Question for Quote Investigator: Physical and mental challenges accumulate as one grows older. Yet, opportunities for growth and achievement are undiminished. A comedian delivered the following pertinent joke:
Question: “Who would want to be 90?” Answer: “Anyone who is 89.”
Would you please find out who created this joke?
Reply from Quote Investigator: Tracing jokes is difficult because the creators are often anonymous, but there is intriguing evidence for this joke. The earliest match found by QI appeared in “Reader’s Digest” in 2003. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1
Some people might say, “Who would want to be 90?” And I say, “Anyone who is 89.” PHYLLIS DILLER on “Larry King Live”
Phyllis Diller was a pioneering U.S. comedian and actress who was born in 1917 and died in 2012 at age 95. Larry King was a U.S. radio and television personality who hosted “Larry King Live” on the CNN television network for more than three decades. QI believes Diller employed this joke while talking with King. She is the most likely creator.
Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
Harvey O’Higgins? Brice Durbin? Richard L. Evans? Pat Benton? Samuel Johnson? Anonymous?
Picture of an illuminated microphone from Unsplash
Question for Quote Investigator: The “freedom of speech” doctrine has always been controversial. People who voice unpopular or offensive opinions sometimes face dire repercussions such as severed friendships, lost jobs, public shaming, imprisonment, and even execution. The following statement presents an implicit rationale for this social backlash:
Freedom of speech does not mean freedom from consequences.
Would you please explore the history of this statement?
Reply from Quote Investigator: The idea of freedom of speech can be traced back to ancient Athens, and the discussion of resultant penalties is also ancient. This article focuses on finding close matches to the target statement using similar phrasing and vocabulary.
In 1917 “The Century” magazine published an article titled “Freedom of Speech” by Harvey O’Higgins which contained the following passage. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1
What they demand, apparently, is the right to continue to circulate utterances that have been held inimical to the interests of the community. They demand not only freedom of speech, but freedom from the consequences of speech.
They cry not for liberty, but for immunity from the responsibilities of liberty. They expect to be not only free, but privileged, exempt, irresponsible, and protected by some holy right of sanctuary in a temple of established freedom which they shall be free to defile.
The phrasing of the statement differed from the one under examination. The statement in bold did not directly claim that the demand mentioned was unjustified. Yet, the context clearly indicated that O’Higgins believed that the demand was unreasonable. Hence, the statement in bold was a partial match.
The article above appeared in the December 1917 issue of “The Century”, but it was available to readers in November. A commentator in the “Fort Worth Star-Telegram” newspaper of Texas referred to the article and presented another partial match:2
Harvey J. O’Higgins has an illuminating article in the December number of the Century Magazine on the subject of freedom of speech, which makes clear how unjustifiable is the outcry of those “enemies within our gates” who desire not only freedom of speech but also freedom from the consequences of speech.
The essay from “The Century” was reprinted in other periodicals such as “The Buffalo Commercial” newspaper of New York. Hence, the partially matching statement achieved further distribution.3
Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
W. C. Fields? Peter De Vries? Joe Sandwich? Morley Callaghan? Mary Steele? Ed McMahon? Chris Browne? Anonymous?
Picture of bottles of alcohol from Unsplash
Question for Quote Investigator: A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a statement is unexpected. This surprising element requires a comical reframing. For example, the following remark initially seems to be about spirituality:
A person has got to believe in something, and I believe I’ll have another drink.
This quip has been attributed to U.S. comedian W. C. Fields and U.S. novelist Peter De Vries. Would you please help me to find a citation and determine the correct originator?
Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match for this quip known to QI appeared in the 1967 novel “The Vale of Laughter” by Peter De Vries. The main character, Joe Sandwich, delivered the line while conversing and imbibing with the character Gloria. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1
The conversation had somehow gotten round to existentialism. Our Schweinhund leaned negligently back on one elbow and said, “Well, a man’s got to believe something, and I believe I’ll have another drink,” and held his glass out to the fractured Gloria, who knelt bottle in hand. He was pretending to be a wastrel. Tilting the bottle over his glass, Gloria said, “Just exactly what is um existentialism in a nutshell?”
De Vries built his reputation as a humorist via short stories published in “The New Yorker” magazine. QI believes De Vries is the most likely creator of this quip.
W. C. Fields died in 1946. He received credit by 1972. Overall, the evidence supporting the attribution to Fields is not substantive.
Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
Picture of Prague library of science, geometry, and astronomy from Unsplash
Question for Quote Investigator: A top-selling author once powerfully praised libraries with the following words:
Libraries store the energy that fuels the imagination. They open up windows to the world and inspire us to explore and achieve, and contribute to improving our quality of life. Libraries change lives for the better.
