So, I'm 20, and I have a thing for older males. My daddy is 63 and my brother is 40 so if you aren't older than them than you're pretty much date-able to me. But only one problem, older men seem to think they are my damn daddy. I mean dude, I know there is a significant age gap here but I'm a grown ass woman. I don't ask you for shit, I don't throw tantrums, you're not financially supporting me so miss me with the daddy shit. You're my man, or potential man NOT my father. I have one of those and damnit I'm kinda waiting for him to kick the bucket!
So what inspired this post? Well I'm talking to a 30 year old (In addition to Mr. Que Psi Phi) and he likes me or whatever. So he'll say something like "call me later" I'll say for him to just call me instead because I'll forget, everyone knows I'm super damn busy including him... He must have said "well if I'm that easy to forget we need not talk then" *pause* first off NIGGA, you're the one sniffing around my draws like a dog in the park, NOT the other way around and I need you to get out your damn feelings real quick like. My day does not revolve around calling or thinking about YOU! I'm not going to drop everything I'm doing to make you feel wanted because this is not how I operate. I'm a young woman with a life, and things to accomplish, either get with it or get lost.
I just don't damn understand it. Just like another older guy I was messing around with but not in a relationship with got upset because he wasn't the only guy I had on my plate.. Umm excuse you but you own no rights to my body or my mind. You don't want a relationship with me and that's fine but why the hell did you just tell me that you better be the only man in my bed.. You said MY BED.. At the house where only I pay bills at? and you're trying to dictate who comes in goes in MY house??
*presidential side-fucking-eye* get your life together. I'm not your child.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
Love Chronicles: Riddle Me This
Why would he care who else I'm screwing (not that I am) and he doesn't want a relationship right now.
So, the boo is worried about my sleep patterns, because I don't really get enough of it. I mean I sleep, but at weird hours.. yeah I know. Anywho, I text him and told him the other week "oh and btw, I got some good sleep last night" his reply.. "damn, what did you get some good dick or something?"... *pause*.. does it matter? do you care? why would you ask that??? So of course, I asked him! he said yes he does care, but it's my body and I would do whatever with it... Sounds like bullshit to me.
So now I need a man opinion. I mean I've gotten a guys opinion on this before, but I need a poll, because I'm that chick that likes to make sure I've explored all options. Either it's his ego, he really does want a relationship with me and he's getting possessive. Or I just got some bomb sex and he doesn't wanna share.. I really have no clue. Though he did tell me it was a combination of all 3.. I felt like that was a cop out. Who knows.
So, the boo is worried about my sleep patterns, because I don't really get enough of it. I mean I sleep, but at weird hours.. yeah I know. Anywho, I text him and told him the other week "oh and btw, I got some good sleep last night" his reply.. "damn, what did you get some good dick or something?"... *pause*.. does it matter? do you care? why would you ask that??? So of course, I asked him! he said yes he does care, but it's my body and I would do whatever with it... Sounds like bullshit to me.
So now I need a man opinion. I mean I've gotten a guys opinion on this before, but I need a poll, because I'm that chick that likes to make sure I've explored all options. Either it's his ego, he really does want a relationship with me and he's getting possessive. Or I just got some bomb sex and he doesn't wanna share.. I really have no clue. Though he did tell me it was a combination of all 3.. I felt like that was a cop out. Who knows.
Love Chronicles: Lemme rub you down (yall remember that song)
*sigh* I told yall Lucky Number 7 play football right? This can be used to my advantage (and his too) we get a lot of intimate time in w/o the sex. Just time to enjoy each others company and talk (well as much as I can get out of him) and touch... With oil... because after 2 a days he's worn out, and in pain, and since i have magical fingers, I get the pleasure of making him feel better. This is nice. This is real nice. I'm so glad that this isn't a strictly sexual relationship and that we actually communicate. I'm itching to learn his love language. Mine are words of affirmation ;). I think his may be quality time or acts of service. Maybe even physical touch. Either or I can deal.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Love Chronicles: You have a call from (blank) an Inmate at...
