TV to laugh at

I sit on the couch nursing a baby a lot right now, and that's how I justify the amount of TV I watch these days.  I have a few notes on what's on TV these days:

1.  I'm pretty sure Tyra Banks is getting crazier every day.  I haven't read her book, "Modelland" , but I read all about it.  And this week's episode of America's Next Top Model was all about her book.  Instead of a photo shoot, the contestants had to do a "fashion movie" that was based on Tyra's fabulous new novel.  It was completely insane.  One girl was dressed as a cat, one was rubbing a toothbrush all over her face while crying, one was spraying whipped cream in her mouth (while Tyra told her not to be provocotive--hah!), one girl was sorting through the trash, and so on.  It was hilarious in a werewolves in Breaking Dawn kind of way.  I'm pretty sure Tyra was dead serious about her film.  I wonder, when I watch this stuff, if those contestants are rolling their eyes away from the camera, and thinking, Whatever it takes to get that money and TV time.  One word:  cuckoo!

2.  The Office has kind of tanked, although last night's episode got some laughs.  It was Tim and my go-to for a good laugh, and it's just not the same anymore.  After being told by everyone we know for ages that Modern Family was awesome and funny and not overly offensive, we finally started on Season One.  Boy, were those friends right.  It is HILARIOUS.  You know a show is great when you can't pin down who the best character is, because they're all so dang good.  (I admit, Cameron is my favorite, although the rest are great, too.)  So now Modern Family is our go-to for a good laugh.  Of course, it's not on streaming yet, so we have to wait around for the discs from Netflix, so we can only go to it on the days it's at our house.

3.  Does anyone else remember the show "Malcolm in the Middle"?  I watched it here and there when I was in college, and thought it was funny, but didn't get that into it. Now, as a mom of 3 boys, I find it much funnier and extremely entertaining.  It's available on streaming, which means it's our other go-to for funny TV when we're doing the dishes or folding the laundry. One of my favorite lines from Lois:  "Sometimes you have to yell.  It's the only way they'll listen."  Amen.

So, funny TV. I love it.

Not sure what to say

I went to Breaking Dawn Part One last night.  I went in having read the book so there were no surprises when it came to the storyline. So, as always, I will list my likes and dislikes of the movie.


Likes
1. The wedding and honeymoon.  I remember, when reading the book, wondering how in the world they were going to get parts of it on film and keep the rating under an R.  And apparently, it took the filmmakers quite a bit of effort to keep it at PG-13.  If you look at my review of the book you will find that one of my least favorite parts of the book was the overdone wedding and honeymoon section, because it took FOREVER to get through all the descriptions.  For some reason, however, the first 30 minutes of the movie were my favorite part.  The setting for the wedding was beautiful.  The filmmakers clearly had their target audience in mind when they selected the dresses, the decor, the music, and even the shoes.  The speeches added humor and started the film with a nice, light mood.  The honeymoon scenes, as naughty as they could have been, were pretty tastefully done, thanks to the editing department (see interviews done after the actors finished shooting it--apparently things were getting out of hand and they managed to clean it up a lot).  Bella's attempts to seduce Edward after he nixed anymore...encounters, shall we say...were funny and sweet.  Kind of weird that the part I liked the least in the book ended up being so much better in the movie.

2.  Edward's appearance.  I think Rob Pattinson finally hit puberty, or maybe all that hanging out with Taylor Lautner inspired him to hit the gym.  He seems to have filled out a bit.  I don't know if it's just that the wardrobe department figured out how to dress him better.  Maybe it's a combination of both.  And his hair, for the first time, didn't look like a gel-covered rat's nest.  They seemed to have backed off on the white makeup, too, thankfully.  It was the first time he looked remotely attractive to me.  It was a nice change.

3.  They made fun of the name Renesmee.  Thank you.

4.  I got to see a preview for The Hunger Games movie, which looks promising.

5. I was with my friends, and it's always great to have a friend sitting by you that laughs at the same things as you, and will tolerate the snarky comments that you throw at them throughout the movie.

Dislikes
1.  Oh, those wolves.  There are some things that just don't work on film.  Like a showdown between werewolves that only communicate psychically.  What it reminded me of was watching a Japanese anime movie with really bad dubbing, only instead of their mouths moving, the wolves were snarling and baring their teeth.  The fact that it was meant to be one of the most dramatic parts of the movie and the entire audience was laughing instead made me wonder how something that horribly bad made it to the theater.  I'm wondering if, like the publishers for the Twilight book series, the movie producers figured they'd make a gazillion bucks no matter what garbage they put on the screen.  (They were right, of course, although I'm not going back for a second screening.)

2.  What the heck was going on with Emmett's hair?  He just looked weird the whole time.  He used to be the hottest Cullen, but I was kind of disturbed by his appearance this time.  I wonder if they realized that he was outshining Edward in the hotness department, so they deliberately made him look funny.

3.  Speaking of hair, I missed Alice's spiky fun 'do.  I don't like change.

4.  The baby delivery scene was gross.  And I've been there in person three times now.  I just kept thinking, Please wipe off that baby (that looked like it was 9 months old).  Please clean off the gore now.  It was disgusting.  I know they were going for realism, but realistically, the reason they have all those towels is to clean up that baby as soon as it's out, so no one has to get covered in goo.  And they just wouldn't wipe off poor Renesmee.  And Edward, while you're at it, just wipe off your mouth really quick.  I had no problem with screaming (been there), grunting, cutting her open, and sound effects as the baby comes out.  But just clean things up afterwards.  Please.

5.  Did I mention the wolves?

6.  After Bella got pregnant, the whole movie got really angsty and gloomy.  There was just no humor.  There was some cheese, a lot of Edward trying to look upset, and a LOT of Bella looking like death slightly warmed over.  (Kind of like the book, but on the screen it was just worse.)  There needed to be moments of levity to break up all the bleakness.  And lameness.

There you have it, folks.   Just a note.  My husband just informed me that Breaking Dawn made $72 million yesterday.  So what I just said here doesn't really matter all that much, if we're being honest.  A franchise is a franchise.  I'm not going to be going back for a second theater viewing.  I think I'll stay home and watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 again instead.

Also...

There are two Snow White movies coming out next year.  Seriously.  Who sets these trends, and what on earth could be coming next?

