Tag Archives: workout

Backsliding

5 Mar

Sometimes I feel I’m backsliding. How is it I did 45 decent unassisted kipping pull-ups in a workout several weeks ago, and today I struggled like hell to get 50 sloppy ones? I was battling to get one, two, and rarely three in a row, barely getting my chin above the bar, probably questionably several times. Maybe it was the adrenaline and excitement in the first wod that I completed with no assistance that carried me through, because every pull-up wod since then has been a fight. I’ve even felt like my coordination and form is getting worse!

I’ve been wondering, as my form goes to crap, if I should jump on the band to finish properly? I did that for 3 reps today, and it sure felt easier and back to normal. Maybe next time I should grab the band for the wod to build my confidence and form back up? But then I feel like I’m loosing progress, rather than continuing to soldier through where I’m at now. If I keep struggling, eventually I’ll get better, right? I just get so demoralized when my body stops cooperating, sometimes it becomes more of a mental battle than anything.

Other than the 3 reps in the middle of the wod with the little pink band, I stuck it out and finished my pull-ups slowly, but sloppily. I hoped no one was watching me flail my body around. I’m sure I looked like a monkey with a seizure.

Not every wod can be awesome, and I gotta get the bad days out of my system. Hopefully that was it for this week. Bleh.

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Sometimes…I get a good feeling, yeah

27 Feb

I love this song by Flo Rida. No matter what mood I’m in, if it comes on, I can find a way to get happy. And then the beat kicks in and I just want to get movin’! And though I didn’t hear that song at the gym tonight, those words sometimes I get a good feeling might as well have been my theme song.

It began with push press five rep max. I haven’t done much of these for strength in awhile, and anything pressing overhead is definitely not my strength. But since it had been awhile, I went in with a “whatever I can get” attitude. I would focus on form and using my hips and core for power. I was hoping for 75 pounds at least. Several months ago that was my thruster three rep max, so being able to do five of that for push press would be a nice improvement. Other than push jerk (recently three reps at 90 lbs), it had really been that long since I’d done much press work overhead.

I hit 75 with semi-ease, so I knew I had to go up. But with presses, I can hit a wall fast. I almost went up only five, until one of my bar buddies said she wanted to add ten, so I thought “why not? What’s the worst that will happen – I can’t do it I’ll just go back down if that happens.” But I did it. The fifth rep at 85 lbs caught at a sticking point but I pushed it through and got it. It’s entirely possible that I could’ve pulled off five more at 90 lbs, but we ran out of time, and I was more than happy with 85. These kinds of numbers seemed impossible to me a few months ago when it came to pressing overhead, so it’s a great feeling to know I’m making progress there.

Then the WOD, which turned out to be one of my favorites we’ve ever done. 15 minute AMRAP of 3 heavy dead lifts, 6 hand stand push-ups, and 12 box jumps. I chose 135 lbs for my dead lifts, which I felt confident was doable so I could focus on my form. I need to build confidence on this lift, so while I could’ve gone heavier, I wanted to concentrate on my hamstring/glute activation, and too much heavier may have stressed me out into bad form. Of course my HSPU’s were modified by standing on a tire, but I’ll be here for a long time on these. Probably one of the last skills I’ll ever learn since it requires overhead press strength. And I stuck with the 20 inch box. I’m so scared of anything higher; I still have to gather my wits before every single jump on the twenty so I don’t catch my foot and crash. But I was setup for a WOD I could do, hopefully with very little break time or stops for water.

I got going, and after a couple rounds, when I would usually stop for a quick swig of water, thought neh, I can make another round before that. My throat isn’t that dry. A few more rounds later, the thought occurred again. I also hadn’t taken more than 5 seconds of catch-my-breath time between reps, other than the time it took to walk a few feet to each station. With only a couple minutes left, I had accomplished nearly eight rounds with no breaks. No reason to stop now! I was rolling, I was cruising, I had a good feeling. I finished with 9 rounds plus 3 dead lifts and 6 HSPU’s when the clock had run out. It wasn’t easy, but I didn’t feel like I got beat up, and I felt strong but challenged on each movement up until the end. It was like the perfect WOD. I wish I could get more of those! I’m sure tomorrow I’ll get my booty handed to me and feel like death, but it’s good to savor this feeling of accomplishment without total annihilation for as long as I can.