Dear POTS,
What are we gonna do sweetie? I love you with every fiber of my being but I won't continue to play the fool. You are back in Prison, this time for a year, but you're still there. And I'm here unprotected, unloved, vulnerable and I won't allow you to play on my weaknesses like that anymore. Baby, I'm not 15. I'm not so naive to the world that I think the sun rises with your smile and fades with your tears. I'm not that girl anymore. I'm a woman, all woman, and you have proven I may just be too much woman for you. I appreciate you for all that you've given me, the knowledge the hurt, the pain, the babies with other women, the embarrassment.. I do, because of you I know my worth, and I know that the shit you gave me, isn't what I'll be taking from any other man ever again.
You called me and said you had something for me when you got out.. something real special. For a moment, just a moment I wondered what it was. What you had for me! Then reality hit, you aint got shit for me because you're not in the position to give me anything but lies and game to get what you want. I'm here for you strictly as support because I never want to see you down, but if you think for more than a nano second that I'm gonna trip and fall over your game again. You will regret that thought. I'm so tired of these games you play and only out of love am I even concerned for you or your well being. I don't want to see you fail but honey... if the difference between my success and your success is you pulling me down to pick yourself up, I'm letting go of your hands right now! I refuse to be caught in this bullshit with you when I know that I am a very loving and nurturing woman that wants nothing more than to make MY MAN happy.. and I know that when I find that man it will be forever. I'm an asset, and a great partner, too bad you missed your chance to find that out. I'm moving on slowly but surely.
What are we gonna do sweetie? I love you with every fiber of my being but I won't continue to play the fool. You are back in Prison, this time for a year, but you're still there. And I'm here unprotected, unloved, vulnerable and I won't allow you to play on my weaknesses like that anymore. Baby, I'm not 15. I'm not so naive to the world that I think the sun rises with your smile and fades with your tears. I'm not that girl anymore. I'm a woman, all woman, and you have proven I may just be too much woman for you. I appreciate you for all that you've given me, the knowledge the hurt, the pain, the babies with other women, the embarrassment.. I do, because of you I know my worth, and I know that the shit you gave me, isn't what I'll be taking from any other man ever again.
You called me and said you had something for me when you got out.. something real special. For a moment, just a moment I wondered what it was. What you had for me! Then reality hit, you aint got shit for me because you're not in the position to give me anything but lies and game to get what you want. I'm here for you strictly as support because I never want to see you down, but if you think for more than a nano second that I'm gonna trip and fall over your game again. You will regret that thought. I'm so tired of these games you play and only out of love am I even concerned for you or your well being. I don't want to see you fail but honey... if the difference between my success and your success is you pulling me down to pick yourself up, I'm letting go of your hands right now! I refuse to be caught in this bullshit with you when I know that I am a very loving and nurturing woman that wants nothing more than to make MY MAN happy.. and I know that when I find that man it will be forever. I'm an asset, and a great partner, too bad you missed your chance to find that out. I'm moving on slowly but surely.
Love Chronicles: Que Dawg or Omega Man
Oh Mr. Que Psi Phi....
Age: 20
Occupation: Full time student/football player
Sign: Aries (lot in common)
Occasional chiefer, no kids, nice guy, fun to be around, and he lays pipe..... too good. *bless him*
I aint gonna front.. I'm digging this guy, he is definitely a leader, the fact that he plays ball says that he's a team player.. but is he a team PLAYER?? Like.. I know I gotta trust him one day, but he is a starting player on the football team.. AND a Neophyte in his frat.. and though I'm not greek, I do know that ppl tend to get real loose after they cross and with the name NASTY QUE DAWG to live up to, I'm not sure I'm ready to pull out the doggy bowls and shit just yet. While he hasn't given me a reason not to trust him, he hasn't given me a reason to want to love him with everything I've got either. True enough I show him lots of affection (maybe too much seeing that we're just friends) but I honestly don't wanna stop. This guy is the biz, and I honestly haven't felt this way about a man since *sigh* the jail bird.. who by the way will be featured (again) in an upcoming Love Chronicles. But you can't tell a man that you're digging them w/o them thinking you're bat shit or becoming attached and blah blah blah.. so I'll keep it to myself.
