Tag Archives: strength

Break on through to the other side

8 May

I’m closing in on my first “official” year of CrossFit. I think our first On Ramp class was around May 15th. Holy Self Discovery, Batman, has it been a year?!?! I wrote this post about my honeymoon stage with CrossFit nearly a year ago, and unless I’m still stuck in the warm fuzzies of a relationship, it is everything I had hoped it would be. And more. I’m just thinking through all the things I can do now that I couldn’t do a year ago:

– Overhead squat: I wobbled through 30 lbs a year ago. Now I do 65 lbs in a workout and can do 100 lbs for one rep.
– Back squat: I started at 135 lbs, now I’m at 175.
– Front squat: I was dropping the bar at 95 lbs in September, and did 3 reps for 130 yesterday
– Dead lift: 155 lbs for 1 rep to 175 for five reps (last one rep max before that was 170, so I’m sure it’s higher now too).
– Bench press: 95 lbs for 1 rep to 120 lbs
– Clean: I remember flailing and struggling through 55 lbs a year ago. Now I do 75 in a workout and have maxed at 100 lbs.
– Jerk: Last summer or fall I could barely jerk 85 lbs, a few months ago I easily had 100, and could’ve had more if I could’ve cleaned more.
– Kettlebells: Started with the 25 lb, now alternate between the 35 and 45 lb bell, depending on the wod.
– Wall balls: I was falling all over the place with a 6 lb wall ball when we started, now I power through solidly with a 14 lb ball.
– Pull-ups: Couldn’t do a single unassissted pull-up, chin-up, or kip a year ago, now I flail through the wod’s with kipping pull-ups, and can do several strict pull-ups and   chin-ups with no assistance.
– Push-ups: I always had a few full push-ups, but always dropped to my knees, now I can finish nearly every workout with no knees.
– Ring dips: I couldn’t even hold myself up steady on the rings when I started, and now I can do a couple ring dips in a row.
– Double unders: I have unsuccessfully attempted double unders for a whole year, making zero progress, not even able to make a single purposeful double under happen, until LAST WEEKEND. Finally got a hand position tip from Ronnie that made all the difference in the world. I made one happen in a giant stomping jump, and repeated that a few times to make sure it was real. Once I trusted myself, I started putting them together with with singles in between and was able to get a short rhythm going. It was one of the best accomplishments I’ve ever had, coming from a year of frustration and zero progress. I was honestly beginning to think I was missing a part of my brain, as the longest running no-double-under-fool in the gym. But no more! I’ve got them, and now I can practice and only get better, just as I have everything else.

When I started CrossFitting, I didn’t really consider myself a CrossFitter. I was just a woman trying CrossFit, but I wasn’t good enough or cool enough to actually BE a CrossFitter. I felt like a wannabe. Somewhere along the lines I embraced it, and I learned that CrossFit isn’t just for the elite athletes. It’s for anyone who wants to grow, change, get stronger, embrace the hard work, and have fun doing it. Looking back on my accomplishments, I actually have some skills up there that I foolishly told myself that once I gain those skills, I can call myself an official CrossFitter. It’s funny, now, but what I didn’t realize is I already had the skill of CrossFit within me all along, DESIRE and WILL. From the first time I attempted a CrossFit workout and went back for more, that was it. I am CrossFit.

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Summit

26 Mar

I’ve been quiet lately. Life has been busy. Good busy, but busy nonetheless, and I just haven’t wanted to end any of my days these last two weeks trying to be creative with my words. I’m not trying to be creative tonight, but I need to get some stuff down here for posterity.

There have been some moments lately, the kind that fire me up and keep me going strong. The kind that pick me up after a rough day. I’m in one of those peaks right now where I’m improving at the things I try, fascinating myself yet again with the things I can do. I don’t know when I’ll travel back to the next valley, but I’ll enjoy the air at this altitude as long as I can.

Last week, I did 30 back squats in a row, without racking the bar, at my bodyweight of 130 lbs. It was the hardest I’ve ever pushed myself in a strength workout. Once I hit 18 reps (the number I got last time I attempted this) and began to struggle, I lost confidence and began to settle thinking maybe low twenties would be good enough to finish. But I had the rare and awesome experience of having my husband there by my side, coaching me. Normally this is not a situation I like to be in, but he was all encouragement, giving me just the cues I needed, along with inspiring my need to impress him. I lost count after 20 because I went all cloudy, only hearing his voice, pushing me through one rep after another. All I could do was get one more rep until he told me to quit. When he finally announced “30,” I went to rack the bar and couldn’t. I was stiff and weak, and needed help from the others to guide the bar back into the rack.