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Holding back the tears

9 Feb

I’ve become an emotional basketcase at the gym. It’s stupid, and it’s great. Maybe I get too into it. Maybe I should chill out and not get so attached to the going’s on. But I can’t help it, I’m a Feeler on the Myers Briggs personality type indicator. And sometimes, my feelings, both positive and negative, make their appearance in tears. But I’m also a Myers Briggs Introvert so I try to hide it 🙂

A few weeks ago I attended a local CrossFit competition fundraiser for Special Olympics. First, our gym represented! We had a great group show up and do far more than they thought they could. It was an amazing show of heart and sweat that was so inspiring to me and others spectating. But what got me was watching the struggle. I watched people who had stepped out of their comfort zone and really push them selves in ways they never had. And watched them almost quit. I even stood within feet of them and heard them say “I’m done, I can’t finish this” and start to walk away. But those of us standing around them said “no – you’ve got more in you. Just give it one more. You can do it.” And they so they kept going. I watched their bodies and faces in strife, digging for everything they had to get one more heavy deadlift, while everyone stood around and screamed and cheered in support. I got teary. Choked up as I tried to yell and keep my voice from cracking with emotion. Those were emotions of pride, inspiration, amazement, and team spirit. These were MY people, my fellow classmates – giving their all and finding more in themselves. It was weeks ago and when I think of those moments, I still well up with emotion.

*******

Then 3-rep max dead lift day comes along. That lift that I think (and a lot of other people think) is the lift of all lifts. The real, functional feat of strength. I haven’t done nearly what I thought I could do in this lift, ever. Girls my size and far smaller have long surpassed me in their ability to dead lift in proportion to their bodyweight. I know my form is off – I try to lift with my upper body and not so much my legs, but I haven’t been able to fix that problem. So I go for three rep max, telling myself empowering thoughts all day; I CAN I CAN, THE BAR IS LIGHT. Thinking about proper form and practicing it. But as soon as the number on the bar went past the point of what I’ve done in the past, everything went downhill. The “can’t. this is too heavy and you can’t do it since you don’t know how to do it right…” race over and over through my head. A few class mates and coach gather around to give me support, and all I can think is how I don’t want to disappoint them but I’m going too. If they would go away at least I could only disappoint myself. As I failed, I fought back tears. I shouldn’t be such a baby, it’s just weight on a bar and doesn’t actually matter. But it does, because I keep falling short of my own expectations of myself, and those around me who think I can do it.

*******

Last week I got the pleasure of witnessing the heart of a newer member push herself more than ever before, while the rest of the class who had finished gather around her for support. She chose her own bar weight for the WOD, which was more than she’d done before. She had two long rounds left to complete by the time most everyone was finishing. She was exhausted, she wanted to quit. But she kept going, sometimes only a couple reps at a time. The classmates who had finished began gathering around her, shouting words of encouragement and clapping, helping her count out her reps instead of going to cool down themselves. During her box jumps, the coach went over to her bar to tighten up the clamps, but she thought he was removing weight and she yelled at him “Don’t!” As hard as it was, she didn’t want anyone making it easier for her to finish! I would yell for her, then turn away to fight back my tears of excitement for her as she powered through. Her face radiated determination and perseverence, and I wanted to soak it up and bottle it for the next time I needed it. One classmate turned to me during her finish and said “This is why we do CrossFit!” And I couldn’t agree more. It’s so much MORE than a workout.

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Blank slate

25 Sep

The sun is setting on a restful weekend. It’s Sunday evening, and my last group workout was Thursday night. I went in there with sore lats and shoulders, and left with barely functioning arms. Could have been the worst upper body soreness I’ve ever had. Naturally, I took Friday and Saturday off.

I awoke today, refreshed, finally un-sore, and itching to get moving. It wasn’t anything fancy, just three rounds of 800 meter run and 15 pull-ups. I was on my own, so just getting the blood pumping again was my goal. But I lacked intensity, halfway because I didn’t care, and halfway because there was no one else there to care either. Until my last lap, I ran by the nearby bread company, pleasantly surprised to get cheered on by a ninety-year-old man standing out front. He clapped his hands and said “keep it up!” Had he been observing the group WOD’s in the neighborhood lately and caught on to how we do things? Who knows, but it sure was nice to get that encouragement at the end, when I wasn’t expecting it.

Tonight I wonder what this week will hold. I came down from my chin-up/pull-up cloud nine last week only to meet some really tough workouts. They’re never easy, but last week’s were especially hard on me for some reason. The kind where the pain doesn’t go away after you’ve cooled down, but reminds you during every single movement the following day, just how difficult the night before was. In a way, I love that. But sometimes, you just need to be able to focus on other things, like that project at work or pushing your daughter on her swing without wincing in pain.