Apparently, U.S. writer Sidney Sheldon made these remarks. Sheldon created popular plays, movies, television programs, and books. Would you please help me to find a citation?
Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest match known to QI appeared in the May 1995 issue of the periodical “American Libraries” which published a short piece about Sidney Sheldon who was honored on his 78th birthday at the Los Angeles Public Library. The event occurred a few months earlier in February. A photo from the celebration showed Sheldon together with an executive of the American Library Association (ALA). Between the two figures was a poster created for the National Library Week of 1995.
The poster displayed the testimonial quotation under examination although some parts of the text were not visible because of reflective glare in the photo. The following line was visible on the poster. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1
Libraries store the energy that fuels the imagination.
The ascription to Sidney Sheldon was also visible on the poster. QI believes that this photo together with the citations presented further below provide convincing evidence that Sidney Sheldon should be credited with the quotation.
The article mentioned that Sheldon had recorded a five-minute video for ALA’s “Library Advocacy Now!” campaign, and it is possible that Sheldon employed the quotation within this recording.
Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
Anicius Manlius Severinus Boethius? Johann Wolfgang von Goethe? Ernest Hemingway? Banksy? Laurie Anderson? Amelia B. Edwards? James Grant? Sylvester Stallone? Anonymous?
Picture of a graveyard from Unsplash
Question for Quote Investigator: A family of expressions describes two stages of mortality. One stage corresponds to traditional biological death. The other stage corresponds to cultural disappearance which occurs when a figure is forgotten or socially inactive. Here are three examples:
(1) You die twice: first, when life leaves your body, second, when you are forgotten.
(2) You die twice: first, when you take your last breath, second, when your name is spoken for the last time.
(3) You die twice—once when you retire from public life and once when death takes you.
German writer Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, U.S. author Ernest Hemingway, U.K. graffiti artist Banksy, U.S. musician Laurie Anderson, and others have received credit for instances of this saying. However, I am skeptical because it is difficult to find sold citations. Would you please explore this topic?
Reply from Quote Investigator: This complicated subject is challenging to research because of the wide variety of expressions which mention dying twice. The first strong thematic match found by QI was written in Latin by the Roman philosopher Anicius Manlius Severinus Boethius in AD 523 within the work “De consolatione philosophiae” (“On the Consolation of Philosophy”). Boethius mentioned prominent Roman figures such as Brutus and Cato whose renown was declining. Boethius suggested that the recognition of well-known figures faded over time, and obscurity portended a second death. The text below presents an English translation1 followed by the original Latin verse. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:2
Ye lie then all unknown, and fame can give no knowledge of you. But if you think that life can be prolonged by the breath of mortal fame, yet when the slow time robs you of this too, then there awaits you but a second death.
Quodsi putatis longius vitam trahi Mortalis aura nominis, Cum sera vobis rapiet hoc etiam dies, Jam vos secunda mors manet.
In 1823 “The London Magazine” printed an instance in this family of sayings which was applied to actors:3
Actors have a double mortality and die twice!—First their mental faculties droop and become impaired, and they die from the stage, which is their public life; and then after a few years of inglorious silence and sloth, they catch the common trick of age, and die into dust!
In 1863 English writer Amelia B. Edwards published the novel “Barbara’s History” which contained a match using the word “forgotten” within the following dialogue:4
“He may be dead, my dear aunt,” said I, affecting a profound indifference; “but I do not really see how he could possibly be so twice over.”
“We all die twice,” replied she. “The first time is when we simply cease to be; the second, when we are forgotten.”
“Dear aunt,” I exclaimed, “that is very well said!”
Below is an overview showing selected examples together with dates and attributions:
Illustration depicting Voltaire and Émilie du Châtelet
Question for Quote Investigator: The philosopher and historian Voltaire (penname of François-Marie Arouet) wrote about metaphorically dying twice. One dies when one can no longer form a bond of love. One dies again when the physical body expires. I do not know the precise phrases Voltaire used to express this idea. Would you please help me to find a citation?
Reply from Quote Investigator: In 1745 the sixth volume of a large collection of works by Voltaire appeared. The following verse was included. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1
On meurt deux fois, je le vois bien : Cesser d’aimer & d’être aimable, C’est une mort insupportable : Cesser de vivre, ce n’est rien.
Here is one possible translation into English:
One dies twice, I see it clearly: To cease to love and to be lovable, It’s an unbearable death: To cease to live is nothing.
The verse was inspired by Voltaire’s complicated intellectual and romantic relationship with mathematician and physicist Émilie du Châtelet. Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
Mickey Mantle? Anthony J. Connor? David Plaut? Anonymous?