Once free of the weight, my vision was black and blurry, and I thought I might hurl. My shoulders and neck were tense from holding the bar, and my hamstrings had no idea what had just hit them. Ronnie said “that’s how you know you had a good strength workout and really pushed yourself! That’s how it should feel.” It took awhile to get ready for the actual wod, which was 65 reps of pull-ups, kettle bell swings, and hollow rocks over the course of 9 rounds. I RX’d this wod, even after my back squat exertion, and actually improved on my pull-ups, stringing 4 – 5 in a row for most of the wod, and much faster with better form than my recent pull-ups had been. They felt good for a change.

Tonight, I enjoyed another PR, by way of bench press. Last time we did 1 rep max, 3 months ago, I broke a hundred by hitting 105. A couple weeks ago, I did 105 for 3 rep max. Today my goal was 115, but then Coach had us thinking of our goal and then warm up with a weight that was 25 lbs lighter, so I thought I’d push myself and go for 120. It seemed like a dream, but why not go out on a limb? That’s where the fruit is (thanks Mark Twain). I busted out my 5 warm-up reps at 95, and then went straight for 110. It was a surprising struggle, as I got caught halfway up but then somehow managed to power it through. I wondered if I should call it a day, since that wasn’t pretty. But no, I couldn’t stop there. I wasn’t stopping until someone had to lift the bar off my chest. 115 happened the same way. In fact it looked and felt just like 110. So why not go for 120? It came down and I fought to make it move off my chest, but it wasn’t going very far. My spotter reached out his hands to catch the bar, so I fought back by pushing it up. His hands floated beneath the bar as I managed to move it up, inch by inch, in slow motion. He never touched the bar. It just took that nudge, that thought of not wanting him to help me up with it, to drive that thing off my chest. It was an amazing feeling – that number seemed so impossible to me even a few hours ago before I attempted it! My goal of bodyweight bench press is not far away. In fact, next time, that will be my goal. It’s only ten pounds away.

Tomorrow we have Nancy, a workout that I’ve been dreaming of RX’ing. Overhead squats at 65 lbs and running. My favorite lift, but it will be a challenge. I’ve attempted 65 lbs in a wod before, but couldn’t finish without dropping to 60 halfway through, and that was fewer reps than what Nancy calls for. But, I’m stronger now, so I will attempt this again. Hopefully I won’t hit the inevitable valley of struggle till after I RX Nancy tomorrow!

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The bar

20 Sep

I never thought I could develop any sort of feeling toward a heavy piece of metal, or even more, the range of feelings I can have toward said heavy piece of metal. That inanimate metal object is a barbell, and it is home to many of my new favorite workout movements. And least favorite. Sometimes those favorite and least favorite are one in the same.

The barbell used to be a guy thing. In my mind, and the minds of so many women out there, and probably some men too. Images of big, bulky, sweaty guys, with hands coated in chalk, grunting through barbell movements and tossing the barbells to the ground. Loud. Masculine. Dangerous. Heavy.

But not anymore. Now the barbell is mine. And hers, and hers, and hers…I could name off a dozen other women in class who are starting to own that barbell just as I am learning. Our once soft hands are calloused and coated with chalk. Talk about girl power. We’ve found our grip on that grimy, harsh piece of metal, and we’re finding so much more. Strength, confidence, power. Challenging our previous notions and weaknesses. Becoming vulnerable to the weight on that bar; pushing it to the limit and learning to say “when” and dropping the bar with purpose, lest it fall down on us from overhead.

It’s fascinating what you can learn about yourself when you spend quality time with a barbell. Male or female, old or young. It’s a versatile teacher with so much truth to be told. My words don’t hardly do it justice or remotely express where I’ve been in my new barbell adventures. But Lisbeth does it best. Below are a few of my favorite barbell-centric posts from her inspirational writing about life and fitness.