Will it be another brutal week of workouts? Will I make any new personal records? Will I bring the intensity or will I show up to find it waiting for me? I just hope I can take the calm of the September evening breeze with me into the week, no matter what this week throws at me.

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Chinning Up

15 Sep

The name of this blog is “Pulling Up,” because that is my quest this year, to be able to do some honest to goodness pull-ups. First I want one, and then I want a few, and then I want to be able to complete an entire WOD with them. It’s about my journey to get to that thing that’s always been so far out of my reach. Haha, literally. And then it will be about the journey for what comes after that. Muscle-ups on the rings, I suppose, as we keep it literal, but I’ll continue my quest for double-unders, which, by the way supposedly I have been getting a double-under, just one rep before I whip myself with the rope, and I never knew it. Discovered that tonight, so there is hope there. And I continue adding weight to that barbell on all my lifts, and someday, have something really impressive for little ole’ me that might make some dudes jealous. I will get there.

My quest for pull-ups includes chin-ups, something that is typically easier than pull-ups. It uses the reverse-grip, so much more of a bicep strength movement, where regular pull-ups engage the lats. I’ve tried both unassisted over the course of the summer, and last time, I think nearly a month ago, I had the same no-go on both. From straight-arm hang to a couple inches higher, but no further. Not even a 90 degree bend at the elbows.

But tonight, one of the girls and I were just socializing before the workout over by the pull-up bar, which we were about to use in the WOD with the giant rubber assistance bands. She commented how she could get so many more chin-ups than pull-ups, but neither one enough to complete a whole workout without assistance. I responded that at least she had some, and that I still couldn’t do a single one of either. And then I said “Watch…” to show her my struggle, and proceeded to pull myself right up above the bar with the reverse grip. It was almost too easy, and I was shocked!

I’m still rethinking it in my mind, dissecting what happened, replaying the moment over and over, trying to find the flaw and convince myself it didn’t really happen. But I can’t find the catch, and I had a witness, so I’m pretty sure it was legit.

The feeling is amazing, and I’m re-energized on my quest for pull-ups. I’m hoping that with this progress, that means that elusive pull-up might be closer than I think…

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Expectations

14 Sep

I do it with my favorite restaurant, and I do it with CrossFit. I rave about something that is so amazing to me – whether it’s the best macaroni and cheese in the world (yes, not Paleo – a true indulgence nowadays) or the best and most efficient and effective workout. And then I hope and expect that other people will have the exact same reaction as me. Which is dumb, because every person is different. Things that impact me so suddenly and strongly don’t have the same BAM effect on others as they do on me. We are all different with different filters.

But I’ve seen it with CrossFit – people from all different levels, backgrounds, and experiences, they come in and find that thing they’ve been missing. For some, it’s the variety. For others, it’s the constant motivation for improvement. And for even more, it’s the community and friendship that makes working out hard a necessary evil to enhancing your social life. There are so many reasons. But in the end, none of them matter except for they get each person to show up. And after that, it’s all about a mental and physical battle of various sizes and proportions, but it’s almost always a challenge for each individual. Whether working out external stresses or overcoming self-confidence issues.

Or all of the above. It’s been that way for me – a different reason to go to class each time, and a different result. But I love that about it; it’s always the answer to whatever mindset I’m in. And the times I skip are because I need to for recovery, which is necessary.

But I fear that I build it up so much that when others try it, they won’t find all the things I’ve found. Especially because I’ve found these things as a progression. In someone’s first experience, they won’t get the full array of awesome reasons to do it. They may have just battled their toughest workout ever or experienced something so simple and basic like push-ups and squats that they are left wondering what is so special about this stuff. And I know, it’s not for everyone, but it’s for MOST people, really.

Just like the mac n’ cheese that has surprisingly let some people down (who are they and why don’t they love the cheese so much?), I guess it’s quite possible they won’t love Crossfit the way I do. But I hope, and expect. Because I know how much it has done for me physically, mentally, and emotionally. I want to share that with everyone so they can find health and a better life because of it.