The Return of Fairy Tales

3 TV seasons ago, vampires were all the rage.  We had the Twilight movies, Vampire Diaries (which I LOVE and watch religiously), True Blood, The Gates, and a bunch of other vampire-related shows and movies emerging at the same time. Even regular TV shows had episodes that had vampires and werewolves as a theme. I'm guessing the huge success of the Twilight books was what sparked the trend, but I can't be sure.  Something has sparked a new trend.  Well, maybe it can't be called a trend if it's just 2 shows, but it seems weird that they both premiered the same week.  Is there some sort of TV studio espionage going on here?  What is this trend?  Fairy tales in modern times, of course.  And, naturally, I have starting watching both of these shows, because I need something to record so I can watch it while I sit on the couch all day with the baby!  Here's my take on each show:

Once Upon a Time:   A young boy shows up at a woman's apartment, claiming to be the son she gave up for adoption as a teenager.  He insists that the town he lives in is under an evil curse, and that all the residents of the town of Storybrook are fairy tale characters who don't know who they are, and that his adoptive mother is the evil queen (who cast the curse on the people). His school teacher has provided him with a book of fairy tales that he feels is the history of the town and its curse.  And the only person that can break the curse is his biological mother, who also happens to be the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, who sent her into our world to save her from the curse.  It goes back and forth between our day and our world and fairy tale land, so you get to see the characters in both places and find out what really happened.

I haven't talked Tim into watching it with me yet, so I don't know for sure, but it seems to be aimed at girls.  There's a lot of romance and feelings.  There are also trolls and sword fights, so maybe guys would like it.  I am enjoying it.  I don't think about it all week, or count down to the next episode, but I am glad when it's sitting on my DVR, waiting for me to watch it.  It's fluffy and fun.

Grimm:  A detective in a big city (I can't remember which one right now, but I think it's Portland or Seattle, maybe) suddenly begins to see horrific creatures peeking through the faces of what seem like normal people.  At the same time, his aunt comes into town, towing a trailer packed with mysterious weapons and books.  She informs him that he is a "Grimm" whose job it is to hunt down the evil creatures from the fairy tales and kill them.  It turns out that the Grimm's fairy tales are really accounts of real stories and creatures.  For example, the Big Bad Wolf is really a race of men that turn into wolves, stalk girls wearing red coats and jackets, fatten them up, and eat them.  (Kind of like werewolves, but not just at the full moon.)  The detective finds himself working a kidnapping case that involves one of these Big Bad Wolves.  As he works cases he finds that these evil fairy tale creatures are often involved, and he is the only one that can see their true form.

This one is a lot more...gritty?  Is that the word I want to use? Aimed at guys?  Gory?  Violent?  In some ways, though, it's more silly. It's tricky to make a show that includes horrific creatures that are convincingly scary.  The three bears, for example, made me giggle a little, instead of instilling fear into me.  I think it would be scarier to have the evil creatures stay in human form but act like the creatures they are. (This is why serial killers and sociopaths scare me more than anything else.)  The idea is fantastic, but I'm not sure about those creatures.  There is potential for some great episodes, and I'm hoping that, like most shows that are getting their start, this one improves with time.  I think it will.  And Tim watches it with me, which I think is a plus.

So there you have it. Two shows based on fairy tales that are completely different from each other.  Let me know what you think about them.

Tender mercies

I know that the majority of my posts are a little on the grumpy, ranty side.  I wanted to change things up a little. There are times in our lives that seem overwhelming, exhausting, and discouraging.  In the last 4 weeks, in dealing with the challenges of a newborn and two other little boys that are dying for attention, I've felt overwhelmed, exhausted, and discouraged a time or two.  And on those days when I have felt like I just can't take another minute, someone has come along and dropped a blessing in my lap.

Here are a few examples of what I mean (and, as I think of it, a lot of it centers around food...):

The first day I was on my own, with Tim at work, my mom back in Orem, and the Relief Society meals done, I was feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.  The adrenalin from childbirth had worn off, I was dealing with toddler meltdowns, and the walls were starting to close in on me.  Out of the blue, my friend called and offered to bring me lunch.  That bacon cheeseburger was great, but even better was a visit from a friend, who cheered me up and reminded me that I wasn't alone.

It can feel very isolating when you first have a newborn.  You spend a lot of your day sitting in a chair, feeding the baby, and it is difficult to leave the house or even walk outside.  It can really warp your sense of community.  I was feeling super lonely one day, and the baby had spent a good deal of his awake time crying.  Tim got me outside into the sunshine, which was a blessing on its own, and then, while I was sitting on the lawn, my friends saw me from down the street and came over and chatted with me for a nice long time.  They didn't know it, but I had spent that entire day feeling friendless and abandoned (for no good reason).  Just chatting with me did a world of good.

2 weeks after the Relief Society had finished bringing in meals to help me, I was, once again, feeling overwhelmed at the thought of coming up with a meal for my family to eat.  The baby was fussing a lot, and I was discouraged at the thought of having to deal with an extra fussy baby.  I was spending an awful lot of time sitting on the couch, holding the baby and looking at my filthy floors, thinking there was just no way they would ever be clean again (I know, I'm such a downer!).  I spent a good part of that morning crying, until my mom called and said to gather up the kids, because we were going out to eat, and she was paying.  So we met for lunch and had a lovely time outside my den.  Then she followed me home, swept my floors, tidied up, and held the baby so I could take a walk on my own around the block.  That same day a woman from church called and said she was bringing me dinner, because she remembered what it was like in those days with little kids and a baby.  So, on a day where I thought I just couldn't make it to bedtime, two wonderful women stepped in and dropped unexpected blessings into my lap, turning a very bad day into a great one.

My first two babies spit up a lot.  A LOT.  Like, so much that I never had a clean shirt on, my couch was saturated in sour milk, I went through 5 burp cloths a day, and I was always worried about whether they'd kept down enough food to sustain them.  So last week, when the baby violently barfed up two meals in a row, my first reaction was, "Not again.  Now I've got to go to the doctor AGAIN to convince him AGAIN that my child has reflux problems and deal with gallons of spit up every day.  AGAIN."  I was mega bummed.  The mess that spitting up created made me decide to stay home from the church Halloween party, which was a huge disappointment to me.  After the trunk or treat was girls' night, which Tim insisted I attend.  The minute my friends asked how I was I burst into tears, and suddenly 4 wonderful friends were hugging me, offering me condolences, listening to my whining, and putting pumpkin cake into my hand.  I just needed a meltdown, and those ladies let me have my meltdown with them, and then they cheered me up and gave me treats to make it all better.

So, what's the point of all this?  Well, it's the first of November.  This month we celebrate Thanksgiving.  I thought I'd kick it off by recognizing the blessings in my life.  I feel like, through various wonderful individuals, I have been blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord.  Every day hasn't been difficult, or lonely, or overwhelming.  But on the days I have struggled and prayed to just make it to the end, these wonderful women have showed up when I needed them most and made a difficult time bearable, and for that I am grateful.

Actual Retail Price...