So far I've expressed my "interest" in him, but what I haven't said is "you make me look fwd to possibilities"... Because I'm afraid he may think it's much.. and though I'm basically saying "i like u" I can't just say "I like you" because I'm a writer and it's my job to make shit sound better than what it really is. DUH! smh. I am infatuated with this guy. I won't deny it, yes I wished he felt the same way, but no I don't expect him too, I'm perfectly fine with it if he doesn't. It's unrealistic to expect every guy I show an emotion for to reciprocate, doesn't make sense, doesn't have to. It's unfortunate though because as said previously he def has some boyfriend potential my main concern is whether or not he's caught up with being a Que Dawg or Omega Man because there is a huge difference (even though when he licks out his tongue I be ready to cum on the spot.. lawd have mercy, I'm a sinner). Dawgs are just that.. but Omega Men.. oh they are some exceptional brothas.. I've seen them, I want one. And lets not get it twisted, this aint about his letters, he has so much more to offer me than that, but they are a plus because I know he's involved, and he works hard, an achiever hell his GPA is better than mine (who knew jocks had brains) AND he's a gentleman.. or that could be a front. Who knows? But I'm willing to find out.
Age: 20
Occupation: Full time student/football player
Sign: Aries (lot in common)
Occasional chiefer, no kids, nice guy, fun to be around, and he lays pipe..... too good. *bless him*
I aint gonna front.. I'm digging this guy, he is definitely a leader, the fact that he plays ball says that he's a team player.. but is he a team PLAYER?? Like.. I know I gotta trust him one day, but he is a starting player on the football team.. AND a Neophyte in his frat.. and though I'm not greek, I do know that ppl tend to get real loose after they cross and with the name NASTY QUE DAWG to live up to, I'm not sure I'm ready to pull out the doggy bowls and shit just yet. While he hasn't given me a reason not to trust him, he hasn't given me a reason to want to love him with everything I've got either. True enough I show him lots of affection (maybe too much seeing that we're just friends) but I honestly don't wanna stop. This guy is the biz, and I honestly haven't felt this way about a man since *sigh* the jail bird.. who by the way will be featured (again) in an upcoming Love Chronicles. But you can't tell a man that you're digging them w/o them thinking you're bat shit or becoming attached and blah blah blah.. so I'll keep it to myself.
So far I've expressed my "interest" in him, but what I haven't said is "you make me look fwd to possibilities"... Because I'm afraid he may think it's much.. and though I'm basically saying "i like u" I can't just say "I like you" because I'm a writer and it's my job to make shit sound better than what it really is. DUH! smh. I am infatuated with this guy. I won't deny it, yes I wished he felt the same way, but no I don't expect him too, I'm perfectly fine with it if he doesn't. It's unrealistic to expect every guy I show an emotion for to reciprocate, doesn't make sense, doesn't have to. It's unfortunate though because as said previously he def has some boyfriend potential my main concern is whether or not he's caught up with being a Que Dawg or Omega Man because there is a huge difference (even though when he licks out his tongue I be ready to cum on the spot.. lawd have mercy, I'm a sinner). Dawgs are just that.. but Omega Men.. oh they are some exceptional brothas.. I've seen them, I want one. And lets not get it twisted, this aint about his letters, he has so much more to offer me than that, but they are a plus because I know he's involved, and he works hard, an achiever hell his GPA is better than mine (who knew jocks had brains) AND he's a gentleman.. or that could be a front. Who knows? But I'm willing to find out.
I'm such a Wimp
.. Guess what I'm doing right now?? Hiding out in my house! Playing hookie from the gym.. that I pay 30 dollars a month to utilize.. today would have been my first official day BUT when an associate asked me to come she failed to mention she would be with a group.. Ok.. now the reason I joined a 24hr gym in the first place was so that I could work out... uninterrupted and alone if I wasn't gonna be with a friend.. not so an entire group of ppl can watch how my thighs jiggle when I run. Yes, I am very self conscious, I wanna lose about 30 or so lbs and I do not want to do it in front of a bunch of skinny women.. there's a quote that goes something like this "A womans greatest joy is finding a woman fatter than she is".... can't recall who that is by but umm, you get my drift. I'll just wait till 2 in the morning to go.. alone.
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