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Blisters and Bacon Fat

6 Sep

I am still recovering from Saturday’s rope blisters. It was well worth it, though; my little sacrifice of skin during an honorary workout for charity is nothing compared to what our troops do on a daily basis. I’m not going to expand on the experience here, since I already wrote about the experience on my other blog, post titled “31 Heroes.” But, I definitely have constant reminders of that day. At this point, the blisters are no longer raw, but the scabbed over part is dried out and keeps cracking, which is a new kind of annoying pain in itself. Neosporin and Toy Story bandaids have been my best friends lately. We ran out of the adult skin-colored bandaids already so now I look really cool! Skyler is is actually jealous and feigning boo-boos now too so she can be cool like me.

I took Sunday and Monday off working out – not really on purpose, I just didn’t get around to it. I wasn’t even sore from Saturday, which is odd. Oh well, maybe the Progenex recovery drink I had immediately afterward really has something to it? Who knows. Anyway, tonight’s workout seemed like one I would normally have thought as fun, kettle bell swings, knees to elbows, and jump-roping (yeah yeah, still no double-unders here). And strength work on clean and jerk, which I quite like doing that move. But, I forgot my gloves, and my fingers are all blistered, so between swinging on the bars for knees-to-elbows, swinging the kettle bell, and barbell work, I was wincing just thinking about it. Ronnie said to modify with knees to elbow crunches on the floor if needed, but I didn’t want to miss out on improving on those by going back to the floor. I had just recently gotten the hang of those.

So I decided to try it all, chalked up without gloves, hoping my fingers would be healed enough to grip and hang on to everything properly. I really didn’t want to be a pansy, and kind of feared the wearing of gloves to protect my hands had turned me into one. And other than many, many trips to the chalk bucket between rounds, I made it through, with no new blisters or tears, original blisters sore but intact. Also went ahead and did 15 extra knees to elbows, just because I felt like it. I love starting out the week overcoming fears and difficulties!

******

So, bacon fat. Something terribly under-appreciated, over-criticized, and very misunderstood. It is an amazing thing on the a Primal diet. Not only does it taste good in a bite of bacon, but the leftover bacon fat is pretty amazing to saute with. Adds extra flavor to veggies or scrambled eggs. When cheese is out of the question, bacon fat has been a great flavor substitute. People get up in arms about animal fat and all it’s health issues, but there is good science behind the right balance of animal fat with protein, veggies, and fruit. People lose weight, lower bad cholesterol, lower blood sugar, and overall improve their health when eating the right balance. There are debates even in the paleo/primal circle on the right amount, and I’m not saying eat bacon all day every day, but cooking with the rendered fat of Sunday morning’s breakfast is not only tasty and not unhealthy, but economical too! The fat from a few pieces of bacon can last through several sautes. No need to by Pam Spray!

Recently, I’ve been craving mayonnaise, one of my favorite condiments. Store-bought mayo is not cool on the Paleo diet. Lots of extra junk in it like preservatives and things to help with the texture I guess. So I looked up some homemade mayo recipes, and most are Paleo. But then we saw a grilling show on where the guy was making burgers with BACON MAYONNAISE. Oh yeah, mayo made with bacon fat. So what did I do? Looked up a bacon fat mayo recipe (otherwise known as baconnaise). Super easy, super tasty. Rendered bacon fat, dijon mustard, lemon juice, egg yolks (or whites for fluffier texture). The amounts don’t particularly matter, as I kept adding things till I liked it best. It was amazing on my burger, and took away all cravings for the jarred white stuff.

Next up? I don’t know, imitation “bacon” cream cheese? That’s the other thing I’m missing these days 🙂

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Unavoidable

31 Aug

Seems like every time I go into a workout thinking “this one should be alright, maybe even fun”, one or both of two things happen: 1) we have to practice double-unders which I suck at, and 2) the workout kicks my a$$. Tonight, I got both.

I still cannot figure out double-unders, and I have made zero improvement. No matter what anyone tells me to try different or focus on (or not focus on), I just keep doing the Same. Wrong. Thing. Over and over. And it’s usually at the beginning of class so no matter what positive can-do attitude I had going in, I am quickly frustrated and down on myself for not having the coordination for this stupid exercise. It takes all my mental power to switch gears and get back on track for the actual workout.

Tonight I got my gears switched, but the workout involved two 800 meter runs outside in the upper-90-degree humidity. One to begin the WOD, then three rounds of kettle bells, hollow body rocks, and jump ropes, and another run to end the WOD. The last run I went all out, hit a wall after 400 meters but kept running, if not much slower so as not to hurl all over myself. But I knew one of the girls was closing in behind me, and I was closing in on another girl in front of me. Those two were a kick enough to pull out all I had left, swallow my nausea, and push forward. I passed the one in front and the one behind never caught me.