As a kid, I was very limited on the type and amount of TV I was allowed to watch.  One of the few shows that was parent-approved was The Price is Right, which I devoured daily every summer.  At 9am, I would drink in Plinko, the Dice Game, fabulous prize packages, a NEW CAR!, and, best of all, Bob Barker and Barker's Beauties.  I dreamed of being a Barker Beauty. I guessed at all the prices, even though I had no clue how much anything cost, never having bought things like multi-vitamins or denture paste before.  I LOVED it.  In college, my roommates and I would dream about going to Southern California, wearing matching T-shirts and ending up winning the showcase showdown at the end.  At that point, I couldn't watch all the time, and, as life went on, I watched less and less until I stopped watching altogether.  I was sad when Drew Carey replaced Bob Barker, but since I wasn't really watching anymore, it didn't ruin my life.  Every once in a while I'd turn on the TV at 9 and my TV would be on the Price is Right, so I'd watch for a few minutes.  Drew Carey seemed like an okay fit.  He was funny, engaging, and seemed to love what he was doing.

Fast forward to this morning.  I spend a LOT of time on the couch these days.  I feed a newborn every 2 hours all day and night.  This morning, having dragged myself out of bed for the last time until tonight, I settled into my butt groove on my couch and turned on the boob tube (get it?), and thought I'd catch up on an old favorite.  As I tuned into The Price is Right, my first reaction was, "Whoa!  Drew Carey has really thinned out!"  Then, "What's with Drew Carey's hair?"  Then, after watching for a few minutes, "That is one sad man."  Drew Carey seems to have lost more than weight.  He seems to have lost the love.  No smiling, minimal chit-chat with the contestants, and a total lack of enthusiasm for anything he was doing.  It was horrible!  And the guy who won the showcase showdown at the end got within 26 bucks on his guess, and won both showcases, which NEVER happens, and still no joy.  It was painful to watch contestants who were screaming and jumping up and down next to a host who seemed...gray.  Bland.  Disconnected.  What has happened?  It's time for a reboot!

So, after I've gotten past the feedings every other minute stage, who wants to drive down to Southern California with me, get on the show, and wear T-shirts saying, "At least pretend you like your job, Drew Carey."?  Who's with me?

A quick note

I made it!  After stressing out and annoying everyone I know with my negative predictions of having the baby weeks early in my car, my beautiful baby boy came after a calm induction in a hospital bed with the doctor, nurses, my husband and my mom all present.  So thanks for bearing with all my doom and gloom!  Here's a peek at the little guy:

Scattered thoughts

I am in the final stretch of pregnancy, and I have a confession to make.  Feeling huge and uncomfortable and tired all the time makes me super grumpy.  So in order to not be a completely horrible mother, I am going to do a tiny bit of ranting and then play the glad game.

1.  Clearly my new child will not be named Bronco.  BYU did NOT beat Utah.  In fact, they didn't even really show up at the game.  They seemed to have been replaced by a pee wee team.  The good news is that they found their way back to the field against CFU.  They may even show up tomorrow against Utah State (fingers crossed).  But I'm still not naming my kid after one of them, even Bronco Mendenhall, who I think is an awesome coach.  It's just not the season to do it.

2.  You can spend a boatload of money on super fast internet, Netflix streaming (don't get me started on Netflix, though), a fancy modem, and a computer that works really well, but if your wireless router is a piece of crap, you have just flushed all the money you spent down the toilet.  And, after sitting through reload after reload while trying to stream Netflix and not having working internet on my computer half the time, I am ready to spend whatever it takes to get things working.

3.  On that same note, I'm pretty sure all the technology in our house is plotting against me.  It's like everything electrical has decided to make it impossible for me to just be a bum for the last few days before this baby pops out.  All the Wii remotes' batteries died at the same time, which seemed so unlikely that I blamed it on the Wii going on the fritz and spent 2 days not streaming from it.  The DVR remote has decided to give me a 10 second delay after pushing buttons.  This test of patience is not fair to someone that just wants to find out who got the boot from ANTM before going to bed.  The Blu-ray player decided that the delay was hilarious and took a full minute to get to the Toy Story 3 menu after selecting the English option while my 3-year-old kept yelling, "WHERE IS TOY STORY???"  The laptop seems to be doing fine, but the website for the elementary school that lists their phone number won't load, no matter how many ways I try to type it in.  I just need to be able to call the school when the baby comes so Jacob knows who's picking him up from school.  At least my new phone is working, knock on wood.

Now for the glad game:
1.  4 days until my induction.  So far so good.  There is the chance that I will make it to the hospital, get painkillers (yay!), and have a much calmer experience having this baby.  I am thrilled.

2.  This weekend is General Conference.  I love Conference weekend for so many reasons:  1. the chance to sit and listen to the Prophet and other fantastic church leaders, 2. the chance to stay in my PJs all weekend, 3. a weekend off from church callings, which for me means a Sunday where I'm not hashing through the hymns painfully while the Relief Society tries very hard to smile politely and figure out what the real melody should be, 4.  This time, it means guilt-free couch lounging all weekend before bringing home a baby.  And really, it's nice to be spiritually fed without having to wear a dress.  There's nothing bad about conference weekend.

3.  Psych is coming back on soon.  Hooray for Shawn and Gus!

4.  There's a new episode of Vampire Diaries tonight.  How can anything be too rough when you have that to look forward to?  Thursday nights really are the best.  Fingers crossed that technology won't mess this one up!

Okay.  I'm feeling a lot calmer and less prone to cussing now.  Thanks for bearing with me while I get it all out.

How to pass the time

I am reaching the point where I'm counting down to the day this baby comes out.  And when you start counting down, things slow WAY down.  It's the worst kind of torture.  And it's hard to count down to something that could happen tomorrow or in 3 weeks.  It was in this frame of mind that I clicked on my wish list on Amazon and rashly ordered the first 2 seasons of Vampire Diaries on DVD.  It wasn't really that rash.  I had just read an article about how just about everything on my instant streaming queue was going to disappear in February.  Also, I was getting excited about the season premiere that's happening Thursday.  The point is, now I have 2 seasons of excellent vampire fun to watch to pass the slow days until I have this baby.  It's one of the many ways I am trying to pass the time until the blessed event.  Here are some other things I'm doing to make the days seem shorter:

--watching a whole lot of food network and thinking about how awesome it would be if I made dishes like that for my family, then making mac'n'cheese.
--planning baby announcements and thinking about the places I need to go to get supplies.
--reading all those books on my shelves I've wondered about.
--building stuff with Legos, and then having my toddler tell me that is NOT a good spaceship.
--getting on facebook 500 times a day to see what thoughts are passing through everyone's heads.
--playing Angry Birds Rio on my cell phone.
--doing crossword puzzles on my cell phone.
--counting down to the next BYU football game (please beat Utah this week.  For me.  I will name my child Bronco.)

Things I'm NOT doing to pass the time:
--laundry
--mopping
--cooking (mac'n'cheese, remember?)
--making my bed
--vacuuming
--the dishes
--clipping all those coupons that are sitting, untouched, in my growing pile of Sunday newspapers

Yeah, I'm sitting in a pig sty on my couch, deepening that butt groove while I wait for this baby to come out. Don't get me wrong.  I still get down on the floor and play with my toddler and read books to him and all those other motherly things.  We just don't get far from that couch.  So, how do you pass the time when you're tired and huge?