Picture of a baseball from Unsplash
Question for Quote Investigator: A prominent athlete believed that even top professionals should practice and continue to improve their capabilities. This attitude was expressed as follows:
It is unbelievable how much you don’t know about the game you’ve been playing all your life.
U.S. Major League Baseball player Mickey Mantle has received credit for this remark. Would you please help me to find a citation?
Reply from Quote Investigator: Mickey Mantle played for the New York Yankees between 1951 and 1968. In 1964 he published “The Quality of Courage: True Stories of Heroism and Bravery” which contained the following. Boldface added to excepts by QI:1
The point is, anyone who gets to the majors is a terrific ballplayer but, even so, he doesn’t know very much from a major league point of view. He has to start learning like a first-grader. When you reach the major leagues, it is unbelievable how much you don’t know about the game you’ve been playing all your life. You have so much to learn, so much to find out, so much to practice. And it’s the same in anything, in sport or out of it. The farther you get the more you have to learn, to study.
Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
Edward Hulse? Leewin B. Williams? Viola Brothers Shore? Arthur Godfrey? Walter Winchell? Anonymous?
Minimalist illustration of a bowing figure representing humility
Question for Quote Investigator: The feeling of humility is paradoxical. The instant you become self-aware and proud of your humility, it disappears. This thought has been stated as follows:
Humility is a strange thing. The moment you think you’ve got it, you’ve lost it.
Sir Edward Hulse has received credit for this expression, but I am skeptical of this attribution because I have never seen a solid citation. Would you please explore this topic?
Reply from Quote Investigator: Sir Edward Hulse, 6th Baronet, died in 1903. The 7th Baronet died in 1915. QI has found no substantive evidence that either employed this saying. The earliest match found by QI appeared in a 1938 work titled “Master Book of Humorous Illustrations” compiled and edited by Leewin B. Williams. This book contained thousands of brief passages about miscellaneous topics. The following sentence appeared at the top of a page without attribution:1
“Humility is that strange thing that the moment you think you have it, you have lost it.”
QI believes that the creator remains anonymous. QI conjectures that the attribution to Sir Edward Hulse resulted from a naming confusion. A different person named E. D. Hulse was linked to the saying via a religious periodical in 1967. See the details further below.
Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
Walter Kerr? Jean Kerr? Caroline A. Lejeune? Dorothy Parker? Walter Winchell? Goodman Ace? Clare Boothe Luce? Alexander Woollcott? Kenneth Tynan?
Picture of a Leica camera from Unsplash
Question for Quote Investigator: A famous one-line theater review employed a horrible pun. Many people have been credited with this pun, but I have never seen any solid evidence.
The target of the review was the 1951 Broadway play “I Am a Camera” by John Van Druten which was adapted from Christopher Isherwood’s 1939 novel “Goodbye to Berlin”. The two-word appraisal simply stated: “No Leica”. This wordplay was based on the pronunciation “like-a” for the German camera company Leica.
Drama critics Walter Kerr, Caroline Lejeune, and Kenneth Tynan have all received credit for this pun. In addition, the joke has been attributed to witty writers such as Dorothy Parker, Jean Kerr, and Goodman Ace. Would you please explore this topic?
Reply from Quote Investigator: The earliest close match known to QI appeared in the widely syndicated newspaper column of Walter Winchell in December 1951. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1
Goodman Ace’s capsule criticism of the play, “I Am a Camera”: “No Leica!” … (Sorry, folks. These Are The Jokes!).
Based on current knowledge QI believes that U.S. humorist Goodman Ace deserves credit for this joke. Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
Glenn Curtiss? Angelo Donghia? Stephen Robbins? Eugene Lewis Fordsworthe? Caroline Leaf Carol? Bill Gatter? Anonymous?
Train wreck disaster in 1895 at Montparnasse in Paris, France
Question for Quote Investigator: Relying on false assumptions leads to serious blunders. Here are two versions of a pertinent adage:
(1) Assumption is the mother of all mistakes. (2) Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.
This saying has been attributed to U.S. interior designer Angelo Donghia, U.S. military parachutist Bill Gatter, and others. Would you please explore the provenance of this maxim?
Reply from Quote Investigator: There are several versions of this saying which makes it difficult to trace. The earliest match found by QI appeared in “The Sun” newspaper of Baltimore, Maryland in July 1972. A political operative in a U.S. presidential campaign employed the saying. Boldface added to excerpts by QI:1
They would not be traveling anywhere if it were not for Stephen Robbins, 30, the chief advance and scheduling man, who breezily advises his even younger aides: “Don’t assume: assumption is the mother of foul-ups.”
The above citation suggests that Stephen Robbins may have coined the adage, but QI believes it is more likely that the saying was already in circulation, and the creator was anonymous. Future researchers may uncover earlier evidence.
Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.
