems like lately everyone in the gym is getting PR’s but me. I’ve been stuck on my back squat, dead lift and strict press max weight since the summer, while 75% of people in the gym keep making progress. And they’re making much faster progress on other things too, like pull-ups, atlas stones, rope climbs, and of course, double-unders. I’m still fumbling through those things while people who started the same time as me are sprinting by me, excelling and performing better than ever.

I’m not sure what needs to change for me. Do I need to go more often? Is there an attitude or inner drive that I don’t have currently? Am I not trying hard enough? Is it that I work out on my own 50% of the time and thus don’t get as good results as if I was there with the group and trainers? Is eating Paleo causing some malnutrition to my muscles, despite feeling better than ever? Am I just genetically not capable of progress at the same speed of the others?

These questions run through my mind as my progress seems frozen in time, and I wonder if I’ll be stuck here forever? While I’m pretty sure that’s not possible, it’s definitely causing me to question the motivations of the last six months, since it doesn’t seem to be reaping the same rewards it did when I first started. Maybe it’s just a test of patience and perseverance, and in another month or two I’ll make some big breakthroughs in my performance, adding twenty pounds to my squat or finally getting double-unders. I truly don’t know, but just have to rest on the simple fact that every time I workout, no matter what number is on the bar or skill level achieved, I am making myself healthier. That has to be enough till my next achievement.

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Strong not skinny

13 Dec

Watching the Biggest Loser finale always gets me. As cheesy and scripted as this show has gotten, you can’t argue or disrespect the results these contestants get, and the hard work and dedication it took to get there. It is truly inspiring.

But my story tonight is not about the Biggest Loser. While watching one of the montages of all the contestants sweating their butts off, crying, puking, gasping, yelling, and falling, my inquisitive 4-year-old asked why they were acting like that. I just explained that they were working very hard to get healthy and not be fat anymore, and sometimes working that hard can hurt. I then tickled one of her ribs and said “you’re not fat are you?” To which she said “No, I’m strong!!!”

While my choice of conversation topics was admittedly not the best judgement to focus on “fat” as a subject, I was thrilled with her response. She didn’t say “No, I’m skinny!” or “No, I’m small!” She chose the word strong. I then asked her about me, I said “Is mommy fat or strong?” and she said “Strong!” This gave me pride, and a sense of parenting accomplishment (which happens rarely with a strong-willed young child). I am relieved her response was not to say that “skinny” is the preferred alternative to being fat, which is so much the mindset of the society we live in. Sure, she’s young, she isn’t yet inundated with unhealthy and unrealistic images of “ideal beauty.” But appearance and body composition is definitely a topic that she hears about in our house. Her Daddy is a personal trainer and gym owner, and I am one of his biggest supporters in my talk and my walk. This topic is not unfamiliar to her! I am just so glad that we have spoken and acted in a way that instilled the “ideal” as being strong, which means a healthy and functional body. Not just a pretty picture.

I hope as we focus on living a healthy, full life, she will continue to grow to know this as the right focus, and not fall victim to insecurities or misconceptions about being skinny as an ideal form of beauty or health.

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Things I choose

7 Dec

We often wallow in the past and use the way things have been to be excuses for the way things are now and will be in the future. We don’t realize the power we have to change our current state, for better or for worse. We act as if life is happening to us, out of our control, instead of making life happen.

I was going to whine about about some stuff this week in this blog post, but then I remembered this quote I saw recently: I am not what happened to me; I am what I choose to become.

So today, I’m documenting some choices, from this point on, instead of listing my excuses.

I choose love for my family and myself to guide my decisions.

I choose to be grateful for all the blessings I’ve been given.

I choose adventure over fear – to find out what I am capable of here on earth, even if it means failing sometimes.

I choose to accept my mistakes, learn from them, and move on. I will forgive myself just as I will forgive others.

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