Eating my words

Target has pulled through for me again.  Why, oh why can't they build one closer to my house?  It would have saved me hours of searching at other, far inferior stores.  Well, maybe not hours, but half an hour at Walmart is the same as 4 hours at a good store.  I gathered my energy and headed straight to Target this morning.  And they had options!  They had newborn sized sleepers, newborn sized outfits, a newborn sized little snuggie thing that looks like it will actually keep the baby warm, and a bunch of other accessories for BOYS.  Yes, baby boys.  Someone remembered that, even if boys don't wear cute things like bows and sparkles, they still need to be clothed.  So a huge shout-out to Target.  Now I have another reason for it to be my happy place.  (They have also retained their maternity department, unlike Shopko and Walmart.)

Another search

Remember when I did a post whining about the disappearance of maternity clothes in almost every store?  I'm pretty sure those same great fetchers are also removing all baby boy clothes from the stores.  Seriously.  After having gone to Park City, the University Mall in Orem, and Walmart in search of some new clothes for my upcoming bundle of joy, I have a total of 3 newborn sized sleepers and 2 packs of newborn sized onesies.  I just want to find something to put my baby in for his first few months until he fits into the 0-3 month clothes, which seem to be the size of choice at Walmart (for the 3 outfits and/or sleepers they actually carry).  I have all three of those outfits.  Don't get me wrong.  There are PLENTY of baby clothes at the store.  It's just that they are all pink and flowery and super duper cute.  I happen to know 6 women (including myself) that are expecting baby boys in the next few months.  So it's not like there's a shortage of boys around.  They still need clothing, and I'm certainly not putting my little guy in a pink sleeper.  Is there anyone out there that has found a secret stash of baby boy sleepers I can buy?  I swear 3 years ago there were plenty of baby boy clothes.  So they have to have gone somewhere.  They are probably in the same place as all those maternity clothes that have vanished.

Why Facebook is a good idea

I admit, at first I thought Facebook was kind of ridiculous.  I don't need to know everything everyone is up to.  For example, the whole world doesn't really need to know that you just flushed the toilet.  Or that you had a cheese sandwich for lunch.  This is partly the reason I haven't even touched Twitter.  But as I've spent more and more time on Facebook, I have discovered a few joys that exist because it exists:

1.  Sometimes it's nice to complain about something, like people who shoot ahead to the end of a merging lane to butt in front of those of us who got over a half a mile ago when we saw the "lane ends" sign.  Then you get 20 comments by people who agree with you.  It makes you feel more justified in your indignance.

2.  Sometimes people write hilarious things about life, a lot of which are about their kids.  It's nice to know that other moms have 2-year-olds that do crazy things, and it makes it easier to laugh at my own situation.

3.  Without Facebook, how would I have gotten a gazillion birthday wishes from friends and family?  Let's put it this way:  I got one phone call for my birthday today, and at least 35 birthday wishes on Facebook.  Every 5 minutes I got notifications on my phone wishing me a great day.  Who doesn't feel showered with love after a birthday like that?

And that, my friends, is why I love Facebook.

Harry Potter 7.2

So...I have already complained about the audience at the movie theater the night I saw Harry Potter, but I haven't said anything about what I thought of the movie.  I can't be too detailed about it at this point, because I have prego brain and can't remember details all that well.  I plan on seeing it again, but I thought I'd let you know what my overall impressions were.

*SPOILER ALERT*

Stuff that I didn't love
Changes that were made  Movies are different than books.  Things that work in books don't always work in movies.  So I try very hard to keep an open mind when there are deviations from the book.  However, there were a few things that were different from the book that I thought should have stayed the same.  Harry and Voldemort's final battle takes place in the Great Hall in the book, with the entire wizarding community watching.  It seems pretty important to me that everyone sees Harry finally defeat Voldemort for good.  In the movie, though, they duke it out in the courtyard while everyone's inside.  It makes it seem less significant, somehow.  One of my favorite parts of the book is when Mrs. Weasley takes out Bellatrix LeStrange.  This still happens in the movie, but I wanted it to be a longer battle with a little more oomph.  It seemed too minor to me.  Still, at least that wasn't left out, nor was Mrs. Weasley's line, which I won't quote, but it happens to be one of my favorite lines in the book and the movie.

Draco as an old guy  The rest of the cast looked pretty convincing as being 19 years older, considering the fact that the actors are almost that old anyway.  But putting a beard on Draco was just silly.  Laughable, really.

Stuff I loved
Everything else, but let's start with the emotional stuff  I'm sure there were other things I wished were different, but I can't remember what they are.  I do remember that I loved the way they handled Snape's memories.  Oh, how I cried.  I was biting back sobs.  It's because I read the book and knew what was coming.  I could barely handle the sadness and tragedy associated with Snape.  I also loved Harry's walk through the woods, when he's there with his parents and loved ones.  (Again with the sobs.)  The book describes the scene very clearly and very well, but seeing it on the big screen was even more moving to me.  I think that was the case for most of the movie, really.  Seeing Tonks and Lupin laid out, the Weasley family weeping over Fred's body, and Hogwarts in ruins made the fact that it was the last movie real.  And got the tears flowing even more.

Some of the funny moments that I appreciated because they lightened the tone:  Ron and Hermione making out after destroying the horcrux.  Hilarious.  And seriously, it's about time.  Also, Hermione as Bellatrix.  Helena Bonham Carter is one talented actress.  She does good girl trying to do evil witch so convincingly.  I also loved Harry pointing out that there was no need to plan, considering that none of their plans work anyway.  Good point, Harry.

Like I said, my memory is shot.  I like the movie a lot.  I can't wait to see it again.  Two enthusiastic thumbs up.

I finally made it Harry Potter last night.  And I will write about that next.  But I have a major beef to air, and since this blog is called Rac's Rants, here is a rant.

Tim and I love to go to movies.  Our similar taste in movies makes it something we really enjoy to do together.  We are willing to fork out the dough to go to a good movie theater with excellent sound and assigned seats so we can have the best viewing experience possible.  One of the factors in a good viewing experience is not having our kids with us.  Of course, we take our kids to movies that are meant for kids, because it's a fun family experience.  But even at those movies, when our 2-year-old has had it and starts to get noisy, we take him out of the theater.  But we NEVER bring them along to a grown-up movie.

Last night, I called around until I found a babysitter so Tim and I could to Harry Potter 7.2.  I didn't purchase my tickets until I had actually found a babysitter.  This way, there was no chance that we'd be stuck with movie tickets and 2 little boys with nowhere to go.  Apparently, this is not how everyone does things.  When we got to the theater and had settled into our seats, a couple walked in with what looked like a 2-year-old and maybe a 4-year-old.  They were sitting in the row ahead of us.  Groan.  Then another couple walked in with a baby that was probably around 8 months old and ended up directly in front of us.  Double groan.  Here is why I think it is wrong to bring little kids to a PG-13 movie at 7:30 at night.