The Moment
Crossing Over
The Barbell Hates Skinny
The Ring of Fire
Yell at Your Bar
Bad Girls

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That was quick

18 Sep

I posted just last week about my first unassisted chin-up success. Well today I decided to show Ronnie I could do it (and prove to myself that I really could). He made me do two in a row for good measure, as any good coach would do, right? And then I decided to give the traditional pull-up a try. Surely I have at least made progress on that since the chin-ups improved. Ronnie wasn’t observing when I gave it a go, but my mom and friend were there watching. I pulled and pulled and inched my way up to a questionable height, which I did not give myself credit for. I assumed it was an inch or two short. But I was thrilled with the progress as it was much further than I had gotten last time I tried.

I went ahead and attempted some kipping pull-ups. I figured if the strict version was that close, than adding a swing and some momentum would surely get me over the top. But see, there’s that whole coordination thing that I am not good at. The momentum only really works if all the body parts work together in the right timing. I don’t have that yet. My swing has improved greatly, but connecting the swing with the pull was still not happening.

I dropped, feeling the hunger, still happy about my chin-ups, and decided to rest up for a few minutes. Maybe all I needed was a short recovery and some mental anticipation.

We visited with the parents and friends for a few minutes longer, until they left and Ronnie and I prepared for our little Sunday WOD. It’s fun to get these quiet workouts in together without the hustle and bustle of the usual gym bunch. It’s rare that he and I get to workout together, so when we do, it’s a nice change. As he got the rowers and kettle bells set out, I told him before we start, I was going to get that pull-up, and he was going to by my witness. I had convinced myself over the last few minutes after my first try that I wasn’t leaving the gym today till I got it. It was far too close.

I grabbed the bar, took a few deep breaths. I doubted. I second-guessed that I should try this again, lest I ruin the excitement of my chin-up accomplishment just days before. Took another breath, and pulled. I reached my threshold a few inches short, when Ronnie yelled “Kick it!” so I gave a little kick with my legs to thrust me upward those final couple inches, and he said “Got it!”

I am not 100% sure this counts as “strict pull-up” since I did have to use my legs at the last second for some extra energy, and it definitely wasn’t a kipping pull-up. So maybe it was somewhere in between the technical definitions. There are people that are sticklers for definition and technique, so I’ll make my claims carefully. But it was a pull-up, no-less, with no assistance from any external physical thing. My own body got my chin up above that bar from a dead hang all by itself. So it counts. I have accomplished the hardest part of my 2011 New Years Resolution. Now to get multiples, which will no doubt be easier. Once you know you can do something, it makes improving it so much more motivating and doable.

So, I’ve reached my goal. I feel incredibly proud and exhilarated. I’ve been buzzing on it all day. Ronnie went to take a Sunday afternoon nap and I can’t do it. I’m not doing much else productive, other than writing this post, but at least my mind is still accomplishing things. One thing I did realize in all my processing, is it didn’t feel like this. It was much more difficult than it was in my dream, but that made it all the more fulfilling.

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Disappointment

30 Jun

I was psyched for tonight’s workout after yesterday’s boycott. My mind was right and the workout was one I was looking forward to. We’d be working on our 1 rep max on deadlifts, and then a 5 round WOD of pull-ups, box jumps, and push-ups, 10 each. This is stuff I can DO. And I truly enjoy the strength sets as I get to really see what I’m made of and I’ve already seen improvements happen quickly already.

I had some target weights in my mind for deadlifts based on what I had done for 3 reps in the past, and what other people I knew throughout the day had done on the white board. But one thing I should learn by now is you cannot compare yourself to other people easily. People have very different strengths and abilities, no matter how much they look alike or look different. This stuff just doesn’t work that way, and my competitive nature is having trouble processing what to do with this.

So I got to it, high hopes and a confident backside. But my hopes were dashed when only one or two tries with added weight later, that bar would not budge off the floor. So I started taking weight off little by little to get to where I could lift it. I immediately got down on myself because my goal in my mind was much higher, and I was headed back the other direction. I honestly don’t know what I ended at. It was a little hazy and I was a little frustrated. I know the weight that I counted at the end was 159, but I don’t actually remember if I was able to lift that. I honestly don’t remember.

The rest of the WOD was fine but I was already down in the dumps, so I got very little satisfaction out of it. I beat myself up all the way home. I’m sure I’ll get stronger and keep working my way up the ladder of weights, but I can’t help but be completely disappointed and unsatisfied with the weight I did, especially in comparison to so many of the other girls. I’m pretty sure I was near the bottom of the list.