And then I wanted to die.

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Over the hump

8 Aug

Last week was a rough week for my “fitness self esteem.” I had moved up in difficulty level on nearly everything, which is obviously the desired progress, but that just meant all the workouts were an extra kick in the pants harder. I struggled through most of them last week and fell behind on the order of finishers, coming in at the bottom of the list. Not a place I’m used to being. Those lessons in humility are necessary, not just for the mental side of it, but for the physical. If it’s not getting harder and I’m not pushing myself to do things I haven’t done, then I’m not getting better, as in, stronger.

I had a healthy and restful weekend, and was ready to go in class tonight. There would be squatting, my favorite! The strength portion of the workout was front squats, which I have not done much with yet. I’ve done some in a conditioning workout once or twice, but not with much weight. Today was supposed to be as heavy as we could complete in two sets of unbroken 15 reps. And, we had to clean the bar into position, rather than take it off the rack. Another thing I haven’t tested my strength on: cleans. I’ve actually only very recently began feeling remotely comfortable with cleans, so I was interested to add some weight here.

I tried out cleaning 80 pounds (I had previously tried 70, but form was terrible and I barely did it), and had no issues. However, I did a few front squats with that, and decided against lifting that much for the number of reps we had to do. I dropped it down to 70 pounds, which was a simple clean, and a nice challenging front squat weight for the strength workout. I finished, with heart racing, no weight dropped, and shaking muscles.

Onto the WOD: 12 minutes AMRAP of 6 Sumo Dead Lift High Pull (SDHP), 9 Overhead squats, 200 meter run. Last time I did overhead squats I shakily completed it with the 45 pound bar. This time I would be attempting 49 pounds overhead (29 lb bar with two 10 lb plates). I was skeptical; I could definitely do a few, but could I do multiple rounds of that many reps, especially after a few SDHP’s? Well, turns out I CAN! It took all the focus, strength, and balance I had, but I completed 5 rounds of all three. After each round of overhead squats I thought for SURE I’d have to drop some weight to finish the next, but I kept focused and counting each rep, and they just kept coming.

I finished very proud of myself. I started three months ago overhead squatting a PVC pipe in the workout, then 30 lbs, then 45 lbs, now 49 lbs. Even after doubting myself. And the icing on the cake? Two of the other girls in my class did the same weight as me for the first time ever as well. We are all getting stronger together. It is such a great feeling!

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Disappointment

30 Jun

I was psyched for tonight’s workout after yesterday’s boycott. My mind was right and the workout was one I was looking forward to. We’d be working on our 1 rep max on deadlifts, and then a 5 round WOD of pull-ups, box jumps, and push-ups, 10 each. This is stuff I can DO. And I truly enjoy the strength sets as I get to really see what I’m made of and I’ve already seen improvements happen quickly already.

I had some target weights in my mind for deadlifts based on what I had done for 3 reps in the past, and what other people I knew throughout the day had done on the white board. But one thing I should learn by now is you cannot compare yourself to other people easily. People have very different strengths and abilities, no matter how much they look alike or look different. This stuff just doesn’t work that way, and my competitive nature is having trouble processing what to do with this.

So I got to it, high hopes and a confident backside. But my hopes were dashed when only one or two tries with added weight later, that bar would not budge off the floor. So I started taking weight off little by little to get to where I could lift it. I immediately got down on myself because my goal in my mind was much higher, and I was headed back the other direction. I honestly don’t know what I ended at. It was a little hazy and I was a little frustrated. I know the weight that I counted at the end was 159, but I don’t actually remember if I was able to lift that. I honestly don’t remember.

The rest of the WOD was fine but I was already down in the dumps, so I got very little satisfaction out of it. I beat myself up all the way home. I’m sure I’ll get stronger and keep working my way up the ladder of weights, but I can’t help but be completely disappointed and unsatisfied with the weight I did, especially in comparison to so many of the other girls. I’m pretty sure I was near the bottom of the list.

On top of it, we had to practice double-unders during the warm-up, the one thing I was trying to avoid by skipping last night. That was just icing on the cake, and maybe was just the wrong thing to get my mind right for tonight. Oh well, this is one of those nights I’ll just be satisfied with calories burned. That’s not as fun as celebrating a number on the bar, but at least it’s something.

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