1.  Those of us who are paying babysitters at home did so so we wouldn't have to listen to kids whine and cry and kick the seats.  When the baby in front of us started to fuss, the mom nursed the baby for about 5 minutes to calm her down.  And then she kept fussing. So they gave her a toy to cheer her up, which she did, and then she was making happy noises.  But fussing and happy noises are both NOISES.  And we got to hear those noises for the first 20 minutes of the movie before Tim said, "That baby's got to go out," and they finally removed her from our row, and took her to the end of the row, where she continued to make noise.  The parents didn't completely remove her from the theater until about halfway through the movie.  It is EXTREMELY distracting to have a baby crying.  It interrupts any kind of mood the movie is creating.

2.  News Flash: Some movies aren't appropriate for little kids.  Harry Potter was one of those movies.  That 13 at the end of the rating should be an indicator to parents that the movie isn't aimed at toddlers.  And every time we go to a PG-13 movie, even at 8pm, there are little kids all over the place.  When we went to Star Wars: Episode III, there was a little girl that was about 5 sitting next to me.  She was terrified and cried the whole time, and her dad refused to take her out.  He just said to her, "Oh, don't be scared.  It's not real."  Yeah, that helped.  The same thing happened when we went to see Spiderman 2, and Doc Octopus was taking out the entire hospital staff.  There was a row of 3and 4-year-old boys in front of us, and they were whimpering and crying, and none of the adults with them would let them leave.  I'm not sure what's going through those parents' heads, but as an outside observer, it just looks selfish.  You wouldn't want to miss part of your movie just so your kids can have relief from the terror they're experiencing because you refused to get a babysitter, right?  Last night, every time something scary happened, I worried about those little girls sitting in front of us.  It's none of my business to tell other people how to raise their kids, but when those kids are screaming and the parents aren't doing anything about it, it ticks me off.

3.  It's just rude.  There is a huge effort going on to get people to turn off their cell phones, and it seems to be working.  People are turning them off.  So why isn't there an effort to get kids out of adult movies?  It is even more distracting to have a toddler screaming her head off next to you or a baby crying or a 6-year-old kicking your seat than to have someone's cell phone go off for a few seconds (although that's still lame).  There are plenty of kids' movies out right now.  If you're going to a movie as a family, why not see a family movie?  If you can't find a babysitter, wait until you can.  If you can't afford a sitter, arrange a trade with friends so you both get to see the movie without your kids.

The theater we went to in Mississippi had a policy that wouldn't allow children under the age of 10 (or maybe even 13) into PG-13 movies after 7pm.  It was the best idea I've ever seen.  I knew that if I went to a grown-up movie, I'd be watching it with grown-ups.  Maybe we can encourage that same policy in our theaters here. Who's with me?

So You Think You Can Be a Pussycat Doll

Is anyone else watching So You Think You Can Dance this season?  A few thoughts about the show thus far:

1.  What is up with the naughty outfits and even naughtier dancers?  There are a few dancers that actually said in their intro packages that their dream was to be a Pussycat Doll.  There's one contestant in particular that is an incredibly talented and skilled dancer, but all she seems to do is prance around in her bra and panties and sticks her booty out far too much when she's asked to dance for her life.  And then she acts all coy and innocent when a choreographer asks her to pretend she's seducing her dance partner.  Blech.  Pick a personality.  And could it please be the one that covers up a little more?

2.  I love Cat Deeley.  She's fantastic.  Not only is she fun to listen to because of her British accent, but she seems so at ease, just standing up there chatting with the judges.  She also seems very genuine, and if she doesn't care about the contestants, she does an amazing job hiding it.  When it's auditions, she goes outside and freezes her buns off with all the peons trying out for the show.  Plus, you just never know what she's going to wear next.  And she just finally got nominated for an Emmy.  (Take that, Ryan Seacrest!)

3.  I'm loving the rotating celebrity judges.  So far we've gotten Megan Mullaly, Kristen Chenowith, Carmen Miranda, one of those guys from Modern Family, and Doogie Howser.  (And a few more, probably, but I'm blanking.)  It's nice to get a fresh perspective on things.  I just wish it were Mary Murphy getting rotated out, not one of those other choreographers that used to be a judge.  Why does she yell SO MUCH?

That's all.  Just putting it out there.

A little late, but the thought was there

First of all, happy anniversary to my super great husband.  I happen to know that he doesn't look at this blog all that often, so it's a good thing I told him happy anniversary on the actual day.  But I'm just giving a shout-out to a very kind, very patient man.  He has been dealing with a grumpy, tired pregnant lady for the past 6 1/2 months, and he deserves a medal.  One example I can share of his kindness is that he let me choose our new mattress at Ikea, which I kind of insisted was perfect.  Then, when we brought it home and I had slept on it for a few days, then sat up in the middle of the night, crying in frustration at the horrible hard new mattress, he immediately got the foam mattress topper from the spare room and put it on my side of the bed so I could get some sleep.  With no complaints.  He never pointed out that I was the one that chose the stupid mattress in the first place, or that maybe a lot of my lack of sleep has to do with the giant belly I'm hauling around.  He quietly helped fix the problem.  Thanks, honey.

For our anniversary we went on a date (HOORAY), and went to a fancy restaurant in downtown Ogden called Jasoh!  Yes, the exclamation point is part of the name.  They have two sections, with two separate menus: casual dining and snooty dining (I can't remember what they really called it).  We chose snooty, and here are a few items from their menu:  Himalayan Yak with Quinoa, Lamb Loin with curried asparagus, and Quail stuffed with Andouille sausage.  To name a few.  We felt like total rubes while we were ordering, because we had to ask what buerre blanc meant (butter sauce) and what gastrique was (a reduction sauce).  It was tres chic.  Tim got adventurous and ordered the quail.  I was pondering ordering a chicken dish, but once he stuck his neck out, I decided to go with the Duck with chocolate gastrique.  Wow, was it good.  It was on a bed of penne pasta with a creamy fontina sauce.  I ate around the wild mushrooms (a mushroom is still a slimy mushroom), but the chocolate gastrique combined with the moist and tender duck meat and the creamy sauce was TO DIE FOR.  I was seriously disappointed that right now I can only fit a tiny amount of food in my stomach before I'm full.  I will be going back again and ordering the duck again and eating every last bite of that dish.  Or maybe I'll try the yak.