On top of it, we had to practice double-unders during the warm-up, the one thing I was trying to avoid by skipping last night. That was just icing on the cake, and maybe was just the wrong thing to get my mind right for tonight. Oh well, this is one of those nights I’ll just be satisfied with calories burned. That’s not as fun as celebrating a number on the bar, but at least it’s something.

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Antidepressant

15 Jun

I know laughter is supposed to be the best medicine, but I don’t think it always holds up. It might provide brief relief from whatever is ailing me at the moment, but when the laughter subsides I often sink back into whatever nastiness I was feeling before.

This week I’ve been feeling pretty crummy. I can’t really put my finger on it, but it feels like what I was feeling back when my birth control pills were making me sick. And I’ve been feeling this way since I started my pills last Thursday night, even though it’s the same prescription I’ve been on for the past year that I’ve felt fine. Maybe it’s a bug, maybe it’s a rut, but I hope to God it is not my body reacting to my pills again, because that is not a state of being I want to go back to ever. It was rough feeling like crap all the time, every day when I woke up, physically, mentally, emotionally.

Despite feeling less than my best, and being all by myself in the gym at work, Monday I did the CrossFit workout that Ronnie wrote for that day. It involved heavy squats, which I completed at the weight I’d worked up to last time, and them jump-roping and sumo deadlift high pulls, lots of both of those. Then yesterday I ran sprints alternated with jogging every minute for twenty minutes. Today I planned to hit Ronnie’s gym and participate in the CrossFit class, but my sense of well-being had been deteriorating as the day went on. I felt exhausted, bored, grumpy, and a little nauseated. UGH. It was that dreaded hormonal feeling I remember from last year.

I battled with whether I should rest at home by going to bed early, or if I should attempt to push myself out of this, or at least push through this with something productive to show for it. I even got halfway dressed in my gym clothes and then whined to Ronnie about my predicament when he got home. He didn’t baby me, just told me the workout tonight was “short” and to just try and go. I wrestled up the tiniest amount of courage or motivation or whatever you want to call it, got in the car and drove to the gym. I was a little frustrated and and disappointed to see that I’d be the only girl in class that night with four other dudes, but oh well, I was here. There’s no going back. I told Coach Jesse when I got there that I had a terrible attitude, wasn’t feeling well, and almost didn’t show up. He said “well then it’s a good thing you’re here. We’ll work on it.” Haha. He doesn’t know how stubborn I can be.

We warmed up, which involved stretching, some ground work that really irritated my spine (cannon ball rolls and hollow body rocks) and made me grumpier. I don’t know what is up with my spinal anatomy but there is one vertibrae on my back that sticks out further than the others and catches on every roll. The bone gets sore and I get a strawberry there. Annoying and painful! After that we did some jogs with high knees, butt kicks, and skipping. Do you know how hard it is to skip when you have a bad attitude? I had to laugh at myself. Skipping with a scowl is actually harder to do that skipping with a smile.

We finally got down to the strength part of the workout: heavy dead lifts. We had done these last week where I found I should work at around 115 lbs for 4 reps. Tonight, I ended 3 rounds of 5 reps dead lifting 135. Whatdoyaknow? Twenty pounds stronger in just a week. BOO YAH.

My energy started to turn. I was a little proud of my accomplishment, and couldn’t wait to tell Ronnie when I got home. But now it was WOD time, which meant I needed to dig up some intensity for pull-ups, box jumps, and running, four rounds for time. I sucked it up with my trusty green rubber band for pull-ups, a twenty inch box, and then the 200 meter run. It took me just over 8 minutes, and I was a gasping sweaty mess at the end. But it was over. I had conquered more than just a workout.

After a stretch, I left the gym feeling like a new person. Besides the physical effort I managed to dig up to complete the workouts, it was a major mental and emotional accomplishment tonight. I wasn’t sure if working out would make me sick, feel worse due to true exhaustion on top of whatever I was battling, or if it would flip a switch. I’d been working out the last two days, so I wasn’t confident this would do the trick. But reaching a new high, and beating this annoying little gremlin that’s been inside me lately, completely re-energized me. I came home and Ronnie barely recognized me from the girl who walked out the door earlier, dragging her feet on the way.

I hope it’s just been a weird phase this week, and not something I have to keep fighting or deal with my pills again, but at least I know what medicine I can take to help me feel better. I love getting stronger!

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