This culinary experience is responsible for my new TV addiction, which is the Food Network.  I was idly flipping channels the other day while Tim was making a bunch of phone calls, and happened upon Food Star.  It caught my eye because there was a really nervous-looking chef presenting a very complicated-sounding dish to Courtney Cox.  Because of my amazement at the deliciousness of the combo of chocolate, fontina and duck, I became fascinated with the combinations the chefs were creating for their dishes.  The chefs had to present their dishes to the cast and crew of Cougartown, and it was quite enjoyable to listen to their critiques of the food.  I am a meat and potatoes, mac and cheese kind of girl, and have never been drawn to fancy food.  It has never looked good to me, and usually when I hear what's in a fancy dish I think, "Gross!" and eat my grilled cheese sandwich.  But now I am convinced that, even if it sounds wrong, or looks weird, it just might be the tastiest thing I've ever tried.  And watching chefs come up with those recipes is now fascinating to me.  I'm not saying I'm going to start cooking fancy at home, at least not right now.  Just like I'm not going to become an amazing hip hop dancer or lose 100 pounds right now.  I am going to watch other people do those things on TV.  If, after this baby is born and I have lost that 100 pounds, I am motivated enough, maybe I'll learn a few fancy dishes to impress guests when they come for dinner.        

The Down Side to Fanhood

If you have been reading my blog for a while now, you may have noticed that I've posted a few things about Twilight.  Maybe just a thought or two about the movies, the books, the actors...  I've kind of set myself up for the problem we are now facing in naming our next child.  We are expecting boy #3.  Yes, hooray and all that stuff.  To be honest, I'm relieved it's another boy.  It's what I know.  And, being a completely emotional and ever hormonal girl, adding another girl to the family could be...explosive.  But I digress.  The naming problem.  You may know that our oldest son's name is Jacob.  He was named Jacob before I read Twilight (which I read in 2007, if you must know, and Jacob was born in 2005).

When we found out we were expecting boy #2, we pulled out our family history chart to get some name ideas, and grabbed a few names we liked.  One name that was prevalent in the family tree was the name Edward.  It was a name we both agreed would fit well in our family, and it works with our last name.  But you see where I'm going with this.  Despite the fact that I named our oldest son Jacob before the Twilight craze, in order to avoid constant teasing, I will never get to use the name Edward for one of our sons.  Or Bella for a girl, should that situation present itself (not that Bella has ever made the list for either Tim or me.  It hasn't and won't.  It's a fine name, but it's even more Twilighty than Edward).  This is the downside to being an outspoken fan (or critic, for that matter) of something that's such a huge part of pop culture.  So we didn't name #2 Edward, we opted for Tyler.  Now comes #3, and we are still a little stuck on the name Edward.  And we still face the same problems with the name that we did with boy #2.  This is what I get for posting so many times about all things Twilight.  A perfectly good name, down the drain.

BUT, should we name baby #3 Edward...

...here are some ideas for dressing little Edward and Jacob (although poor Tyler would feel left out):

--T-shirts that say "We are team Jacob and Edward" with their pictures on the backs (Tyler would have to pick sides, of course).

--For little Edward, a gray v-neck t-shirt, sports jacket, and skinny jeans, and for Jacob, a pair of cut-off shorts and nothing else.

--Bright red lipstick for baby Edward to match what is bound to be extra pale skin (have you seen my other children?).

--Spray tan for Jacob.

Some other ideas to keep with the Twilight theme in our family:

--A super fancy Volvo for Edward when he turns 16.  Jacob can go on foot (bare foot).  Or we can find an old Rabbit for him to fix up.

--Theme beds:  a coffin for Edward and a cave for Jacob.  Tyler can get the bunk bed all to himself.  

If we go with Edward as the baby's name, why not go super fan?

The Importance of Pampering Oneself

I am not a high maintenance kind of girl.  I own makeup, and occasionally I even put it on for family pictures and the occasional night out with the hubs.  My fingernails are usually kind of chipped and funny-shaped, so I just cut them as short as I can.  I tend to have my hair in a ponytail most of the time, because it's just more practical.  But there's something every girl should do, and that's get a pedicure.  Yes, it's nice to have pretty toenails when flip flop season comes around (which seems doubtful this year), and that's one reason to get a pedicure.  But did you know that they also massage your feet and calves, scrub and scrape off anything rough off the soles of your feet, and they exfoliate, too.  This sounds great, doesn't it?  It's the best kind of pampering.  And think about it.  What part of your body gets the most use during the day?  (Don't be naughty.)  Probably your hands.  But, at least for me, my hands get attention:  lotion, soap, sanitizer, etc.  What about your feet?  If you're like me, and spend most of your day on your feet, those poor feet get just as much wear and not nearly enough attention.  If I think about it before bed, which is kind of rare, I slap some lotion on and fall into bed.  Those tootsies deserve some pampering!  And that, my friends, is why I think every woman deserves regular pedicures.

A little jaunt to California

We went to California this past week, and if you want to see a bunch of pictures from our visit to Disneyland and the beach, check out my other blog.  There's a link over on the side of this blog.  It was a good time.  We did a bunch of kiddie rides that were a blast, but I got to do something for me on the last day there.  I know a bunch of you are now addicted to my friend's blog, Rachel Says So, so you know that she is a fantastic person that also happens to be a long time friend of mine.  She lives in Southern California, and we don't get to see each other often, so she made the drive over to Anaheim and met up with me and my family at Downtown Disney for dinner.  The food wasn't awesome, but the company was fantastic.  It was so great to see her, and this time neither of us were puking (see her blog for this curse we have).  The only thing missing in this picture is that we don't have Easter egg painted lips.

Another TV post

I know I just posted on a TV show.  But I have something else to say.  Actually, a few things.

1.  The last few weeks have been like Christmas when it comes to my shows.  Every week I think I'm getting the season finale, and then there's a preview for another episode.  And each episode of each show (Vampire Diaries and Castle, to be specific) has been meaty and exciting, which is why I keep thinking it's the last one of the season.  It's nice to get decent episodes, and not crummy fillers.  Bonus!

2.  For those of you who watch Vampire Diaries, are you feeling a little down today?  Last night's episode wasn't a bad one, by any means, but after watching it with my friends, we all sat there in silence, wiping our eyes and feeling down.  Usually, after watching, we get giggly and chatty and spend the next hour or so talking and joking.  Last night, none of us were in the mood to giggle AT ALL.  This is very unusual.  It was a relief more than a pleasant surprise that there is another episode next week.  I know there are some who haven't watched it yet, so I won't tell you what got us so down, but I will say, CW, you had better resolve that issue you left us with at the end of last night's episode in a happy way.  Or I will walk away from the show.  Yes, I care that much.

3.  I'm currently addicted to HGTV.  Maybe it's because the shows I record at night are a little dark, but I find myself getting sucked in by people looking for their first house (I yell at the TV "You can't change the layout but a can of paint is cheap!  Buy the house!"), remodeling their dated living rooms, and getting Yard and House Crashed.  It's my dream right now to go to the Home Depot to buy light bulbs and have an HGTV contractor come up to me and say, "May I please redo your dysfunctional eating area/living room for free?"  House Hunters International is another show I really enjoy, partly because they go to places like Italy and look at amazing old farmhouses that have been converted into beautiful living spaces.  Partly I think it's funny that some people are so rich that they feel the need to buy a 5 bedroom vacation home for half a million dollars that they'll use for 3 weeks out of the year.  It's called hotels, people.  Cheaper, low maintenance, amenities, housekeeping.  Maybe if I become ridiculously rich I'll suddenly have an urge to buy an expensive second home in St. Croix.  But for now, my dream is just to go to lots of different places all over the world, and not get tied to one vacation spot every year.

4.  One last thing.  There's something about interesting and unique shows that gets them cancelled.  My friend clued me into a show that was available on streaming.  It's called "The Gates."  It's about an exclusive neighborhood that turns out to be a refuge for vampires, werewolves, witches, and other supernatural beings.  I know it sounds too familiar, but it's quite fascinating.  Think Desperate Housewives with a supernatural twist.  And it was cancelled after season one.  With the event of the DVR, people like me skip over ads for new shows, which makes it difficult to hear about shows until they have already been cancelled for lack of viewers.  It would have been nice to see where they were going with the show.  

A Little Flashback

I just KNOW you are dying to find out my thoughts about the Royal Wedding.  Sorry.  This isn't about the Royal Wedding.  I have some thoughts about Dancing with the Stars.  Or, more specifically, this past week's episode.  It was guilty pleasures week.  Not as dirty as it sounds, I swear.  Except Kendra's samba, of course, but when you put a stripper in a tiny outfit and tell her to shimmy it's bound to be a bit, um, adult.  It was songs you're ashamed to admit you love.  And every single song is on my iPod.  I know, I'm that awesome.  But I digress.  Here's what on my mind:

1.  Ralph Macchio is a class act.  I swear, this season has had more mishaps than ever, and it's only half over.  But usually those mishaps happen to the celeb.  (Marie Osmond fainting, Jennie Garth slipping on her dress, Kirstie Allie's shoe falling off.)  You never really get to see the pros try to recover after they've hit the pavement. It was clear Karina wasn't used to falling down.  Ralph helped her up, counted her back in, and got her where she was supposed to go.  He was super cool under pressure.  Mr. Miyagi would have been proud.

2.  I had forgotten the song "Mmm...Bop."  It was nice to see the Hansen boys all grown up and well-groomed.

3.  I thought it was HILARIOUS that the Backstreet Boys sounded like poop, and New Kids on the Block (or Old Middle-Aged Guys on the Block) sounded decent.  And New Kids' moves were WAY better.  And Joey and that other guy did a little ballroom at the end of their number.  Apparently Backstreet Boys need 10 more years of retirement before they sound okay.  Sidenote:  I missed the 5 minutes New Kids on the Block were all the rage here.  I was living out of the country and went I got back to Utah all I heard about was this boy band that was super lame.  I didn't know what a boy band was, and when I heard "The Right Stuff" I didn't get why everyone hated them.  Go figure.

That's it for now.  

Exciting news

Remember this guy?

Now imagine him as Thorin, leader of the dwarves in next year's "The Hobbit," directed by Peter Jackson.  Yeah, I'm having a hard time with it, too.  Here's what theonering.net came up with on Photoshop and with a little imagination:

 December 2012.  Who's coming with me?

Disappeared

The first trimester of pregnancy is tricky, because you're excited and you want to start shopping for baby stuff and new maternity clothes right away, but if you get spotted in Motherhood, people know your secret and the word gets out.  So I spent the last 3 months anticipating buying some new cute maternity clothes to freshen up my stale and overworn wardrobe.  I spent Monday going from one store to another, only to find that it is impossible to find anything for pregnant women anywhere.  This is in the land of babies.  The places I found clothes in the past no longer carry maternity clothes:  Old Navy, The Gap, TJ Maxx, JC Penney (unless you count one rack of horrid giant panel pants), and Walmart.  Some of these stores carry their maternity clothes online, which is great if you're 5'7" and have the perfectly proportioned waist, even while pregnant.  I have to actually try clothes on.  And yes, there is the Motherhood store in the mall, which has a wide selection of clothing for expectant mothers.  If you want to pay out a gazillion bucks for a pair of shorts.  I am annoyed.  Ross carries maternity clothes, which is fantastic, since the clothes there are inexpensive.  But I don't understand why most clothing stores have excluded an entire clientele type.  Especially here in Utah where pregnant women are EVERYWHERE.  Boo on them.

A nugget of news

Gimme a P!
Gimme an R!
Gimme an E!
Gimme a G!
Gimme an O!

What does that spell?  The reason my brain juices are flowing directly to my stomach and I can't come up with a sentence that sounds anywhere near intelligent!

Catching up...again

Three things:

The Trouble with Trilogies:
Just about everyone has read The Hunger Games trilogy.  The main complaint people seemed to have about it was that, while the first book was fantastic and creative, and the second and third books were poorer versions of the same story.  The hero ends up in some version of the games and overcomes near-impossible odds.  I have found myself stuck in the same cycle while reading Scott Westerfeld's "Uglies" trilogy.  I enjoyed the creativity of the first book, "Uglies."  It was a fascinating premise, with the idea that, after the destruction of our civilization (we are Rusties), people developed a system where everyone becomes equally beautiful at the age of 16.  The point is that biologically, people are drawn to beautiful people, which gives pretty people an edge in being hired, being elected, and in overall success.  But something (of course) is wrong with the Pretties, and a group of Uglies are out to solve the problem.  There are actually 4 books, but only three involve the main characters: "Uglies," "Pretties," and "Specials."  Like I said, "Uglies" is fascinating.  The hero goes on a journey out into the wild, meets some new, interesting people, finds herself, and returns to her home with the intent to help improve the world.  And "Pretties" is about the same girl, escaping into the wild, meeting a new group of people, finding out more things to change in her world, and returns to save civilization again.  And "Specials" is about the same girl, finding her true self again, heading out into the wild again, and ending up with yet another group of people who have an agenda, realizes she needs to save the world, and heads back to her home town to make big changes.  It's a little familiar.  I stuck with the books, and now I'm reading the fourth book of the "trilogy."  It's already looking like the new hero is going to head out to the wild and meet some new people. It seems that the purpose of trilogies these days is just that the author wants three times the moola.  Authors, please take a note from J.R.R. Tolkien.  A trilogy could be different parts of the same story told in three parts.  Just a thought.

He's not just good at the crane kick
Can I tell you how excited I am that Ralph Macchio is on Dancing With the Stars?  So excited.  And he was fantastic last night.  Super light on his feet.  And I was stunned when he admitted his age to be 49.  What?  The man looks like he's 25.  And honorable mention goes to Kirstie Alley, who was also super fantastic.  I think I'll be watching this season.

Guilty Pleasure
Okay mom.  You can stop reading now.  Has anyone else watched the first 6 seasons of Desperate Housewives?  I have spent a lot of the last month watching it on Netflix streaming.  Let me tell you what I love about the show.  1.  Four neighbor friends that have different personalities, yet manage to love and support each other through all their trials.  It's heart-warming.  2.  Lynette, a mother of four, is not a perfect mom.  She yells at her kids sometimes, she gets mad at her husband sometimes, and she loves her family more than anything in the whole world.  Plus, she's hilarious.  3.  It's totally over the top, and I love over the top.  ("Lost", anyone?)  For example, a tornado heading right down the center of Wisteria Lane.  Also, the usual soapy stories (babies switched at birth, mysterious murderous neighbors, affairs with gardeners), which, you have to admit, can be kind of exciting.  I'm just saying, it's a fun show.  4.  Despite its soapy tendencies, there are also a lot of situations found in the show that are very relatable:  a friend with cancer whose friends gather around her, a miscarriage, a husband and wife who struggle to make ends meet and end up bickering over it, and motherhood in general.  I have really enjoyed the show.  I'm now stuck waiting for Season 7 to come out on DVD and streaming.  I hear Vanessa Williams has joined the Lane.  Should be fascinating.

That's what's on my mind, peeps. 

A shout out

I don't have a whole lot of time to blog today, but I just finished a fantastic book and wanted to recommend it.  It's called "Peace Like a River" by Leif Enger.  I'm not going to give you a summary of the book for two reasons.  First, because I think sometimes it's nice to start a book not knowing anything.  Discovery is one of the gifts of reading a new book.  Second, because I don't even know how to sum it up.  Instead, I will just give the book an enthusiastic double thumbs up and beg you to read it.  We are having a book group on that very book on March 29th, 8:15pm at my house.  Please read it and come on over. 

A Pleasant Break

I have read a lot of good books lately.  I enjoyed the Hunger Games trilogy, "These is my Words," "The Help," "Unbearable Lightness," and many other books of substance.  It's fantastic to read so much recently written literature.  I've learned so much about the Civil Rights era, the struggles in the Arizona territories in the mid to late 1800s, eating disorders, and the horrors of being a teenager in post-apocolyptic America.  I've also slipped in some fluff here and there, of course.

I got a Nook at Christmas, and a month ago I found all of the Anne of Green Gables books for 99 cents, and bought them.  About a week ago I started reading them for the first time that I can remember.  My mom probably read them to me when I was in elementary school, but things went in one ear and out the other back then.  So this is really the first time for me.  I have seen the movies hundreds of times (like, every other Saturday in college when it wasn't Pride and Prejudice Saturday).  I LOVE the movies.  Who doesn't adore Gilbert and his floppy hair?  But I had no idea how much more there is in the books.  The only word I can come up with is delightful.  There is no horrible tragedy or social commentary, war or depression.  Just a spunky orphan finding beauty in her surroundings.  One of the joys of reading is the ability you have to see inside the characters' minds.  Marilla's thoughts add so much depth to her character.  Rachel Lynde is even more amusing.  I am currently about halfway through "Anne of the Island."  If you need something to brighten up your February, I suggest you give Anne a try.  It is such a pleasure to read these books. 

My New Year's Resolution

So...It's been a couple of weeks since the new year, and I'm sure the two people still reading my blog are wondering why I haven't blogged about my goals for the coming year.  Well, I'm keeping it simple this year.  After reading the Portia di Rossi book, I decided I'm going to stop obsessing over the number on my scale.  Instead, I'm going to just try to be more moderate about my eating.  In di Rossi's book, she talks about how, during her rehabilitation, she just listened to her body (which is what we're always telling Jacob so he won't have an accident), and what she meant was, when she was hungry, she would eat.  When she was full, she'd stop.  She would exercise because her body craved it.  If she ate something super greasy, she noticed she didn't want any more.  So I'm going to give it a try.  I may end up grossly obese.  But I think being less obsessed with whatever diet I'm trying will make me a lot happier.  I've tried it for about a week now.  So far, I've actually exercised twice, which is two more times than I did for the entire months of November and December.  I'm making an effort not to have seconds just because something tasted good.  I'm not denying myself of desserts, because usually after a few days of that I break down and eat 8000 calories worth of chocolate.  I'm keeping gum around so I won't snack when I'm bored.  But mostly, I'm just living my life without thinking of what the next meal needs to be so I won't be fat.  That's my goal.  So next time you see me, if I look fatter, please don't ask if I'm pregnant.  I'm just chubby.  But I'm hoping that instead of being chubby I'll just be healthy.  

"Unbearable Lightness" by Portia de Rossi

I tend to skip by celebrities' autobiographies.  I'd rather not read about how terrible it is to be fabulous.  But my friend recommended "Unbearable Lightness" by Portia de Rossi to me, and, since I trust her judgement, I read it. 

Portia de Rossi is an Australian actress (I had no idea she was Australian) who was in a few movies I'd never heard of, but really hit the scene as Nelle Porter on Ally McBeal.  After 4 years on that show, she won the role of Lindsay Bluth Funke on Arrested Development (great show), and is more recently famous for her marriage to Ellen DeGeneres.  Besides her nationality, I knew all this about her.  And even though I watched some of Ally McBeal and we own all of the seasons of Arrested Development, I didn't know the rest of her history. 

You can read the book to get all of it, but the gist of it is that she learned how to crash diet when she was 12 and started modeling.  Her mom taught her to eat 300 calories a day to lose a pound a day, and after her shoots she and her mom would binge on all the foods she'd missed during her diets.  From there her obsession with her weight and her relationship with food worsened.  As she became more famous, her drive to be thin increased, and she hired a nutritionist to help her learn how to lose weight and keep it off.  She took the tools given to her and twisted them to give her more extreme weight loss, and at one point she weighed a mere 82 pounds. 

De Rossi was frankly honest about her history, and gave the reader a realistic view into the mind of someone struggling from eating disorders.  She made it very clear that anorexia and bulimia are mental disorders, and that the words coming from loved ones to someone with a poor body image can often be blown out of proportion and turned into a sort of mantra that fuels their obsessive behavior.  Critics of the book have said that what her detailed narrative does is provide ideas for people with eating disorders, and that it will just create more problems.  I disagree.  I don't have an eating disorder, so I don't know it for a fact, but to me, what I saw was a very sick woman, and the last thing I wanted to do was become that obsessed. 

Clearly, she is rehabilitated, or she wouldn't have been able to write with the perspective she has now.  She spends time looking back at her life and discussing reasons people become obsessed with their appearance.  She also discusses her struggle with her sexuality, which isn't a subject I care to read about, but in this book, it is given as one of the reasons she became so determined to be perfect.  That part of the book didn't bother me, because I didn't feel like I was being asked to accept her lifestyle, and it wasn't the point of the book.  What I gained from the book was that becoming fixated on something, whether it be a number on the scale or the thickness of your arms or the amount of calories you put in your body, is unhealthy. 

The point is, if you've ever had any struggles with your own body image, or if you have a bad relationship with food, you should read this book.  I can honestly say it gave me a fresh perspective that has changed how I see myself and my relationship food.